Notion
by Dalia907
Summary: Bella & Emmett are best friends traveling the Professional Rodeo circuit together. A stop at an NYC rodeo brings Bella face to face w/ her self, her issues, and an encounter that could change her simple life. B,E,EM,J,A,R; AU/AH/some non-cannon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

**Welcome to my first attempt at fan fiction! Hope everyone enjoys my little playtime with the my favorite characters. Most of the usual characters will make an appearance, though this will be all human, alternate universe and sometimes non-cannon pairings, and there will be some lemony goodness.**

**Please feel free to review, leave suggestions or questions. I appreciate any input. I'm also entering this first chapter without a Beta, so I'll apologize for any mistakes in advance, and if anyone is interested in the job, let me know!**

**The title of this fic was taken from the King's of Leon song of the same name, just in case you were wondering.**

**Definition of Notion****: an idea, opinion or concept; a vague understanding or impression; a sudden desire or whim.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters, but I do own the concept of "Notion". **

**- NOTION -**

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"Ugh. Go away."

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"Don't make me come in there," a loud, deep voice boomed from the other side of the door. "Pull those covers off of your head and get your skinny ass out of bed before I come in there, pick up the whole bed frame and dump you on the floor!"

He knew me so well. The covers _were_ pulled over my head. So was my pillow.

How Emmett McCarty was such a morning person, I'll never quite understand. Maybe it's genetic. Maybe it's some form of mental instability. Either way, his chipper A.M. attitude always pissed me off.

"Isabella Marie Swan…" he half sang as the door to my room creaked open.

_Shit._

Before my brain could process my internal curse and interpret it into the threat I knew was coming, I felt my bed being heaved into the air, effectively allowing my body to roll to the floor, completely entangled in my blanket. I hit the hardwood floor with a loud _thud._

"Ooaff…ouch! You motherf-" before I could finish my profanity and scramble to my feet, Emmett had grabbed the ends of my blanket, encasing me within. Then he slung it over his shoulder, carrying me like a sack of potatoes out of the room.

"Emmett! Put me down! I swear to God, when I get out of here…" I yelled as I struggled and squirmed inside the down comforter.

"Okay, whatever you say my dear," he drawled.

_Thud._

When I hit the floor again, I began flailing my arms and legs, trying to free myself from my feather-filled confinement. When I finally managed my escape, I realized that I was sitting on the bathroom floor, feathers from my blanket floating through the air with my hair standing out in every direction from static electricity.

Emmett was standing over me, covering his mouth and trying to stifle the snickers that were shaking his huge, six foot three inch linebacker frame. He wasn't having much success, which only fueled my anger.

"You look hideous, Bella. You better get cleaned up. We can't have you scaring the calves right out of the pregnant cows while we're riding fence today. I'm sure they'd suffer some kind of permanent mental scarring from seeing you like that," he giggled as he backed slowly out of the doorway and down the hall.

"You jerk," I screamed. "I'm so going to get you back for this. You wait, I will find an appropriate punishment for you in due time. Sleep with one eye open, dill weed!"

I heard his throaty laugh as he trotted down the stairs.

Oh, I'd get him. I always did. And this time he'd be so sorry that he may decide to finally concede and stop messing with me.

But joking and pulling pranks was just how Emmett and I were. We had always laughed and carried on together, and had always been able to find the lighter side of things. Well, he found the lighter side anyway, and I enjoyed the benefits of a perpetually happy go lucky best friend.

I finally drug myself to my feet, peeking out the window to find that the dawn was just starting to edge over the horizon. I let out a small smile, knowing that I'd get to see another gorgeous display of reds, oranges and yellows from the sunrise as I started my day here in north Texas. Emmett's ranch, or rather, his family's ranch, had always been my home, and I was grateful for every day that I could be allowed to wake up to such an overwhelmingly striking country sunrise.

I still wasn't a morning person. At least, I wasn't until I had some coffee in me, which I could now smell brewing from the kitchen below.

As I began to wash up for the day, I let my mind wander back to my childhood, growing up in such a wonderful place.

My mother and father had worked for the McCarty family for a few years before I came along. My father, Charlie, was a skilled ranch hand that worked his way up to foreman in a short amount of time. Renee, my mother, had an accounting degree and took care of the ranch finances as well as overseeing all of the reproduction aspects with the horses and cattle.

My parents and Emmett's parents were extremely close. They both decided to try for a baby at the same time, saying that having two "little ranch hands" at once would be like pairing a good team of driving horses. Leave it to ranchers to compare their children to livestock.

I was born right here on the ranch, exactly one month after Emmett, both of us delivered by the same midwife. I'm fairly certain that my mother timed and calculated both pregnancies as if she were breeding for an early foal.

_If she only could see how close Emmett and I are now, she'd know that her logic was dead on._

I shook my head and quickly squelched out any of _those_ sort of thoughts. No sense in starting the day off depressed about that part of the past.

_Stop it, Bella. Move on._

I took a deep breath and willed those thoughts to a tightly sealed drawer in the back of my mind. They needed to stay locked away.

The smell of bacon joined the coffee aroma coming from the kitchen, and it was enough to snap me out of my deluge to change my into my clothes - faded and worn Wrangler jeans, a thermal long-sleeved top and my favorite over sized button down flannel shirt that I stole from Emmett last year. Then I headed downstairs toward the delicious smells.

After I made it to the first floor and turned the corner, I was faced with site of Emmett flipping over some eggs while wearing a huge grin…and my pink "kiss the cook" apron.

"Well 'Suzy Homemaker', what's for breakfast," I snorted.

He spun around, using his spatula as a pointer. "To make up for throwing you out of bed, I decided to make your favorite bacon and extra cheese omelet. Coffee's on the counter. Ice pack for your bruised ass and ego is in the freezer," he grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. No icepack needed at the moment, but the day is young," I replied. "So what's on the agenda for today, Emmy-bear?"

He scraped the eggs around the pan giving me a side glance as he answered.

"First, don't call me Emmy-bear; we're not twelve anymore. Secondly, we're going to ride fence and check on the herd this morning, see how many calves have dropped overnight. Then I figure we'll take the rest of the afternoon to work out the horses and pack up the trailer for the trip tomorrow. I'm not contracted to take any stock up there, so we'll just have the horses, which is good because I really didn't feel like dragging two trailers through New York City," he relented.

"I wholeheartedly agree. I was dreading having to drive one of the trailers through those Godforsaken streets. Now I can quietly gnaw off my fingernails in the passenger's seat while you navigate around all the crazy city slickers."

Emmett sighed and shook his head. "If we didn't need to stay in the hunt to qualify for the NFR, we wouldn't be making that two day trip into the city from hell with a dually truck and a thirty five foot horse trailer, that's for sure."

I sighed as well. The NFR - National Finals Rodeo, held in Las Vegas - was the culmination of a very hard year's worth of being on the road nearly every week. Rodeoing was a passion for Emmett and I. I loved the thrill and speed of the only women's event, barrel racing. With his huge frame and massive muscles, Emmett tore up the steer wrestling and even did some dabbling in the calf roping. He was surprisingly quick for his size, and he and I were steadily climbing the rankings in our respective disciplines in an effort to get qualified for the "big show".

It had been our dream to make it to the NFR since the first time we watched Ty Murray and Charmayne James take home tittles on TV when we were twelve years old. Emmett's family was completely supportive, and gave us a full year to chase down our dreams. They even hired on extra hands to take our place on the ranch while we traveled the relentless rodeo circuit.

We came home when we could between events, mostly just to pick up a fresh horse or two or to haul some livestock that Emmett had been contracted to bring in. He had finagled his way into the rodeo scene as a livestock dealer, mostly steers and a few bucking bulls here and there, to help offset our hauling costs and entry fees.

This time we had been home an entire week in preparation for this long haul across the country. After the rodeo at "The Garden", we would be hitting some other smaller circuits on our way back home. So this trip we decided to each take two horses with us - our primary mounts and our back up mounts. The back up horses would come in handy in case of injury to our main rides, and we could even rent them out to other competitors to catch ride since many of them were flying in instead of driving their own rigs. Bringing an extra horse for someone to catch ride fetched us a little extra pocket money, too.

So, after finishing out breakfast, we headed straight for the barn to saddle up for our daily rounds on the herds. The round orb of the sun was just beginning to pierce the horizon, sending brilliant orange rays across the scrub brush and cacti.

"Amazing," I gushed, peering at the golden rays illuminating the sky.

"I know I am, but thanks for reminding me," Emmett said with a haughty tone.

I stopped mid stride and slapped his arm. "Not you, you big lug. The sunrise!"

"Sure. Just keep telling yourself that, little girl. You know that I am utterly amazing…and smart, and funny, and talented, and a sex God…"

"And delusional," I added.

"Hey, me and all the voices in my head resent that."

I laughed. "Well I resent you insisting you're a sex God. I definitely don't need to relive all your conquests, especially since I usually hear them through the thin walls of our cheap hotel rooms."

We reached the barn then, both pulling two of the ranch stock horses out of the stalls to cross tie and saddle.

"Don't judge me," he snorted sarcastically. "And don't knock it 'till you try it, little girl. You've never had a ride on the 'Emmy-go-round', so you have no basis for your insane accusations."

"Oh that's a pretty picture, an Emmett merry go round. Exactly how many seats have been taken on that ride already?"

"Like I said, don't judge me. And I can't help it if the ladies flock to me like sheep. They love the big, dirty bull dogger," he exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Those aren't even considered ladies, Em. Those are buckle bunnies, only after the trophy of having bagged the winning cowboy so they can go back and gush to all their little buckle bunny friends," I said, rolling my eyes as I slipped the bridle onto the gray gelding next to me.

"Playboy bunnies, buckle bunnies…whatever. All I know is that humping like rabbits does a body good. Mostly my body."

I had to laugh. I knew what he was going to say next. He always had some smart remark about how the last girl that enjoyed the ride on "the E train". Most of the time he just referred to them by hair color or a visible tattoo since he never bothered to remember their names.

He sauntered up next to me, his horse in hand, and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"You know, _you_ could always do your own body some good and jump the E train. I know how to keep all my bunnies satisfied."

That was not what I expected. I was braced to hear about the latest blond or redhead who was so blown away that she couldn't stop screaming his name. Instead, he was asking for me in that scenario.

I stared straight ahead for a minute, trying to collect my thoughts. Sure, Emmett was an extremely attractive guy - muscles exploding out of his massive frame in places that I didn't even know a person could have them, ice blue eyes that pierced your soul, and that cocky attitude that could make a woman melt into submission. But this was also my Emmy-bear, the guy that I had grown up with practically as my brother. He was the one who could cry at sappy movies when two hours before he was hitting someone on the football field so hard that they got a concussion. I knew all of his dark little secrets and he knew mine. _So what the hell was he trying to say to me?_

I turned my head and backed away so I could look at his face. At first glance I saw something I didn't recognize - vulnerability, or desire maybe? - but it was gone in the next second, replaced with his usual sarcastic smirk. Seeing that familiar expression return, I was finally able to exhale the breath I had been holding.

I needed to break the tension I suddenly felt.

"Whatever. Come on, Em, let's get moving. We've got a long day."

He simply nodded, still smirking, then lead his bay mare out of the barn and effortlessly sprung into the saddle. I shook my head, trying to jar any extemporaneous thoughts from my mind as I followed suit.

The morning went smoothly with only two new calves out in the herd, both seemingly making it without complications. Emmett and I hadn't really talked in depth since leaving the barn, so I wasn't surprised when he couldn't keep his mouth shut on the way back.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you, I talked to Jasper last night."

_Gulp._

"We're going to meet up with him and Rosalie in New York and travel with them for a while. Plus I figured you could work on that humping like rabbits thing with him," Emmett sneered.

My head whipped around to face him as I shot daggers at him with my eyes. "There will be no humping of any kind, Emmett McCarty!"

"Come on, Bella, you know Jasper has been in love with you for years. He follows you around drooling like a lost puppy for Christ's sake. It's obvious and pathetic if you ask me. But I bet he'd drop his drawers in the middle of the arena if he thought he had a chance to be with you," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I shook my head and groaned, trying to deny what I already knew to be true. Jasper Whitlock, all-around cowboy extraordinaire, had been crushing on me since our high school rodeo days. I was always flattered, especially since he was one of the most sought-after cowboys by the buckle bunnies.

He truly was gorgeous - six feet of long, lean, bow-legged muscle. He had chin length, wavy blond hair, deep blue eyes, a small batch of freckles dotting his nose and cheeks. He could've easily been some kind of male model, but, just like his father, he was a true cowboy through and through.

Following in his father's footsteps, Jasper loved rodeo and ranch work and lived on his family's cattle spread in southern California. His father had been one of the rodeo greats who happened to meet and fall in love with a beautiful, young TV actress while he was taking his own tour of the NFR in Vegas. They were married by a cliché Elvis, which of course made it into all the tabloids, and promptly settled on their newly acquired southern Cali ranch so she would have an easy commute to L.A.

With Jasper's genetics and California upbringing, you could easily see the surfer boy meets cowboy look he had going - and, God, did it work for him. He was attractive, charming and at the top of his game on the national rodeo standings. Everyone wanted a piece of him, and apparently he wanted a piece of me.

I knew I should be elated that a great catch like Jasper could be mine, but for some reason I was stalling. On paper we were well suited for one another, and every time I was near him I could feel the chemistry between us. But something was missing; something not quite tangible. I was probably just being stupid and stubborn, just like Emmett and Rosalie had always told me.

His main rodeo events were bull riding and saddle broncs, but Jasper captured many an all-around title by placing just as well in the roping, steer wrestling and bareback broncs. He was good, and like any good cowboy, he knew it; they just seemed to come with that cocky swagger that pushed women to near orgasm by their shear presence; well, it was either that, the huge silver buckles or the skin tight Wrangler jeans that left nothing to the imagination.

Jasper's twin sister, Rosalie, was another could-be model. She was the spitting image of her flawless mother - five foot eleven, long, strawberry blond hair, hazel eyes and a Barbie doll body. She was a smart, witty and tough chick, having done the high school rodeo scene with us before accepting early admission and finishing her degree in journalism. When she graduated, she combined both ends of her family's spectrum and became a sports anchor for ESPN's rodeo division. They struck gold with her since she was physically stunning, plus, with all of her connections in the industry, she definitely knew her way around behind the chutes.

So, with the promise of Emmett's never ending teasing and both of the amazing Whitlock's for company, the trip to the big apple was going to be interesting, to say the least.

Emmett and I finally made it back to the barn around noon. As soon as we finished helping the hands with some barn chores, Emmett began packing our tack and gear in the trailer while I exercised our horses.

I had decided to take Penny - a smaller, catty red sorrel mare - and Copper - a taller and leaner red dun gelding. Penny was a younger at six years old and was small with a low center of gravity. Copper was long and sleek, and was my "go-to" horse. He could easily handle any size arena, any type of footing - hard clay, deep mud, loose sand, whatever was thrown our way - and was a solid, seasoned citizen at the ripe age of twelve. Because he was older he was prone to a little more soreness, and he required a lot more maintenance and care than the mare. Penny worked best in smaller arenas, and I used her as my backup in case Copper needed some time off.

Scarlet and Rhett were Emmett's mount choices. They were full brother and sister, born only a year apart. Both were dark bay with two white stockings, only Scarlet's stockings were on her front legs and Rhett's were on his back legs. Emmett had bred them, raised them and put all of their training on himself, and those horses were quite a pair. They were some of the best steer wrestling and calf roping horses on the circuit, and Emmett had no shortage of cowboys wanting to catch ride his horses to compete on.

I rode one of my horses and ponied one of Emmett's off the side, switching to the back-up horses and letting the main ones cool down after the short, twenty minute workout. I mostly long trotted and cantered around the oversized round pen, keeping it short and easy since the long trip was going to be tiring enough for the animals.

Emmett pronounced the trailer officially packed just as I was finished rubbing the last horse's legs down with liniment and wrapping them with cotton bandages for support. We put the horses in their stalls for the night, then started walking back to the bunkhouse for dinner.

"Whatcha cookin' for me tonight, Bella dear?"

I snorted. "Oh, I suppose you think you can weasel your way out of making dinner since you made breakfast, huh? I don't think so, Emmy-bear. Today - the whole day - was supposed to be yours, just like yesterday was my day, remember?"

"Hmm." He pondered for a moment before answering. "How about I race you for it," he taunted with a devilish grin.

Without even replying, I pushed off of his arm and took off for the front porch. I heard him grunt and come stomping after me at full force. Cheating with a head start was the only change I had with him, so I tried to take full advantage.

It was no use, though. Emmett caught up to me and tackled me to the ground, making the red dust of the earth fly into the air. We were both laughing and swearing and pushing and shoving, trying to get back on our feet.

Emmett was the first to start running again, but made a fatal mistake by slowing down to look over his shoulder at me. I quickly closed the gap and leapt onto his back, wriggling around and trying to force him down. But the former linebacker wouldn't sway and simply grabbed my legs and ran with me on his back all the way to the porch.

When we got there we were both out of breath from running and laughing. Then he turned around and sat down on one of the rocking chairs with me still on his back.

"Oh, God, Emmett! You're too damn huge! I can't breathe," I groaned.

"Yeah, that's what all the girls say to me," he laughed. "I can't help it I'm well endowed"

I smacked his shoulder playfully and he finally stood up, leaving me panting and laughing in the chair.

"You win," he conceded, "I'll fry up some steaks and home fries."

"Sounds good, Em."

I stayed slouched over in the chair, holding my side that was aching from laughing and running so hard. I brushed the stray pieces of my long, chocolate brown hair out of my eyes and I felt the metal of my pinkie ring graze across my forehead.

I looked down to study the little copper circle. A flash of my memory trying to force me to think about where the copper wire had come from to construct it, but that was too heartbreaking of a memory. I quickly repressed it, but let the recollection of who gave it to me and why I wore it take me over.

_It was Emmett who gave it to me when I was sixteen, during a time when I felt utterly alone and hopelessly lost. He slipped in on my pinkie, never taking his eyes away from my tear soaked ones and had said, "This is to remind you. Remind you of where you came from, but most importantly remind you that you are not alone. I will always be here with you, always."_

"_But you won't always be here, you won't, Em," I sobbed. "Someday you're going to find someone else, some pretty girl and you'll forget all about me. I'll just be that girl that you grew up with and nothing more!"_

"_Shh, Bella. That's bullshit. You know you're my girl, and no one will ever come before you." He paused as he pulled me in close to his chest. "I'll make you a promise right now. We'll make a promise to each other."_

_Then he held up his hand in front of my face, showing me the identical copper ring situated on his pinkie. There were two. We both had one._

"_I promise that if I will not leave you until you're ready to leave me. If you can find someone you want to marry and spend your life with, then I will go and find my somebody. But if you don't, then I promise I will not leave you. You and I will live out our days here on this ranch, together. I don't care if a supermodel is banging on my door, ready to shove me down the isle of the nearest chapel. It's you and me, little girl. You will never be alone, I swear…"_

I looked down at the little copper gift as I spun it around my finger. Six years and countless missed opportunities with several good women later, Emmett was still here, true to his promise to me. I suddenly felt guilty for having denied him the opportunity to find some love in his life. But even with the guilt, I still couldn't bring myself to let him go. I needed him. I was selfish and I needed him

Just then the screen door pushed open.

"Hey, little girl, steaks are just about-" he cut himself short after seeing the expression on my face as I looked up to him from my chair.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Concern was dripping from his voice as he knelt in front of me. He grabbed my hands in his. I looked down at our intertwined fingers and saw two copper rings - one on my pinkie, and one on his. He never took it off either.

His eyes followed mine until he caught the object of my stares. Then our eyes met and I could see worry and confusion melt into understanding. He pulled me to him and hugged me to his chest. I rested my head in the crook of his neck like always, sniffling and fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry, Em," I muttered, "I don't know what came over me. It's just getting close, you know? The anniversary? It brings back all those bad feelings. And I'm sorry that you had to make me that promise. I'm sorry you've had to be alone, like me, all this time. I shouldn't have…you need to be able to be with someone you love and…God Em, I'm so sorry," I cried.

"Bella, honey, don't cry. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm here with you because I want to be. And I love you, sweetie, you know that. My life isn't missing anything. You and I are not alone, we're here and we're together. That's all we'll ever need, okay? Look at me, Bella."

He pulled me away to wipe the tears from my face and look me in the eye.

"I meant what I said when I gave you that little ring. I couldn't be happy without you here in my life anyway. It's you and me, little girl, remember?"

I nodded, trying to stifle my tears.

"Good. Now, let's get in there and rescue that beef that's in the skillet before I violate the sanctity of this 'kiss the cook' apron and burn dinner," he said with a huge grin, and I couldn't help but laugh.

We ate, we talked about our game plan for hauling the next morning, and I laughed at Emmett's lame jokes My mood lightened, but I was still feeling a little emotional by the time we started to get ready for bed. I knew I couldn't be alone tonight, or else I'd never get any sleep.

I'm sure he knew it was coming - me sauntering into his bed so I didn't have to sleep alone. He knew I felt safer, less alone when I was next to him while suffering through one of these depressing mood swings. So I walked right into Emmett's room, just like I owned the place as usual, donning one of his wife beater tank tops and my favorite pair of flannel pajama pants - the ones with little pink ponies all over them.

Emmett snorted, then busted out into a full on laughing fit.

"Are you serious? You expect me to sleep beside pink ponies?"

"Shut up and get under the covers, dill weed. I refuse to sleep alone tonight and you know you have a secret pink pony fetish you're dieing to reenact with me," I teased.

Still laughing, Emmett shut off the light, pulled back the covers and crawled in bed beside me. Normally we would sleep facing opposite directions - butt to butt - since all I needed to feel better was to hear him breathing and feel his warmth beside me. It reminded me of when I used to crawl into my parents bed at night when I had a bad dream, and my Dad's soft snoring would lull me to sleep.

I assumed my position, facing toward the edge of the bed on my side. But then I felt movement at my back.

_Well this is different._

Emmett had shifted so that he was facing my back. Before I could ask what he was doing, he snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me right up against him. My little body fit right inside his, every part of my backside pressed firmly against his front. I heard him let out a deep breath as I was completely enveloped in his warm grasp. I felt a hand sweep my long, loose hair to the side, and then his lips pressed to the back of my neck in a soft, chaste kiss.

My breathing hitched.

_What the hell is he doing…and why am I enjoying it so much?_

I felt his body relax behind me, his arm loosen slightly from around my waist, and then his breathing slowed to it's familiar quiet snore.

My body responded to his breathing as it always did and involuntarily relaxed. My head, however, was still a swirling sea of emotions and thoughts.

I deliberated my situation with Emmett.

_Something is definitely changing between us, I can feel it. He's acting differently. Is he just settling and accepting that he'll have to be stuck with me and my emotional baggage forever? Or is there something there that he's feeling and I'm not seeing?_

Then I compared that with thoughts of seeing Jasper again.

_I should be shot for not being with Jasper. He's good-looking, talented, smart, good-looking, funny, charming, good-looking, treats me well…and he's fucking good-looking! I need to give in and agree to go out on a date with him. I know him. I know he's a good guy. I would be safe with him. I could be happy with him._

And finally I contemplated the unknown.

_But what if there's someone else out there? What if that one true soul mate is out there and I just haven't met him yet? Ugh. Well I'm never going to meet him sitting around the ranch all day. Maybe the Big Apple will be good for me. Maybe I need that totally different scene to really figure things out._

I took a deep, cleansing breath. I felt nowhere near resolved, but I did have the notion that things were going to feel right soon.

Emmett's soft, rhythmical snoring began to work it's magic on my brain, easing it into a peaceful silence. My eyes fluttered closed, my body melted into the bed and my best friend, and I was finally relaxed enough to drift into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with my little story! Hope you enjoy chapter 2!**

Thirty hours straight. Thirty hours and nearly two thousand miles from Midland, Texas to New York City. Probably more if you counted the three instances Emmett decided that we could take a "short cut" to save time and ended up on some dirt road in Podunk, USA. Guys and directions - I never did understand the aversion between the two.

Emmett drove most of the way, though I took over for a few hours here or there so he could catch some sleep. We were both used to taking shifts driving the rig through the night and sleeping in the truck. This rodeo life was a hard one, but both of us lived and breathed for it.

At some point during the night - somewhere in West Virginia, I think - I had pulled over along the side of the interstate. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and Emmett had just woken up from a two hour siesta in the passenger seat. He was sitting with his back against the passenger door, head resting back on the window, arms crossed and one leg across the bench seat, slightly bent since he was entirely too tall to stretch it out completely.

I shut off the engine, laid my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. Neither of us were in any shape to keep driving right now.

"Hey," Emmett's deep voice rasped.

I half opened one eye and let my head roll to the right to look at him. He looked at me, looked at the dark road, then looked back at me and furrowed his brow for a moment.

He opened up his arms and nodded his head. "Come over here. We'll sleep for an hour and then I'll drive."

I didn't have the energy to argue. As I undid my seatbelt, I watched the crease in Emmett's brow smooth out as he took a deep breath. I scooted over to him so that I was between his legs and curled under his left arm. My right arm wound around to his back, my left hand and face pressed against his massive chest. He engulfed me in both of his huge arms, pressing my slight, five foot, four inch frame even closer to him.

We had been in this position a million times before - just like this when we were too tired to keep driving, a few times on the bathroom floor when I had gotten a little too tipsy, or when either of us had a bad day and needed that comforting embrace - just like a brother and sister looking out for one another. Emmett and I were inseparable.

But again, there was something different this time.

Without realizing what I was doing, I moved my right hand just under Emmett's un-tucked shirt on his back. When I felt his warm, firm skin I began tracing circles with a feathery light touch of my fingernails. The rest of my body remained limp, melting with exhaustion into his sturdy frame.

Emmett stiffened for a moment and held his breath. My brain was so slow that his reaction didn't register with me until I felt him move his right hand from my back as he used his fingertips to brush the hair from my eyes. I felt the muscles in his chest shift and I knew he was looking down at me, even with my eyes still closed. His hand moved again, this time running the backs of his calloused knuckles along my cheekbone and my jaw.

I felt my breathing speed up at the same time as Emmett's. I fought the urge to open my eyes and look at him, trying to squeeze my eyes shut as hard as I could, but I failed miserably. My lids fluttered open and I tilted my head up to find his face. He truly was attractive. His deep blue eyes, coal black, curly hair and his very masculine features were accentuated by the intermittent lights of the passing cars on the highway. My fingers on his back and his knuckles on my face never stopped their slow and soft circuits.

I knew his expression was a mirror image of my own the moment I looked up at him - brow again creased, eyes half closed, yet smoldering with emotions ranging from desire to confusion, lips parted and moist. Our breathing was ragged. I could feel his heart slamming against his ribs with my cheek, my own ready to leap from my throat.

I didn't know what was going on. It was dark. We were exhausted. Yet here we were, lost in our mutual delirium, too far gone to stop and make sense of our actions on our own.

Emmett's enormous hand slash paw was then cupping the side of my face and he began drawing us closer together. He turned his head just slightly, and stopped with his lips less than a millimeter from mine. I could almost taste him as we breathed so heavily, like sweet tea with lemon, crisp and cool and inviting, mixing with the scent of my berry chap stick.

With both of our mouths still open, he pressed his lips against mine, but neither of us budged them. His hand moved from my face to the back of my neck, and he grasped my long hair there between his fingers. The embrace of his other arm tightened around my waist.

"Bella," he whispered, his lips moving against mine as he said my name.

I had never heard a more sensual sound in my life.

Our eyes started to close. My hand on Emmett's back froze and pressed firmly into his skin; the hand on his chest fisted his shirt into a ball. I could feel the ache inside of me wanting to press my lips to his harder…to move them…to kiss him.

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

I jumped away from Emmett, nearly hitting my head off of the roof as I sat straight up. He was startled, too, and was blinking and looking around trying to figure out what had just happened.

_Knock! Knock!_

"Hello? Y'all okay in 'nere," an unfamiliar voice boomed from outside the truck.

I spun around to face the driver's side window to see a… well, a… someone… standing there looking concerned and wearing some type of uniform. I quickly hit the button to roll down the window about half way.

"Uh," I stammered, "I'm sorry, officer. We, um…we were just tired and needed to pull off to sleep. We're, uh, just passing through. Texas to New York."

"Oh, I ain't no cop, honey," the person said in a higher pitched voice. I looked at her face, then her neck. No adam's apple. A woman. But then, I saw some kind of bulge in the side of her cheek that I couldn't identify.

"I'm parta 'da West Virginia Highway Courtesy Patrol," she nodded to behind the trailer. I stuck my head out the window and saw a white truck with flashing yellow lights and "WVHCP" stamped on the hood.

"We help out broke down vehicles 'n report accidents 'n stuff. I jest tought y'all might be needin' some help," she drawled in an accent way deeper than either of ours. And then she spit.

_She spit!?_

I froze, eyes wide in disbelief. The manly woman with the terrible grammar and thick accent standing in front of me just leaned to the side and spit like a pro - had to be at least an eight foot distance. I put two and two together and realized that the bulge in her mouth was a side chew of snuff. Then she smiled, and my fears were confirmed by the snuff grains stuck to what was left of her yellow teeth.

I heard Emmett half cough and half choke. The only thing I could do was sit there with my mouth hung open in shock. Finally Emmett composed himself and leaned around me to save me from my stupor.

"It's ok, ma'am. We're _wide_ awake now. We'll be on the road again right away," he assured her.

I nodded, still unable to pick my jaw up off of the floor of the truck.

Just then, a stiff breeze plowed through the window and hit us both square in the face. It carried her smell with it. The smell of moldy bread, spearmint snuff… and the most intense body odor I have ever inhaled.

Both of us jerked upright, closed our mouths and held out breath at the same time. It was too late, however, since both of our mouths were open when the breeze hit. I could almost taste the sweat and grime on my tongue. Emmett held it together, only making a sour expression on his face. I, on the other hand, began choking and coughing, suddenly wanting to spit myself for a completely different reason than our highway savior did.

The man-woman spit again, then smiled. "A-ight 'den, sugar. Y'all be careful 'den," she said as she winked - _winked! _- then waddled her large frame back to her truck. I took one more glance at her from my side mirror, just in time to see her reach around and scratch her ass with authority.

_Oh. My. God._

I wound up the window as fast as I could and looked over at Emmett in horror. His eyes were just as wide as mine.

"Let's get the hell out of here," I said with conviction.

I climbed over him as he scooted to the driver's seat. We were peeling away from the shoulder and speeding down the highway in less than thirty seconds.

I sat staring straight ahead with a tense look on my face, completely lost in thought and trying to comprehend what had just happened.

We were just given a grand old welcome to this wild state by the queen of all rednecks. She chewed, she spit, she smelled way worse than any pile of manure I could think of. She was almost a he, or an it. She had winked at me. And, to top it all off, I was a second away from kissing the one guy on this entire planet that could qualify as my brother. This state and it's clichés just came to life before my very eyes.

Emmett must have been having the same revelation.

He looked over at me and said with fervor, "We are _never_ stopping this vehicle in West Virginia for _any_ reason _ever_ again."

I vigorously nodded my head in full agreement.

Neither one of us relaxed until we could make out the words of our salvation on a little yellow and white sign… "Welcome to Maryland."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Neither of us were able to sleep the last two hundred miles or so after the "redneck incident" as we have now dubbed it. I wasn't sure if it was because of the scary woman herself, or if it was because of the other elephant that was precariously smashed between us in the cab of the truck - the almost kiss.

Just outside of the New York City Limits, while we were sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, I decided to try and clear the air. I refused to let whatever had happened, or whatever was about to happen back there, destroy us.

I had already tried quietly sorting through my own jumbled thoughts, but they simply brought up more questions rather than answers. I had felt something different coming from Emmett the last few days. He was orienting himself around me differently, touching and holding me in a much more distinctive way, but he didn't seemed particularly fazed by it.

I, on the other hand, was internally a mess about the whole situation. Sure, I loved Emmett, and I couldn't imagine my life without him, but I wasn't sure if I could ever really feel _that _way about him. Maybe I could in time? I didn't know. I knew I felt safe with him, but was that good enough? I also didn't want my own personal insecurities to hold him back from venturing out and finding the fulfilling life he definitely deserved.

Or, maybe I was reading entirely too much into this whole thing. Maybe he didn't feel anything for me beyond that brother-sister type of love that we've always had.

I internally sighed.

Only one way to find out.

"Em?" I couldn't look at him, so I eyed my boots as if they were going to magically click together and reveal all the answers I was seeking. Dorothy sure had it easy.

"Yeah, Bells?"

I glanced over to see Emmett looking right at me, a carefree expression on his face. My perpetual sunshine. He had one hand on the steering wheel, the other slung over the back of the seat, an absolute picture of relaxation. He obviously wasn't stressing over this like I was.

I hesitated for a moment, then figured he would just tell me to spit it out, that we had no secrets from each other anyway. So I did.

"Before that beast-lady knocked on our window, when we were going to sleep for a while, but, uh, didn't…what the hell was that?"

I forced myself to watch his expression for any clues. He paused, and his eyes wandered to the side, gazing off to some unknown object before returning to mine.

"I think…" he trailed off, looking away again. He was really concentrating and I could tell he was trying to work something out with himself internally before speaking. "I think we were both deliriously tired," he exhaled. "Not that I didn't… I mean, of course I… just…" he to another deep breath, trying to collect himself from his ramblings.

I wasn't sure what to say, but I suddenly felt like I needed to open my mouth. Let him off the hook maybe?

"It's okay, Em. We were tired. I understand."

He furrowed his brow for a second before continuing, a serious look plastered to his face. "No, really, I just…"

Just then his phone starting vibrating and ringing his signature _Who's Your Daddy_ country song ring tone. Leave it to Emmett to spoil a perfectly serious mood with an inappropriate music interlude from his cell. He looked at the small silver phone, then to me, then back to the phone, finally making a decision as he reached for it and flipped it open.

"Hello? Hey, man! Yeah, we're just outside the city, stuck in traffic… Uh huh… I know how that is." He snorted and giggled before continuing, "I bet she's eating that shit up right now… Yeah, sure, tell her I'd like that… Oh, I think that could be arranged… Of course, she's right here with me, hold on."

He leaned over to me, handing me the phone. "Jasper would like to speak with you," he trilled like a little school girl. Whatever he was about to say with our serious conversation before, he had now clearly gotten over. This was the old, familiar, best friend Emmett that was handing me the phone.

I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed the little silver object out of his enormous hand. A small smile played on my lips as I began to speak. Jasper seemed to have that effect on me.

"Hello?"

"Bella! How are you, sweetheart?"

I blushed at his pet name for me. Thank God he couldn't see it right now.

"I'm good, Mr. Jasper. How 'bout yourself?"

"Oh, you know me. Trying to keep Rosie in line and my body healthy so I can keep on abusing it a little longer," he laughed easily.

God, his body. Why did he have to bring up that drool worthy body? There was no way I was going to be able to make a coherent sentence now.

"Oh, uh, right. We wouldn't want you getting hurt or anything."

Emmett snorted beside me and starting doing make-out poses and faces and licking the air with his tongue, whispering, "Oh, Jasper!"

I smacked him in the arm and glared at him, mouthing, "Shut up!"

"So, um," Jasper continued, "I already asked Emmett, but I guess I should ask you, too. Would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?"

_Holy shit. Was Jasper Whitlock asking me on a date? What do I say? Am I ready for that? Shit, shit, shit…_

I quickly regained my composure enough to answer.

"Um, sure, that's sounds nice. But you really didn't have to ask Emmett for permission, you know," I scoffed.

"Oh shit, Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I should have told you Rose and Emmett already agreed to go. I just wanted to ask if you'd join us."

_Great, Bella. Now your assumptions have made you look like an ass. "Well, shit" pretty much sums up the last twenty four hours, now doesn't it?_

"Oh God, now I'm sorry! I just…I don't know what I thought," I spit out, horrified.

"Bella, it's fine. Actually, now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind taking you somewhere without all the extra company sometime. Maybe after the first go 'round? We can either celebrate it or drown our sorrows together."

I laughed, knowing that after the first round we could both be in much different moods.

"That sounds like a good plan. I may need to drown some sorrows if I can't clock up a good time in my run tomorrow," I relented. I definitely needed to make a good run and get a good time to stay in the NFR hunt.

"Don't worry," he replied soothingly, "you're going to be brilliant, just like you always are."

I couldn't help but smile in the phone. I don't know why, but Jasper's calm and sure demeanor always seemed to put me at ease.

"Thanks, Jazz. You're gonna knock 'em dead, too, you know."

"Thanks, sweetheart, I'll sure try," he drawled in his southern gentleman way.

"See you soon, Jazz."

"Not soon enough, Bells. Bye."

**End chapter 2...**

**To answer some questions before they are asked…**

**Yes, there is such a thing as the West Virginia Highway Courtesy Patrol, and yes, I did meet the she-man as described in the story while broken down with my truck and trailer on the side of the road. **_**Everything**_** that was written in the description of the she-man was completely and disgustingly true. I also apologize if I offended anyone's favorite state of WV, but the true story of what happened to me and all the clichés were just too good to pass up! Sorry, you know I love you!**

**Please feel free to review or comment! All suggestions are welcome!**


	3. Chapter 3

I really hate this city.

The noise. The traffic. The congestion. The smell. 

It was all too much, too foreign. I'd only been here a few hours and I already missed the hot sun and wide open spaces of my home. I had no idea how people could live all smashed together in one area like this their entire lives. When they ran out of room to squish together side by side, they simply built the buildings higher so they could stack people right on to of each other, like Lego's. I'm pretty sure I would snap if I were ever subjected to this for any length of time. Come to think of it, that explained a lot about the crazy and eccentric people that graced the New York City streets.

After hours of sitting in traffic, we had finally found our way to Madison Square Garden. Emmett and I unloaded the horses, making sure that they were sound and happy in their stalls. I was so exhausted and disheveled from the trip, that I didn't bother with my hair or makeup. I simply threw on one of Emmett's baseball caps and his oversized sweatshirt, still wearing my faded Wranglers and favorite pair of nearly worn out boots. I was all about comfort.

I was kneeling down in the fresh pine shaving bedding, finishing up removing the hauling wraps and bandages from Copper's legs as he nibbled some hay, when I suddenly had the feeling I was being watched. I looked around a bit, then ducked my head to peer under my horse's belly toward the open stall door.

Sure enough, I found a pair of long, lean, bowed legs, ankles cross, leaning against the inside of the stall. I glanced up a little more, recognizing the huge NFR Champion belt buckle perched on his leather belt. I laughed internally, realizing that I was just as much a redneck as the West Virginia lady for being able to recognize someone by their bowed legs and belt buckle. I didn't care; I knew of only two sets of bowed legs that would grace my horse's stall with their presence, and the pair in front of me certainly weren't Emmett's.

"Hi, Jazz."

"Hi, Bells."

I slowly rose to my feet, taking in the full and remarkable view that was Jasper Whitlock. I tried to play it cool, but I couldn't help the smirk that came across my face. I folded my arms and rested them on Copper's back, trying to be casual as I drank him in. 

Jasper was always in the public eye for both his accomplishments and his high profile family, and he definitely dressed the part. Well, as dressed as any cowboy could be. He wore fitted, dark Wrangler Jeans and a crisp, white button down shirt - both starched and creased so diligently that they could stand up on their own accord. His boots were black stingray with squared toes - no doubt Rosalie had picked them out for him. His huge silver buckle was blazing, and his buckskin felt hat was creased to perfection. Blond locks were in a neatly organized disarray beneath his hat. 

He peered at me from under his long lashes and his hat, grinning. Finally he pushed away from the wall and leaned over my horse, mimicking my position on Copper's back. We hadn't seen each other in weeks, and I didn't think it was possible for him to look any more appealing that he had then. I was clearly wrong.

Our eyes stayed connected as I spoke, and I tried desperately to ease the tension in my gut. "What's a guy like you doing in a place like this?" 

"Waiting for a vibrant, beautiful woman like you to ride in, steel my heart and then come over here and give me some sugar since I haven't seen her in, well, far too long," he answered without missing a beat, eyes still never leaving mine.

I was the one to look down and break his gaze as I walked around my horse to stand in front of him. He turned, an enormous grin on his face. I giggled as he scooped me up into an embrace, lifting me feet of the ground as he swung me around in a circle. I could feel the warmth of his skin and breath in the crook of my neck just before he set me back on the ground. Then he held me at arms length, giving my entire frame a once over.

"Emmett's hat doesn't quite suit you," he said in a matter of fact tone.

I crinkled my nose. "How do you know it's not my hat?"

He chuckled. "Because you're hat wouldn't have a Corona label on it. You're a Crown Royal kind of girl."

"And what makes you think you know what kind of girl I am?"

"Oh I know all about you, sweetheart."

"Is that so," I scoffed, absently letting my fingers twist a piece of my hair from the ponytail pulled through the hat.

He took a step back from me and crossed his arms with an amused look. "You don't like beer. You like to drink whiskey or rum with Coke, not Pepsi, but you'll drink Crown straight up because you think it has a sweetness to it's slow burn down your throat. I was there when you happened upon your one night stand with tequila, and I remember it ended with Emmett holding your hair back on the side of the road on more than one occasion that night. I know that you like to sit at the back of the bar so you can people watch while you drink. I know that when you dance, you tend to lose yourself in the music. Your clothes are purely functional or for comfort. You have this funny little habit of staying completely mute and focused from the minute you get on your horse before your run; you don't hear a word anybody says to you after that."

I twirled my hair a little faster, staring at him with wide eyes as he closed the distance between us again, lifting his hand to rest on my shoulder.

"You play with your hair when you're lost in thought or nervous. You always wear that funny little ring on your pinky, though I'm not sure why. And you look beautiful, even after a two day straight road trip."

My fingers abruptly leg go of my hair. I dropped my hand to my side and curled instinctively around my copper ring. Jasper stepped even closer, so close our whole bodies were almost touching.

"And the one thing I'm absolutely certain of? I am hopelessly and completely in l-"

"Bella! Oh my God, you're finally here!"

I jumped at the sudden exclamation of my name and started looking around frantically. Before I knew what was happening, a sudden whoosh of long, blond hair slammed into me, squealing.

"Oaf… hi Rose," I murmur since she's cutting off most of my air supply with her overzealous hug.

When she pulled away, we were both smiling like idiots. Rosalie was one of the only females that I could actually relate to. Her tough exterior and straightforward nature was something I respected about her. She was a no bull shirt kind of girl, and I liked it.

"Jasper," she chided as she slapped his chest, "quit hogging my Bella. You can have your grubby paws on her later, after I've taken her to the spa and shopping with me."

"Oh, Rose," I whined. "You know how much I hate this girl stuff!"

"Too bad! Get over it! It's been way too long since I've seen you let alone spent some girl time with you. So, I am taking you out on the town tonight and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you wear boots and a baseball hat. Trust me, after we hit La Perla, Jasper will want his hands on you even more."

"Rose!" My eyes were wide and my cheeks were on fire.

The incessant blond waved her hand in the air. "Psshh. Whatever, Bella. Come on." She grabbed my hand and started dragging me out of the stall. "We have to get going if you're going to be dazzling by dinner time."

I drug my feet against her towing. "Wait, Rose. I can't go yet. I have to finish getting the horses settled, check in at the entry office to get my draw, not to mention I haven't even checked into my hotel yet!"

"Don't worry about it, Bells," Jasper stated calmly as he walked into the isle way. "Emmett and I will take care of everything. You go and have fun with Rosie."

I looked at him incredulously. "Fun? Do you even know what girly tortures your sister is going to put me through?"

He just laughed as Rosalie tisked in disapproval. 

"Isabella," ooh, now she was getting serious, "in case you haven't noticed those things sprouting from your chest, those are boobs, you _are_ a girl, and it's about time you start acting like one. Someone has to introduce you to the spa and exfoliation before it's too late and you become a dried up old hag raisin."

"Lovely." I was so fucked.

Jasper just laughed as Rosalie drug me away again. "Have fun girls," he chuckled. 

Three hours, four pairs of lace panties and practically a new wardrobe later - all courtesy of Rosalie's obscenely high limit credit card - I found myself sitting in a padded chair and donning a short, pink robe. 

The spa. It might as well be called "Rosalie's House of Horrors". Wall to wall women were stacked in there, getting prodded, scrubbed, pulled, tweezed, soaked and something that looked and sounded like sand blasting, all in the name of beauty. 

While the spa workers fawned over Rose and I, I was utterly lost in thought. My mind kept drifting back to Jasper. 

_What was he about to say when his twin suddenly bounced between us? It sounded like… no, no Jasper couldn't want to say that. Could he?_

My thought train paused at the station when I eyed the small Chinese woman sauntering towards me with a vat of steaming goop. 

_Oh, that can't be good._

"Uh, Rose? You're sure this is necessary? I do own a razor…"

"Bella," she argued, "trust me. It's not that bad. And you'll love it when it's done, I promise."

I sighed, resigned to my fate. I decided to call Emmett while the little dark haired woman began her work. So I pulled out my cell phone and hit speed dial one.

"Bella, babe," he answered. Must've recognized the caller ID. "How's your girl time with Miss Rose?"

"Torturous. I'm about to have molten lava poured to my legs and privates, all in the name of hairlessness."

A bellowing laugh rang from the tiny speaker. It was so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear so I wouldn't go deaf. Rose just glared at the phone, shaking her head.

"Shut up, asshole," I shouted into the phone. "Apparently women do this kind of shit all the time to impress men. You should be grateful for all the-"

Just then the little oriental woman began ripping strips of wax from my thigh, sending me into shock from the pain.

"Fuck! Son of a motherless goat! Jesus Christ, you expect me to sit here through that again! Uh uh, no fucking way…" I yelled as I began to squirm away from the little woman's clutches.

Emmett was still howling on the phone. I could hear him trying to explain what was going on to Jasper in between bellows. Then they were both roaring with laughter.

The Chinese woman grabbed my ankles, preventing my escape. "You hold still, you big baby," she shrieked. "You too hairy to let boy see you naked!"

Rose was suddenly standing over me, scowling and holding my shoulders down while two other spa employees joined in my bondage before another strip was ripped from my thigh.

"Ooouuuccchhh!"

It took three amaretto sours and two Advil to dull the pain. Once I was hairless, painted up, hair pulled around, and scrubbed with what could only be described as sand paper, Rosalie finally deemed me fit to walk the city streets. I felt like a hooker. She said I looked like a model. Whatever.

We made it back to the hotel without incident and went straight to Rosalie's suite. She said the guys were both together in my room one floor down, and that they would be over to pick us up in twenty minutes. 

"No time to lose," she trilled as she shoved an armful of bags at me. "Get dressed."

After wrestling with the new lacy blue strapless bra and matching panties -_ she paid how much for this flimsy piece dental floss_? - I began to unzip the garment bag hung in front of me. I swallowed hard when I pulled out the sheer chocolate brown dress. It was some kind of wrap dress, she said. It had an intricate mauve floral design embossed in the fabric, came to just above my knees and had thinner, almost spaghetti straps to hold it in place on my shoulders. It was kind of pretty hanging there. 

I slipped on the dress and matching heels. Thank God they weren't terribly high heels, Rose had been generous with that at least. She probably just didn't want to be seen with someone who fell down every thirty seconds. I put on the finishing touches of jewelry and perfume - something that smelled like freesia and honeysuckle - before emerging for my captor's approval.

Rose was fidgeting with her dress in the mirror when I walked in the room. She was stunning in her little red dress. It was high necked, but backless, so low down her back I didn't think she's be able to wear underwear with it. The hem flowed around her knees similarly to mine. Her golden hair was down and slightly wavy as it flowed around her shoulders. Rose always looked good, like a movie star, and tonight was no exception.

She turned to look at me with a broad smile. "Bella, you're going to blow the boys away tonight."

I blushed. No way was I going to attract any attention next to her, surely she knew that.

"I'm pretty sure they'll all be drooling over you in that red dress, Rose."

She shook her head and grabbed my hand, towing me over to the full length mirror on one of the doors. "Look at that, Bella. None of the guys will want to go home with the blond tonight."

I gasped at what I saw in the mirror. The woman looking back at me was truly beautiful. Her creamy skin was almost glowing; the makeup on her face was surprisingly subtle, but enough to draw out her best features. Her long hair cascaded in loose waves over half way down her back, and shorter, layered pieces perfectly framed her face. Her eyes, hair, dress and shoes were all the same shade of deep, dark brown. 

"Wow. I look like a… girl. A pretty one," I whispered.

Rosalie laughed and placed her hand on my shoulder. "You look like an amazing, sex kitten, a strong woman, Bella. Now I want you to take this new look and run with it. Strut your stuff tonight. Make all the guys in the restaurant and club want to eat you for breakfast!"

Now it was my turn to giggle. I was actually excited about being just a girl in the city tonight and not the little hick girl from north Texas. 

"Thank you, Rose. I'm sorry I doubted you," I relented.

She just smiled that all knowing smile.

Just then we heard a loud knock, then the door slamming.

"Ladies, your escorts have arrived!" Emmett's voice boomed around the suite.

Before they came into view, I realized I forgot to grab my purse - well, the purse Rosalie had bought and stocked for me - in the bathroom.

"Shit, I have to grab my purse, Rose. I'll be right out."

She nodded, then walked toward the sound of the oncoming men. I heard them give Rosalie an appreciative low whistle just before I turned to corner. She lithely moved to the side to grab her jacket, causing me to suddenly be in the guys' full view.

Their clothes were fabulous. Both of them wore white shirts with ties, pressed and creased slacks with a suit coat clutched in their hands. Emmett's suit was black with a gray tie, and Jasper's was charcoal gray all over. Surprisingly, they had easily made the transformation from cowboy to CEO look-alike, pulling it off with style and class. 

I glanced down at the floor, all at once feeling awkward and out of place. I didn't think I could pull off "normal" as well as the rest of them could. I knew at some point during the night I was going to stumble or say the wrong thing and show my true unladylike nature. 

Rosalie cleared her throat, snapping my attention back up at her. Then I saw the guys' faces. They were staring at me. Mouths open. A look of utter shock between them. It made me self conscious again, and I looked down and fumbled with the purse in my hands. 

Emmett's voice brought me out of my stupor.

"Wow, Bella. You look…wow…like a girl, er, I mean woman…I mean…wow," he stammered. 

I crinkled my nose and cocked my head as I looked up at him. "Why, Mr. McCarty, are you at a loss for words?" A smile started to play on my lips as I asked. I could feel some confidence slowly leaking to the surface.

"Quite," he answered. I giggled.

"All right, boys," Rosalie chided. "Divert the blood flow from your crotch back to your brains so we can make our dinner reservation on time. Come on, let's go," and she grabbed Emmett's elbow and yanked him out the door. 

I started walking toward the door, noticing Jasper's eyes on me every step of the way. I gave him a side glance and was about the step over the threshold when he reached out, softly grabbing my arm. I stopped mid stride as he closed the gap between us and leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Bella… you are absolutely stunning tonight. You're beautiful. And it has nothing to do with that dress."

He straightened up and pulled my hand into his, then locked our elbows together and escorted me out of the suite.

My internal butterflies were beating the crap out my stomach. I was nervous and elated at the same time. Tonight, I got to reinvent myself. I would be the confident, talkative, outspoken sex-kitten Rosalie had suggested was hidden inside me. I wanted to feel that high, that freedom of being someone else for one night. Who knows, maybe I wouldn't be someone else entirely at all. Maybe the woman in the dress and heels had always been a hidden part of me waiting to finally make it's escape.

It was going to be an interesting night of self discovery.

_Thank you, Rosalie._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know I didn't have an A/N on chapter 3, and I didn't want to leave you hanging this time! Thank you so much for reading my story! And the reviews are really encouraging and greatly appreciated! **

**So chapter 3 left us with Bella experimenting with her new "girlie" side. We'll see where that pans out… *grinning with anticipation***

**Also wanted you to know that all of the guys in this story are very sincere in their feelings for Bella. They're not players or anything, and each of them would do pretty much anything to make her happy. Lucky girl!**

**Now, on with chapter 4...**

_Thank you, Rosalie…_

A limo. Not just any limo. A Hummer limo. With a huge set of steer horns on the front.

I shot a shocked gasp and a look over to Rosalie as we stood on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. She just shrugged her shoulders.

"What? ESPN has it's perks. And they know my taste," she said, nodding to the steer horns.

Everyone laughed and high-fived Rosalie like a couple of middle school kids. And that set the mood for the night. We laughed and carried on, care free and living it up. We all sort of reverted from our usual, responsible, tense and competitive ridden selves into the normal twenty-somethings we could have been had we grown up in this city. Each one of us seemed to take on a different persona tonight. It wasn't just the citified clothes we were donning - sure, we were our most comfortable in jeans and boots, but this really seemed to fit, too. There was a tangible electricity in the air that had us all letting our secret selves shine through.

Rosalie's secret self wasn't so secret; she often pulled off the transition between tough cowgirl and radiant sports personality, being at home both on horseback and in heels. But witnessing the rest of my friends make the easy transition from one genre to the other was staggering, not to mention entertaining. Obviously I knew about Emmett's secret tendencies toward rap music, and that he could really clean up well. I had been with him too long not to notice that.

I still had no idea how everyone else looked so relaxed. I was a complete nervous mess. This just wasn't my usual way of being. I had always wondered how it would feel to do this - play dress up and try on a different personality - but everything still felt foreign. I tried to just do what I thought any normal girl would do. I swayed my hips a little when I walked. I stood up straight. I tried to smile a lot, which was easy since I was right next to Jasper. I even gave my hair a little toss and licked my lips, just like I'd seen pretty girls do in front of attract guys in the movies. It felt forced.

Jasper, on the other hand, was an enigma. I'd already known about all his southern-like drawl and charm. I knew about his bow-legged swagger, all his champion buckles, the way he rode each bull or bronc with sheer confidence, and the exact spur pattern that he marked them out with. I just had no idea that his confidence could be transferred into an honest to God hot play boy slash preppy type. Must've been his mother's influence.

We piled into the obscene monstrosity, snickering and giggling with excitement.

"Rosie, this is such a fucking pimp-mobile! Woman, you know exactly how to start the party off on the right foot," Emmett clamored as he slung his arm around her. He and Rosalie had gotten in first, sitting on the long side bench seat of the limo, while Jasper and I occupied the smaller seat in the back.

"I told you," Rosalie chided, "friends in high places had it's perks. Plus Mom has enough connections in the city for Jasper and I to have some advantages." She gave her brother a sly smile, and he silently replied with a grin and a wink. God he was smooth. I wonder if he had any idea of the effect he had on me.

As if on cue, Jasper directed his killer smile in my direction, confirming that he most certainly did know his effect on women. I glanced over him head to toe, letting him see me scope him out without shame. He was so utterly different right then. Instead of his proper and gentlemanly stance and façade, he was slouching down on the seat, legs spread apart, one hand hanging loosely across his thigh, the other thrown on the back of the seat behind me. He looked just like any incredibly gorgeous guy you might find perched at a bar or a club, buying drinks and scoring the numbers of every sexy woman in the room. It was a far cry from the gentleman cowboy, but definitely a comfortable part of him from the looks of things.

My eyes came back to his and I nearly melted before he tore them away to give Rosalie a little nod.

"Hook me up Rose. It's time to crank these up," he said as he jutted his thumb behind him.

I turned around and gasped. Situated directly against our backs were the largest set of speakers I had ever seen inside any vehicle, ever. I turned back around to see Rosalie pulling an Ipod and a small black cord from her purse, tossing them both to her brother. Jasper caught them, plugged the cord into the stereo system, and began scrolling through the list of songs.

He smirked, apparently having found what he was looking for. "I think the club play list is in order for tonight. What do you think, Sis?"

She smiled and nodded, "Definitely. We need to educate our friends here with the correct party mood music."

He pressed his long finger to the tiny screen in his hand, still sporting a shit eating grin. The speakers started to bump and shake as "Hypnotize" by Notorious BIG started to play.

Emmett and I both sat straight up and looked at each other, mouths hanging open. I knew this was Emmett's favorite rap song; hell, he even knew all the words. Both of us then whipped our heads around to face Jasper, who was still sitting in the same relaxed position, same grin, but bobbing his now slightly tiled head to the beat.

"Biggie?!" both Emmett and I questioned at the exact same time.

Rosalie was laughing hysterically at our reactions. Jasper just bit his lip and gave us a nod, his grin growing even wider.

Emmett began spouting off the words, making gestures with his hands just like a rapper in a music video. I couldn't help it any longer, and let out a snort and a laugh, falling back against the seat. I immediately relaxed and decided to just go with it tonight, to fully immerse myself in the new me.

When we made it to the restaurant, Jasper got out, holding the door and offering me his hand to step from the limo. I safely exited the vehicle, but Jasper didn't let go of my hand, instead repositioning it so that he could intertwine his fingers with mine. I couldn't look at him, so I decided to look up at the sign to see the name of our destination. _Lupa_.

Jasper must've caught the direction of my gaze and leaned into me. "It's an Italian place. Five star," he said matter-of-factly. I gave him another shocked expression and was about to protest when he spoke again. "Don't worry, sweetheart. The owner is a friend of my Mother's. It's really no big deal," he shrugged.

"Right," I answered, still not convinced. Nevertheless, I quickly composed myself - this was not how the new Bella would act. New Bella would jump at the chance to eat at a five star restaurant. I needed to seize the opportunity, let go and enjoy myself. So I squeezed my blond date's hand and shot him a reassuring smile.

Dinner was fabulous. We were seated right away, much to the disappointment of those without connections waiting near the doorway. The boys both pulled out chairs for Rosalie and I, before taking their own seats. The menus were in Italian, and I was about to panic when the waiter came to take our orders. Jasper came to my rescue and ordered for me, also instructing the waiter to bring a bottle of champagne and their best red wine.

Jasper leaned over to me and took my hand. "Don't worry, sweetheart, you'll love what I ordered you."

"I'm not worried. I know I will," I replied as I gave his hand a light squeeze. He had obviously demonstrated how well he knew me before, so I trusted him completely. "Thank you, Jazz."

He smiled and stroked his thumb over the back of my hand.

Dinner was amazing. We talked and laughed and discussed our plans for the next day's competition and events. It was surreal to talk about riding and rodeo while in a dress and heels eating five star gnocchi, but there we were, happy in all of our contradictions. Jasper insisted on paying for everyone's meals. Emmett and I graciously thanked him, but only after trying to protest. Jasper just waved his hand and gave the waiter a shiny plastic card that was identical to the one Rosalie wielded earlier.

"I have it," he confessed. "That doesn't necessarily mean I like to flaunt it, but it does mean that I like to take care of my friends whenever I can. It's on me tonight."

The pimp-mobile was waiting outside when we emerged. We climbed inside and sat just as we did before, only this time Jasper kept my hand in his on his lap, and his other hand - the one attached to the arm that was snaked on the seat behind me - was grasping my shoulder, keeping me pressed right against his side. I wasn't sure if it was the wine I had with dinner, or if it was New Bella shining through me, but I liked the way I felt next to him. I felt safe and wanted.

I caught Emmett eyeing Jasper's hand on my shoulder from time to time. I knew my best friend would be wondering just how okay I was with this. True, Emmett had wanted me to hook up with Jasper, but that didn't mean he wanted me to be uncomfortable in any way. I silently thanked my lucky stars for my best friend's love and concern.

I suddenly didn't want this night to end. I was just starting to get in touch with New Bella. I feared if I didn't break her out now, she may never get a chance to surface again.

As if my prayers were being answered, the obscene limo stopped, but not in front of our hotel. My head shot around to look at Rosalie as I gave a questioning expression.

"What? You didn't think I'd let you get out of that dress so easily did you? The night is young, and we're certainly not done partying," she beamed.

We hopped out to velvet ropes with long lines of scantily clad people wrapping around the building. _Webster Hall_ the sign read. Posters lined the walls, declaring tonight's party theme: _Circus_.

The velvet ropes always seemed to part for Rosalie, and tonight this club was no exception.

As we entered, Rosalie kept her arm hooked onto Emmett's elbow. Jasper and I followed behind them, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I was extremely glad for the close contact because the place was absolutely packed. Wall to wall people from the bars to the dance floor.

I was in awe of the place. Never in my life had I seen anything like this. The circus theme was sure played out to it's fullest inside here, even to the point of a club remix of the Brittany Spears' song _Circus_ blaring through the speakers as we entered. There were burlesque dancers spread out on several small stages, a fire-eater, both guys and girls swinging from the ceiling on trapeze, hoops and things that looked like long silk scarves, contortionists, even some guy making balloon animals. Strobe lights were going, glitter was flying everywhere, and the atmosphere was absolutely combustible. It was crazy, fun and sexy all at the same time.

Somehow the seas of people parted - probably because Rosalie simply demanded that kind of reaction - and we found ourselves at the bar. Emmett took the initiative, ordering us all a round of shots. Alabama slammers. Wonderful.

Emmett grabbed the shots and passed them all around. When he came over to give me my glass, he leaned down to my ear so only I could hear him.

"Everything okay? With Jasper I mean?" he asked, a concerned look on his face.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, Em. I can handle myself. And I'm actually enjoying what Jazz is doing."

"Right. Didn't want to leave you hanging is all. You let me know if it's too much and I'll step in, alright?" He stepped back to appraise my reaction. I just nodded and flashed him my pearly whites. He nodded in response, then held up his shot glass.

"To a good season, and a great night," he toasted, and we all slammed back our shots in unison.

Jasper ordered and paid for everyone's next round. He had asked everyone but me what they wanted, but I knew he would pick my drink correctly. Sure enough, minutes later, a glass of Crown Royal on the rocks was in my hand. I smiled up at him, and he winked back. He turned so that his back was to the bar, leaning on it with both elbows, a toothpick dancing in his mouth.

_Oh, that mouth. Those lips. I really do need to let go and let this gorgeous man have his way with me._

My expression must have been giving my thoughts away because he smirked, then pulled me closer to him, making my back press to his front. He slid one arm around my stomach, holding me in place against him.

_God, this is so hot._

The music was slowly turning from some kind of pop, techno mix to more of a hip hop feel. I felt Jasper starting sway a little behind me, obviously getting in the groove. Rosalie had already turned to Emmett and drug him out onto the dance floor. Jasper and I watched them disappear into the crowd.

I was suddenly very nervous, now being alone with this amazing renaissance man. I tried to calm myself, but failed miserably when I felt him lean down to whisper in my ear.

"Dance with me." His smooth drawl rolled off his tongue and made me blush furiously. I felt his hot breath on my bare shoulder, and I shivered as his moist lips met my skin.

Jasper didn't wait for me to answer, although I would have been all too willing even if he had. He took my hand led me through the crowd, his head and body bouncing to the throbbing bass of Timbaland's _Bounce._

When he found a spot on the floor, he turned and abruptly pulled me up against him so close I could feel every single part of his toned body on mine. One of his legs was in between mine and I could feel how excited he was through the thin fabric of my dress. He snaked one arm around me, placing his hand dangerously low on my back. I wrapped one of my hands around his neck, letting the other fall free to my side just like his. Then he bent his knees and dipped me. I went with it, letting my upper body practically bend in half as I swayed in a little half circle before he pulled me up against him once more. When he pulled me up, my face came within an inch of his. We stared into each other's eyes and began slowly grinding to the music. I was pushed so far up on his leg that I'm sure he could feel the heat between mine on his thigh.

I brought my free hand up to meet the other around his neck, while his free hand began tracing from my wrist, to my elbow, to my shoulder, and finally down my spine. Goosebumps broke out over my entire body. Never before had I been so turned on by a man's touch, and we were still fully clothed.

The song started to change, and a remix _Icebox _by Omarion and Usher drifted from the speakers. Jasper turned me around then, pulling me to him with his hands on my hips. I reached back to him to run a hand through his hair as we swayed back and forth. One arm moved to secure itself around my stomach. The other was running up my thigh, pulling the hem of my dress up to a dangerous height, then back down the length of my leg again.

I felt him lower his lips to the point where my neck and shoulder met, then felt him place soft kisses along my skin there. My eyes closed involuntarily and I let out a moan, knowing full well that no one would be able to hear me over the blasting music. Jasper's kisses began to get more heated as he moved up my neck to the hollow spot right behind my ear. My knees started to get weak, and I felt him smile against my skin as his grip on my waist tightened so that I stayed upright. He was obviously amused my the effect he was having on me. Hell, I was way beyond amused.

I finally opened my eyes when I heard that slow, sexy voice at my ear.

"God, Bella, you are such an amazing creature. Seeing you this way - pulling off heels and a dress - and knowing you can still handle yourself on the back of a horse, it's such a fucking turn on. You have no idea how incredibly special you are, to me especially," the blond God drawled as we danced.

I smirked and turned around to face him, letting New Bella take over. "Then you better show me how special I am," I teased, cocking my head to the side.

Jasper wasted no time and started to bend down, his lips zeroing in on mine. My heart was racing. But before he could make contact, I felt his cell phone buzzing in his pocket. He paused, then pulled away with a sour look on his face.

_Damn-it. So close!_

He took one look at the caller ID and quickly flipped the phone open, pressing a finger into the opposite ear to try and hear over the music. All I could do was stare at him, dumbfounded. We had been so close, and he couldn't just ignore that phone.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Hold on, let me get somewhere…yeah, I'll call you right back…" he barked before he snapped his phone shut.

He looked down at me with a troubled look on his face that I couldn't quite decipher.

"Bella, I have to take this call. Let me get you to Emmett, then I'll run outside for a minute, but I promise I'll be back for you right away. I'm so sorry…" he began to apologize.

"It's ok, I could come out with you-" I started to offer, not wanting to leave him, but he abruptly cut me off.

"No! I mean….ugh…this is not what I intended tonight," he sighed, wiping his hand down the length of his face. "I just have to take this. In private." There was a stern edge to his voice that I was unfamiliar with. It caught me off guard.

"Oh, um, that's okay. Just go." I let out the breath I was holding and shook my head, a little perturbed at the whole situation. I had no idea what was so private or so important about this conversation, but obviously it ranked up there higher than me on his list of priorities. I should have realized that someone as in demand as Jasper Whitlock would have a lot better things on his plate than a mousy little farm girl. "I'll go to the bar and see if I can flag down Em and Rose. You go ahead, I'll find my own way to the bar," I said flatly, then turned right around and began pushing my way through the crowd.

I had actually expected him to stop me, to say that the phone call could wait, that I was more important, but those words never came. He didn't try to stop me. Instead, when I glanced back over my shoulder, he was already making his way toward the exit.

_Great. I knew this was too good to be true. What the hell could possibly be so important?_

After some unintentional pushing and shoving, I found the corner of the bar where I'd last seen Emmett and Rosalie. I scanned the crowd, but they were nowhere to be found. I turned back to the bar and pulled out my cell phone to text Emmett.

"_Em - where r u? Come get me the bar. Jazz left."_

I slid my phone shut and hoped that he would get my message before New Bella got too nervous and decided to bail out, taking all confidence with her.

A few moments later I saw my phone light up where I had placed it on the bar. I grabbed for it quickly, hoping Emmett was coming to my rescue, but, as it turns out, every time I rush I end up being klutzy. Tonight was no exception. Since as I was hastily pawing at my phone, I inadvertently knocked over the beer of the guy perched to the right of me at the bar.

"Shit!" I yelled as the poor guy's beer started to trickle away down the counter top. "Fuck, I'm so sorry! I'm so fucking clumsy…I was reaching for my phone and your beer became a casualty of my stupidity," I tried to explain as I was frantically waving down a bartender for a rag and a replacement drink.

"Don't worry about it," a smooth, velvety voice with an east coast accent came from the man beside me. I turned to find the owner of the vocal chords from heaven. He ran his hand through his messy, bronzed hair and just clamped his eyes on me.

Green…his eyes were the brightest shade of green I had ever seen. He was taller than me - which isn't hard to do - but not quite as tall as Emmett or Jasper, though his muscles were evident, even through the thin fabric of his kelly green button down shirt. The sleeves were pushed up to reveal a tattoo on the underside of his forearm - some kind of Chinese lettering, maybe.

I couldn't take my eyes away from that man. He was beautiful. I'd never classified a guy as beautiful before, but that was clearly the word that needed to be used in this case. The features of his face were chiseled, as if someone had carved him from stone, proclaiming him fit to roam around amongst us mortals. I desperately needed my thesaurus to find an appropriate adjective for this man.

Finally my brain snapped back to reality as I tried to smooth things over with statuesque man next to me.

"No, really, let me at least buy you another drink. It's the least I can do since my phone and I are just accidents waiting to happen. What were you drinking?"

"Uh, Guinness, but really, love, I don't need another beer. And you didn't need to knock over my drink just to talk to me. You could've just said hi," he smirked.

I scoffed at his obviously brass coated set of balls. This guy was a trip. He was gorgeous and he knew it. What a bad combination.

By this time, the four other guys he was at the bar with had turned to see who their friend was chatting up. They were all tall and well-muscled. They must've been on some kind of team or construction site together or something. No way was I going to let that cocky bastard get the best of me just to earn man points with his boys.

"Trust me, if I had wanted your attention, son, I would've done something a little more subtle. Maybe hump your leg or something, since I'm sure that happens to you all the time. But I'm not just some bitch in heat. I really did knock your drink over accidentally. At first I felt bad, but now I'm sure I just did the rest of the ladies in here a favor by taking away your liquid courage. Maybe some of them will be spared your brass balls routine."

His friends went crazy. "Ooohh, Eddie! Crash 'n burn, baby," one snickered. Another let out a low whistle, shaking his head and his hand back and forth. The others just laughed and slapped his shoulder.

"Eddie" just chuckled to himself and shook his head, flashing me an unforgettable smile. I bet that smile worked flawlessly on every girl he unleashed it upon. It sure was making it difficult for me to focus.

"You're a feisty one, aren't you? I like that in a woman," his smooth words flowed from his luscious lips.

"I suppose I should feel privileged, right, Eddie?" I shot back, New Bella in full force.

"You might want to consider feeling that way, yes. It's not often I meet someone who holds my attention the way you are right now."

"Well maybe you'd fare better if you didn't meet all your women in clubs and bars."

"Maybe you're right. Although I did meet you here."

"Freak accident. I don't normally frequent these social cesspools. A first actually," I admitted.

"I could tell. Your accent gave you away."

I laughed. Leave it to my southern roots to oust my actual social status here.

"So I suppose you have something derogatory to say about my southern twang?"

"No," he answered. "I think it's sexy. I might even like hearing that drawl as you scream my name."

I kept my cool and retorted without hesitation. "Well it might help if I knew what name it was that I should be screaming."

"Right," he chuckled. "My name is Edward."

"I'm Bella."

"Yes you are," he said in a low voice.

He actually extended his hand toward me in an amiable gesture, the first from him yet. I looked at it for a moment before conceding, firmly grasping his hand in mind.

"Pleasure to meet you, Bella. Now tell me, how long will you be gracing my great city with your presence?"

"I'm at the Garden for a few days, then I'm back on the road. So don't worry, I won't be desecrating your city for much longer," I said just as the bartender finally approached so I could place my order. "Give me a Guinness draft and a double shot of Crown on the rocks," I told the guy behind the bar. Seconds later, our drinks were being pushed toward me. I threw down some cash quickly, then handed Edward his beer.

"Thank you, love," he murmured as he took a sip.

I laughed and took a big gulp of my Crown, loving the sweetness in my throat, not making so much as a slight wince at the burn. He looked shocked at my ability to hold my liquor.

"What's the matter," I teased, "haven't you ever seen a girl handle the good stock before?"

He smirked again, but this time his eyes grew intense. "Never one as hot or as outspoken as you before, Bella. And you're not desecrating the city. If anything, I should be convincing you to stay. They view and depth of this city has dramatically improved now that you're in it."

I tried not to, but I couldn't help the blush that went to my cheeks.

"Next you'll be checking my dress's tag and saying I was made in heaven."

He laughed and shook his head. "No, but that's a good one. I'll have to put that into my pick up line arsenal for later use."

He paused for a minute, seeming to drink me in just as I was doing to him. There was something so attractive about this guy, other than his evident good looks. He was so straight forward, charming, and he knew it. I'm sure he could charm the pants off of a freezing man in the dead of winter.

"So what are you doing at Madison Square Garden," he continued.

I was about to answer when I felt a familiar hand tugging on my arm. I gasped and turned around. I was so deep into my conversation with Edward that I nearly forgot about Jasper's abrupt departure. The feelings of confusion and despair came flooding back when I felt that hand on me.

"Emmett!" In my bewilderment, I was never so glad to see my best friend. My best friend who just happened to be wearing a balloon animal as a hat on his head. I laughed as I threw my arms around him and he embraced me tightly. I pulled the offending animal off of his head and tossed it into the crowd.

"Hey," Emmett whined, "that was my giraffe hat!"

"Well it made you look like an ass hat, Em. A man your size should never be caught wearing balloon animals. It's emasculating."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Edward gawking wide eyed at the size of the guy holding onto me. I laughed internally. Emmett always had that effect on any guys that were interested in me.

"Bells, I got your text. Are you okay? Why did Jasper just leave you here alone?" There was worry and a hint of anger laced in his tone.

"I'm fine, Em. I don't know what Jasper's problem was. His phone went off, then he ran outside so he could hear. I made my way to the bar, trying to find you, when I met Edward, here," I said, gesturing with my hand to my new acquaintance. "Edward, this is my best friend, Emmett."

"Nice to meet you, Emmett. Your Bella here is quite a woman," Edward said as his hand was engulfed in an Emmett paw.

"Same here, Edward. And that she is. But sorry, man, we've got to get going. Seems her escort has some explaining to do," Emmett growled at the last thought. I just tugged on his arm, pulling him toward the door. "Nice drinking with you, Edward. Take care of this city for me," I smiled as I towed Emmett away.

"I will, Bella. Hope to see you around…" he trailed off as we moved farther away. I had to move. Staying there was only clouding my mind even more, making me think of running my hands through bronze hair instead of the blond they were running through just minutes earlier.

"Emmett, where's Rosalie?" I asked, suddenly aware that she wasn't with us.

"It's ok, Bells. When I got your text, she headed outside to find and bitch out her brother. He's going to get it when I see him. We specifically agreed not to let you girls out of our site tonight so that you would both be safe. Now here we are, and each of us has lost our charges at some point tonight."

I could feel Emmett's body tense near mine with his revelation. He was just as confused by Jasper's disappearance as I was. When we finally made it out of the doors, we found an agitated Rosalie waiting next to our huge limo, pacing back and forth. Her anger was radiating from her as she walked.

When we made it up to her, she stopped pacing, then tried to push away the emotions from her face without much success.

"Where is he?" Emmett and I bellowed at the same time.

Rosalie looked down at the ground for a moment before opening up the limo door.

"Not now. He's fine, but he's…he had to take care of some important things. Can we just get back to the hotel and I'll explain later, please?" Her eyes were pleading with mine and Emmett's, trying to convey the seriousness of her brother's departure. Neither of us were buying it, but we did get into the limo without any more questions. Rose, at least, didn't deserve the grilling we both had in mind.

This time during the limo ride, it was Emmett and I who sat close together, me laying my head on his shoulder and him hugging me close with both arms, trying to comfort me about my date's sudden disappearance. Leave it to Emmett to make me feel whole and loved again with simple touches and gestures; no words necessary.

We arrived at the hotel and vigorously thanked Rosalie for everything. Emmett, ever the peacekeeper, told her it would be better to talk about everything in the morning before making a beeline for our room. She quietly agreed, and waved to us from the elevator. Again, Emmett had saved the day. The night had been such a whirlwind of emotions for me, and to try and figure out Jasper's sudden mood swing and hasty departure now would have turned my brain into mush.

In my daze, I fumbled with the little white card key in the door for a minute before the little light finally decided to go from red to green. I shoved the door open and aimed for the nearest bed, and almost didn't make it as I tripped - probably on some unsuspecting dust bunny - and took a header. Thankfully I ended up landing on the bed, but I must've given Emmett the abbreviated version of my dress as it was inadvertently hiked up to the bottom of my ass cheeks. I started the night being graceful, but I was definitely ending it with my usual, uncoordinated fumbling.

I heard Emmett chuckling behind me. "Shut up," I mumbled with my face buried in a pillow.

"I didn't say anything," he recoiled.

"No, but you wanted to," I argued.

I heard him kick off his shoes and unbuckle his belt.

"Bells, would I laugh at you?"

"Absolutely."

I felt the bed sink down next to me. Emmett lifted me up and pulled me into lap. Somewhere along the line he must've lost his shirt, because I could feel is warm skin pressed against mine along my back as he held me.

"Bella," he breathed into my ear.

_What is it with the men in my life knowing exactly what erogenous zone makes me putty in their hands? Is there a bull's-eye tattooed there or something? My goosebumps have fucking goosebumps right now!_

"Honey, I wouldn't laugh at you now. I know you're upset, and I'm sorry I pushed you to go out with Jasper tonight. I don't know what crawled up his ass and made him leave, but it doesn't matter."

He held up my wrist so that both of our copper rings were visible.

"I will never leave you, not unless you tell me to. Even then I'm going to put up a fight and throw a tantrum like a little girl. Throw myself on the floor and kick and scream and everything."

I laughed at the visual of Emmett having a full on hissy fit at my feet. Improbable, but amusing.

"That's my girl," he said as he kissed my cheek. "Now, let's get you out of that gorgeous, but probably uncomfortable dress and get you into some sweatpants and order ice cream from room service."

"My thoughts exactly." My best friend always knew just how to make me feel normal again.

I started to get up, but then paused when I remembered how much trouble I had fighting with the stupid zipper on this ridiculous dress.

"Uh, hey Em? The zipper on this silly dress is a pain in the ass. Could you undo it for me?"

His breath hitched, and he hesitated.

_Shit. Maybe he really hadn't let that episode along the side of the road go like he said he did. Smart, Bella, real smart. Let's just add to the confusion and ask your best friend to take off your dress. _

My internal monologue was bashing my head against a wall, begging me to get up and struggle with it in the bathroom myself. Just as it was about to win, I felt Emmett's fingers at my back. He gently slid the fingers of one hand down into the top of my dress and clutched the fabric. He was concentrating so hard, I don't think he was breathing. I felt his other hand reach up for the tiny zipper. He delicately grasped it and began sliding it down slowly, letting his fingers lightly trail down my exposed back all the way down to my tailbone.

My breathing had sped and my eyes had closed. I wasn't supposed to feel this way with Emmett. This was wrong, or at least I had always thought it was.

I just happened to look up and into the mirror that was situated in front of the bed on one of the dressers. I could see Emmett's face. He was looking down at my exposed back, frozen with a look of tension and lust in his eyes.

_Oh, God, I can't do this right now. I can't decide this right now…_

I held onto the front of my dress and quickly pushed away from the bed. I snatched clothes out of my suitcase on the way by and headed for the bathroom, muttering, "thanks, Em."

I closed the bathroom door, leaned up against it and slid down to the cold tile. I pulled my knees to my chest and put my head in my hands, trying to sift through the wreckage that the raging whirlwind had left behind in my mind.

Emmett. Something was changing with him. Even now I had no idea if he was blurring our comfortable lines because of some twisted sense of obligation, or if he had really developed deeper feelings for me. I was in the same place with him as I was days ago - still unsure, still unwilling to rock the boat to find out his intentions. The boat that we were in was my life raft. He had always kept me afloat, kept me safe, and I couldn't yet bring myself to jump out of it and test the waters. The boat was familiar, the waters were unknown - hell, they could be shark-infested and I could get hurt. No, the boat, the S.S. Brother-Sister, would remain in tact as it had always been with both passengers, at least for right now.

I sighed and moved onto the next man migraine - Jasper. He had been so attentive, so wonderfully alive all night long. I knew if we were together that he and I would fit seamlessly. It would be easy between us. He was caring, patient, handsome, well-off, and could make me melt with his fiery touch. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man. But his swift exit without explanation tonight left me wondering if his perfect husband résumé was just a façade.

And then there was that cocky guy from the bar, Edward. I couldn't even fathom why I was thinking about an obnoxious guy I just met in some random club. Obviously I would never see him again, but I couldn't stop myself from imagining him. He had been charming, challenging and witty. Even more surprising, I had been witty and open right back, talking with him like I had known him for years, not seconds. Emmett was the only person on this earth who made me feel that relaxed, yet tonight, Edward exuded that same atmosphere. And his looks - that messy bronze hair that I just wanted to tug on, the most unusual shade of green eyes I have ever seen, his toned body and confident posture - to say that I was immediately attracted to him would be an understatement. But he and I were not to be. Even if I could track him down, he lived here. I lived two thousand miles in the opposite direction. Despite the tangible spark I felt between us, Edward would remain only a fond memory of my trip to New York City, a good story; the charming, hot guy who's drink was a target for my clumsy nature.

I sighed and finished getting ready for bed. My ratty old sweats were a welcome reprieve from my tumultuous day and gave me back a sense of normalcy. Playing dress up with fancy clothes and a new persona was draining and I craved the comfort of the familiar.

I must have been in the bathroom for a while, because when I came out, I found Emmett fast asleep under the covers on the bed. I smiled at the sight of my Emmy-bear, his soft snore emanating through the room. There would be no ice cream tonight. That was probably a good thing, considering that being awake meant awkward conversations. I wouldn't be able to handle that right now.

I climbed in bed next to him and curled myself along his muscular frame, just like always. He didn't stir. I was still unsure of what tomorrow would bring, but I knew that my normal human troubles would have to be pushed aside when I woke. Tomorrow it was time to focus, time to put on my game face and concentrate on my riding and on the win. I took a deep, cleansing breath. Within minutes, Emmett's rhythmic breathing was lulling the monologue in my head, and I drifted into a deep sleep.

**A/N: Long chapter, I know, but I didn't think that this could be split up into two scenes. In case you were wondering, I've decided to keep the story all in Bella's POV, but that also leaves me room to do some outtakes with other POV's after the main story is finished. Let me know who's POV you'd like to read and at what point in the story, and I'll keep that for future reference.**

**Edward finally makes his appearance…YEAH! We'll be hearing more from him, I promise. I also promise that Alice will come in at some point, but probably not for a while; I'm still working on that part of the plot.**

**Again, your reviews and thoughts are appreciated. Hope you're enjoying my fic!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: For some reason, this chapter was difficult to get through. There were so many directions I could have turned this story, and my decision-making skills are seriously lacking. I must have rewritten this at least six times. So, if anyone out there is interested in Beta-ing for me, or at least letting me bounce ideas off them in the future, that would be great! **

**If you're not sure about any of the rodeo terminology, wikipedia has some great information and photos about each event, or feel free to PM me and I'll explain. **

**On with chapter 5...**

I rolled over.

_Wait a minute. I shouldn't be able to roll over. There should be a six foot three inch roadblock next to me._

I kept my eyes closed and felt around the bed with my limbs. Cold. I was the only one here.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and trying to find enough balance to stay sitting up in my groggy state. I looked around and listened, but Emmett wasn't there. I spied an object that looked out of place in the middle of the room - some kind of cart maybe?

I peeled off the covers and stumbled over to the cart. It had little covered dishes on it and a single red rose in a crystal vase. There was a note propped up beside the flower.

_Hey Little Girl,_

_I caught a cab to go and feed the horses. I wanted to let you sleep. You looked so peaceful. I ordered you some room service - I know how you get in the mornings on an empty stomach. Take your time getting ready, I'll be back to pick you up around noon._

_-- Em_

I couldn't help but smile. He was so good to me.

I took the rose from the vase and inhaled it's sweet fragrance. I absently wondered if it came with the room service cart, or if Emmett had put it there deliberately.

I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Nine thirty in the morning. I really had slept in. The butt crack of dawn was my usual wake-up call and I was very glad Emmett decided to pity me and let me sleep. I definitely needed my energy, both physically and emotionally, to handle the events today would surely bring.

The extra sleep made me lighter and more buoyant. I turned on the TV and browsed through the channels until I found my favorite morning show, _Ellen. _I loved that lesbian. My favorite line of hers had to be, "there are two things I don't fool around with: men and dancing." I loved that line so much, sometimes I wished I was a lesbian just so I could use it on somebody. She's a genius. The only time I really ever got to watch her show was while I was either on the road, or home sick in bed. So, I grabbed my plates full of French toast with blueberries and OJ and settled in for some mindless laughs.

Breakfast was amazing. When I finished, I wheeled the little cart outside the door, but kept the rose and it's vase, placing it on the nightstand. Even if it wasn't from Emmett, it was still pretty.

I jumped in the shower and quickly changed into my jeans and boots, wearing a long sleeved baby blue button down top. I left it un-tucked, not feeling the need to show off my own silver belt buckle that was holding my jeans in place right now. I dried my hair and just let it down and wavy. I figured that I'd be pulling it back before riding at some point, but was happy to just let it go for now. I did apply some light makeup, though it was nothing compared to what I had scraped off from last night. Today I was more…me.

Just as I was popping in some earrings, I heard the door unlock. Emmett pushed it open, nearly dragging his feet as he walked in. He had a guilty look, and it immediately threw me off happy pedestal.

"Em? What's wrong? Are the you okay? The horses?" I started to freak out.

He put his hands up in the surrender position. "It's fine, Bella. I'm fine, the horses are okay," he assured me.

"But there's something else, I can see it written all over your face. What happened?" I was pleading with him as he took me by the hand and sat me down on the bed. He parked himself right beside me and stroked my knuckles with his fingerstips. I could see that he was struggling to find the right words.

"Just spit it out, Em," I said, just like he'd told me so many times before.

He sighed and kept his eyes on our hands. "I don't know if it's my place to tell you or not, but you know I can't keep anything from you." He hesitated, then his pained eyes found mine.

"Rosalie caught up with me this morning while I was tending to the horses," he began softly, fixing his eyes on our hands again. I wanted so badly to clench my fists in frustration, but I willed myself to keep calm and hear what Emmett had to say. I stayed quiet and focused on his expression.

"She was pretty shaken up and needed someone to talk to. So I listened. She was so upset, Bella, and it had to do with Jasper and why he left last night. She told me that the both of them were okay with you and I knowing, but I still feel bad, you know?"

"I know, Em," I tried to reassure him. I really didn't know, but I had that morbid rubberneck feeling that you get when you pass a nasty accident on the highway - you don't want to look in case you see something gruesome, but you just can't tear your eyes away.

Emmett took a deep breath.

"Turns out Rose and Jasper have another sister…a younger sister."

My jaw hit the ground, but Emmett continued without missing a beat.

"Their father was unfaithful at some point when they were very young. Their mother knows now, and has forgiven her him They agreed to never speak of his illegitimate child again. Well, somehow Jasper found out and tracked this girl down. He's been keeping contact with her for a few years, mostly by phone calls and letters. She lives here in the city and Jazz was planning on meeting her this weekend for the first time."

I sat perfectly still, listening and stunned into silence.

"When Jasper got that call last night, it was his other sister, Mary Alice. She and her friend were mugged a few blocks away and she was scared, so she called Jasper. Her mother is a real deadbeat, I guess, and she didn't know what to do, so she called him."

"Oh my God, is she all right?" I was suddenly nervous for the girl I had never met.

"Yeah, she's fine. The guy just stole their purses and ran off, but it shook her up, you know? Anyway, Jasper was sort of pissed when he got that call while he was with you. He apparently was going outside to chew out Mary Alice, but then she started crying and told him what happened. Rosalie caught up to him about then and he gave her the abbreviated version of the situation; right there on the sidewalk last night was the first time she found out that she had a baby sister. Rose told me she was so lost on how to feel right then, but she knew that the right thing to do was for Jasper to leave. So she told him she'd explain everything to us before shoving him in a cab."

Tears began to well in my eyes as Emmett met my gaze. He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head as if trying to erase some thought he was having. I had no idea what kind of internal battle was going on inside him right then, but I knew it was difficult for him. He abruptly forced his eyes open and stared hard at the ground.

"Jasper…he's a good guy, Bella. Rose told me he was embarrassed about his family's dirty little secret. He kept his relationship with Mary Alice a secret from everyone in the family. That's why he was so callous with you after she called. I guess he didn't want any press for his family about an illegitimate child, and he probably didn't want you to think less of any of them."

Emmett paused, lost in thought for a moment. I was utterly speechless.

"You know, Bells, with both of us growing up as only children, I've always thought of you as my family. If I were out on a date and you called to tell me someone had mugged you, my date would be stood up as fast as I could run for the door. All I'm saying is that I can understand what Jasper did."

I blinked for maybe the first time since Emmett began his story as I tried to process all of the information that was just thrown at me.

Jasper had rushed off to save his baby half sister. Of all the scenarios of why he would possibly storm out of the club last night that had played in my head - a girlfriend, an old girlfriend, an old girlfriend saying she was pregnant, a random girl that had promised a good lay - none of them were true. I felt wrong and demoralized for even contemplating that Jasper would be anything less than chivalrous. Obviously he would run to his sister's aide.

"I understand it, too, Em," I whispered, my eyes glistening.

I was such an idiot. I should have trusted Rosalie when she said Jasper had a good reason for leaving. He truly was a good man. Too good for me.

In my despair, I couldn't block out the little voice in my head. It was on a repeating loop, playing back the same things over and over. "_Of course he's too good for you. It was easy for him to just leave you there, sister or not. You're ordinary. Plain. That man is way out of your league."_

I leaned over and curled into Emmett's strong embrace. I'm sure he thought he was comforting me for feeling guilty about being mad at Jasper last night. In reality, I just wanted to feel…wanted. Safe. Emmett was safe. He was all I had ever known, and I was selfishly craving his endless reassurance.

Emmett's revelation about Jasper should have lifted the stress and weight from my shoulders. Instead, I felt as if I had been burdened with even more of a load to carry.

But now was not the time to wallow. I had a lifetime for that. The day was creeping on, and soon it would be time to put on my game face and get ready for the task at hand. I didn't come to New York City to think about family or guys or friends.

I came here to win a rodeo.

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The smell of alfalfa hay and freshly kiln dried pine shavings filled my nose. It was probably one of my favorite scents. If it weren't for the smell of manure, I'd want to bottle that fragrance and call it "'Ode de Rodeo". It would probably do well if it were marketed to either the young, up and coming dreamers that snuck behind the chutes to get a glimpse of the action, or the retired and reminiscent old timer that frequented the box seats. It was comforting. It was home.

I helped Emmett to get ready for his events since he was the first to go on the schedule. There was still about two hours before the rodeo started, but both of us wanted to get our horses into that big, loud arena so that they could get used to the atmosphere and the footing. Going in cold turkey hadn't worked out for us in the past, and the stakes were too high for us to take any chances.

I finished wrapping up Copper's legs in his protective bandages, then tightened down his cinch. I decided to take both of my horses into the arena with me, just in case, but I was only going to lead or pony Penny in while I rode Copper since he was going to be the one I would run in the barrel race tonight. I brought both horses out of their stalls, climbed on my gelding, and dallied my mare's lead rope around the saddle horn before heading for the main arena.

I started to feel butterflies in my stomach as I entered the alleyway. In a few hours time I would be flying through here at top speed in front of a screaming crowd. There was nothing like that feeling in the entire world.

I went into my own little zone as I long trotted around the pen. Of course, I was aware enough to nod and smile and the various familiar faces and competitors who were also working their mounts or milling around the chutes. I'd get into more conversation with them later, but right now was all about focusing on my preparation. I only worked my horses for fifteen minutes - just enough to loosen their muscles and let them have a look around.

I relaxed a bit when I started their cool down. I let my reins go slack and asked Copper to just walk along the outside of the arena at an even pace. Penny followed suit, and soon Emmett was able to catch up to us on his horse, Scarlet. He slowed to match my pace and gave me a grin - he loved this just as much as I did.

I had just noticed that Emmett was missing his second horse.

"Where's Rhett?" I asked.

"Oh. There was this young kid hanging around the chutes, Alec Voltori. Little scrappy thing. Turns out he made the trip here from Missouri, and when he pulled his horse off the trailer it came up lame. No one else needed a catch ride this go 'round, so I let him have Rhett. He took a couple of practice runs on him, and man, you should see this kid heel 'em!"

Emmett nodded toward the chutes. I immediately recognized his horse, Rhett, standing quietly with a young boy - maybe about sixteen - proudly perched in the saddle. I looked back to my best friend in adoration.

"Aw, Em," I smiled, "you're such a big softie!"

He just smiled back and even blushed a little, but the flush to his cheeks only highlighted his deep set dimples. He really was a big teddy bear.

"Yeah, well, I remember being there, and being that young. Someone gave me a break once, and I'm just passing it down the line."

"Em, you're such a good guy. I love ya for it, you know that, right?"

He chuckled. "I know, I'm utterly irresistible. It just took you longer than most women to succumb to my charms."

I rolled my eyes.

"But I love you, too, Bells…"

------------------------------------------------------

Fifteen minutes 'till show time.

I'd been hiding out in a folding near the stalls for the last half an hour now. Emmett had already taken his horses up toward the arena since the roping took up the first few events. So, I was alone with my horses and my thoughts, just the way I liked it. Anyone who knew me also knew not to disturb me in this frame of mind.

I was visualizing my runs, making silent calculations about which angle to approach each barrel, sizing up my competition, and taking slow, deep breaths. I forced out all negative or unnecessary thoughts - namely my complicated love life, or lack thereof - and focused on strategizing.

The roar of the crowd and the loud music floating down the isle way alerted me to the start of the evening.

_Deep breath. Calm. Breathe. Focus._

"First up, calf roping. Ropers please make your way to the chutes in the order of your draw," the announcer's voice boomed.

Emmett would be up soon. He drew the tenth slot, so I knew I had enough time to get behind the chutes to watch him go. I was superstitious, and would only watch Emmett's go's for two reasons. First, Emmett always told me I had luck on my side, but didn't want to share that luck with every one of his competitors, so most times I wasn't allowed to watch the other guys in his events. And second…the crowd was too much for me to handle at these bigger rodeos, and sometimes they psyched me out while I stood on the sidelines.

Handling the crowd was different when I was on a horse. Somehow I drew confidence and energy from them, and when I did, the fans made me feel alive. But when I was on the ground, small and insignificant, thousands of people watching over me…forget it.

I battled my insecurities and rose to my feet so I could go cheer on Emmett. I pulled my crisply creased straw cowboy hat down low on my head and flipped my long hair behind my shoulders as I swiftly walked toward the roar.

I took a back hallway, quietly slipped through a few doors and finally made it to the ground floor, right behind the chutes. There were cowboys and cowgirls in all shapes, sizes, makes and models either standing with their elbows and one foot up on the powder coated metal fencing intensely watching the first event, or they were flitting around like they were on some sort of mission.

There were guys lined up attaching and rosining ropes along a back fence wall, their brightly colored chaps slung over the same fence - bull riders. They were easy to spot, mostly by the cocky air that they exuded, but the lime green and silver chaps were a dead giveaway, too.

Most of the cowboys hanging around now were on horseback, talking and laughing with anyone that would stand still long enough. They were the ropers.

The bareback bronc riders were the ones that hobbled around with a tired look from the absolute abuse their chosen discipline doled out, and the saddle bronc cowboys could hang with anyone.

Steer wrestlers were also easy to identify - they were simply the biggest, burliest guys there. They had to be; the only other activity that could mimic steer wrestling was jumping out of a truck going forty miles and hour to tackle a mailbox with horns.

Emmett fell into two categories, ropers and steer wrestlers. But, when I thought about his build and his personality, not to mention his quick and talented hands, he really did belong in both places. The only other guy I knew that could go between events like that was Jasper, and he bounced between every one to get his all-around cowboy titles.

Avoiding the gaggle of tight wranglers and skoal rings, I found an inconspicuous spot against the fence where I could blend in, but still have a good view of Emmett's calf roping run. I timed my entrance perfectly, because he was just backing Scarlett into the box as I neared the fence. One of the judges connected the barrier rope and another signaled that the calf was in the chute and ready.

Emmett moved Scarlet around the box, swinging and warming up his rope as he found the perfect position in the back right corner. He had his favorite red piggin' string between his teeth, his hat pushed down low on his head, and his rope hand held up, dangling a large coil. Scarlet's eyes were wide and her muscles were trembling with anticipation Mine were nearly identical to hers; I was nervous for them both.

"Backing in the box now we have Mr. Emmett McCarty riding the AQHA mare Scarlet Splash. McCarty has to pull of a time of eight point six or under to take the lead and move up in the National standings," the announcer almost taunted.

I watched Emmett take a deep breath, then exhale…and nod his head…

_Bang!_

The metal chute swung open with a loud bang and the calf shot out of it in a straight line. Scarlet was moving even before the calf was out of the gate, but was able to keep the penalty barrier standing long enough not to cause any harm.

Emmett's rope only made two revolutions before he flicked it out in front of him. As it was landing around the calf's neck, he was already flying out of the saddle and hitting the ground running. Feeling him leaving the saddle, Scarlet did her job - slammed on the breaks and immediately backed up to put tension on the rope that was now holding the beast to her saddle horn.

He was at the calf in a flash - much faster than anyone his size should be able to run - and had it flanked and on the ground in an instant. He grabbed three legs, gave it "two wraps and a hooey" (a half hitch knot) and threw his hands in the air.

My eyes whipped to the timer on the giant jumbo-tron as Emmett quickly walked back to his horse, mounted up, and let the rope slack.

"Ladies and gentlemen, time on that run was an eight point three…we have a new leader!" The crowd went wild with the announcer's revelation and I found myself jumping up and down clapping like a giddy school girl. Emmett's smile was huge and his dimples were prominent on the close-up on the jumbo-tron. Ladies everywhere were creaming their pants right now at his trademark smile.

Somehow through it all, his eyes found mine, and his grin grew impossibly larger. He just pointed at me for a second, then touched his heart. I thought he was ridiculous for thinking that I brought him luck or whatever, but I couldn't have been happier for him.

He made his way out of the gate, dismounted, then practically ran over to me. Still holding one end of his reins, he scooped me up into a huge bear hug and swung me from side to side.

"Ugh…Em…EM!…CAN'T…BREATH!"

"Oh," he laughed and set me down, "sorry, Bells. I'm just so freakin' excited! An eight point three…can you believe it!?"

"Yes I can, you're unbelievably good with your hands you know," I teased.

"Of course I am. All ladies know that!"

I smacked his chest playfully. He picked me up again in what I thought was retaliation, but instead he kissed my cheek…lingering and breathing me in just a little too long. He set me back down softly, then moved his huge hand up to caress my cheek. His eyes bore into mine with an intensity I didn't know he possessed.

"My personal good luck charm," he mused in a deep voice. "Now go. I know you don't like to be up here with all these people. But I'm really glad you made it in time for my draw."

"I wouldn't miss your go, you know that. I've never missed one."

"I know you haven't missed one. It still makes me happy each and every time, regardless."

For some reason, I blushed. I've never blushed in front of Emmett. We'd witnessed each other in diapers for crying out loud. Nevertheless, my brain and my body seemed to be in some kind of civil war, and my face had quickly become the bloody red battle of Gettysburg.

Somehow I recovered and was able to clear my head enough to speak again.

"Well, I'll be able to stick around more for the bull-dogging since it's after the barrels. You know once my run is finished I'll be able to relax and be social again."

"That's what I figured. Hey, you better go get ready. They only have the heading and healing and then you're up. Ole' Copper will need some extra warm up time."

"Watch it, Mister," I scolded as I poked my finger into his chest. "Don't be calling my favorite horse old. He's got a lot more left in him, and at least one NFR trip."

"All right, I won't bash your precious pony. Seriously though, Bella," he said as he gripped my shoulders, "you're going to be great tonight. I believe in you. Good luck, little girl."

"Thanks, Em."

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Barrel racing. Chasing cans. The cloverleaf.

This was _my_ event, even if it was by default the only women's event offered on the rodeo circuit.

I smiled as I thought back to the very first time I ever tried barrel racing.

I must've been about seven years old. I was a scrawny little girl, sporting wild and wiry hair with bleached streaks in it from endless days in the sun.

Emmett's parents were letting me use his old horse, Cupcake, to ride around and help out with some of the chores around the ranch. Emmett had always been a big boy, and had outgrown Cupcake's small fourteen point one hand frame the summer before.

Emmett's loss was my gain. I was never happier than during the time spent on the little palomino's back.

I spent most of my time riding Cupcake in and out of the cattle pens and fields, playing gopher for the ranch hands. I would fill my saddlebags with water, or tools to mend a fence, or extra ropes, or snacks and deliver them around the spread with an awkward smile.

One day, Emmett and some of the hands were messing around in one of the corrals, talking about the upcoming rodeo. I remember riding right up to the crowd of boys and men, asking if I could go, too.

"_Billy?" I meekly called from the back of my little yellow horse._

_Hearing my voice, he and his eighteen year old son, Jacob, turned from the other men hanging around the cattle chutes to face me. _

_Father and son were nearly identical in their features. Both had long, jet black hair that was always kept in a neat ponytail at the base of their neck. They looked incredibly strong and had a natural lean muscle tone from their long days of manual labor. Their skin was the most beautiful shade of bronze, and their kind, deep set, dark eyes always reflected patience and kindness, even to a nosy seven year old._

"_Yes, Miss Bella?" Billy answered in his even, comforting voice. He and Jacob always spoke to me like I was someone important, like an adult, and I always appreciated that._

"_Um," I said in a high pitched voice, "can I go to the rodeo, too?"_

_Jacob smiled and reached up to ruffle my hair with his hand and said, "Of course, Miss Bella. But you'll have to practice really hard first, okay?"_

_I nodded my head as fast as I could in anticipation._

_Billy laughed. "Well then, I guess we'll have to teach you how to run barrels. Jake, why don't you go set up a barrel pattern over there for our little cowgirl."_

"_Sure thing, Dad," Jacob replied, and in one leap he hopped the fence to retrieve the large fifty five gallon drums that had been perched there, unused, for as long as I could remember. When he was finished, the trio of rusty metal barrels rested in a triangle formation in the corral. _

_Jacob spent the rest of the day with me, helping me memorize the cloverleaf pattern and pointing out the details of the event that my young mind could grasp. Just before sunset - I proudly galloped my first complete barrel pattern. _

_I was hooked._

As I swung into Copper's saddle to warm up for the night's run, I continued to smile at the memory of Billy and Jacob's kindness. If not for them taking time out of their day to humor a little, wide-eyed girl, I wouldn't be here today.

My smile was replaced with chagrin as I thought about Jacob. He had moved from our Midland home several years ago after Billy had passed away. Emmett and I received letters from him every so often, telling us tales of the different spreads he was working on and the new people he had met. He had been all over the southwest - Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico.

In his last letter, which arrived just before our trip to New York, Jacob announced that he was settling in southern Colorado with his new fiancé - another Native American, only from a different tribal decent - Leah Clearwater. I could tell from his words that he was beyond happy. She must have been pretty special to convince him to put down roots.

Jacob promised visit as soon as he could, and extended wedding invitations to practically everyone on the McCarty ranch. The date of the wedding was exactly one week before the start of the NFR, so assuming Emmett and I qualified, we decided to make Colorado a necessary stop along the way to Las Vegas.

Thinking about my friends and family sent me into a relaxed mood. I could feel Copper relax underneath me, too, as we made our way around the warm-up pen. The guy working the gate to the alleyway nodded to me as I past, and I nodded back. I would be the first draw in this run, and I was calm and ready.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time now for our rough riding cowgirls to show you their need for speed in the barrel racing!" The crowd roared their approval at the announcer's enthusiasm, and loud techno music began to play, riling up the fans and setting the mood even more.

"Draw number one," he continued, "is a Bella Swan riding Copper Dash, all the way from Midland, Texas…"

I sat up in the saddle, signaling to my horse that it was time. The gate swung open, and I could see down the alleyway, all the way to the huge capacity crowd. I blocked them all out. It was only me and my horse right now.

I gave copper a loud hiss and we were off. I knew he could handle the loose ground - big arenas like this that had to haul in their footing were always a little slick - so I spurred him on at top speed. If I was going to have any chance at moving up in the national standings, I needed this win, and going at the top of the draw only left me one option: go all out "balls to the wall" and pray the others couldn't catch me.

We flew through the tunnel alleyway and into the arena, headed straight for the first barrel to the left. Everything was clicking into place as Copper melted around the barrel in one fluid motion. He took the other two cans in exactly the same fashion and we turned for home.

I was leaning up in the saddle, hands forward, hair flying loose out from underneath my hat. My spurs tapped Copper's belly in rhythm with each of his strides as I pushed him for more speed. I knew we had a fantastic run.

We crossed the timer and were headed back down the alleyway to the outside world when a sudden white flash caught my eye. Copper caught it, too. Someone had dropped or thrown a white cowboy hat into the arena at my horse's feet just as we were barreling out of the arena.

Copper spooked, jumped sideways, and was headed straight for the metal gate on the way out at full speed. I yanked my reins to the left to try to keep us from hitting it. My horse missed. My knee didn't.

_Fuck…!!!_

With a loud crash, the gate bounced off of my leg as we flew past. Searing white pain ran through me. I knew it was going to be bad. Someone really needed to encase my accident prone body in bubble wrap.

I pulled Copper up, and finally got him to stop. My knee was absolutely throbbing. I looked down to find my jeans already soaking through with blood. I kicked my foot out of the stirrup, not wanting to put weight on it in case it was broken.

I looked up toward the guy who was working the gate. He was already motioning for the paramedics and radioing some rodeo officials to come and check me out. Someone was already in front of me, holding onto Copper.

"Y'all right there, Miss?"

I looked down at the young cowboy in front of me. It was Alec, the boy who had borrowed Emmett's horse.

I gritted my teeth, trying to will away the pain so I could answer. "I don't know…I don't know…I don't know if I can get down…"

"It's all right ma'am," he reassured. "The paramedics are comin' up right behind you. They'll know what to do."

Later, when my leg didn't feel like it was on fire, I would have to thank the polite boy in front of me.

I was sagged over, eyes closed and clutching my knee when two men in blue paramedic's uniforms jogged into view.

"Ma'am…do you think you can get down? We're going to have to take a look at that leg…"

That voice. I knew that voice. The slight New York accent that was dripping in deep velvet…

I opened my eyes to find a pile of messy bronze hair staring at my blood-soaked jeans. He looked up, and those amazing green eyes found my pain-stricken brown ones.

_Edward._

"Hey…you're the little black dress, from the club last night…Bella, right?" he asked in disbelief.

Teeth still clenched, I nodded and winced.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Let's get you taken care of."

Edward reached up, grasped me by my waist and carefully pulled me from the saddle. He held me up, bridal style, and started to carry me toward one of the ambulance that was parked outside.

I suddenly remembered that I'd left Alec holding Copper.

"Wait!" I squirmed around to look over Edward's shoulder. "Alec!"

Alec looked up at me and smiled. "Don't worry Miss Bella, I'll see that your horse gets untacked and back to your stalls," he promised, and tipped his hat before walking away.

I let out the breath I was holding, thankful that my horse would be taken care of properly. But just as I relaxed, a new wave of pain ran through me, and I tensed back up again.

Still in Edward's arms, we reached the ambulance. His partner, who I could see from his patch on his uniform was named Mike, opened the back doors and helped us inside. I was gently set down on the gurney as the two men immediately went to work. Mike was rummaging through supplies while Edward began to assault me with medical questions.

"Bella, do you have any allergies, medical conditions, or are you taking any medications right now?" He had such a serious and concerned look on his face as he asked, it was much different from when I saw him last night.

"Um, I'm allergic to the antibiotic Bactrim, nothing else I'm aware of. I'm a diabetic, but I can control it with my diet and I don't take insulin or meds for it. And the only medication I'm taking is my birth control," I rattled off.

"Wow. Sounds like you've been asked those questions more than once."

"Yeah. This sport isn't exactly childproof. Plus I'm so clumsy that it's almost a handicap."

Edward chuckled, grabbing the scissors Mike handed to him.

All three of us stared at my now half crimson jeans. Mike held my leg still while Edward began to cut the jeans apart, leaving my bloody leg bare and exposed. Both of the guys in front of me grimaced at the huge gash in my leg, and I could tell that it was beginning to swell already. They traded places - Edward held onto my leg while Mike began irrigating the wound with saline.

_Thank God I shaved my legs this morning. Guess that's why my Grandmother told me to always wear a pair of clean underwear. Either that or she just wanted to be ready for sex twenty four/seven._

_Ew. Stop it. Stop it right now._

I looked up at Edward, trying to get the mental picture of my Granny in lace panties out of my head. He looked puzzled.

"What were you thinking just now? Your face was clearly showing your pain before, but just now you had different expression on your face."

_Oh shit._

"Uh," I hesitated, but the filter between my mouth and my brain was for some reason disabled.

"I was thinking that I was glad I took my Grandmother's advice. She told me to always wear nice clean underwear. I never understood until now," I admitted as I stared at the jeans that were cut up to the top of my thigh. " And then…I couldn't keep the visual of my Granny in La Perla out of my head."

Mike and Edward stopped what they were doing and burst out laughing simultaneously.

_Damn my non-existent filer._

Edward eventually caught his breath enough to speak again.

"You know, usually I can read people exceptionally well. But I would never have guessed that you were thinking about your Granny in sexy panties."

This goofy, crooked grin spread across his face and his eyes seemed to dance as he stared at me. He was mesmerizing. The pain in my knee instantly lessened whenever I looked at him. And his cool touch was almost extinguishing the fiery soreness in my leg.

I was nearly lost in the green seas of Edward's eyes when Mike broke into my concentration.

"Well ma'am, you're definitely going to need a trip to the hospital for stitches, and by the way your knee is swelling already, they'll probably want to take some x-rays to make sure there's nothing else damaged internally. We'll give you a little local anesthetic so you're not in too much pain until we can get you there."

I nodded my head.

"Is there anyone we should call or get for you? To tell them where you're going I mean," Edward asked.

Just as the words left his mouth, three familiar figures bounded into view.

"Oh my God, Bella, are you ok? Shit, there's a lot of blood," Rosalie gushed.

She was radiant, probably ditching an interview to be here. Both Emmett and Jasper were right behind her; their eyes were frantically searching my body for other injuries. They looked scared stiff - muscles tensed, sporting identical helpless looks on their faces.

"I'm fine, guys. It hurts like a bitch, but like Emmett always says, it's a long way from my heart. I'll live," I tried to reassure them. Rosalie relaxed a bit, but Jasper and Emmett did not.

Edward turned towards my friends to explain. "She's definitely going to need a trip to the ER for stitches and x-rays. They'll be able to tell her more there, but I can see she's tough, so I think she'll be fine," he said the last part as he turned to me with that crooked smile again.

Of course I'll be fine. Especially if he keeps looking at me like that.

"Hey…you're that guy from the club last night," Emmett observed.

"Yeah, Edward. And you're Emmett, right?"

I was impressed that he remembered. By the look on Emmett's face, so was he.

"Yeah, that's right. I'd probably say it's good to see you again if it were under better circumstances," Emmett conceded.

Edward just chuckled and nodded as he and Mike finished fastening a splint to my leg. Jasper's expression turned from lost, to agitation. He had apparently just realized that I met Edward after his hasty departure from the club.

"Okay. So can we ride with her or do we need to meet her there?" Jasper asked in a somewhat biting tone. I cut in before Edward or Mike could answer.

"No way guys, you are not skipping your events just to come with me. I'll be fine. I'll take a cab back to the hotel after I'm patched back up."

Jasper leaned forward and grabbed one of my hands, and Emmett took the other. Their touch was soothing, but I knew they had to get back to the rodeo.

"Bella-" Jasper started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Jazz, forget it. You did not come across the country to scratch your events. You will stay here, compete, and forget about me. That goes for you, too, Em." I gave both of them pointed looks before continuing. "The important thing is qualifying, and you can't qualify if you scratch."

"No, Bella," Emmett said sternly. "The important thing is you. We can't just leave you alone, especially in this city."

Edward looked back and forth between my friends and I before he spoke.

"Look guys, my shift here is about done. If it's alright with you, I can stay with Bella at the hospital until one of you can come and get her. I'll give you my cell number, and I promise I won't let her leave the building until one of you are there to escort her out. How does that sound?"

I took Edward's lead and jumped in to plead with them.

"See, I won't be alone. And Emmett, your last event is coming up soon, before Jasper's, so you can just come and get me when you're done. I'm sure Alec will take care of the horses if you ask him. Rose and Jazz, I know you two need to stay later, so I can just see you back at the hotel. I _definitely_ want to speak with you _both_ later. Until then, I will be fine, guys, I promise."

Emmett was shaking his head throughout my little speech, and I could see Jasper clenching his fist behind his back. But Rosalie came to my rescue.

"She's right guys. You both need to get back in there, and so do I. Come on, it's not like we didn't know that this shit was dangerous. Bella's a big girl now. So let her go, and we'll meet up with her later," she said in her authoritative tone. No one dared defy Rosalie when she set her mind to something, and I could see the guys' resolve falter.

She grabbed each of them by the arm and started to pull them away, her dressy boot heels clanking against the pavement.

Emmett abruptly decided to stop. He was simply too big to budge unless he was willing. He just looked at me with a hurt appearance.

"Are you sure, Bells?" His voice was soft and pleading. I knew he only wanted to keep me safe, but he needed to stay whether he would admit it or not.

"Yes, I'm positive. Now get in there and bring me home a go 'round check!"

He pointed his finger directly at Edward and gave him a stern look. "You better take care of her, man. That girl is everything to us, and we will hunt you down if she's hurt any further."

_Sweet, but such a caveman._

Edward raised his right hand. "I swear I will keep her safe," he promised. And the way he said it made me truly believe it without question.

"I'll see you later guys," I said as I waved.

"Get better, Bella," Rosalie yelled as she continued to drag the boys back inside. Jasper didn't say anything else, but I could tell that he wasn't happy about anything in this situation.

Mike jumped down from the rear entrance to the ambulance and shut the doors from the outside. He drove while Edward rode with me in the back.

"Promise me you won't use the sirens, ok? I don't think I could handle the embarrassment," I pleaded.

"I promise," Mike laughed from the driver's seat.

As we made out way onto the street, I suddenly felt vulnerable and alone. I had made it this long, and in pain to boot, without crying, but I could feel the tears beginning to form in my eyes. Edward must have noticed them, too.

He softly took my hand in both of his. As soon as he touched me I could feel my fears start to dissipate like magic.

_How the hell can this guy I don't even know have this kind of effect on me?_

"Bella, it's okay. I know it hurts and I know you're scared. I really meant it when I promised to keep you safe," he almost whispered.

"I know. And I believe you. I don't know why. I mean, I barely know you, I have no reason to trust you. But I do. Does that make me crazy?"

"No. If it means your crazy, then so am I," he replied.

"Okay." I nervously looked down at my lap. "Can you do something else for me though?"

"Anything." With that admission, my eyes found his. He wasn't lying - his eyes were veritable pools of deep green truth. He really would do anything for me. I had no idea why. I just knew he would.

"Don't let go of me," I pleaded.

We both stared at our intertwined fingers. His touch was keeping my tears at bay. At that moment, I didn't feel alone.

**A/N: Hope I didn't lose anybody with all the rodeo terminology. **

**Love all the reviews, thanks again! Next chapter will be on it's way shortly!**


	6. Chapter 6

The ride in the ambulance wasn't as torturous as it had been in the past. The last time I was in one…I couldn't allow myself to think about that now. Even with my accident prone nature, I always made someone drive me to the hospital in a familiar vehicle.

Surprisingly, Edward was the one thing that prevented me from having a major meltdown. He kept his promise and stayed right next to me, keeping my hand in his as much as he possibly could.

If it were Emmett or Jasper in here with me, I surely would have caved in to my emotions. They were just too close to my grief. The sight of them in this swaying medical box on wheels would have opened too many old wounds.

Several questions kept floating through my head.

_Why is it different with Edward? How can I be here of all places and not want to kick the doors open to run screaming down the street? And what does that mean? _

Edward just smiled and kept me talking about mundane things, asking if I had a good time at the club last night, if I had a chance to try this restaurant or that bar, and what I thought about "his city" as he put it. Somehow he just knew not to talk about my friends or family. He didn't ask where I was from and he never mentioned horses or rodeo. His intuition fascinated me to no end.

The large, rocking ambulance hit a pothole and I winced as the jarring motion sent waves of pain up and down my bloody leg. Edward just gripped my hand a little tighter, but never missed a beat and kept right on talking.

"Of course, I know every inch of this city," he boasted. "Born and raised in Queens. Plus with my job you sort of have to know your way around."

"I guess you do need to know where you're going so you can get the ambulance there as quickly as possible."

"Well yeah, that, too. But I guess I didn't mention it before, huh? I start talking with you and I forget that we really don't know each other. This paramedic thing is a side gig for me. I mean, I am licensed and everything, but my main job is with the FDNY," he stated indifferently.

"You're a firefighter? Here, for the city?"

He coolly nodded his head; and I couldn't just let it go. "Wow, how can you say something like that and just brush it off?"

He gave a small smile as he answered. "It's just what I do. Most of the people in my family have been some kind of civil servant. My Dad was a firefighter for twenty five years, as was his father before him. Mom actually came from a house full of cops - her, her Father and all three of her brothers were NYPD. It was pretty intimidating for Pop when he started dating her. My sister was a paramedic until she finished with her nursing degree - she's the one that hooked me up with this gig. And my brother just made detective."

By the end of his family history he was absolutely beaming from ear to ear. He was proud of his heritage and clearly loved living in this city. I was always under the misconception that city slickers were rude, self righteous and had a love affair with their cell phones and laptops. The man sitting beside was far from the stereotype I had imagined.

Well, that wasn't totally accurate. He _was_ cocky at the club. Then again, he had been surrounded by his buddies. I doubt that any guy would have acted differently in such a testosterone-filled environment. Not to mention he was downright gorgeous and probably knew it.

"You look like you're very proud of your family," I noted.

"I am."

I felt the rocking behemoth beneath us lurch to a stop. Mike got out and made his way around to the back to open the doors. Edward slowly let go of my grasp, then jumped down to help lift out my gurney.

As soon as he let go of my hand, my pulse started to quicken. Then my breathing became erratic as I spied the entrance to the emergency room. I closed my eyes and tried to will away the flashbacks threatening to shake loose.

"What do you got?" a deep, older voice asked.

Mike replied, "Twenty two year old female with a deep laceration and swelling on her right knee. She's a diabetic, but doesn't take meds or insulin. Allergic to Bactrim. BP…" he rattled off more of my vitals.

I opened my eyes. Two nurses were now helping to wheel me down the hall and into a small curtained area, followed by a slightly graying, albeit extremely handsome doctor.

_What is it with these people? Is there something in the water that makes them all that good-looking, or is it my blood loss talking?_

"Miss, I'm Dr. Carlisle and I'll be taking care of you today," he said with a New England accent that screamed of wealth and beauty. His blond/gray hair, stunning pale features and warm smile made him look like he played a doctor on TV instead of possessing the appropriate medical degrees needed to be probing at the gash on my knee the way he was. But his touch was gentle and sure, and he immediately put me at ease with his confidence.

"I see you've met Edward," he commented as he nodded in the direction of my bronze-haired escort.

"Y-yes. He's been great," I stammered.

Just then Mike motioned to Edward. "Come on, man. Let's get out of the Doc's way."

My eyes grew wide with fear. I suddenly remembered that Edward wasn't touching me. My hand darted for his, and I silently begged him to stay with a frightened expression on my face.

Edward's own face was full of understanding. His green eyes pricked when he saw my fear and he latched onto my hand before answering Mike.

"Why don't you go ahead Mike. Grab one of the nurses, I'm sure they could do a ride-along with you until your shift is over. I'd really like to stay here with Bella. I mean, if that's okay with you, Dr. Carlisle?"

The doctor looked back and forth between us both. "Sure Edward. You're a good kid, and I've known your family for a long time, now. I can see that this young lady would like you to stay, so it's fine by me. Nurse Jessica, why don't you prep Miss Swan here for her x-rays. Page me when they're back."

Edward turned toward his partner. Mike just nodded in understanding and walked away.

"Thank you," I whispered. "I just…I just can't be alone in here, in this place. But I can't be with my friends here either. I can't…" I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes.

"Shh, Bella it's okay. I made a promise. I don't take those lightly."

Edward wiped away my tears as the nurses finished prepping me to be transported for x-rays. He only left briefly so nurse Jessica could help me change into one of those skimpy hospital gowns.

With one of the other nurses, we made out way to radiology. By that time I had calmed down somewhat, until the radiologist spoke to me.

"Please remove any and all metal," she ordered.

I froze. The only metal that was left on my body was my copper ring. Tears came again as I removed it from my pinkie. I handed it to Edward.

"P-please," I sniffled, "keep this safe for me?"

He fisted it in his palm without a word, then stepped behind a wall so that he would be out of reach of the radiation.

_No ring. No Edward to hold on to. Fuck! This lady better hurry before I completely lose my sanity._

My tears didn't stop, but they were thankfully silent in the soft light of the radiology room. When they were finished with the x-rays, the nurses disappeared to develop them just as Edward came out from behind the protective wall, stretching out his hand to give me back my ring. I grabbed it as fast as I could, shoved it onto my finger and sighed as it fell back into place.

Edward stared at my ring as he took my hand in his. He had an almost apologetic look about him as he said what I knew was coming.

"This ring is important to you."

I nodded and held my breath.

"Why?"

The gust of air I had been holding escaped my mouth. Before I could stop myself, I let go and shared my darkest day with the beautiful stranger next to me.

"Emmett gave it to me. He wears one just like it. He said it was to remember them - my parents."

Alone in that stark room, I began sobbing out my story. To his credit, Edward kept my hand in his and held me with his other arm, listening intently as if I was sharing the secret of life itself. Only this wasn't the secret to _life_ at all.

"We all lived and worked together on Emmett's family ranch in Texas. I've lived there all my life."

"When I was sixteen I begged my parents to buy me a top barrel horse. I was really into high school rodeo and all I wanted was to win and win big. I was so selfish. But they loved me and scraped enough money together to buy me this fantastic horse. He was six years old and just coming out of his extremely successful futurity season - running barrels against top four and five year olds for an insane amount of prize money."

"We had to go to Oklahoma to pick him up. We were on our way home, but it was late at night and really dark and this really bad storm had blown in, there was even talk on the radio about tornadoes in the area..."

I started to cry even harder, knowing what was coming.

"W-we…we didn't even see the tractor trailer overturned. All I remember hearing were the brakes squealing and my Mom screaming…"

Edward pulled me closer and I buried my head in his blue uniform shirt.

"They had to cut me out of the truck, it was so twisted. I was conscious the whole time. My Dad never moved, but my Mom was moaning…for a while. I didn't understand at first why they weren't working either of them, why they weren't trying to save them…"

"When they pulled me out, I could see the trailer, detached from the truck in a ditch on the other side of the road. It was turned on it's side and I could hear my new horse thrashing around inside it."

"The ride in the ambulance and that night in the hospital…I just kept asking where my parents were, and why nobody was here with me. None of the doctors or nurses would tell me anything. I didn't even know if they had to put the horse down, or if anyone was ever coming for me. I was so alone…"

I gripped Edward tighter and he returned my grasp. I'd never gone to this horrible place with anyone before, not even Emmett. I don't know why I opened up now, but I couldn't stop.

"Emmett and Jasper were there early in the morning. They burst through my door and hugged and kissed me, and I could tell that they had been crying by their bloodshot eyes. They were the ones to tell me that my parents were dead. I knew, but they were the first to tell me out loud."

"Jasper told me that the ranch hands were taking care of my horse. He was so badly injured that it took over a year for all of his wounds to heal, and another six months of intense and expensive therapy for me to be able to ride him. But he made it back. He's the horse I was riding today, Copper."

Edward took a deep breath. "What about you?" he asked.

"I…I had a concussion, a broken collar bone, a broken femur and lots of bruises and stitches all over my body. Rosalie flew in a few days later and between her, Jasper and Emmett, one of them stayed by my side twenty four/seven."

"They must care for you a lot," he observed.

"Yeah. I couldn't ask for better friends." Thinking of them, my sobbing slowed. They were my oasis in a very desolate place, much like Edward was now.

"And what about this ring," he said, holding up my hand.

"Emmett tracked down the wrecked truck after I got out of the hospital. He tore out some of the copper wiring and borrowed our blacksmith's forge to melt and shape it into our rings. He told me it was so I would never forget my parents and how much they loved me, and he wears one so that I'll never forget his promise to be there for me, to stay with me for as long as I need him. And that's also why I named my horse Copper."

Edward sighed and released his grip on me. He looked down at me and wiped my tear-stained cheeks.

"I've never told anyone the whole story before, not even Emmett," I admitted.

I didn't know why I chose to tell Edward. I didn't know him, not really. Maybe that was it. He was outside my world. I might not ever see him again. It was safe to tell him this story because even if I saw that dreaded look of pity in his face, I would be leaving this city soon and wouldn't have to look at it for long.

But when he looked into my eyes, I didn't see pity. Only admiration.

"You are an amazing woman, Bella. You've been through more than I ever have, and you came out of it a strong, wonderful person. I can see why your friends love you so much."

Then he brought his hands up to cup my face, and bent his head forward. I searched his soulful green eyes as he searched mine, both seeking the permission we were so desperate to find. I needed this, he wanted this, and that was okay with me.

I closed my eyes as his lips brushed against mine, soft and slow, taking my bottom lip between his. It was warm and silky, and both of us were taking shallow breaths through our noses. My heart was thrumming in my chest as his thumbs gently caressed my cheeks.

He lingered against my lips enough for me to savor his sweet taste - like mint and sugar. He didn't deepen the kiss, just slowly pulled away to again look into my eyes.

"Bella," he whispered.

In that silent moment, I could hear nurse Jessica's shoes squeaking their way down the linoleum hallway. Edward dropped his hands and stepped backwards, still not breaking his stare. I opened my mouth to speak, but never got the chance.

"Well Miss Swan, the doctor is reading your x-rays right now, so let's get you back to your bed, okay?" She had a nasal voice that irritated me just as much as her squeaky shoes. Or maybe it was just the fact that she had interrupted a perfectly good intimate moment with my hot almost stranger. Either way, she wasn't high on my list.

I let it go and the two of them helped me back to my original curtain area in the emergency room. Thankfully, Dr. Carlisle didn't keep me waiting long.

"Well Miss Swan," the doctor began in a smooth tone, "it looks like you're very lucky."

He held up the films to the mounted light on the wall and began pointing.

"Looks like your knee is fine, internally that is. Externally it's a little gory. I don't see any major damage on the x-rays, so I think we'll just stitch you up and give you something for the pain."

"Gory. Is that a technical term, Doc?" I couldn't resist asking.

Both Dr. Carlisle and Edward laughed at my little joke, both of them looking relieved that I seemed to be feeling better.

And I was feeling better. Finally getting my story and pent up emotions out of my system left me feeling free and happy, at least for the moment. So I decided to revel in my delight while it lasted.

The doctor composed himself and then continued with his instructions.

"Okay, we'll stitch you up right away. Then I want you to keep this leg elevated, keep it iced and stay off of it for a few days," he said as he was scribbling on my chart.

"Um, Dr. Carlisle?" I put on my best pouting face. "Is there any way I can ride tomorrow? I really need to make a good run so I have a chance to qualify for this really big show in Las Vegas," I pleaded.

Edward shot me a hard look. "You can't be serious."

"Of course I'm serious. I need to stay up there in the national standings. I can't do that and make it to Vegas if I don't run. That's what brought be across the country, you know."

Dr. Carlisle sighed and Edward huffed. "I don't think it's a good idea, Miss Swan," the good doctor chided. "But I can see that you'll probably do it anyway. So I'm going to tell you that your best bet to not pop the stitches open is to keep your knee wrapped, both over and under your pants. You're not to ride at all until the last possible second, and you must have someone help get you in and out of the saddle. That's my final offer," he said as he extended his hand.

I eyed his hand for a moment before grasping it with my own and sealing the deal with a shake. Edward just shook his head in defeat.

Being sewn back together didn't necessarily hurt, but the pulling sensation on my skin felt awkward. My favorite almost stranger held my hand again and sat with me until I was stitched, wrapped and nearly ready to leave.

"Hey, I overheard you say that you were leaving in a few days," Edward began.

"Yeah," I said reluctantly. "We have another go 'round tomorrow, then we'll be leaving Monday night. Emmett wants to wait until the traffic clears, and neither of us mind driving in the dark, so we probably won't go until after seven."

"Oh…oh." His face fell.

Then reality hit me.

I was leaving in two days. I didn't know when I would be back. Maybe next year? I couldn't even guarantee that much. How is it that I just spilled my guts and shared such a connection with a guy when we live such different lives. We were polar opposites. And yet, I was truly sad that I might never see him again. This whole "normal" thing he had going was so refreshing. I only wished I could get to know him more.

He seemed to be feeling the same way.

"Listen, I know this is, well, I guess I don't know what this is. I do know that I don't want it to end. But your friend is probably going to be here any minute to take you away from me forever, and I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't at least try to see you again. So here."

He handed me a little white business card with his department's station and his cell phone number printed in bold red ink, along with his name scrolled along the top. "Edward M. Cullen." People really did hand out their business cards like candy here, just like in the movies. I kept my giggle to an internal one.

"You can reach me at that number pretty much any time, unless I'm actually in a burning building," he chuckled. "But if you want to do something a little different, you can meet me in Central Park at the baseball field tomorrow at ten A.M."

The words just rolled off his tongue and before I could answer, my eyes caught a very dirty Emmett jogging down the hall toward me. He must've come straight from the rodeo after sliding in the dirt wrestling a steer and didn't bother to change.

Edward quietly let go of my hand and stood up from his chair. I looked back and forth between him and Emmett. They couldn't have been less alike. Where Emmett was large, muscled with a commandingly rugged look, Edward was leaner, still toned but had that pretty boy grace and charm.

"Bella! Bella, what did they say? Are you alright? Can you walk? Oh God, Bells, I couldn't concentrate knowing that you were here without me," Emmett said so quickly that it made my head spin.

"Em, calm down. I'm fine. Nothing broken, just cut and bruised. Seventeen stitches in my knee, but really I'm good. I even convinced the Doc that I could ride tomorrow."

Emmett threw his arms around me in a tight hug. "I was so worried about you, Bells. I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I'd do if you ever really got hurt. I shouldn't have let you go without me."

"Don't be silly, Em. Edward kept his promise and stayed with me the whole time. He was really great," I smiled and nodded toward Edward.

"Hey man, thanks for sticking around for her," Emmett said graciously as he offered his hand in thanks to Edward. They clasped their hands together and smiled.

"It was my pleasure. Bella was very brave today."

I blushed.

Edward continued. "I really do have to get going, though. I'm on call tonight. But it was really great to see you again, Bella. You too, Emmett. Stay out of trouble and out of the ER for me, okay?"

I nodded. "Edward, really…thank you," I said with as much meaning as I could muster. He needed to know how grateful I truly was. But with Emmett so close, I just couldn't bring myself to say everything.

He smiled his crooked smile, nodded, then turned and walked away.

-------------------------------------------------------------

After a stack of paperwork in the ER we were finally back at the hotel, and I was beginning to get drowsy. The events of the day and the pain killers were catching up with me. The scrubs the hospital had given me weren't very comfortable, and I was dying to get into some shorts and a tank top.

I stepped into the bathroom and gingerly changed while Emmett was on the phone ordering some room service. I was almost glad to be away from him for a few minutes. I know he was just concerned about me, but him constantly asking if I was okay was getting a little annoying.

I was just exiting the bathroom when something dawned on me…I had completed my run, and Emmett finished his last event, but I had no idea where we placed for the day.

I hobbled over to sit on the bed.

"Em, in all the excitement I forgot to ask. How did we end up today?"

A slow smile spread across his face.

"I ended up third in the bulldogging, so at least that'll keep me in the hunt. You on the other hand," he hesitated, making me bounce in my seat with anticipation. But his toothy grin gave him away. "You won it, Bells! You bested them by a tenth of a second!"

"Yes!" I yelled and threw my hands in the air. Emmett was jumping up and down like a little girl and layer of brown dust from his dirty clothes clouded the air around him.

"You better go change, Emmy-bear. You're dropping half of the arena dirt on the carpet," I laughed.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "I'll go grab a shower. But here." He tossed his cell phone beside me on the bed. "You better give Rose and Jazz a call. They ought to be finished up by now, and if they're anything like me, they'll be going crazy to find out if you're okay."

I flipped the phone open and scrolled through the contacts until I found Jasper's number, then hit send. It only rang one time before he answered.

"Emmett…how is she? Where are you?" His voice was rough and strained.

"Calm down, Jazz, it's me, and I'm fine. We're already back at the hotel."

"I'm almost there," he said in the same dark tone, and hung up.

About sixty seconds later there was a knock on my door.

_Jesus, he must've run the entire way through the lobby and up the stairs._

I hobbled to the door and swung it open to find an out of breath Jasper clutching the door frame, still disheveled and dirty just as Emmett had been. He really had run the whole way to my room.

His breath caught and his jaw dropped as he took a long look over my entire body. I wasn't sure if his reaction was from my swollen and bandaged leg, the amount of exposed skin in my shorts and tank top, or the scars from the accident six years ago that were visible on my skin. Just as I was beginning to feel self conscious he blinked, then his eyes found mine.

In that same deep voice he asked, "are you okay?" His face was dripping with concern as his eyes bored into mine.

"I'm fine, Jazz. No major damage, just stitches and swelling," I meekly replied, still in shock over his demeanor.

He closed the distance between us in one step and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. He buried his face in my hair and finally exhaled. He was physically trembling, so I hugged him back, trying to reassure him that I was indeed alright.

"Jazz, please…you're scaring me. Get in here and I'll show you, it's nothing," I pleaded as I let my arms fall. I motioned for him to enter and he finally walked forward into the hotel room, but didn't look at my face.

Once he was inside, I started limping toward the bed to sit down. From the corner of my eye I could see a horrified look wash over him.

"Shit, Bella, I'm so sorry! I should have helped you, not just rushed through the door. Here," he said as he put an arm around me for support and helped me to the bed.

He took a seat in the chair directly across from me. Immediately he slouched down and put his head in his hands. This was a far cry from the cool and collected man that I had been with in the back of the limo. This man looked torn and about to implode.

"Jasper, talk to me. What's wrong?" I couldn't stand to see him that way.

He sighed and ran his hands through his blond locks. "First of all, I need to apologize for last night. I never should have run out on you like that. I left you alone in a crowded club in New York City for Christ's sake. Something could have happened to you, someone could have hurt you right there and it would have been my fault for being a fucking self-absorbed jackass. I should have just told you about Mary Alice. You shouldn't have had to find out from someone else."

"And when I saw you in the back of that ambulance today…" he shook his head and sighed again. "I should have went with you. I was so selfish for staying and competing. It didn't do me any good anyway - I missed every loop I threw in the roping and got bucked off of everything I sat on. I couldn't concentrate because I knew you were in pain in some hospital and I hadn't even had a chance to explain my actions to you, or to beg your forgiveness. I'm such a fucking ass for the way I handled things."

His anger at himself was evident. I could feel his anxiety coming off of him in waves. I had never seen Jasper act this way before, even on the day of my parent's death - sure he was sorrowful and supportive, and kept a level head to help me through everything. But right now he thought he was at fault, and it didn't sit well with him.

"Jasper Whitlock, look at me right now," I commanded. His head slowly rose and his glistening eyes met mine. "This is not your fault. And I'm not angry with you. I understand your reasons behind wanting to keep your younger sister's appearance under wraps. I made it out of the club just fine - I called Emmett when I couldn't find him at the bar and he came and got me. And you know how accident prone I am, so the hospital thing was no big deal. I'm good, okay? No harm, no foul."

"Bella, it's not good. I acted like an ass and I'm so pissed at myself for not being better for you. I've never kept anything from you, except my sister," he said with a guilty tone.

"And that's okay, Jazz. It's nothing. I forgive you, honest."

He shook his head and looked at the ground. "You're such a good person, Bella. I don't deserve you," he mumbled, and I wasn't sure if I was meant to catch that or not.

Just then Emmett came out of the bathroom in loose fitting jeans and shirtless, his hair still dripping wet. He looked incredibly good, showing off the bulked up muscles in his arms and his washboard stomach.

Jasper stood from his chair and put on a smile for Emmett. I could tell that it was forced, but Emmett didn't seem to notice.

"So, you two kiss and make up or what?" Emmett asked with a sarcastic tone and a grin.

I let a small laugh escape me. "Yeah, Em. We're all good now."

"Yeah," Jasper agreed, "we're good."

"Good," Emmett repeated.

A knock on the door from room service snapped us out of our little "good" obsession. As Emmett was pulling the cart inside, Jasper announced his early morning and quickly said his goodbyes. He said he'd call to check on me in the morning, and then promised to be there before my run to help out. I had to reassure him that I was okay twice more before he actually left.

Emmett and I feasted on prime rib and baked potatoes that he had delivered, saying that despite my trip to the ER we needed to celebrate our wins. I agreed wholeheartedly, needing a break from all the emotion that laced me throughout the day. Being normal with him and downing some much needed pain killers was exactly what I had in mind for the night.

I woke in the morning to Emmett readjusting the pillows underneath my leg and changing the icepack that was wrapped to my knee. I rubbed my eyes then squinted at him.

"What are you doing," I mumbled.

"Fixing you up before I head to the arena. I want to get an early start so I have time to work Copper and Penny for you."

"Mmm, thanks Em. But I can take care of my ice and my leg," I muttered again, not quite able to form the right sentence through my sleepy haze.

"I know you can, Bells, but I like taking care of you," he smiled, showing his deep dimples.

At first, smiled back at the thought. But then something else crept into my head. Resentment.

_Am I so helpless that I need to be taken care of?_

I tried not to think, but all of these negative thoughts seeped into my brain. Everything I was avoiding yesterday was coming back to haunt me.

Emmett kissed my cheek said goodbye before leaving me to my thoughts.

It all came back on me now. My feelings for Emmett, my hope for Jasper. I had wanted them both to be with me in some form for long, and now everything was getting mixed up. My friends were both a perfect fit for me in their own way. But the question was, did I really want perfect right now? Could I handle the pressure of being perfect for someone?

I couldn't answer that.

Before anything else could find it's way into my mind, I knew what I needed to do. I ripped off the covers and crawled to the nightstand. I grabbed the tiny phone from it's charger and began dialing.

I didn't know if this new idea was a good one or not, but I did know that I needed to do it. I needed to escape. I didn't want perfect right now. I wanted the opposite.

_Ring…ring…_

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Bella. I need to see you…"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed or has read the story thus far, you have no idea what it means to me! Special thanks to those of you who have helped me with my uncertainty in certain aspects of the story…you know who you are! ****J**

**I updated my profile, and you can find a link for the song and lyrics that inspired the idea for this fanfic…Notion by Kings of Leon.**

**I may add a little play list to certain parts of the story from here on in. So if you see an A/N in bold in the middle of the story with a song title and artist, I'd suggest listening to that song while you're reading that section, mostly because it will have been a song that I was listening to while writing it, and it will help you feel the emotions of that section. I won't always add them, only when I think it may help the mood a bit.**

**Alright, on with the chapter 7...**

_Ring…ring…_

"Hello?"

"Hi. It's Bella. I need to see you…"

"Are you okay? What the fuck is going on?"

"I'm fine, I just…I just need someone to talk to. Can you come over here?"

"Um, well, I'm kind of in the middle of something. I'm here with my sister."

"Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about it-" I tried to say, but she cut me off.

"Fuck it. If you don't mind her coming with me, we'll be up in five minutes. Guess you need to meet her anyway, so we'll kill two birds with one stone."

I couldn't argue with Rosalie's logic. I really was interested in meeting her sister, plus I desperately needed another woman's take on some things. All the testosterone in my life was starting to freak me out.

"I'd love to meet your sister, Rose. Bring her up. Just do me a favor and don't say anything about this to the boys. I need some girl time."

"Got it. See you in five."

Exactly four and a half minutes later there was a loud pounding on my door. I hurried over as much as I could with my injury and swung it open, relieved to let estrogen into the room. Long, tall and blond Rosalie stood there in a pair of low rise skinny jeans, red heels and a white button down shirt - the epitome of prep.

The girl next to her was the exact opposite. Her frame was very tiny, a good nine inches shorter than Rosalie's five foot eleven stature. Her short hair was formed into tiny spikes poking out in every direction, and the color was mostly black with blood red tips. She wore black capri's that looked a little too big and slung low on her hips, a tight black and gray Beatles t-shirt, black flip flops and a black leather cuff around her wrist. She had a small diamond stud in her nose and countless piercings in her ears. This girl definitely followed the beat of her own drummer.

"Bella, this is my sister, Mary Alice," Rose said formally.

"Just Alice," the little dark haired girl chimed as she extended her hand to me.

I grasped it and gave her a big smile. "I'm Bella. It's great to finally meet you, Alice."

In that instant, even though the differences between us were evident, I knew we would all be close from then on. The huge grins on their faces sealed the deal.

Rose quickly dragged Alice inside then spun around to face me.

"Okay, Bella. Intro's are out of the way. Now what's so damn important that you just had to call before you even got dressed this morning?"

I looked down, just then remembering that I was still in the shorts and tank top I had slept in. I drug my hand through my hair in a futile attempt to make myself presentable. I soon gave up on all my appearances and just spit it all out.

"I'm having guy trouble and it's driving me crazy. I know Jasper wants to be with me, I think Emmett might have feelings for me, Edward kissed me at the hospital yesterday, and I'm so fucking confused that I'm about ready to check myself into a mental facility!" My hand was still in my hair, which wasn't a good thing since I was practically pulling it out in frustration.

The two women in front of me just stood there with their hands on their hips and their mouths open.

Rosalie was the first to break the silence. "That Edward guy kissed you?!"

I sighed, then spilled the rest of my guts in nearly one breath.

"Yes, but that's only part of the problem. God, this is so difficult! I know Jazz and Em have feelings for me, and I think I do, too, but they're both so perfect, you know? They're both everything to me at the same time. And now Edward comes in and he's Mr. Wonderful, too, and…just…shit! I should be jumping for joy that guys have an interest in me, not worrying myself sick over whether I'm good enough for them."

I grunted and drug myself to the bed to bury my face in a pillow.

"Jesus, Bella, I know I just met you, but I'm very good at reading people. It sounds like you just need to forget everything and get laid," the dark pixie spouted.

_God, she really is Rosalie's sister._

I looked up from my pillow and stared at Alice in disbelief. Before I could protest, Rosalie was throwing her hat in the ring.

"That's exactly right, Bella. You should get laid. It'll take the pressure off, give you the physical release your pasty ass complexion so desperately needs, and Edward is the perfect guy to help you in your quest."

"My quest? What am I, some kind of deranged superhero?" I was thoroughly confused.

"No, Wonder Girl," Rose chided. "Your quest to find yourself. You've been so concerned with keeping yourself in this protective little cocoon that you've forgotten to figure out what you want and what you deserve. You need to put yourself out there and experience something totally new, something out of your comfortable little bubble, so that you can be sure of what _you_ really want. Edward is a perfect candidate - he's hot, he obviously wants you, and he is the complete opposite of you. You need to explore that and have some fun."

I just stared at her as she spoke. Maybe I was in some kind of parallel universe, but Rosalie was actually making sense. Just minutes ago, I was already yearning to find something out of character, something opposite from me, and yesterday it had been kissing me on the lips and staring at me with green eyes.

"Now all we have to do is track down this Edward," Alice added.

I laughed. Both girls looked at me like I was even more crazy than before. I just shook my head and reached over to open up the nightstand drawer. I pulled out the little white business card and flipped in in my fingers.

"He gave you his card?! You, Isabella Marie Swan, got a guy's number?!" Rose was beyond shocked, mouth again hanging open.

I smirked. "Not only did I get his number, but I know where he'll be at exactly ten A.M."

Rosalie shook her head. "Bella, I underestimated you."

I laughed again, but then I caught site of Alice. She didn't really look lost, but I suddenly felt guilty for monopolizing our first meeting on my crazy ramblings.

"Damn-it, Alice I'm so sorry. This was definitely not how I wanted our first meeting to go. I'm such an ass for being so wrapped up in my own soap opera," I apologized.

Alice just shrugged and smiled. "No biggie. Besides, you're pretty entertaining. And I can tell that even though you say you know where this lay-worthy guy will be today, you'll probably still need a tour guide. As long as I have a chance to get to know my new family's friends, I'd love to show you around and be your back up with Rose today."

"Alice, if I could throw myself over there to hug you without ripping out my stitches, I would. Thank you," I said in appreciation.

"All right, enough of this mushy bullshit," Rosalie proclaimed. "Bella, get your smelly, skinny ass in the bathroom right now and don't come out until you look fuckable."

I snorted. "Gee Rose, I never knew I could look fuckable to you before. Is there something you're not telling me? Have you begun to shun the man sausage?"

Alice snorted, too and doubled over with laughter while I limped my way off the bed and over to my suitcase.

"Hell no! Me and the male genitalia are very close and very well acquainted, just as you should be," Rosalie affirmed. "Now, where exactly will we be going to see the green eyed man candy today?"

"Um, Central Park I guess. He said he coaches a kids' baseball team there or something and they're playing at ten."

Alice spoke up, practically vibrating with anticipation. "Did you say baseball…at ten o'clock…in Central Park?!"

"Yes, and it was Colonel Mustard in the study with a candlestick," I said sarcastically.

Both sister rolled their eyes with uncanny synchronization.

"Bella, what does this guy do for a living?" Alice asked.

"Um, he's a firefighter."

"A New York firefighter?"

"Yes…is that not good? And how did you even put that together with my Colonel Mustard clues?"

Alice groaned. "Wow, you guys are so out of the loop in this city. Everyone knows that the FDNY sponsors and coaches a bunch of little league baseball teams on Sunday mornings in Central Park. Those firefighters are _prime beef_, ladies! Every single girl in the city from the homeless to the Hiltons are waiting for their turn to 'man the hose'. Bella, if this guy showed interest in you, you are at the head of a very long line. You should be way more excited than you are right now," she explained as she bounced in her flip flops.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes and lay on more sarcasm. "Gee Alice, that makes me even more relaxed to see Edward. Nothing to live up to with him or anything."

"Oh shut your hole and get dressed, Bella," Rose spouted. "Prime beef here we come!"

-------------------------------------------------------

Fashionably late at ten fifteen, Rosalie, Alice and I were slowly approaching the baseball fields in Central Park. Slowly because I was still hobbling on my leg a little, even after downing three Advil and securely rewrapping the bandage. As we got closer, I squinted my eyes toward the rows of bleachers surrounding the field.

"Holy mother of pearl…do you guys see what's packing the bleachers?" My eyes were nearly bugging out of my head.

Row after row of sexily dressed females lined the benches, all of them clapping and squealing with a little too much enthusiasm for a bunch of ten year old kids. Though I'm sure the squealing was less for the kids than it was for the men coaching them. Each woman donned an outfit more appropriate for a club than for an outing in the park. Tube tops, mini skirts and copious amounts of cleavage were apparently the right way to snag one of these men.

I visibly winced and nearly turned around to run away. These were clearly more than MILF's here to watch their kids play ball.

I wasn't one of _those_ women. I'd worn a pair of genuinely faded and torn blue jeans - a pair that I actually caused the damage to, not some Indonesian factory worker - black flip flops, a navy blue button down shirt that was left open to reveal a white cotton camisole underneath. I left my hair long and wavy, which I was regretting because I was constantly brushing it out of my eyes from the breeze that was blowing through the park. Rosalie insisted that I wear at least some makeup, so I obliged by only doing bare minimum of mascara and lip gloss.

Before I could tuck tail and limp away, Alice spoke up.

"I don't think so, Bella. Do you see what's herding those kids around?"

I peered through the sea of primped women toward one of the dugouts to find three tall, dark and handsome men clapping their hands and shouting directions toward the little uniforms bouncing around them. The men were definitely eye candy, better than any piece of chocolate.

We stopped about ten feet away from the chain link fence that surrounded the field and stood beside a set of packed bleachers. I scanned the field, looking for my target.

I recognized the messy bronze hair almost directly in front of me, positioned as the third base batting coach. He was wearing low slug jeans with sneakers and a red and white uniform shirt that was unbuttoned to reveal a tight white wife-beater thank top underneath; it clung in all the right ways to his rock hard abs. I think I actually drooled a little.

"There he is, the third base coach," I murmured, nodding my head and trying not to point my finger.

"Bella!" Rosalie exclaimed entirely too loudly. My face immediately flushed.

"Rose, for Christ's sake, shut up," I whispered as harshly as I could.

But when I looked at the field again, Edward was looking back at me. A slow, crooked smile spread across his face when his eyes met mine, and he winked. I could actually hear a collective feminine sigh from the stands as he grinned.

Alice grabbed my arm. "Oh. My. God. Is that the guy that kissed you?"

I nodded, not able to verbalize anything.

"W-O-W," she mouthed and shook her head.

A few seconds later the inning had ended with a strikeout. But instead of walking to the dugout with his team, Edward turned and headed straight for us. He lithely jogged over to the fence in front of us, curling his fingers through the openings in the middle. The women in the bleachers were buzzing and primping themselves like mad. I think I actually saw one of them push her boobs out of her shirt a little.

"Hi." He nodded his head. His emerald eyes were sparkling at me as his lips slowly parted into a cocky grin.

"Hi," I replied, blood filling my cheeks.

"I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure if you would."

"Yeah, well I uh, don't have to be back at the Garden until later this afternoon. Plus I had my own personal tour guides," I explained and I motioned toward my two friends. "I believe you sort of met Rosalie yesterday, and this is her sister, Alice."

"Nice to meet you ladies," he nodded toward them briefly, but quickly brought his gaze back to settle on me. I was surprised, but silently thanked him for not ogling my blond bombshell friend in front of me.

"Likewise," Alice cooed.

Rose just smiled and stayed silent. I was almost glad, but then I realized that her evil mind would be hard at work, coming up with some sort of scheme. She was most dangerous when left to the inner workings of her brain.

Just then a small boy in uniform ran up to Edward and tugged on his shirt.

"Yes, Tyler? What's up my boy?" Edward asked in a jovial tone.

The boy strained to look up at him from under his nearly too big baseball cap. He was fidgeting, and kept smacking his glove off of the side of his leg. When he spoke, he slurred his words a bit and dropped the "r" sound, just like a typical little kid.

"Coach Eddie! Coach Eddie! My Mommy said I need to tie my shoes!"

"Tyler, you still don't know how to tie your shoes?"

"I can't 'cause I dunno how! And those suckas won't stay tied!" Tyler stamped his foot as his glove came down hard to meet his leg in a mini tantrum.

Rosalie started giggling. Edward just shook his head, gave the boy curt look, then dropped down on one knee to tie his shoes.

"There you go, buddy," he said as he stood and patted the boy on the back.

"Thanks coach," Tyler yelled over his should as he awkwardly sprinted to the outfield.

Edward dusted off his knee, then turned to face me again.

"Looks like the inning is about to start. Will you stay and watch for a while? Maybe we could get some lunch or some coffee afterwards."

"Sure, I think I'd like that," I said warmly.

"Awesome," he said as he turned and jogged away.

Rose, Alice and I took a seat in the perfectly manicured green grass, which earned us quite a few glares and snickers from the whore peanut gallery in the stands, but none of us cared. Alice definitely wasn't a prude, and Rose and I had clearly grown up to appreciate a soft patch of grass as a great place to park it.

Edward would look over at us every so often. Some of his fellow coaches caught on and started ribbing him, but they were clearly amused that we weren't just typical "skirts".

After a few clumsily stolen bases, collisions from chasing fly balls, and countless pictures drawn in the sand with the toe of tiny cleats, the game had ended. The girls and I got to our feet as Edward was helping to pack the equipment. He said goodbye to the kids, parents and coaches before finally making his way over to us, much to the dismay of the lingering whored-up fans.

I spoke up as he approached. "Congrats on your win, coach."

He scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "Yeah, thanks. They played hard. At least nobody cried today," he chuckled. "So ladies, would you like to accompany me to the Ballfield Café? It's just down the way a little. Nothing fancy, just something light for lunch."

"Sounds good," I replied, trying to hide my enthusiasm.

"Actually…" Rose trailed off. I shot her a glare. She didn't have to finish her sentence for me to know what was coming. I knew she had been too quiet earlier.

"Actually I think Alice and I are going to skip lunch and do a little shopping. Edward, would you mind taking Bella back to the hotel? She'll need to be there by three."

"Not at all. I'd be happy to escort Bella. Are you sure you don't want to stay? Lunch is on me…"

"We'll take a rain check on that," Alice piped up.

"Edward, really, if you have something else going on I can go with Rose and Alice, it's really no big deal," I said as I put my hand on his arm. It was an instinctual reaction and I didn't realize I had done it until it was too late.

He looked down at my hand, then placed his over top of it before looking at me.

"It's fine, love. I didn't have any plans for today, other than hoping I'd run into you again. So this works out great for me."

"Perfect," Rose said with a little too much elation. "We'll see you later Bells. Call if you need something." And with that, they spun around and were gone in an instant.

Feeling my hand move, I suddenly remembered putting it on Edward's arm, but not letting go. I looked to find his hand clasping mine as he brought them down in between us. He was holding my hand. And he was smiling from ear to ear.

_Sexy bastard. He knows what he's doing to me._

I quirked up my eyebrow at him with a smirk of my own.

"What?" he asked, feigning innocence.

"You think you're slick, don't you. And charming."

"I know I'm slick. And charming. And you like it," he teased.

"Is that right? You know, you sure have a set of brass balls on you."

"Yes I do. Word travels faster and farther than I imagined. The whole way to Texas," he mused.

"Oh yes, I've planned my annual pilgrimage just to see what is surely the main attraction of this city for myself. This whole trip has been planned around your testicles," I mocked.

He laughed and shook his head, then stepped in dangerously close to me. His hands found my hips and his lips were nearly touching my ear.

"For what it's worth," he whispered, "me and my family jewels are glad you're here."

His lips ghosted over my earlobe, then found the hollow behind my ear, making me melt into him. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I let out a sigh as he moved down my neck, softly kissing and nibbling. He wasn't hesitant; he was sure and confident in his actions, knowing exactly where to plant his lips to get the most reaction. And no doubt about it, my body was reacting.

He pulled away to look at me, this time with dark, lust-filled eyes. The way my body had been tensing, I new my eyes would match his. I felt my cheeks getting hotter as his trademark grin spread across his face.

"Come on, let's get you something to eat to fuel those rosy cheeks. They turn me on too much for me to let them go pale."

"Sure," I agreed as we starting walking, "but you should eat something, too. After all, you'll need all your strength to keep up with me."

"I'm sure I can keep up. You're the one with the bum knee, remember?"

"I remember, I'm still limping for crying out loud, which is double the reason my friends are going to get an earful for ditching me."

Edward put his hand over his chest and gaped his mouth, faking a hurt look.

"Ouch, love. After all the time we spent together…"

I laughed at his vain attempt at diappointment. "Yeah, all four hours of it! Look Edward, I know you won't hurt me or anything. Well at least I'd like to think you wouldn't, but maybe I'm just delusional. I mean, my friends just left me here in this huge park in this huge city with a guy I barely know and a bum leg preventing me from running away. I just don't want to end up as some 'ripped from the headlines' plot of _Law and Order_."

He laughed and grabbed my hand. "You're funny, you know that? I haven't met a girl before that can give shit right back to me like you can. It's hot. And you're right, I would never do anything to hurt you. The world needs more people like you."

Before I could ask about his last statement, we were already at the café with the girl behind the counter waiting for us. Edward ordered us each a hot dog and a Coke. We carried our food to an outside table that had an umbrella for shade, then sat down to enjoy our meal and the beautiful day.

I swallowed down the first bite of the delicious hot dog before needing to return to our previous conversation.

"What did you mean when you said the world needs more people like me?"

He took a sip of his Coke before answering. "I meant that I wish more people could be like you - smart, witty, tough, and not afraid to be themselves. You don't seem like someone that likes a lot of drama either."

"I hate drama, but sometimes it finds you without your permission," I stated gruffly, thinking of the Jasper-Emmett conundrum.

"True, but some people thrive on that stuff. They like to make waves and watch them crash around people, see if they can knock them down. That's not you. You can be a debonair sex kitten all primped and done up in a little black dress one day, and be lounging in the grass in worn jeans - which I'm sure you didn't buy that way - and watch some little kids roll in the dirt playing baseball the next. You can be vulnerable when your emotions are on you sleeve, but you won't even cry when there's a gaping hole in your knee that's gushing blood. Hell, I probably would've shed a tear had my leg been sliced open like that. You're a pretty amazing and unique person, Bella, and I'm proud to know you."

"I've had worse injuries you know, and not just from the accident with my family." As I said the words, I braced myself for the pain to wash over me about my parents. But it didn't. Purging my emotions to Edward yesterday had been entirely cleansing, and the weight I was prepared to feel never came.

"Now I'm curious," he said, snapping me out of my internal realization.

"Um, let's see. I've had a horse flip over on me - landed on my leg and made the entire thing black and blue from the middle of my thigh down to all of my toes. I've been drug around and given some nasty road rash by a steer that didn't want to stay roped. I've been bucked off of a few horses mostly, though I did try bull riding once because the boys dared me to. I lasted the full eight seconds but sort of crashed on my dismount. And I've tripped and fallen over nothing but air so many times that I should be able to get a handicapped parking placard," I laughed, then downed what was left of my hot dog.

"God, you're tough, woman. You actually rode a bull?"

"Mm-hmm. It was a bull that actually made it to the Pro Bull Rider's Tour rotation a few months later. The boys were impressed and stopped giving me shit after that."

"I guess so."

I chuckled again at my next thought. "When we go out to a bar with a mechanical bull they all get pissed at me again because I can stay on longer than they can. I even beat Emmett, though that doesn't stop him from trying to get the best of me; I think it wounds his pride. The only one I can't beat is Jasper, but that's what he does for a living."

Edward shook his head. "God, no wonder you can handle my brass balls. Anyone that willingly straps themselves to one of those things on a daily basis has to have balls of steel."

I just grinned. I liked giving Edward this little glimpse into my sport of choice. Most people don't quite understand the enormity of putting yourself at the mercy of an animal who has it's own mind and agenda that doesn't necessarily match your own.

I finished my Coke and leaned back to slouch in my chair. Edward looked down to the empty wrapper in front of me and snorted.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"You ate the whole thing."

"Yeah, I was hungry."

He laughed again. I kept looking at him with a questioning expression, waiting for him to explain himself.

"I should have known you'd pass. It's kind of my own personal test when I buy a girl food without asking what she'd like. I know if she doesn't mind eating real food instead of some tiny side salad or tofu garbage, then she's definitely my type."

"I was going to order a hot dog anyway, you know, so it worked out for me just fine. I'm not one of those girls who grazes on a few leafs of lettuce and pretends they're full."

"I know," he replied, "and I like it. You're quickly becoming my favorite person."

"Well shucks, I'll hang that award right up there with my pie eating contest t-shirt," I teased.

"Did you just say 'shucks'?"

"I was joking Edward. I'm not that back woods. I shave my legs and beard and everything," I joked again.

"Your beard?! You're a trip, you know that? But I don't think I'm going to take your word for it on how smooth your legs are. I'm going to have to be the judge of that one myself."

"You already felt up my leg in the ambulance, remember?"

"True, but I was getting paid to do it then. Not the same as feeling it up underneath the table at a restaurant or in my apartment later." Again, out came that Bella-melting grin.

"Is that so?" I asked with anticipation.

"It is. I must do more research on this subject. What do you say to dinner and research after your barrels run tonight? I'll cook for you so you won't have to hobble around the city with me. You can call me when you're finished with your run and I'll pick you up."

"Hmm." I paused for dramatic effect, not wanting to make this too easy on him. "I suppose in the name of research I could have dinner with you. It will have to be late since the rodeo runs late, is that a problem?"

"For you, not at all," he said sweetly as he picked up my hand from the table and placed his lips on my knuckles for a gentle kiss. "Come on, hobble with me a bit."

We walked - well, he walked, I hobbled - down to the Angel of the Waters fountain and found a bench. We sat there talking and bantering back and forth for hours. We talked about nothing and everything, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our work, our friends. In a few hours time I knew about his first car, first kiss and first time, and he knew all of that about me as well.

The sexual rhetoric was laced throughout everything as we talked we got physically closer. He had wrapped his arms around me as I reclined into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. We looked like a happy couple to anyone passing by, like we had been together for months or years, not hours. He was easy to be with and things between us flowed effortlessly. Even if I was going to leave the next day, I hoped that Edward and I would remain close.

As it neared three o'clock, we began to fall into silence, neither one of us wanting the short time we could spend together to be over. I was the first one to acknowledge the elephant in the room, or on the bench I guess.

"I'm definitely enjoying talking with you, especially like this, with your arms around me," I admitted.

"I'm enjoying it, too. It's really been a while since I connected with someone like this. You're an easy person to get along with. And for some reason the filter between my brain and my mouth evaporates when you're near me."

"Me, too. Not that it's a bad thing. I like just spilling out whatever's on my mind to you. It's liberating."

"I agree," he said as he brushed the hair from my eyes. "I don't think I've ever opened up to someone like this, let alone this fast. God, I sound like a chick."

"Yes you do. Are you sure you're not just faking this whole arms around me thing? Maybe you're in the closet about liking dudes. I mean, you are one of the best looking guys I think I've ever met, and you know how to dress…" I trailed off dramatically teasing him.

Edward chuckled darkly. "Then I guess I'll have to convince you that I'm straight as an arrow."

Edward leaned over me and pulled me closer. One hand tightened at my waist and the other went to the back of my neck, tangling in my hair. This wasn't going to be the sweet kiss I got the last time. No, this one was deep and sensual.

His lips crashed into mine with such force that it took my breath away. I immediately opened my mouth for him, wanting nothing more than to taste him. His tongue massaged my own forcefully as we battled to drown the other in passion. His fresh scent assaulted me as I breathed, combined with the misty air near the fountain. We were both taking quick, shallow breaths through our noses and I could feel his heart pounding against my hand as it rested on his chest. My other hand mimicked his and fisted his disarrayed hair, trying to pull him even deeper into my mouth. He was completely taking over every one of my senses.

I don't know how long we kissed like that, but I do know it didn't feel near long enough. When he pulled away, the hand that was in my hair moved to caress my cheek.

"Does that prove my sexuality to you?"

I smirked. "I think we may need to do some more research on that subject before I can make a valid conclusion."

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**A/N: This chapter wasn't originally intended to be this short, but the second half is going to be way too long to add it here, so I opted to split this into two separate chapters. The next chapter will pick up on Sunday afternoon in the story timeline and continue from there.**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has read and reviewed, it really means a lot! Sorry this took me a little longer than usual, but I've been hard at work on a few extras for you.

I will be posting some new links on my profile page very soon. There will be a link for "Webster Hall" the NYC night club (you must check it out, there's a video with the whole Circus theme as described in CH. 4...amazing). There will also be links for all the songs mentioned within the story for your listening pleasure. J

Speaking of pleasure…lemony goodness coming your way in this chapter!

And one final note…I will be posting the first in a series of outtakes for Notion the same day that I post this chapter. It will be Emmett's POV, and you'll get an inside look at what he's been thinking about Bella. I'll add some different POV's, among other things, to that section as the story progresses. The outtakes will be posted in a collection under the title "Alternative Notion".

Enjoy chapter 8!

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**My afternoon with Edward was incredibly refreshing. I felt light and airy, like I could float away. It wasn't deep or serious or full of meaning, and yet it really did mean a lot to me. It had been fun, plain and simple. My responsibilities, my goals, my troubles - they all disappeared, if only for a few hours. **

**With the weight on my shoulders removed, I was able to relax and just be me. For whatever reason, Edward could read me like an open book. Whenever I thought about hiding something from him, or omitting an embarrassing detail, he would give me a look that signified his ability to see right through me. So I stopped holding back, spilling every gory detail that went with every question he asked me. And so I wouldn't feel alone, he did the same. **

**As we made our way out of the park, he would pull me to him and assault my mouth with another kiss. It was playful, and he would end up snickering or tickling me so I would laugh. **

**We made out like a couple of high school kids. We kissed on the sidewalk waiting for a taxi. We made out and groped each other a little in the cab. And when the cab stopped in front of my hotel, he kissed my cheek with a feathery softness and in a whisper told me good luck and that he'd see me soon.**

**At precisely three-o-one I was in the hotel elevator dialing Rosalie's cell number. I needed more of her girly advice about tonight with Edward and smoothing that fact over with Emmett and Jasper. **

**The phone rang only once before she answered.**

"**You're a minute late young lady," she scolded.**

"**You going to ground me, Mom?"**

"**Only if you don't tell me, in detail, what you were doing with the prime hunk of man flesh I left you with in the park."**

**I laughed. "What am I, a cannibal? Really we just sat and talked. He bought me lunch, we sat by this gorgeous fountain and talked about everything we could think of for hours. We made out a little bit, and then he invited me over to his apartment so he could cook dinner for me tonight."**

"**Bella, that's fucking awesome! I knew you had it in you to be a sultry sex kitten!"**

"**You're way off Rose. All I did was be myself. I talked to him like I'm talking to you now, I teased and made fun of him, I told him the story about me riding the bull and everything. After all that, he still invited me to dinner."**

**There was silence on the phone for a minute and I was beginning to worry.**

"**Rose?"**

"**I was just thinking. You mean to tell me you didn't pull any sexy moves, like drop a napkin and bend over in front of him to pick it up, or lick your lips a lot, or bat your eyelashes or anything girly like that?" She was completely baffled.**

"**Nope."**

"**You told him you rode a bull, basically making you look tougher than him and he didn't run away screaming?"**

"**Nope. I think he kind of liked that actually. But who knows, maybe he's into that whole submissive thing," I joked.**

"**God, that would be fucking hot," Rose retorted.**

"**Rose! Enough. I'm going to get changed and I'll see you at the arena later." I definitely wanted the conversation to end before she started fantasizing out loud.**

"**Fine, see you later."**

**I slid my keycard into the lock on my hotel room door and slipped inside. **

"**Where were you?"**

**I jumped at least a foot in the air at the sound of the voice behind me. My heart pounded in my ears since it most certainly wasn't in my chest anymore. I spun around to find Emmett sitting on the edge of one of the plush chairs by the bed. I couldn't read his face - the emotions displayed there were changing too quickly for me to pin one down.**

**For a fleeting moment, I thought about lying to him about where I'd just been, and who I was with. Then I thought about simply omitting Edward, telling him I was just with the girls this afternoon. But Emmett deserved better than that. He had always deserved the whole truth from me and no matter what the consequences, he was going to get it now.**

"**Holy shit, Em! You scared the crap out of me!"**

"**That's not answering my question." **

**I still couldn't discern his tone or expression, so I just let everything out in nearly one long breath.**

"**Rosalie, Alice and I decided to go to Central Park. Yesterday Edward invited me there to watch the little league team he coaches, so I took Rose and Alice with me. They decided that they wanted to go shopping and I didn't, so Edward and I had lunch and hung out in the park, then we shared a cab - it dropped me off here first and I'm assuming it's taking him home now. And since you're obviously going to be upset with me anyway, I'll just tell you now that I accepted his dinner invitation for tonight after the rodeo."**

**Emmett slouched over and dropped his head into his hands. I could see him breathing deeply, trying to keep himself calm. He was silent for nearly a full minute.**

"**Say something, Emmett."**

**He sighed, but didn't remove his head from his hands when he spoke to me.**

"**You shouldn't have been alone with a guy that you barely know in this city." I could hear his anger and concern within that sentence.**

"**Just don't blame the girls for leaving me. I didn't want to go shopping with them and I'm sure they didn't want my limping to slow them down. Edward offered to bring me back here, so I stayed." I tried to keep my voice even, not wanting to start a fight.**

**Emmett finally looked up at me. His face was still unreadable, but his blue eyes were laced with sadness. **

"**And you're going out on a date with him tonight?" His tone was flat and impassive, but his eyes were still conveying his dejection.**

"**Yes," I said softly. "I didn't think we had any other plans. Did we?"**

**His eyes fell to the floor and he furrowed his brow. I wanted to go over to him and smooth it away. I hated it when he his happy go lucky self, but I couldn't make my feet move any closer.**

"**No," he replied. "No, there were no plans. Only assumptions. And I can see now that I was the ass for making them."**

**This time my feet moved swiftly forward and I knelt down to hug my best friend. I knew he was hurting, I knew he needed me, and yet neither of us could bring ourselves to admit anything. We were both stubborn asses.**

"**You're not an ass, Emmett. I should have called and told you where I was going. And I can cancel my plans tonight, it's really not a big deal."**

"**No, you were right before. I didn't say anything. It's my fault. You deserve to go and have a good time and I shouldn't be stopping you from doing that. We're both adults. I just want you to be careful, okay? I couldn't stand it if I let you get hurt."**

**I hugged him tighter, and this time he hugged me back. **

"**I won't get hurt, and even if I did it wouldn't be your fault. We both deserve to have a good time. Why don't you call Rose and Alice and take them out, I'm sure they'd love to go."**

"**Yeah, I'll do that. I need to meet the little sister, anyway," he said, slowly getting back to his normal tone as he released me. He looked me straight in the eye. "I worry about you. All the time. Over twenty years together makes me a bit overprotective I guess," he shrugged.**

"**It's okay, I worry about you all the time, too. But it'll always me you and me no matter what, remember?" I held up the hand with my copper ring. "No matter who comes in and out of our lives or what happens to us, it's still you and me."**

**Emmett grasped my hand and chastely kissed my ring, then pulled me into another bear hug. "You and me, little girl…"**

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**After patching things up and going back to a shade of normal, Emmett and I arrived at the Garden around five. The rodeo didn't start until seven, so we had made it in plenty of time. We went to the stalls to check on the horses, and Emmett began the arduous task of getting them ready himself. He knew how picky I was about my pre-ride rituals, so he took the time to do everything just as I wound have done.**

**Since I had won the go 'round last night, I wasn't feeling as much pressure. So I did something out of character - I found my way to the stands near the chutes to sit and watch the last minute practice runs, gate checks and other preparations before they started to seat the crowd. **

**I hobbled to a corner seat and propped my leg up on the chair in front of me. I brought an icepack with me and wrapped it around my knee on the outside of my jeans, figuring that I could sit and people watch for a while until it melted. The swelling had gone down considerably, but I wanted to be safe what with my run coming up. **

**I heard a familiar shuffling of boots and jingling of spurs moving behind me. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. As if that wasn't enough, the woodsy scent of his favorite cologne gave him away.**

**I smiled, still facing forward. "Thought you were supposed to call me this morning."**

**I heard him let out a sigh.**

"**I got a little drunk last night. Passed out in my room 'till about an hour ago."**

"**Jazz, why the hell did you get drunk and pass out?"**

**He stepped his foot down onto the seat next to me, then onto the floor. He sat down, propping one leg up on the chair in front of him, mimicking my position and looking straight ahead.**

"**I don't know. I guess when I saw you hurt yesterday, something inside me snapped." **

**He finally looked at me with apologetic blue eyes. **

"**Everything in my life is so carefully controlled and planned. I'm good at this rodeo thing, just like my Dad, and I know exactly what it takes for me to win, to get qualified, to be at the top of the standings. And because of my Mom's fame, not to mention Rosalie's status, I have to keep myself molded into this perfect person so that we don't end smeared all over the tabloids. People can be so cruel, Bella, you should see some of the stuff they've printed about my Mom over the years. I don't know how her and Dad discriminate between those lies and the truth sometimes."**

**He paused as he glanced at the icepack on my knee.**

"**When you got hurt yesterday, I felt out of control and I didn't like it. I didn't know how to deal, so I got drunk."**

"**Probably not your best idea, Jasper," I scolded.**

"**Probably not. But when I was praying to the porcelain Gods this morning, I realized that no matter how much I planned and prepared, something can always go wrong. I drank because I just wanted to throw my controlling nature and being responsible out the window, to feel nothing for once, but even then I was careful enough to not even leave the hotel lounge. Some bellhop had to pretty much carry me to my room. Not my proudest moment and certainly not the most wild of rebellions, but I just needed an escape even if it was only for a little while."**

**I almost laughed at the irony. "Jazz, you have no idea how much I have felt the same way these last few days, needing an escape. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I can't even imagine the pressures that you have to deal with every day because of who you are."**

"**Thanks, Bells. I'm glad you understand. I was afraid you wouldn't," he admitted sheepishly.**

"**Of course I do," I said as I laid a hand on his arm to comfort him. "I wouldn't let something as simple as a missed phone call or a little freak out come between us, you know that." **

**He laid his hand on mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. His smile was much brighter, like the Jasper I'd grown up with. I inwardly cringed at the thought of telling him my plans with Edward tonight. I didn't want to see him hurt, but more than that, I didn't want to lie to him. **

**I took a deep breath. "Um, there's something else I need to tell you," I said as I looked away. Another squeeze of my hand brought my attention back to him.**

"**I already know, Bells. Rose told me you had a date tonight with that Edward guy. She explained everything, and I want you to know it's okay with me."**

"**What?" The look on Jasper's face was genuine, but his words took me by surprise.**

**He chuckled at my exasperation. "I mean, it's just a date, right? He didn't ask you to run away and get married or anything, did he?"**

"**No." One syllable answers were all I could manage in my shock.**

"**Then it's fine with me. Rosie and Alice actually helped me to understand what you're going through. No offense, but you've been pretty sheltered most of your life. I forget sometimes that Rose and I have had a lot more opportunities to see the world, so to speak. So if this is what you need, this experience, then do it. Just know that I'll be waiting for you," he said as he brushed the hair from my eyes. "Though I hope you don't keep me waiting long."**

**I closed my eyes at his touch and willed myself to form a coherent sentence.**

"**Now it's my turn to thank you for understanding."**

"**I don't necessarily like it, but I get it. You need to find yourself before you can ever fully be with someone else. If Edward is the one to help you do that, then he can't be a bad person."**

**I pushed away from my seat and stood up. Jasper followed suit. I couldn't form any more words of thanks, so I threw my arms around his neck in a tight hug. His strong arms enveloped my body and he picked me up off the ground. It was a relief to find that the man holding me there at that moment was the old Jasper I'd always known and loved. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------**

**Thankfully, time seemed to move quickly and before I knew it, it was time for the barrel racing. Both Emmett and Jasper were there to help me climb aboard and get situated in the saddle. I could tell that they were worried, but they knew better than to try and talk me out of running - I'd still want to be strapped to the saddle even if they had amputated my leg yesterday. **

**My knee was aching as I moved in the saddle. I could feel the stitches pull every time my knee flexed to changed positions. So I didn't push Copper as hard as I normally would have, and I'm sure he could sense my apprehension because he didn't quite turn around the barrels as hard as he could have. We still clocked in a respectable time, leaving us in third place for the second go 'round. Because the other girls entered happened to be inconsistent in their runs, we ended up in first place for the NYC rodeo average, which meant that I was also able to crack into the number twelve spot in the national average. Finishing the run that day meant that the NFR was looking good for me.**

**I stayed to watch Emmett and Jasper's go's. Emmett was third in both of his go's tonight, allowing him to end up with second in the calf roping and third in the steer wrestling overall. He held steady in the top fifteen in the national average. Jasper decided that with his poor performance yesterday, he was going to drop out of the all-around for this particular rodeo and only finish competing in the saddle bronc and bull riding. He was already pretty much secured for the NFR in every event, so any check he drew would be icing on the cake. He did draw go 'round checks - first in the saddle bronc and second with the bulls - but he pulled a groin muscle on the dismount from the bull. Driving in the truck with a grumpy and sore Jasper tomorrow was going to be treat.**

**I didn't stay for the closing ceremonies. I helped Emmett get the horses situated as best I could and then made my way to the exit to call Edward.**

**The phone rang twice before he answered.**

"**Hey beautiful," he greeted.**

"**Hey yourself. We still on for tonight?"**

"**Absolutely. Where are you now?"**

"**Um, just walking out the main entrance. Why? "Look to your left."**

**(Song suggestion: "Bliss" by Muse)**

As I did as he instructed, I stopped in my tracks.

_Oh. My. God. Strip me naked and fuck me now please!_

Down on the street was the bronze haired brilliance of Edward himself, perched on none other than an incredibly fast looking blue and silver crotch rocket. The bike was nearly as gorgeous as Edward, with all of it's sleek, aerodynamic glory.

He was just as appealing, wearing black Doc Martins, loose faded jeans that, were he standing, I'm sure would be slung low on his hips, and a black and red Abercrombie t-shirt. That tattoo that I had noticed in the club - the one with the Chinese lettering - was prominently on display on his forearm as he gripped the throttle. He was gorgeous, although he could have worn curtains and he would still be sexy.

I couldn't move and was still holding the phone to my ear. Edward flashed me that panty-dropping crooked smile and beckoned me with one finger.

_Um, yes please!_

I actually shook my head to snap myself out of my lust induced stupor. I snapped my phone shut and found the will to walk toward him.

"Want to go for a ride?" he asked with a definite double entendre to his tone.

I laughed. I had ridden my fair share of dirt bikes and four wheelers, but this was something entirely out of my realm. "You've already seen how accident-prone I am and you want me to ride with you on _that_? Jesus, it looks fast just standing still!"

"I assure you that you'll be safe with me. I even brought you a helmet," he said as he handed me the small silver skid lid. "Climb aboard. I thought we'd take a quick bike tour of the city before we head back to my place for a late dinner."

New Bella took over, and I do believe I was falling in love with her bold attitude. Without another word, I swung my leg over the back of the stunning machine between Edward's legs and we both put on our helmets. He revved the engine as I wrapped my arms tightly around his chiseled form. With a squeal of his tire, we tore off into the street.

He weaved effortlessly in and out of traffic. The speed and accuracy at which he maneuvered the bike only fueled my desire for him.

_If he can handle this bike like that, what can he do between the sheets?_

We raced through the city, passing every major landmark and even riding across the Brooklyn Bridge - twice. The salty air assaulted my senses there, and I found myself throwing my arms wide into the air, making me feel like I was flying. Edward accelerated at that moment, making me feel so free as the wind whipped around me.

The city was amazing with it's twinkling lights and flutter of people. My first impressions of this place were fading away, replaced with the memories Edward was creating for me. I had no concept of time with him, but in the city that never sleeps it didn't matter.

When my private tour was over, we glided to a stop in front of a row of scenic brick buildings that looked like town houses. Edward shut off his bike and pulled off his helmet. I took mine off as well, and he turned his head to throw me a mischievous grin.

**(Song suggestion: "Closer" by Kings of Leon)**

"Don't move," I said as I returned his same grin.

I set the helmet down next to me and climbed off the bike. Edward looked confused, until I put my hand on his chest, pushing him to slide back on the bike seat. Then I swung my leg back over the bike so I was facing Edward. His smirk reappeared at my bold move, and before I could settle in front of him, he reached underneath my thighs and yanked me toward him. He hitched both of my legs over top of his so that I was fully straddling him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his body, tangling one hand in his wild sex hair and pulling him to me as hard as I could. I stopped just short, our faces nearly touching. He turned his head just slightly and parted his lips. Our tongues slipped out and teased each other through our open mouths. We licked and lapped at each other a few times before it became too much for him to handle. I felt his fingers slide from my thighs and dig into my ass as his mouth crashed onto mine. My fingers were tugging on his hair with wild abandon, deepening the maddening kiss.

His hands were rough and needy on me. They pulled me against the strain in his jeans and I moaned at the sensation. That broke our kiss and he began trailing his lips, sucking and nibbling, across my jaw line to the hollow behind my ear. He moved down then to where my neck and shoulder joined and hit the sweetest spot there, making me melt into him and let out a low hiss.

One hand stayed firmly on cupping my ass, keeping me pushed up against him. The other moved up my back, my neck, then fisted in my hair, pulling my head to the side so he could continue his assault now on my collarbone.

Then he pushed into me, laying me back into his supportive arms so that he could trail kisses down by chest, on top of my shirt to between my breasts. I let out a frustrated grunt at the cloth barrier that was between me and his lips. He must have been thinking the same thing because I could feel him smile and let out a breathy laugh against me.

He pulled me back up against him again and we continued to kiss and grope and grind on each other, both of us too far caught up in our passion to be aware of our surroundings.

Just then, a gruff voice from somewhere down the street yelled, "get a room," effectively ending our make out session with the two of us snorting and giggling like little kids with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Come on," Edward chuckled, "let's get you inside before I have to start charging admission to our little show."

We both laughed harder, crawled off the bike and make our way toward Edward's apartment. I froze half way up the steps.

"Shit! You and your sexy bike made me forget all about stopping at my hotel so I could get cleaned up and changed." I looked down, suddenly mortified that I might smell like a sweaty horse.

Edward just laughed some more. "Don't worry about it, love. I'll find you some clean clothes and you can use my bathroom. I promise I'll be a perfect gentleman, that is if you want me to be," he smirked.

I bit my lip and gave him a playful sideways glance. "Okay. We'll see about the gentleman part."

He took my hand and we once again began climbing the steps to his domicile. Once inside I was very impressed.

It was a simple studio apartment, but it screamed of Edward's personality. The floors were hard wood and the walls were the same red brick as the outside. His kitchen area was full of what looked like brand new state of the art appliances and gadgets. Clearly I wouldn't be getting served hot dogs for dinner.

He pulled me inside by the hand so that I had a full view of the apartment. Around a corner I could see his bedroom area. He had white fluffy linens and blankets covering the bed with a few small pieces of furniture - a night stand and a dresser - accompanying his bed. There was a door tucked into the wall there, leading to what I assumed was the bathroom. On the opposite end of the apartment was his living room area - black leather couch and recliner, a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall, and one entire wall of shelving devoted to a huge stereo system.

But the most prominent feature of the whole apartment was in the very center. The floor was slightly raised there, creating a sort of pedestal where a striking black grand piano stood. My eyes stayed fixed on the sleek instrument as we walked in.

"I didn't know you played piano," I said in a breathy voice.

Edward stopped and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Yeah, my Grandmother taught me. It's kind of a release for me. Probably the one thing I do just for myself."

"Can I hear you play?" I was desperately intrigued.

"Um, sure," he relented. I walked with him and he motioned for me to sit next to him on the bench. He looked down at the keys and gingerly ran his fingers across them, as if silently reacquainting himself with an old friend.

"I've never played for any woman I've brought home before," he said, still looking down at the keys. I almost told him to forget it, but he spoke up again before I could. "You're different, though. There's something about you that makes me want to share everything with you."

Before I could react, Edward began playing for me. I smiled and bounced in place, recognizing the song right away - "In The End" by Linkin Park. He laughed as he continued to play what happened to be one of my favorite songs from memory.

"You're amazing, Edward. I love Linkin Park."

"Me too. I'm glad you like it."

He finished the song, then turned to me. "Let's get you cleaned up while I make us some dinner. How does chicken alfredo sound?"

"Delicious," I replied and licked my lips. That seemed to get his attention and he hesitated, eyes resting on my lips, before standing from the bench.

"Make yourself at home. I'll grab you some clothes, get the bathroom ready and draw you a bubble bath."

"A bubble bath?" Now he had _my_ attention.

"Well, yeah. You can't get your stitches wet, so showering is out. And who doesn't love a bubble bath?"

"You have a point," I conceded. "Prepare away." I motioned with my hand as if to shoo him away like a servant. He chuckled then disappeared in the bathroom.

I stood up and walked toward his stereo system. He had shelves upon shelves of CD's, everything from classical to classic rock, hip hop to hair bands. It was quite the collection. I was dragging my fingers along their spines when I felt arms snake around my waist. Edward pulled the collar of my shirt to the side and kissed my shoulder.

"Your bath awaits your highness."

I laughed. "Why thank you."

"I left you some clothes and towels in the bathroom. Everything else you might need is in there. What's mine is yours tonight, so use whatever you'd like."

"Thanks, Edward." I turned and gave him a quick kiss before making my way to the bathroom.

I walked in and shut the door to what was turned into my private oasis. He had an old claw-foot bathtub overflowing with strawberry scented bubbles. Their were dozens of candles lit and placed in every corner of the room. Several plush white towels hung from a rack near the tub.

I walked over to the counter next to the sink and picked up the clothes that he left there for me - one of his white tank tops and a pair of black cotton draw string pajama pants. He obviously knew my taste and was dressing me for comfort.

I slipped out of my clothes and stepped into the tub. I sat down carefully and let the leg with the stitches hang out over the side so it wouldn't get wet. I figured I'd just have to wash it with one of the wash cloths that Edward had left for me. The water was the perfect temperature and eased my aching muscles immediately.

I washed my hair with Edward's shampoo and then just let the bubbles overtake me. I laid my head on the back of the tub and let myself drift away in the delicious scent and the candlelight. I was so relaxed that I didn't hear him enter the room.

"Need some help?"

I didn't open my eyes.

"I thought you were going to be a gentleman."

"I said I would try, not that I would succeed."

Edward took a wash cloth from the rack and dipped it into the water next to me. I kept my eyes closed as he slowly moved the fabric up and down my injured leg with one hand, carefully avoiding my knee. With his other hand he was kneading and massaging the muscles in my calf.

He worked his way down to wash my foot, then dropped the wash cloth and began massaging it. When he finished with the first one, he went to the other, working all the soreness and tension away.

"Mmm…you're going to spoil me, you know that right?" I said in a sultry voice.

"That's my intention. If I only get you for one night, then I'm taking it upon myself to make it a night you'll never forget," he asserted.

With his declaration still lingering in the air, I felt his hand move from my foot and work it's way up my leg - to my ankle, my calf, the underside of my knee, all the way to my inner thigh - with one, smooth and painstakingly drawn out motion.

I opened one eye and cocked my eyebrow at him. He simply smirked and moved to position himself beside the tub, never moving his had from my thigh, only lingering there and tracing small circles with his fingertips. He brought his free hand up to cup my face then leaned in closer to me.

"My goal tonight is to make you moan my name before, during and after dinner by any means necessary," he whispered right before his lips met mine.

As he kissed me with slow, lazy movements, his hand moved forward, lightly brushing against me - both of my sets of lips were being teased mercilessly. Even in the water my core was slick for him, and as he slid two fingers inside me I moaned loudly against his lips. His tongue entered my mouth as he deepened this kiss, never ceasing his slow, fluid movement with his fingers.

He finally broke our kiss and made his way down my jaw to the hollow behind my ear. At the same time, his thumb found my bundle of nerves and began stroking with each thrust of his fingers.

"Oh, God…please don't stop," I panted.

I felt him smile against my neck, then he moved to whisper in my ear.

"Bella, you feel so good on my fingers."

The sensations were too much. My legs began to shake and my breath became short gasps. Never had I been so close to the edge in such a short span of time.

He doubled his efforts, pushing into me and rubbing me with more force. He was sucking and biting at the nape of my neck and gripping my hair with a clenched fist.

"Say it, Bella. I want to hear you say it."

I couldn't hold back any longer. "Oh, fuck…Edward…" I moaned as I shuddered and came on his hand.

He withdrew his fingers from me slowly, then moved his hands to smooth up and down my thigh. His lips met mine again in a long, slow kiss. Then, he began to lighten his touch as his fingertips moved all the way down my leg, leaving a feathery caress at the top of my toes.

"That was number one."

He pulled away from me and I heard him stand up. My eyes flickered open and found him standing there with a towel spread wide open for me. He smiled and winked. I giggled and hoisted myself up on wobbly legs to step out of the tub. Once out, he enveloped me in the oversized towel and began to dry me off, with occasional interruptions for kisses strategically placed on my body.

When I was most of the way dry, Edward ran his hands up my arms and looked down at me.

"I'm going to finish making dinner. When you've finished getting dressed, come on out, okay?"

I nodded and smiled, still not able to form any semblance of a sentence. He kissed my cheek, and walked out of the room shutting the door behind him.

_Yeah, like he needs to give me privacy now, after he had his hands…oh God, his hands…_

I sighed as I tried to compose myself and turned to look in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed and glowing and there was a permanent smile plastered to my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, knowing that when it did finally dry it would be too wavy and unruly to even bother with anything more. I threw on the clothes sans undergarments, blew out all the candles and walked out to the kitchen in my bare feet.

The smells coming from the kitchen were heavenly. I found Edward just plating our meals on the counter, also in his bare feet. I looked around to find a small candlelit table set for two. He set our plates on the table, then held out my chair and motioned for me to sit.

When I took my first bite, it was absolutely wonderful. "Oh Edward," I moaned as I chewed.

"That's two, love."

I held my hand over my mouth and started laughing. "That moan was specifically for your cooking, I don't think that one counted."

"Oh I think it did," he retorted. "I never said how I would get you to moan my name, only that you would. I'm very pleased that you find my cooking moan worthy."

"Yes I most certainly do find it moan worthy. This is the best chicken alfredo I have ever eaten - including my own, and that's saying something. A man that can cook," I mused, "that's a terribly rare thing. You are going to make some woman very happy."

"Well tonight, that woman is you I hope."

"Yes it is," I agreed.

We ate and drank wine and made small talk. Everything was extraordinary. As I watched him take another bite, his tattooed forearm came into view again, taunting me with those Chinese symbols. I just had to know…

"What does your tattoo mean?"

He looked down to his arm, then stretched it out on the table. He started with the symbol closest to his elbow and worked his way down. "Um, this one is the symbol for fire, the next two are for family, and the last are for friendship. It kind of represents who I am, and reminds me of who I need to be."

"I like it. I think is suits you. Sexy as hell, too."

"Is that so? Well then I guess you'd like the others, too."

"You have more?"

_Dear God, I'm going to combust right now._

"Yeah. I have a sun on my stomach around my belly button, a phoenix on my shoulder blade, and on my chest near my heart I have my Cullen family crest. Don't worry, you'll get to see them," he smirked.

"Is that a promise?"

"One that I intend to keep right now…if you're finished that is."

I nodded as he stood. He took my hand and roughly pulled me up to him. He kissed me deeply and passionately, holding me to him with his strong and sure arms.

**(Song suggestion: Stellar - Acoustic version - by Incubus)**

I broke the kiss and froze, shaking my head my only movement as I kept my eyes closed. "Edward," I breathed. I was suddenly overwhelmed with a fear that he wouldn't feel the same, the he would want more or less than I was able to give.

"Look at me, love," he whispered as his hand lifted my chin up. I opened my eyes to find his green ones dancing back and forth between mine.

"If all we have is tonight, then let me love you for just one night. I know we have separate lives and that being together for any longer than this one time will ultimately tear us apart. If either of us asked the other to give up the lives we've already built, we would regret it for the rest of our days. But that doesn't mean that we haven't shared an amazing experience - the mere hours I've spent with you have changed my life for the better. This doesn't have to be all or nothing or anything. This can just _be_."

His words were indisputable, and they also brought relief. It was okay to want him, to need him right now, and it would be okay to have tonight be all that we could give. There was no shame in what we were doing and what we were about to do. There was only trust, understanding, longing, and a little bit of some kind of love.

"This can just be…" I repeated in a whisper, just before my lips again met his.

Edward softly pushed me over to his bed, our lips never ending their connection. Once there, his fingers found the hem of the tank top and seamlessly pulled it over my head. I did the same, tossing his shirt to the ground. He stood there, eyes never leaving mine.

We were standing mere inches apart. He brought a hand up tuck my hair back behind my ear, then let his fingertips trail down…grazing across my now closed eyelids, my nose, my lips…chin…neck…along my collarbone…down to my breast…circling my nipple with a feathery light touch. My lips parted and I was taking in short gasps of air, overwhelmed at the sensations of only his fingertips.

**(Song suggestion: Sexual Eruption by Snoop Dogg)**

His touch abruptly left me and my eyes jolted open. Edward's head was tiled to the ceiling and he was biting his lip. He looked as if he were trying to hold back and I could tell that his resolve was failing. At that moment, nothing else mattered.

"Edward, look at me," I commanded.

His head snapped toward me and his eyes flew open, dark with lust and need. His breathing was ragged and mine was hastily becoming just as bad by simply looking at him in this state.

"I don't want to be treated as breakable tonight. I want you to fuck me, Edward."

His eyes widened and before I knew what was happening, clothes were flying in every direction - his, mine, I wasn't sure. The next thing I knew I was being thrown onto the bed and I could feel his warm body hovering over me. I wrestled him for dominance, finally wining out and feeling him underneath me as I straddled him.

I bent forward as he gripped my back and allowed him to assault my breasts with his mouth. He sucked on each one in turn, nibbling and tonguing my nipples. As he was distracted with my breasts, I reached underneath me to find him already hard and throbbing for me. He let out a low hiss and fell back on the bed as I slid his head back and forth between my wet folds.

His eyes looked down to where we were nearly joined, and his hands moved to my hips and gripped me tightly. With one quick push down with his hands, I was impaled onto him. Both of us let out an animalistic grunt at the force and sensation.

I moved so that I was sitting up, then resituated myself to slide up his length, then all the way back down in one smooth motion, making him fill me entirely.

"Fuck, Bella," he groaned as his eyes rolled back and he gripped my hips even harder. "You feel so fucking good."

Then his hands began guiding me in a forward and back grinding motion, keeping him buried deep within me nearly the whole time.

"Just like that, love. I want you to feel all of me," he growled.

As he spoke the words, his thumb found my clit and began circling slowly. I threw my head back and moved faster, grinding on him frantically.

"Oh God, I'm do close…don't stop…" I panted as I rode him harder.

I felt the spasm rock through my body, my walls clenching around him. I screamed his name and fell limply to his chest still trembling and shaking. He stayed inside me the whole time, only adding to my sensitivity. When I finally came down from my orgasm, I started moving on him again, moving my ass up and down making him slid in and out of me.

"You're fucking insatiable, woman. I love it. But this time I get to drive," he said in an almost evil tone.

He pulled out of me, but only for the amount of time it took for him to drag me out of the bed. He bent down, grabbed my ass and lifted me up with another growl, pressing me hard against the brink wall. Then he slowly let me sink down until his tip was hovering at my entrance.

I looked him straight in the eye and said again, "Fuck me, Edward…"

He didn't need a second invitation. He thrust himself up into me and my head flew back and hit the wall. His rhythm picked up a staggering pace and I knew it was only a matter of moments before he would reach his release.

"Shit…Bella, I'm so close…I need you to touch yourself, make yourself cum for me, love."

Without hesitation I reached my hand down to stroke myself. Seconds later I could feel my legs begin to tremble as my third orgasm violently ripped through my body. Somehow I found the will to form the words I knew would send him over the edge.

"Fuck…Edward…cum with me…"

"Ugh…Bella," he groaned and buried himself deep within me one last time. He shook violently with his release, digging his hands into my flesh.

Both of us were trembling and panting. I wasn't sure how he managed, but somehow Edward was able to carry me over to the bed, then we both collapsed onto the mattress, utterly spent.

We were laying about a foot apart, sideways on the bed, him on his back and me on my stomach. My head was turned toward him, pieces of my hair falling around my face. He mirrored me - deep green eyes holding my gaze through a shroud of bronze hair. A goofy smile started to creep onto both of our faces, and before long we were both giggling and laughing out loud.

Edward was the first to calm down enough to speak.

"I've never had that much fun having sex, " he admitted.

I agreed. "I know. Don't get me wrong, though - any sex where I am able to get off is good sex to me. But you're right, that was plain old fun," I drawled.

"Yeah, and it's fucking hot to hear you scream my name in that southern accent of yours," he laughed, and I smacked his arm.

"What was that for?," he said as he feigned an injury from my playful hit. "I'm telling the truth. It was very hot. And just for the record…that was number three."

**A/N: Please don't forget to check out the very first outtake, listed under the title "Alternative Notion" for an Emmett POV. **

**Thanks again for reading, hope you enjoyed your lemonade! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I do apologize for not updating sooner…life and all that sort of got in the way as it sometimes does. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate it more than you know! **

**This chapter is more of a transitional one, but still necessary to the overall plot. It'll answer some questions and leave you with others. The next chapter or two after this one will have a more humorous tone, and then we'll get into the thick of the angst after that. **

***wrings hands in anticipation***

**And now, on with the show…chapter 9.…**

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I woke late on Monday morning to the smell of strong coffee and soft sheets draped across my naked body. Images of the night before played in my mind, making me not want to open my eyes, but I quickly abandoned that concept when I rolled over and stretched to find that I was alone in bed.

I sat up and pulled the sheets to cover my chest. My hand ran over my face and through my hair in an attempt to rouse me from my sleepy haze. I sucked in a deep breath and scanned the apartment - nothing. Not a sound and no one in sight.

Panic rose in my chest as I thought about what I had done. It felt so right last night, but now, here alone, a feeling of rejection washed over me. It was ridiculous to feel that way since both of us agreed that we obviously couldn't pursue anything further than a one night stand. Nevertheless, I had thought that we meant enough to each other for him to face me this morning.

I beat the feeling of shame back down within me and set off to find my clothes, still wrapped in Edward's bed sheet, then headed for the bathroom. I ended up throwing on his white wife beater tank top, my own jeans and my button down shirt left hanging open. I cleaned myself up, splashing water on my face and using his toothbrush, before walking out into the kitchen. I found my phone laying on the kitchen counter right next to the still hot coffee pot. There were two cups sitting there, both unused, along with sugar, spoons and creamer.

_Huh. That's strange. If he wanted to avoid me, why would he put out two coffee cups? Did he have to leave suddenly for some reason? Was I that bad last night?_

I shook my head at my internal ramblings and flipped my phone open. I had five new text messages. Rosalie's message said that her and Alice were keeping tabs on "the boys" for me and not to worry. Jasper sent one text to check up on me. Emmett left two text messages.

The first read:

_U ok? Call me if u need me._

And the second:

_I know I said I was ok w/ this but Im worried. Call/text so I know u r ok._

I had to smile at my little group of friends. I sent the same text to all three of them:

_Rose - thanks. Boys - Im ok stop worrying. Will see you soon. Luv u all._

I hit send and closed the phone.

I leaned over to put my elbows on the counter top and let my head fall to my hands as I closed my eyes. I sucked in some deep breaths, but all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears as my thoughts ran wild. Which is why the voice next to me make me jump three feet in the air.

"You okay, love?"

I jumped and stood straight up, spinning myself toward the voice.

"Jesus, you shouldn't sneak up on people like that," I gasped, clutching my chest.

"Sorry…I just went out to grab some muffins from the bakery on the corner so we could have breakfast together. Didn't you get my note?"

My face contorted in confusion. "What note?"

Edward turned back toward the door, then reappeared with a piece of white paper, scotch tape still stuck to the top.

"This note. The one that I taped to the door so that you would know where I was and that I was coming back. The one that, judging from the hurt and shocked look on your face, you didn't get."

"No, I uh, didn't get it. I just thought you left me here, or needed to get away from me or something," I admitted, looking at my feet.

Edward set down the bag of muffins with the note and walked toward me. He put both hands on my shoulders, holding me square at arms length.

"Bella, look at me."

My eyes trailed up his body slowly until they met his exasperated face.

"What we shared last night was so special to me, not just some trivial one night stand. And even though you and I wouldn't logistically work, that doesn't mean I want to cut you out of my life."

"You don't?" I asked, still not convinced even though he was saying the words I desperately wanted to hear.

"Of course I don't. You're an incredible person, someone I'd like to call one of my closest friends. I love our talks and just being relaxed with you. It's amazing that we've had such a connection in such a short amount of time, but I believe that connection is real and I don't want to lose that. So, I don't know about you, but I'd like nothing more than to keep in touch with you in some form. I don't think I can go back to a life without you in it in some capacity."

"Oh Edward, I am so glad you said that. I was so afraid that you woke up this morning and thought we had made a mistake. I couldn't fathom the thought of having to leave here and never see or hear from you again," I confessed.

He moved his hand to caress my temple with the back of his knuckles, and leaned in to kiss my cheek. When he pulled back, he was smiling my favorite crooked smile.

"You don't have to worry about never hearing from me, Bella. I'll be calling you so much that you'll have to upgrade to a higher minutes plan on your cell. Plus I need you as an excuse to come and visit the lone star state for myself."

I giggled and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me back, nuzzling into my hair.

I started rambling like a little girl. "Oh my God! Edward, you're going to flip when you get to Texas - either that or go stir crazy. It's so different but still so amazing. I can't wait to show you the ranch and my favorite little hole-in-the-wall haunts and everything! When can you come down?" I was so excited I could barely contain myself.

Edward just laughed. "I don't know, but we'll make a plan before you leave here today. And then didn't I hear you say something about Las Vegas?"

My mouth dropped open. "You would do that…come to Vegas?"

"If you make it and qualify or whatever for your Vegas rodeo, I promise to be there. I wouldn't miss it. Well, that and all the strippers, I wouldn't want to miss them either," he giggled.

I slapped his arm and make a face of mock horror, but we both ended up laughing hysterically. He picked me up in a tight embrace and kissed my cheek again.

And that was that. All my fears about Edward and I were squelched as we ate our muffins in easy conversation. Overnight we had silently and willingly turned a corner as well. We had shared a very intimate and carnal encounter last night, but with the morning sun we had morphed everything into a simple and easy friendship. He didn't pin me against the wall, shove his tongue down my throat or grope me this morning. Instead we exchanged chaste kisses, friendly hugs and gentle touches.

**(Song suggestion: What a Difference a Day Made by Aretha Franklin)**

Edward had given me what I needed most at this particular point in my life - someone on the outside of my world who understood, someone that just got me - and I had given him the same. I knew I'd be calling on him often to help me hash through difficult times and he would undeniably be there for me, as I would for him.

It's funny how things fall into place. Yesterday I was worried that the gorgeous man across the kitchen table from me would complicate my love life even further, and yet that couldn't have been farther away from the truth. Edward had unraveled that mess for me in his own way. In a few days time, he showed me how to be happy and content with myself and my choices first and foremost, and that the rest would fall into place.

Everything about my New York experience taught me to let go, to love and embrace every aspect of myself first, because I couldn't love anyone else until I was happy with me.

My time with Edward went by too quickly, and before I knew it we were in front of my hotel. He drove me over on his motorcycle, but only after we had each programmed our phone numbers onto each other's speed dial. I also gave him Alice's number and told him to check up on her from time to time and he promised to do so. If she was Rose and Jasper's sister, then by default she was mine, too, and I felt better knowing that Edward would be in the same city if she needed a friend.

We shared a deep embrace standing there on the sidewalk, and he kissed my hand.

"Don't you dare hesitate to call me at all kinds of indecent hours of the night if you need someone to talk to," he demanded as he held my hand.

"I won't. You either - any time day or night. And don't forget - Vegas in December and then you're coming back to Texas with us to either celebrate or drown our misery at how bad we sucked."

"And you don't forget about New Years here - you have to do the Times Square experience at least once in your life. You and your friends can all crash with me and I'll show you how to really party," he said as he winked.

"Deal. Edward…thank you," I said softly as we hugged one last time.

"My pleasure, love. Anytime, you know that," he whispered in my ear.

As I walked away, I heard Edward's bike roar to life. I had to look back. I took in one more glimpse of my chiseled bronze-haired friend in all his glory as he sped away from the curb and into the bustling streets of New York. I smiled and sighed, then turned to walk back to the life I had always known and was now finally content to live.

_Sometimes a girl just needs to get out and live outside the box a little_.

When I finally made it to my hotel room it was around noon. I opened the door to find Emmett, still fully clothed from the night before, passed out face down on the bed. Jasper was unconscious as well, slumped over in a chair with a melted icepack over his crotch, apparently from nursing the pulled groin muscle he suffered the day before. There must have been a dozen or more of those tiny little bottles of alcohol and a bunch of Cheetos scattered about the room.

_Men. Ugh!_

I put my hand over my mouth to keep my snickering at bay and pulled out my phone. I thanked the heavens for technology, and snapped a picture of the scene with my phone, then immediately sent it to Rose. That shot was priceless and way too entertaining to keep to myself.

I snapped a couple more close ups - one of Jasper's inconspicuous icepack, and another of Emmett drooling on his pillow - then decided to take a shower and change into some fresh clothes. I let the sleeping beauties rest and slipped into the bathroom.

When I finished and made my way out of the bathroom, both of the guys were still asleep. I packed up most of my things, then decided it was time to for them to get up. I tried to wake Jasper first, removing the now warm icepack and gently brushing his blond, twisty hair from his eyes.

"Jazz honey, you've got to get up," I soothed.

He shifted his weight and his eyes slowly blinked open and began to focus. There was a wrinkle in his forehead, as if he was trying to decide if I was really there or if he could go back to sleep. I bit my lip to hide my smile at how cute he was just then.

"Bella? Are you back?"

I giggled. "No Jazz, you're still dreaming," I lied.

"Mmm…good. Because I didn't want to wake up," he said as he closed his eyes again.

I couldn't help myself. I had to know what he was dreaming about, and in his semiconscious state, I was pretty sure I could weasel it out of him.

"Jasper…what are you dreaming about?"

"You."

_Oh shit._

"What about me?"

"Mmm…your lips. I'm kissing you," he whispered.

"Is that right?" I asked. This was getting good.

Just then his eyes flew open and bore straight into mine. "No, but that doesn't mean I don't want to," he answered in a low, deep tone.

I gasped and nearly fell down, but strong hands flew up and held onto my shoulders keeping me upright.

"Jesus, Jasper! You scared the crap out of me," I yelled, forgetting all about the other sleeping body in the room.

"Wha-? What's going on," Emmett mumbled into his pillow, only bothering to prop one eye open.

Jasper just laughed. "Oh, Bella here thought I was talking in my sleep and I caught her trying to extract information from me."

Emmett rolled onto his back and started rubbing his eyes as he replied. "She apparently doesn't realize that she's the one who talks in her sleep, not you," he chided.

"Really…that's _very_ interesting," Jasper mused, leaning back in his chair and stroking his chin.

"Yeah, man," Emmett mumbled again, slightly more coherent. "One time she started talking about a teapot, unicorns and oatmeal raising cookies. All I could figure was that she was having one screwed up tea party in her head."

I turned around and shot Emmett a nasty glare. "I was seven when I had that dream and I thought we agreed never to mention oatmeal raisin cookies again!"

"Oh, but unicorns are still fair game then I suppose," Jasper giggled.

"Fine. You two go ahead and have your fun at my expense. Just remember hell hath no fury, and I know where you two will be sleeping for the next few weeks, so sleep with one eye open," I threatened. "Ooooh," they both mocked at the same time, feigning fear.

That did it for me. "You," I pointed at Jasper, "get your bow-legged ass out of here and pack your shit in your own room. And you," I spat at Emmett, "get up and shower off that hangover so we can leave on time. I'd like to actually get to wherever the hell we're going sometime in the next twenty four hours."

"Yes ma'am," Jasper drawled, then pinched just below my ass, making me jump and growl at him yet again. He just flashed his pearly whites and left the room.

I took that opportunity to start pushing Emmett to get out of bed. I grabbed his boots and started tugging them off. He opened one eye and craned his neck to see me. I took the other off, but left the socks - no way was I going to deal with stinky naked feet until he washed those puppies.

"You gonna help me get the rest of the way undressed, Mommy?"

I smacked the bottom of his foot - hard. "No, you incestual perv! Now get up and get in the shower. No way am I riding in cramped quarters for hours with you smelling like sweat, manure and alcohol."

"Alright, alright," he relented as he rolled out of bed. "Hey, what has you so chipper anyway?"

I stopped in my tracks. I didn't want to tell him that Edward had put me in this good mood with his vast sexual knowledge and skills. But as I thought more about it, my mood really wasn't related to the great sex I had last night at all. It had more to do with how I felt about me, how alive and truly awake I was for the first time since my parents' death. So, I told him the truth.

"I think I've just finally realized that it's ok for me to be happy again, Em. It took me six years and two thousand miles, but I am finally in a good place."

"Does Edward have anything to do with that," he mumbled, trying to hide his disdain by looking at the floor as he dug through his suitcase.

I walked over, grabbed his huge biceps, and turned him to face me. His eyes met mine and I could see so many different emotions on display that I couldn't decipher all of them.

"Yes, Edward did help me out a little. He's a good friend and I like talking with him. But the truth is that I couldn't have gotten to my happy place without you, Jasper, Rose and even Alice. All of you have been so great to me and have helped me out in so many different ways that I'll never be able to repay you guys," I tried to explain.

"So Edward is just a friend?"

And there was the loaded question containing the motive behind Emmett's funky mood swing.

"Yes, Edward and I are just friends. We talked a lot last night and we agreed that we that we were better off as platonic than anything else, so we agreed to keep in touch with phone calls and maybe some visits, but that's it, I promise," I assured him.

"Oh," Emmett sighed and his eyes left mine. He looked guilty and relieved at the same time. "I'm sorry, Bells. I jumped to conclusions. I just don't want to lose you, you know? You seemed like you were really into him, but I couldn't bear the thought of you living in some city thousands of miles from me."

"You won't get rid of me that easy,' I said as I threw my arms around him and he picked me up in his huge embrace. It always felt to good to be with Emmett, like home.

When he set me back on my feet, I knew just how to lighten the mood - with a line from one of his favorite movies, _Top Gun_.

I looked up at him with a sour expression, leaned in and took a big sniff. Then I backed away and used my best Tom Cruise impression. "Slider," I sniffed, "you stink!"

I snorted and Emmett let out a huge roaring fit of laughter, and everything was right between us again, just like that. He kept laughing all the way into the shower.

I used the opportunity to call Rosalie. She and Jasper would be riding with for the next few weeks, and I wanted to shore up our plans before we left. Rosalie was on vacation from her anchor job for the next few weeks. Even though they could afford to fly everywhere they went first class, the two Whitlock siblings always decided to spend their time with Emmett and I, whether that be in the cramped cab of a truck rolling down the highway, or spending time at the McCarty ranch.

It was great to have the company, and I was keyed up to see what adventures - and knowing the boys, inevitably what trouble - we could get ourselves into. There was never a dull moment when the four of us were together, because we always brought our own party with us. This week it was an exclusive club in NYC, next week it might be ho ho's and beer in a Motel Six, but together we could make any situation a good time.

Rosalie finally answered her phone on the third ring.

"Hey Rose, you almost ready to hit the road?"

"Damn straight. I'm all packed up, just saying goodbye to Alice while my lovely brother gets his shit together," she replied.

"Oh, that reminds me…send Alice up here before she leaves so I can say goodbye, too. Plus I want to give her Edward's phone number. I gave him her number already, and he agreed that he'd be there for her if she ever needed anything. It makes me feel better knowing that someone's going to be looking out for her here, you know?"

"Bella, I knew I loved you for some reason," Rosalie chimed. "I'll send her up. By the way, how was Mr. Delicious last night?"

"Definitely magically delicious, and that's all I'm going to say," I whispered as best I could. I didn't want Emmett freaking out over the gory details.

"That's my sex-kitten Bella! You'll have to give me the scoop when the boys aren't within earshot."

"I promise I will. Okay, see you in a few, Rose"

"Bye Bella."

A few moments later, Alice was at my door. I hugged her way too many times and gave her Edward's information, as well as mine and Emmett's. She took it all without hesitation, mumbling something about hot firefighter friends. I wished her luck, reminded her to call any one of us if she needed anything, and made her promise to visit Texas as soon as she got the chance.

Alice really was a great girl. As she walked down the hall to the elevators, I smiled and thanked fate for bringing us such a wonderful addition to our little "family".

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**(Song suggestion: I Woke Up In A Car by Something Corporate)**

A few hours later, after the rush hour traffic had cleared, we were headed out of the Big Apple, horses and trailer in tow. Emmett took the driver's seat for the first shift, swearing that he would keep his hangover at bay for at least a few hundred miles. I took the co-pilot position so that I could help him navigate his way out of the city with my trusty map and internet directions. Jasper - sporting a fresh ice pack - sat dozing directly behind me. Rosalie was engrossed in her laptop as she sat behind Emmett.

The crew cab back seat of the McCarty Ranch's pride and joy - the Ford F450 dually diesel Western Hauler customized truck - was extremely roomy and comfortable with it's heated leather seats and abundance of cup holders. The truck was completely drool-worthy to any cowboy or cowgirl that came within site of her.

Just outside of the city limits, my phone began to vibrate, signaling receipt of a new text message. It was from Edward.

_B careful, & good luck ur next stop. Call me if u get tired while u r driving, no matter what time. -E._

I had to smile. I was secretly wondering if he truly did want to pursue a long distance friendship with me, and that message alleviated my fears. I sent a message back to him immediately.

_Thanks, E. I'll be careful. Im the best late night driver, so u may b reconsidering ur offer when I call 2am! :* - B._

I shut my phone and watched as the last of the city lights faded away behind us.

I turned to Emmett. "You okay without a co-pilot for a while? If it's alright, I think I'm going to catch a few winks now so I'm more awake to drive night shift."

He glanced at me as he continued to drive. "Sure thing, Bells. I'm on this stretch of highway for a while, so I'm good. Come here," he said as he swung his arm out to rest on the back of the seat.

I smiled, kicked off my boots, then leaned over to tuck myself into Emmett's side. I stretched my legs out on the seat and laid my head on his broad chest as he draped his arm around me. We'd driven like this many times, and the combination of his warm embrace and the rocking of the vehicle always lulled me to sleep within minutes.

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**A/N: Please review! Next to come will be some fun times as the gang travels across the country in some cramped quarters. Hilarity will ensue! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Here comes the funny! The gang packed into a truck driving cross country for weeks… *evil grin***

**Just a warning…there are references to The Three Stooges, Star Wars, The A Team, Babe, munchkins and The Wizard of Oz, Bull Durham, and Dumbo. If you don't know what those things are, then I suggest you google and watch them all so that you're not left in the dark.**

**Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. If you think there is anything that I might improve upon, please don't spare my feelings and let me know what you want to see changed. I promise, I will get back to those of you who have reviewed - real life in the way lately and all that - so I figured getting you a new chapter would smooth things over between us. Still BFF's? ****J**

**On with chapter 10...**

I woke to Emmett's huge hand shaking my shoulder.

"Bells, honey, wake up. We're going in to get something to eat. You coming?" he asked softly.

"Mmm hmm." I stretched and yawned. "What time is it? Where are we?" I was barely coherent.

"It's about eleven at night and I have no fucking clue. Some truck stop with a greasy-looking diner," Rosalie whined as she exited the truck. I heard Jasper do the same and felt a gust of cool air blow through the cab.

"It's got character, Rose, maybe some of it will rub off on you," Emmett chided. Without hesitation she flipped him the bird.

I sat up and swung my legs out of the truck, still trying to fully open my eyes. Jasper walked over toward me with a smug look.

"Aren't you forgetting something, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Um…no?" I was way too tired to process anything.

"Don't think it'd be a good idea for you to be traipsing around the parking lot here in just your little white socks," he drawled.

"Oh, shit. I'm so not awake yet," I said as I shook my head and fished for my boots on the floor. I slipped them on, then we all walked into the all-night trucker oasis.

We sat at a table in the back corner, where the riffraff belongs. A forty something aged waitress squeaked her worn generic sneakers over to our table. She had on the cliché blue checkered skirt uniform and took a pencil from out behind her ear to take our order. "Hi, my name's Jane. What'll it be for y'all tonight?" she asked.

"Tonight feels like a flapjack night, ma'lady," Emmett grinned. "I'll have flapjacks with blueberries, please."

"I second that, ma'am," Jasper's twang rang out.

"I'll have the chicken noodle soup, please," I ordered.

"Chicken salad for me, thanks," Rose replied.

"Sure thing dolls…say, that y'all's truck and trailer out there?" the waitress asked as she nodded toward the window.

"Sure is, ma'am," Emmett stated proudly without breaking his stare and grinning widely at waitress Jane.

"Well it's gettin' away."

All four of us whipped our heads toward the window in synchronization and yelled, "WHAT!?"

My eyes caught sight of the beloved McCarty Mobile slowly rolling past the diner window. The boys flew out of their seats and scrambled over each other to get out the door.

By now every one of the fine diner patrons was clued in to our truck's plight. Our heads turned to follow the truck and trailer, pursued by two sprinting cowboys, past the window. Rosalie, waitress Jane and I all had the same open-mouthed look of shock.

Emmett was running, hands waving in the air yelling at the truck to stop itself.

Jasper had caught up to it on the passenger's side and tried to grab hold of the large side mirror so he could climb inside, but lost his footing - though still clutching the mirror for dear life - and ended up being drug down the lot.

Finally, Emmett reached the door, threw it open and dove head first onto the floor, slamming his hand onto the brakes. The jarring of the vehicle halting made Jasper lose his grip and he fell in a heap on the blacktop.

The whole scene looked like something from a Three Stooges episode.

I looked at Rosalie and she looked at me.

"Oh. My. God. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life!" she roared and she and I both burst into a tearful laughter. By the time the boys made it back inside, Rosalie, the waitress, me and the rest of the diner were in hysterics and tears from laughing at their circus-like high speed chase through the parking lot.

I was doubled over in the booth, clutching my stomach that was in pain from laughing to hard. Rosalie was slumped against the window, not able to keep herself upright with her violent quaking. The poor waitress was stooped down and clutching the end of the table, desperately trying to compose herself and failing miserably.

Jasper and Emmett sat down with a huff, their faces nearing a deep shade of maroon. The waitress found the will to get to her feet and the rest of us - me, Rose and the diner patrons - managed to tone it down to a persistent snicker.

Emmett just looked seriously at the waitress. "Lots of blueberries."

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A little while later, I was manning my post as the night shift driver as we drove across Pennsylvania via their wonderful, pot hole ridden Turnpike. Some of the holes were so bad I thought I might lose the entire rig inside one. We made our way through the narrow, winding and mountainous passages that someone who must have been drunk deemed an interstate, with Rose and Emmett in the back, Jasper by my side.

We were approaching the only part of this state highway that made us act like sugared up twelve year olds - the tunnels through the mountains.

"Almost tunnel time guys," I called to them. We'd been through tunnels like these before, and each time we'd act as if we were in the movie _Star Wars_ as we drove through the dim lights. We all slumped a little lower in our seats. I gripped the steering wheel with both hands, everyone else held their pretend wheels and began manning their fake x-fighters.

**(Song suggestion: Throw It On Me by Timbaland & The Hives)**

I looked in my rear view mirror to Rosalie. "Ok, Leia, the Empire is out of control. What's the plan of attack?"

Jasper interrupted before she could answer. "Uh uh, no way is she Leia, especially if I'm going to be Han Solo. That's just fucked up for me to mack on my own sister."

"Well then you can be Luke," Rosalie offered. "Besides, Luke does kiss his own sister and has dirty incestual thoughts until Han shows up."

"No way, I'm totally Luke Skywalker," Emmett scoffed.

"Well then Bella can be Leia, I'm good with that," Jasper grinned.

"And what does that make me? C3PO? I don't think so," Rosalie whined.

"No, Jaba The Hut," Jasper said under his breath, which Rosalie heard anyway and smacked the back of his head.

I broke up their fight. "Cut it you guys. I'm Leia because I'm driving and I'm controlling this fucking ship. Rose, you can be the Queen or R2D2 - either way we thankfully won't be hearing many lines from you." Jasper erupted in laughter at that one; Rose scowled. "Jazz and Em will have to fight it out for Luke and Han. Now, may the force be with you, bitches," I relayed as we entered the tunnel.

"We look like idiots," Rose scoffed.

"Shut up, Rose," Emmett teased. "The windows are tinted anyway so no one can see you actually having fun. Plus it's dark in here. Now aim your blasters for the damn death star."

I looked over at Jasper. He was staring out the window, completely lost in thought.

"You okay Jazz, I mean Han? Losing faith in the Millennium Falcon?"

"Just looking at these tunnel walls. I don't feel too safe going through a tunnel under a mountain that's being held up by shoddy bathroom tile."

Each one of us paused our play to look out our windows. I had never noticed before, but the walls of the tunnels were lined with small white ceramic tiles, though most of them were rotting and falling away.

Rose just smiled evilly at Emmett. "Luke, your Jedi ass better use the force to keep that tile in place."

I exchanged a worried look with Jasper, then hit the gas. If this waylaid relic was going to come down, I was going to try my hardest to get us out in time. No way was I going to have our coroner's report read "death by bathroom tile".

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It was nearing two a.m.. The group around me was fast asleep as I kept up a steady pace through the night. Jasper had tried to stay awake for me, but failed miserably after his second round of pain meds for his groin injury. I didn't object - I couldn't even imagine that kind of pain right near his manly bits.

Emmett had his head resting against the window. Every time I hit a bump, his head made a loud _thump_ against the glass. It was hilarious. He didn't even wake up, so I made an effort to aim for every pothole I could find just to keep myself amused and awake.

I decided that now was as good a time as any to take Edward up on his offer. The snoring and drooling A Team wannabe's beside me weren't helping at all, so calling in back up seemed like a great idea.

_Ring…ring…ring…_

"Hello, love. I was wondering if you were going to take me up on my offer," Edward chimed.

"Hi Edward. And of course I would. Everyone else is sound asleep and of absolutely no use to me right now, and the little white and yellow lines are beginning to wobble and blur together. So I was hoping you might be able to keep me mentally stimulated enough to stay awake," I practically pleaded.

"I'll sure try. What did you want to talk about?"

"Um, not sure. My mind is mush at this hour."

"How 'bout I start with telling you what I'm wearing…or rather, not wearing?"

My eyes widened. "Edward…" I started to protest, then quickly changed my mind at the visual I was getting. "Oh fuck it, that'll definitely keep me awake. Tell me."

I heard him let out a deep throaty laugh. "I'm not wearing a damn thing, and I was actually laying here in bed hoping that you would call."

"You're lying," I ventured, though I wasn't completely sure I should doubt him.

"I most certainly am not. You want me to hang up and send you a picture on your phone?"

"Yes. I want proof, mister." _Not to mention seeing that sexy body of yours again would make me…ugh…sigh…_

"Okay…" and then the phone went silent.

_No way he was already laying there nak-_

My phone chimed, interrupting my dirty, dirty thoughts.

_Holy shit, that wasn't even sixty seconds._

A few clicks later and I was staring at a photo of Edward's nakedness in all it's glory.

_Fuck. Me. Sideways._

He was standing in front of a full length mirror in his bathroom, holding his camera phone to the side to take the picture. Even though I had witnessed this incredible unadulterated man in person, that picture was absolutely priceless, and furthermore proof that I did indeed have a fuck-awesome experience in New York City.

I dialed his number back immediately. It rang only once.

"You thought I was lying didn't you?" he answered.

"You're damn right I did, but you definitely proved me to be an ass for not believing you. I will never doubt you again, oh master of nakedness."

There was more laughter on the other end of the line.

"So, now that you know that I wasn't lying, let me tell you what kind of mood I'm in."

"I've already seen exactly what kind of mood you're in. That photo leaves nothing to the imagination," I chuckled.

"Oh, I guess it doesn't," he said and I could almost see his sheepish grin. "So then let me tell you what I would do to you if you were right here next to me, naked as a jay bird," he lulled in a low tone.

"What's that?"

"I would lick and kiss every inch of your body," he said with certainty.

"_Every_ inch?"

"Every…little…inch. No millimeter left unexplored."

"Fuck," I breathed. I was definitely awake after that thought.

"Not yet, love. I'm not done licking you. But when I am finished with your tonguing, I'll slowly slide myself into you, teasing you with every one of _my_ inches."

"Shit, Edward…okay, I'm very awake, and now it's becoming difficult to drive for entirely different reasons," I blubbered.

"Well then I guess my mission is accomplished. Anything else I can do for you? Taxes? Psychic reading?" he teased.

"No, that'll do pig, that'll do," I slammed right back.

"Ugh…oh my God, I think I might, like, be offended or something," he said in his best valley girl voice.

I snorted. "Serves you right for making me horny when I'm driving in the opposite direction," I mumbled into the phone, not wanting my friends to hear my dirty conversation.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny. Call me if you need stimulated again," he snickered.

"Will do," I said as I shook my head.

"Be safe, Bella."

"You, too…be good, or name it after me!" We both giggled before hanging up.

I shut the phone and wiped my hand down my face. Leave it to Edward to be naked and awake at this ungodly hour. I'd never met anyone quite like him.

I had to laugh to myself - the rest of the cab was silent around me, completely oblivious to my near pornographic phone conversation. I thanked my lucky stars for keeping my friends in their deep slumber, sparing me from the twenty questions that surely would have ensued had they been awake to hear my little chat.

_Rosalie would never have let me hear the end of that shit._

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One week later…

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On the road again. We had just left another successful rodeo in Ohio and were headed west to the next stop on our little tour. Just outside of Toledo, we all decided to stop at a _Red Robin_ for some quick dinner.

On the way out, needless to say, everyone had to take a helium balloon since they give them away for free. Rosalie and Jasper proceeded to beat and smack each other over the head as they ran back to the truck. Emmett and I were too busy trying to untie the end of the balloons so that we could suck out the helium.

Five minutes later, every one of us were sucking the humor inducing gas from the little pink latex orbs. Jasper was driving this time, and we were all bouncing in our seats, singing _Lady Gaga's _song _Love Game _in our high pitched voices.

Big, brawny Emmett was the most hilarious, shimmying, shaking and singing "Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!"

We were all doubled over laughing when someone let go of their balloon, causing Jasper to swerve across the yellow lines a few times as he tried to avoid the latex assault. Thankfully, there were no cars near us on the road. Unfortunately, the only vehicle that was near us was parked on the side of the street…with red and blue flashing lights attached to it's roof. I know, because we got to see them first hand.

Jasper quickly pulled over as we all tried to hide our snickering. The officer made his way to the driver's side window and Jasper handed him his license, the truck's registration and insurance.

And then it happened. Somewhere along the way Jasper must have forgotten the two and a half balloons worth of helium he downed just seconds earlier, because he opened his mouth and began to speak in that high pitched voice to the state cop.

"What seems to be the problem officer," he squeaked.

We utterly lost it.

Rosalie snorted and covered her mouth. Emmett openly guffawed and slapped his knee. I bent over and clutched my head in my hands, my shoulders silently shaking up and down. I almost peed myself even more because everyone's laugh was still in that shrill tone.

The officer bent down and scanned over each of us with his judging eyes. Then he inhaled deeply. "Have you all been smoking some reefer, son?" he asked Jasper with a pointed glare.

"No Sir," he replied, still in the munchkin voice. He tried clearing his throat, which only made his accent crack. "We were just playing with balloons when one got away."

"Balloons?," the policeman asked skeptically.

Jasper held one of the shriveled pink offenders up between his two fingers. "Helium balloons," he reiterated, his voice finally coming back to normal.

The very stern looking cop rubbed his face with his hand and leaned back on his heels, contemplating. Then he handed Jasper his license and paperwork, finally relenting. "Alright. You keep it between the lines, son. No more balloons," he declared as he pointed his finger at Jasper.

"Sure thing, officer. Thank you," Jasper assuaged, his normal drawl back in place. He was still the only one of us that was managing to keep a straight face.

The trooper walked back to his cruiser shaking his head and then sped away. I could only imagine what he'd be telling his fellow officers at the barracks tonight.

Emmett turned to Jazz, and still in his own munchkin voice said, "whoa, that was close. Okay, onward Toto! Follow the yellow brick road!"

_Snort…snicker…giggle…_

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A few hours later, Jasper was beginning to get unusually tired. The traffic was so bad, however, that we couldn't find a suitable place to pull over the truck and trailer to switch positions.

Emmett, master of all great ideas, came up with the best one yet.

"We'll just do a Chinese fire drill," he proclaimed.

"A what?" Rosalie asked.

"Chinese fire drill. When we get to a red light, Jasper will put the truck in park and we'll all jump out the doors, run around the truck and switch positions before the light can change back to green." Rosalie looked at him like he had grown a third eye, but he continued doling out orders without missing a beat. "Bella, it's your turn to drive. Jasper go to the passenger seat. And Rosie, you and I will get in the back," Emmett instructed.

"Why can't Jasper and Bella just trade by crawling over the seats or something? I really don't think running around the outside of the truck is all that necessary if you ask me," Rose griped.

"Oh, Rose, just do it. It'll be fun," Jasper coaxed. The way those two bickered left no doubt that they were brother and sister.

"Fine. I'll get out of the truck and run around like an idiot just like the rest of you. This is completely moronic, you know that right?" she directed at me.

"I know it, but I definitely don't care," I giggled.

_This is going to be good._

At one of the hundred traffic lights on this exhausting stretch of highway, Jasper finally pulled to a stop at a red one.

He threw it in park just as Emmett yelled, "Go!"

I jumped out my door and sprinted around the front of the truck, slamming into and bouncing off of Jasper in the process. Emmett cheated and just did a flip over the front seat, landing in a pile of denim and muscle in the back. And the last I saw Rosalie, she was headed toward the very back of the trailer.

In the rush I lost track of everyone. I jumped into the driver's seat and slammed the door, Jasper doing the same on the passenger's side.

"It's green! Go, Bella," Emmett yelled and I started pressing on the gas. That is, until I heard a familiar voice calling out my name from outside.

"Bella! Damn-it, stop the fucking truck! Hey!"

I looked into my side mirror to see Rosalie's blond hair flowing behind her as she ran down the highway beside the trailer, hysterically waving her arms in the air and screaming. I started slowing down just as she dove, head first, for an open window, landing directly on top of Emmett with an "Oaf!".

"Oh my God! Rose, I thought you were already in here! I am so sorry," I apologized in the rear view mirror.

"Where the fuck were you?" Jasper grilled and laughed at the same time.

Still trying to catch her breath, Rosalie struggled to untangle herself from Emmett. "I was running around the fucking vehicle, ass wipe! Where did you think I was?"

Emmett couldn't stop giggling. "You weren't supposed to run around the whole trailer, Blondie," he teased. She hit him - hard.

"Ouch!"

"You fucking deserved that! You didn't even get out the truck you bastard! I almost got run over by yellow a Volkswagen," she screamed.

Jasper was laughing hysterically, now completely wide awake. I snorted and tried to keep my composure enough to continue driving. Emmett and Rosalie at last managed to get themselves in an upright and seated position. Her face was beet red and there was a little perspiration around her hairline. I had to bite my lip to keep from snickering again as I looked at her in the rearview mirror.

With a deep breath, Jasper slumped back into the seat beside me. He let his head fall back onto the headrest, then rolled it to the side to peer back at a still fuming Rosalie. His smile deepened as he took in her sulking form.

Then he looked to me and I just had to glance over at that killer smile of his. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "Gotta love the Chinese and their odd traffic light customs, right Rosie?"

Emmett and I chuckled.

Rose just shot her brother an "if looks could kill" glare.

"Fuck off, Jasper. Maybe next time the truck tries to escape out of the parking lot it won't miss you. How's that groin by the way?"

"Peachy, Sis. How's your ego?"

"Deflated."

"Just like my groin," he groaned.

Rosalie smiled. "Thank God for _little_ miracles."

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_There must be something about fucking red lights._

Here we were, another two weeks had gone by since our last traffic signal experience and we still couldn't get away from them. I think we hit every single one…everywhere we went.

It had only been a few weeks on the road and thankfully we hadn't all killed each other yet. But today, I was seriously contemplating putting Emmett out of his misery.

We pulled up to an unusually long red light in the middle of some town, city, whatever - they were all blurring together at this point. Emmett was messing with the CD player, trying to find another rap song to drive the rest of us insane with, when a tricked out, fire engine red, Mitsubishi Eclipse pulled up beside us, base thumping, doors rattling, and three teenage boys with their hats turned sideways perched inside.

I looked over to my best friend. He had that look, and I knew what was coming.

"Oh no they didn't," Emmett swayed his head like some drag queen.

"Uh, Em, I don't think they were personally challenging you," I tried to explain, but it was no use.

"Doesn't matter. They're disrespecting my boy Fifty by playing it in that sub-par system that little foreign car has," he retorted.

Just then I saw Emmett reach down and flip a small switch underneath the stereo. Then he found the song he wanted and turned up the volume.

I braced myself for Fifty Cent's song _A Little Bit._

_Boom… ba-bump-bump…boom…ba-bump-bump…_

Emmett's system in this truck was his own personal secret baby. An illegitimate child with speakers. He had thousands of dollars tied up in amps, speakers, woofers, tweeters, and who the hell knows what else.

A southern gentleman with a base fetish.

He leaned back in the driver's seat, threw his arm out the open window, then smirked down at the teenage boys next to him as he bobbed his head. They stared back, open mouthed and shocked at the level of music throbbing in the truck's speakers.

"That's right, bitches," Emmett taunted, "diesel and base most certainly do go together."

The light turned green and we peeled out, leaving the little boys dejected and in a cloud of black smoke from the custom microchip doing it's duty in the truck's engine. Emmett was proud as a peacock. All the rest of us could do was shake our heads at his obsession.

A few minutes later, however, his ego took a hit, just like one of the truck tires.

Somehow we must have run over something sharp, and the front tire had blown out completely. Luckily we always carried two spares - one for the truck and one for the trailer - in case of just such an emergency. Emmett eased the truck over to an emergency pull off down the road a bit and we all exited the vehicle to survey the damage.

"Fucking tire," Emmett cursed as he knelt down and began to loosen the lug nuts. Jasper was standing over him, handing him the necessary tools.

A few minutes went by and the offending tire was almost free when Jasper decided to make an observation.

"You know, people just don't care anymore like they used to," he whined.

"Yeah," Emmett joined in the bitch fest. "People used to stop and offer to lend a hand if they saw another guy was in trouble along the road. Now nobody gives a shit. They just keep speeding down the highway in their own little bubble."

"Bastards," Jasper confirmed.

I looked at Rosalie. Her face confirmed my internal thoughts.

"You know," I chimed in, "I bet if it were just Rose and I here along the road someone would stop to help."

Both guys stopped what they were doing to stare at me.

"She's right," Rosalie agreed. "I bet we could get someone to stop and help us if you two macho men weren't here doing all the work."

"Okay, we'll take that bet," Emmett announced.

"Wait, what?" Jasper was confused.

"They think they can get someone to stop, and I happen to think people are too self-absorbed to care about stopping no matter who's trying to change the tire. So we're going to take that bet. Besides, Bella and Rosie know how to change a tire themselves anyway," he reasoned.

"Well, then what are the terms of this bet?" Jasper asked.

Emmett spoke up immediately, grinning from ear to ear. "If we win, and nobody stops to help, then both of the girls have to moon the car of our choosing at any point along the trip. Vise versa if they win."

"Done. Rose and I will take that tire iron, thank you," I declared as I held out my hand. "Now go hide in the bushes or something."

**(Song suggestion: Go Girl by Pittbull)**

The boys turned around and sauntered over to wait in the bushes, hidden from view but close enough should be need help. I turned to Rosalie and raised my eyebrow. She smirked and nodded. Both of us had been wearing cotton shorts, to which we promptly rolled the waistbands to make them hike up our thighs. I pushed the long sleeves shirt, then took the hem and tied it in a knot at my waist, exposing my midriff. Rosalie's tank top was already tight enough to not need tweaking. As the final touch, both of us let our hair down to flow around our shoulders.

"That's cheating," a deep voice from the bushes boomed.

"You said we had to get someone to stop and help us, you never said how," I yelled back.

I crouched down with Rosalie and we both began shimmying the destroyed tire off. Not ten seconds later, the first car slowed to a stop in front of us.

"Need some help there, ladies?" a thirty-something guy with a dark mustache called from the window of his Honda Civic.

"No thanks, we've got this," Rosalie said as she smiled overtop of me. I stifled a giggle.

A few seconds after he pulled out, another car took it's place. This time it was a mini van full of kids, and apparently "Dad" had to convince his wife that his reason for stopping was purely out of the goodness of his heart.

"But dear," we heard him mutter to his wife before he got out of the van, "if it were us you'd want someone to stop and help, right? I'm just doing the Christian thing here," he finished his speech as he shut the door, then began walking toward us.

"You girls look like you could use a hand," he said in what I'm sure was supposed to be a low sexy voice. And the guy wasn't too bad looking - maybe late twenties, short but muscular, brown hair, blue eyes and a hint of stubble.

Just then one of the kids from the van leaned out the window. "Daddy! I gotta go to the bathroom," he screamed.

Rosalie snickered and turned away.

I managed to keep a straight face and looked up at the now red-faced guy. "Um, thanks for stopping, but we've got everything under control here."

"Right. Well, just wanted to, um, do my, uh Christian duty and everything," he stammered as he walked back to the rowdy bunch and a pissed off wife in the minivan.

When he finally drove away, I knew Rosalie would have something to say.

"You know, it's too bad he couldn't keep his dick in his pants or covered long enough not to procreate so much. Or at least not marry the girl. He wasn't too bad of a specimen," she concluded just as we were shoving the new tire in place.

"Yeah," I agreed as my eyes glazed over, "but I bet he's going to be nothing compared to what comes out of that…" I said as I pointed to the very large bus that pulled in next, because written on the side in big, bold letters was "Altoona Curve, AAA Minor League Baseball Team".

"A bus…" I stammered, "a bus…full of hot, young men in their prime…"

I think I might have started panting.

The bus doors swung open and three of the players came bounding out.

"Rosalie Whitlock, is that you?" one of the strapping young men called.

I turned to look questioningly at her, to which she replied, "What? Like I've said before, ESPN has it's perks. Plus I went through this whole baseball phase and I sort of, um, helped out some of the up and coming players," she said in a matter-of-fact albeit whispered tone.

"What, like fucking _Bull Durham_?" I asked.

"Something like that," she smirked as she stood up and extended her arms toward the lead baseball boy. "Marcus, you devil! Still traveling around with the Curve I see. Thought you got called up last year."

Marcus gave her a big hug, lifting her off the ground and against his young, hard body. "I did, but the shoulder was acting up a bit, so they bumped me back down until I heal up some. Say, do you need some help with that tire?" Just then another six or seven - I lost track because of the degree of magnificence of every one of their bodies - very hot, very fit men stumbled off of the bus.

_Ha, haha, Hahahah…_

"Yes," Rose replied, "as a matter of fact we do."

As soon as Marcus bent down to retighten the lug nuts, she shot a glare into the bushes that told Jasper and Emmett they better keep their distance if they didn't want to suffer her wrath.

"Here, Miss Rosalie. You can use my shirt to wipe off your hands," one of the other players said as he peeled his shirt off and handing it to her, exposing his young, rock hard body. He smirked, and so did Rose and she mercilessly cleaned her grimy hands on the white fabric.

"You can use mine if you'd like, beautiful," another player - this one with stark blond hair, pale gray eyes and the face of a Roman God - said as he walked toward me, not removing his shirt but holding the front hem out in an offering. I smiled and walked right up to him, exuding New Bella confidence. I grabbed the shirt and began wringing my hands through it, then grazed up and down his - _ohmyfuckinggod - _chiseled six pack abs with my fingertips as I straightened it back out.

"Thank you, um…"

"Aro. My name is Aro."

"Well thank you, Aro. That was very thoughtful of you," I cooed.

"Yes, very thoughtful," Rosalie said while looking through her lashes at Marcus.

Ten minutes and several newly acquired cell phone numbers later, the tire was changed and the team was back on the bus and pulling out onto the highway. Rosalie and I walked around the truck toward the now grumbling bushes.

Emmett just stomped back to the truck trailed by a snickering Rosalie. "Not only did we get _a_ car to stop, but we got a whole fucking bus load of baseball players to help us! Priceless," she exclaimed.

Jasper strode right up to me, stopping within inches. He was definitely in my personal bubble. I looked up into his hazel eyes as he stared back into mine. He had one eyebrow raised and a piqued expression on his face. Without breaking eye contact, he licked his lips, then brought his hand to the front of my shirt. His fingers grazed my exposed stomach every so slightly before settling on the knotted fabric and slowly pulling it loose.

"I won't be able to sit still next to you for the rest of the trip if you keep your shirt tied up like that, sweetheart. You're way too tempting," he nearly whispered.

Then he took a step around me and sauntered back to the truck without looking back.

_Um…whoa. That was…yeah. Breathe._

Moments later we were back on the road and I was determined to find the perfect car for the boys to moon. Cruising down the freeway, I spotted my target. It was a purple PT cruiser that just happened to have a pink bumper sticker that read "my boyfriend is hotter than Robert Pattinson"…and it was full of guys.

I flew forward from my seat in the back and pointed over top of the boys at the purple PT. "That one! That's the one you have to moon!"

Rosalie lunged over to get a better look, then started howling. Emmett and Jasper looked at each other, then looked back at me from the front seat.

"Well I can't do it now, I'm driving," Emmett copped out.

"Ha, ha! That leaves you, Jazz," Rosalie bellowed.

Jasper scrunched his brow before putting on a determined look. "Do it, Emmett. I'm going to get this shit over with. Besides, I'll be showing them my best side anyway," he said, now directed at me and gave me a wink.

Emmett chuckled then pulled into the passing lane. He slowed to match the speed of the little cruiser next to us, then honked the horn. Jasper knelt on the seat, undid his buckle, and pulled his jeans down to show his perfect white ass as he pressed it against the window glass.

Jasper hung his head and shook it, becoming red-faced. The rest of us were red-face from lack of oxygen, that's how hard we were laughing. I managed to peek out the window at the PT cruiser to see all four of it's occupants pointing, waving, bouncing in their seats and otherwise ogling Jasper's shapely ass. They started honking their horn and rolled down their windows.

Jasper pulled up his jeans and sat down, unable to face his audience. But I was facing them, and I almost didn't believe what happened next.

One of the guys in the back seat had his window rolled down and was kneeling on his seat…his pants _all_ the way down around his ankles. And through the window, flapping in the breeze, was his proud rig and tackle.

I started to hit Rosalie next to me, unable to form words or take my eyes off of the piece of manhood on display. But the fact that it was on display wasn't what had me so tongue tied.

"Tattoo…tatooo…" I stammered, unable to form any more of a coherent sentence.

Around his pretentiously shaven pubic area was a tattoo…of an elephant…with a very conspicuous 3D truck.

"OH. MY. GOD. Is that an elephant with a dick truck?" Rosalie exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" the boys screamed in unison as they both turned to look.

I just sat there with my mouth open, staring at the trunk of the wild beast blowing in the wind - pun intended.

_What the fuck?! I have now officially seen everything._

Jasper broke our stunned silence with a revelation. "I'll never watch _Dumbo_ again."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, we finally arrived at our next location - somewhere in Nebraska for a smaller, middle of the week rodeo. Every little bit of money earned helped us all in the standings, so we tried to hit every one we could if it was it was more or less along our route. Emmett had the entire trip planned like some kind of neurotic savant, complete with little red dots marking all of our little stops along well worn maps of each state we canvassed.

We each made our trips and each one of us actually came away with at least one win. Climbing the standings was becoming easier, and we were all pretty well off as far as qualifying for the NFR went. I was sitting in ninth now, Jasper was still winning his events and Emmett was in the top five. Soon we'd be able to head back closer to home to finish out the rodeo season in the west.

It was getting pretty late and we were all very tired. So we decided to put the horses up in some empty stalls at the fairgrounds where today's rodeo was held and headed to a cheap motel - we had no other choice in this very rural town. They only had one room available and fortunately it did have two double beds so no one had to sleep on the floor.

Normally Emmett and I had no problem sharing a sleeping space, but Rosalie refused to sleep next to her brother. Therefore, she ended up with Emmett and I was to sleep next to Jasper. We were all so close, I really didn't think anything of it, though Emmett had a disgruntled look on his face when Rosalie announced the sleeping arrangements. I just shrugged and went with it. I trusted them, after all.

It was a warm, muggy night. The clouds hung low, dark and full of moisture. You could see small flashes of lightning in the distance, carrying with them the hope for some kind of relief from this suffocating pressure.

The rest of my friends were all settling into bed. Rosalie was setting ground rules for Emmett when I informed her of his cover stealing habit, which Emmett was vehemently denying. Jasper was just coming out of the bathroom, fresh from his shower, clad in a pair of low slung khaki shorts that left the top of his baby blue pinstripe boxers exposed.

I looked up at him as he strode toward me. I sat on the edge of the bed as he past me to put his toothbrush and razor away in his suitcase.

I couldn't take it. The air was too close in here. All at once I just felt jittery in my legs and arms. I knew I was scowling and fidgeting, and I couldn't help it. I was restless, I was tired, but knew I wouldn't be able to sleep well in this heat.

The scrawny motel manager was gracious enough to supply us with a fan since an air conditioner seemed to be too technical of a devise for his taste. The window was open, the dingy curtains blowing into the room with the air from the fan.

Finally I relented to my squirming, got up and made a beeline for the door. "I need to head out for a walk. I'll be right back," I announced to no one in particular as I grabbed one of the old metal keys and strode out the door.

Once outside I took a deep breath. It was like inhaling pure moisture. Even in the tank top and the rolled down pair of Emmett's boxers that I stole last year felt like too much clothing. I huffed, wiped the sweat from my forehead and walked down to a bench that was in front of the lobby and next to a Pepsi machine. It was giving off the only light since the check-in office had long since closed.

I leaned back and pressed my head against the cool white cinder block wall behind me. Even with my eyes closed I could still make out the small flashes of lightning that were in the distance. I was still feeling restless, though, and I couldn't get my head to center around a single thought. It wasn't that I was experiencing any one particular emotion or having a dilemma of any kind. Things just didn't feel right tonight and I couldn't place it.

I must have been lost within myself, because I didn't feel anyone approaching until a rough finger wiped a bead of sweat from my temple. My eyes flickered open to see Jasper in front of me, now sporting a black tank top.

"Is something wrong, sweetheart?" he asked.

I closed my eyed and shook my head infinitesimally. "No, just don't think I can sleep in his heat."

He nodded toward the approaching storm. "Looks like we'll get some relief soon. That storm looks like it's going to pack some heavy rain with it by the sight of those clouds."

"I hope so. I love the rain. Though I'm not much for the lightning and thunder that accompanies it."

"How can you love the rain and hail from Texas?"

I flashed a small smile. "I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I love Texas and everything, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a place where you could smell wet ferns all the time, you know? Like that fresh smell that the rain brings when it washes everything clean. Maybe Seattle, or somewhere nearby."

Jasper sat down next to me and leaned back, mimicking my position. "I could see that. I just always thought you'd stay in Midland forever."

I didn't even ponder that for a moment before I answered. "I never really thought about leaving Midland. Never had a reason to," I murmured. Then I realized what I said and how it could be construed. Somewhere tonight the filter between my brain and my mouth had dissolved and whatever I was thinking had just come spewing from my mouth.

**(Song suggestion: Forever Dream by Iron & Wine)**

Jasper sat silently for a moment before a loud crack of thunder made us both jump and sit up straight. Without a word, he slipped his arm behind my back and pulled me by the waist so that I was up against him. I didn't resist - I turned and leaned into him, placing my head on his chest and moving my hands to encircle him. His free hand lifted to brush the stray hair from my loose bun back behind my ears. Jasper holding me felt good…right…and finally my jitters began to subside as his soothing presence enveloped me.

"Bella," he said softly. I nodded my head, not trusting myself to keep my internal thoughts from flying out of my lips.

He sighed, and I felt his fingertips start to slowly rub up and down against the exposed skin at my hip. "Bella I have to tell you something. While we're here…alone."

I felt my breath catch in my chest. I didn't know if I could handle what was coming next.

He kissed the top of my head and pulled me even closer to him with his strong arms. "I've had the chance to travel around a lot. I've seen so much, met a lot of different people, done amazing things. I've dared to dream and dream big, and I've always gone for my dreams head first. But, I never dreamed that I'd have somebody like you in my life."

The heavens slowly opened up, and small droplets of rain began to fall down. The rest of the world became silent as only the sounds of the storm and our breathing filled the air. A small flicker of lightning lit up the sky, forcing me to blink out of my stare. My heart was pounding and my breathing was shallow…so was his.

I couldn't say anything, I just waited for him to continue.

He caressed my cheek and lifted my chin so that I had to pull my head away from his chest to look up at him. His hazel eyes were dancing back and forth between my deep brown ones, searching for something. I didn't know what he was looking for, and I didn't know what he'd find either.

"You're so beautiful. I've wanted to tell you for so long, but I couldn't find the words or the right time, but…Bella…"

"Jasper…"

As low rumble of thunder hid my small moan as his lips softly pressed to mine. His thumb moved slowly across my cheek and his grip on my waist tightened even more. Our lips moved together slowly and softly, breaking only to let out small gasps of air.

His tongue tentatively moved out and stroked across my bottom lip. It was the most sensual feeling I had ever experienced. I was entirely lost within this kiss. I opened my mouth slightly and let my tongue just barely graze his. I felt his warm breath wash over my face as he let out a moan at the sensation.

The rain came down harder and a bolt of lightning crashed around us, causing me to jump away. My frantic eyes met his and suddenly I couldn't look any more. I pulled away and started walking briskly through the rain and into the parking lot, holding my head in my hands.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God…what have I done? What does this mean? What about…what about…_

And I couldn't believe where my thoughts had taken me.

_Emmett._

Now I was more confused than ever. Why was I thinking of my best friend in that kind of way? There was nothing wrong with what Jasper and I were doing, and yet I felt as if I was betraying Emmett somehow.

Jasper caught up to me in the now downpour, grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him.

"Bella, what's wrong? What did I do?" His voice was dripping with concern, and his twisted blond locks were dripping with rain.

I couldn't look at him. I shook my head. "I don't know, Jasper…I don't know if I can do this. What about…what about Emmett? He promised me and I promised him…" I started to sob as I held up my pinkie ring. Jasper knew what it meant - Emmett had told him - but the look on his face was understanding, not hurt or shocked.

"Sweetheart, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong. I talked to Emmett before I came to find you out here. His exact words to me were 'you're the only one I would trust with her, Jazz' and he told me to take care of you, and I will, Bella, I promise I will. I'll never stop taking care of you," he said as another roar of thunder escaped the sky.

I was shaking now, from the rain, the thunder and from my sudden internal battle. Jasper reached up and gripped my biceps with both of his hands and bent his head down to look at my face. When he spoke, it was resolved, almost yelling.

"Damn-it, Bella…I'm in love with you, can't you see that?"

I blinked through my tears and the rain streaking down my cheeks. I searched his face and found desperation, need, concern, and…love. It was there, written in his eyes and his features and just everything about him.

_He love__s me. But, do I…?_

I don't know which made my the decision - my heart or my head or my body - or what exactly my decision really was, but I suddenly found myself lunging into him. My lips crashed into his just as the next rip of thunder and lightning crashed around us. My hands tangled in his soaking hair and his were fisting the drenched tank top that was clinging to my body. The rain was driving down onto our faces, making our kiss slick and wet.

His mouth ground against mine with an urgency I've never felt before. He needed this just as I did, and the release it brought was still maddening. I was pressed up against him, feeling every minute curve of his body drawn to mine. We pushed and pulled at each other, fighting a battle for dominance that neither of us wanted to win.

The rain was just as warm as his mouth as it enveloped mine, and the heat our bodies were producing was more than enough to take my blood near the boiling point. Nevertheless, my body broke out into goose bumps and I shivered, causing Jasper to pull away panting.

He rested his forehead on mine and clenched his eyes shut as if he was waging war not with me, but with himself. When he opened them, his jaw tensed in a tight line.

"You're shivering, let's get you inside," he said with reluctance. "We need to get out of the rain."

I simply nodded, still not able to form a single sentence, though I wasn't trembling from the temperature; it was his touch, the way he knew exactly where to I needed to be touched and held and squeezed that turned me into a pool of wobbly jell-o.

"Come on," he said as he took my hand in his.

We ran back to the door of our room where I nearly ran into him, he stopped so abruptly. He spun around to face me and pulled me close again, and we were now shielded from the weather by an overhang that ran around the building.

He bent down to whisper in my ear. "Please…please tell me what you're thinking. I have to know before we go through that door."

I looked up at him with big doe eyes. My brain was of no use to me right then, making it even more difficult to get words to come out of my mouth.

"Jazz, I…I don't know what to say. I want you…I want to be with you. But I need to take this slowly. I don't want anyone to get hurt…"

"You mean Edward?"

I shook my head and looked down to the ground.

"Oh. Emmett."

This time I nodded. "Look, I know what he said to you, but I just need to talk with him on my own first, okay? He's been through so much with me, everything really, and I just…I just…" I stuttered as I fought back tears again.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'll keep my affections to myself until you've had a chance to talk with him. But really, I wouldn't have even kissed you tonight if he hadn't given me the green light before I even came out here to find you. Trust me, he's going to be okay."

"Okay."

Jasper nodded once, then brushed the hair that was stuck to my face out of my eyes before opening the door.

I stepped in to find both Emmett and Rosalie asleep on their bed. Emmett flopped in his usual face down position and Rosalie was on her side, facing away from him.

We didn't turn on the lights as we walked in, and tried to keep as quiet as possible. I went into the bathroom to change first, then crawled into bed while he got into some drier clothes as well.

I took the far side of the bed, away from Emmett and Rosalie, facing the window. I curled onto my side and drew the blanket up to my shoulders. A few moments later, I felt Jasper lift up the covers and silently slip in beside me. He was still and left some space between us when he finally settled onto his back.

The distance between us unexpectedly made my breathing catch. I felt like he was too far away, like I needed to touch him this instant or I was going to go insane. Panic washed through me at this new insight. I had never felt this way before. I needed his calming touch - now.

As if he could feel me going to pieces next to him, Jasper's fingers begin leisurely exploring the exposed skin on the small of my back where my shirt had ridden up. I instantly let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and relaxed into the bed.

He pulled away for a moment and I felt him readjust so that he was on his side and scooted up closer to me. Then I felt his hand press into my shoulder, nudging me to roll onto my stomach. I complied, then turned my head to face him.

His eyes never left mine as I felt his hand resume it's ministrations underneath my shirt on my back. His touch was feathery light, trailing his way up and down every inch of my bare skin. Tickling, teasing, from my neck to my tailbone - it all felt heavenly. And maybe it was sent from heaven, because this was the exact thing my Father used to do to me when I was little to help me calm down before bed. I never told that to anyone. Jasper just seemed to instinctively know what I needed.

He continued to stroke my back until my eyes closed. The last thing I felt was his hand moving the hair from my face and his lips pressed to my forehead, before I fell into a sound, dreamless sleep.

**A/N: Aw, romantic goodness! Finally!**

**But what about Emmett you ask? And what exactly happened between him and Jasper during their conversation in the hotel room? Well, my friends, that will be in my next outtake (in Alternative Notion) - both a Jasper and another Emmett POV, so keep your eyes peeled for that. I'll also try to update my profile with all the new songs soon, but I figured a new chapter was more important to you first.**

**Please review and let me know how I'm doing!**


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Sounds like everyone enjoyed my last humor-filled chapter! We're getting back to angst and romance for the time being, so strap on your seatbelts, kids.

This chapter is a little shorter, and I'll apologize now for any errors or typos…wanted to get it out to you before I went away for the weekend.

Also, don't forget to read chapter 2 of "Alternative Notion" for a Jasper and Emmett POV on what happened in the hotel room conversation from chapter 10.

And now, chapter 11...

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**I woke up to the sound of Rosalie cursing as she dropped something, presumably her curling iron, on the bathroom counter. I sat up quickly, feeling a warm hand slide from my back and hit the bed.**

_**Jasper.**_

**The memories of last night's kiss came flooding back, filling my cheeks with a deep red blush. **

**Then the blood drained from my face as I looked over at the next bed. Emmett was still there, passed out face down in the pillow.**

**I looked back and forth between the two most important men in my life. Then I suddenly felt the need to call the third.**

**I shimmied out of the bed quietly, trying not to disturb either of the sleeping dilemmas. I grabbed my cell phone, then quickly slipped outside. I flipped the phone open as I walked - it was nine a.m.. Hopefully he was awake at banker's hours, too, not just raver's hours. **

_**Ring…ring…**_

"**Good morning, love," Edward answered. "Where are you on this fine day?"**

"**Morning, Edward. Somewhere in Nebraska. Actually I'm surprised I even have cell phone service here, but by some miracle I get to hear your sexy morning voice," I teased.**

"**That you do. So tell me how the road trip is going. The best and funniest things happen to you and I just have to live vicariously through your hilarity."**

**I regaled the tale of the flat tire and the baseball team, Emmett's kickin' stereo system in the truck, and of course the mooning and the elephant. Once his hysterical laughter subsided, he asked the all important question.**

"**So how are things going for **_**you**_**?"**

**I paused. He took that as a sign. "Uh oh," he droned. "Spill it, Bella. Tell me what's going on."**

**I sighed. "Do you want the condensed or the unabridged version?"**

"**Let's go with the condensed and we'll see where we end up."**

**I took a deep breath and then let it rip. "Okay…last night Jasper kissed me and told me he was in love with me."**

"**Wow," he replied.**

"**Yeah, but that's not all. Emmett has been, well, a little weird. I'm pretty sure he has feelings like that for me, too, but he's never come out and told me anything. And Jasper said that he did talk with Emmett last night, and that he got the green light from my best friend," I spewed out, pacing back and forth on the edge of the parking lot.**

"**Alright, let me see if I have all this. Jasper loves you and he kissed you last night. You think Emmett feels the same, but you have no hard evidence," he reiterated.**

"**Yep, that about covers the condensed version."**

"**I see."**

**I continued, leaking into more unabridged territory. "See, I told Jasper last night that I didn't want to just run around declaring ourselves until I had a chance to talk with Emmett myself, and he agreed."**

"**Okay, that's a good thing. I do think you need to talk to Emmett about all this. But I have two questions. First, what did you say back to Jasper when he told you he was in love with you?"**

**I thought in silence for just a little too long. Then I said in an exasperated whisper, "I didn't say anything." That realization sunk in. I hadn't said anything to him. I couldn't.**

**Edward's voice broke my train of thought. "Then the second and most important question, what do you want?"**

**A breathy curse escaped my lips. "Fuck…"**

**He chuckled. "Yeah, that one's a little tougher. But love, until you figure out what you want first and foremost, you can't worry about other people. Remember, you have to be happy with yourself and your decisions before anyone else can be happy with or for you. And personally, I just want to see you happy. Period."**

**I smiled into the phone. "Thanks Edward. You know you're like some kind of fucking Dr. Phil, right?"**

**He laughed again. "Yeah, can't get away from my inner therapist," he said sarcastically. "Seriously, though, it took me a long time to figure all this shit out for myself. So I know from experience what it's like to second guess yourself. All you have to do is open yourself up to the opportunities that present themselves, the ones that will make you feel good about yourself, and you can't go wrong with any decision you make. And even when you do make wrong decisions, especially when it concerns your closest friends, you have to remember that they are your friends for a reason and that they'll forgive you."**

"**You always know just what to say. Did you attend some kind of Tony Robbins seminar or something, because everything you're spouting makes me want to nominate you for motivational speaker of the year or something."**

"**No, no Tony Robbins. Just living, learning and sharing with those in need. And you seemed like you were in need. You're a good friend, Bella, and I always help out my friends," he assured.**

"**Yeah, but I think I'm abusing my friend privileges with you. I promise the next time I call it'll be purely social," I pledged.**

"**Really, love, it's ok that you call me with your problems. That's what friends are for. Now, I have a very serious problem that I need your help with," he said changing his tone to a more intense nature.**

"**Shoot. I'll do my best," I proclaimed.**

"**Okay," he sighed. "See I have this hot date tonight and I have no idea what to wear."**

**I snorted. "You're impossible. Wear something green to bring out your eyes. The ladies will love that."**

"**You're right. Green is always my lucky color. I'd ask what I should to with my hair, but we both know it won't listen when I try to tame it."**

"**Yeah," I agreed, "but that's what makes it sexy. That fucking hair of yours should be trademarked or something, like Uncle Jesse's from **_**Full House**_**."**

**He laughed. "I guess being compared to John Stamos isn't a bad thing."**

"**It most certainly isn't. He's hot!"**

**He laughed again, then composed himself. "Alright. So my problems are solved. How are yours going?"**

"**I uh, I think," I stuttered, "well, I know I need to talk to Emmett…but…I think I want to give this thing with Jasper a shot, at least see where it goes."**

**I could almost hear Edward smiling. "Good girl. Call me if you need more time with Dr. Edward. My therapy couch is always open, literally and figuratively."**

"**Thanks, Doc," I teased. "Let me know how your hot date pans out."**

"**Will do. Bye, love."**

"**Bye."**

**I closed my phone and stared off into the distance. This was going to be difficult.**

**I went back to the room to find everyone awake and milling about, getting ready to hit the road again. **

**As soon as I walked in the door, Jasper had his eyes glued to me. They trailed up and down my body with lust, but then quickly flashed to concern when he reached my face. He twitched and made a small move toward me, but then stopped, realization washing over him as I'm sure his promise to hold back until I could talk with my best friend was playing through his head. **

**My head shot up at Emmett's voice. "Everything okay, Bella?"**

"**Uh, yeah. Edward called before and I just wanted to call him back before he left for work. He says to tell you all hello, and for Jasper to keep his bare ass away from purple vehicles full of gay men."**

**Emmett and Rosalie laughed. Jasper just lowered and shook his head. I had broken the tension somewhat, but didn't know what I should do from there. **

_**Should I just grab Emmett and blurt out that I was going to be with Jasper? Would he even be upset if I did? Should I wait for the right time? What if there isn't a right time?**_

_**Fuck. I'm fucked. That's all there is to it.**_

**For the time being, I kept my mouth shut and just packed up my suitcase. Then Jasper made the decision for me. He grabbed his sister and announced that they were going to walk across the street to a quaint little restaurant to get us all some coffee and breakfast for the road, leaving Emmett and I in the hotel room alone.**

**It was now or never. I took a deep breath, then turned to face him.**

"**Em, can I talk to you for a minute?"**

**He paused, clutching the zipper of his duffle bag. He exhaled, quickly zipped the bag shut, then sat down facing me on his bed.**

"**Sure, Bells. What's up?" He asked the question, but I could tell he already knew the answer by his posture and expression.**

**I sighed, then just decided to start letting it pour out. "Look, I don't know if it even matters, but I feel like you need to know. Last night, Jasper-"**

**He held up his hand to cut me off. "Bella…I know." He hung his head and closed his eyes, and when he looked back up at me, I could see that they were watery. "Jasper did talk to me last night, and I told him that if he made you happy that I wouldn't stand in his way. It's okay…I'm okay. I mean, you and I will always be best friends, right?"**

"**You know we will be," I confirmed.**

"**Then it's all good. You be sure to let me know if he fucks up, though. And you need to know that you don't just have to run off with him or anything. Your home will always be there for you in Texas, no questions asked."**

"**I have to know something, Emmett. I have to know what your feelings are for me. Could there have been more for us?" I don't know why I asked; maybe I was just a glutton for punishment.**

**He didn't answer for a long time, just stared at the floor. When he did answer, his voice was small and shaking.**

"**I think…I think we might have been good together. I would have taken care of you. But I don't know if I can give you what he can, and you won't either unless you take that chance with him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were to deny you any opportunity to be happy, or if I left you asking 'what if'."**

**I tentatively walked toward my best friend. He looked up at me, and I knew we were both working hard to keep our tears at bay. I reached up to touch his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch for a moment, then engulfed me in his massive embrace, pressing his head to my shoulder. I held him there tightly, afraid that if I let go that he wouldn't be there anymore.**

**Then his phone rang. He reluctantly pulled away and reached into his pocket to retrieve the offending intruder on our moment.**

"**Hello? Oh, hey Dad. Yeah, things are going great here," he said as he got up and walked past me looking at the ground. He was a terrible liar. "How are things at home?"**

**Emmett paused for a minute. "When did that start happening?…Uh huh…How many?…Yeah…Hey Dad, hold on for a second." **

**He turned to face me and covered the phone with his hand. "Bells, why don't you go over and give Jazz and Rose a hand. I'll meet you at the truck."**

**I nodded. "Everything okay at home, Em?"**

**He just nodded, but I could tell he was lying. "Okay, tell your folks hello for me."**

**I got up and walked out, and he began his conversation again. **

_**That was odd. Since when does Emmett keep his family conversations from me? I am his family. **_

**I didn't have to wait long to find out what he was trying to keep from me. He met me at the truck at the same time Jasper and Rosalie made it back with breakfast. **

**(Song suggestion: Running Away by Hoobastank)**

Emmett sighed as he walked up to us. "Hey guys, unexpected change in plans." We all stared at him like he was crazy - Emmett McCarty never deviated from the original plan.

"Everything okay, Em?" Jasper asked. A double edged sword.

"Well, not exactly. My Dad called me. Apparently someone has been cutting some of our fences and some cattle are missing. And there's been some vandalism to one of the farm trucks. It's probably just some punk kids, but the other ranchers have been reporting some animal rights activists passing through the region doing some demonstrating near Fort Worth and Odessa. So I'm going to cut my trip short and go home for a while."

I tried to plead with him. "Emmett, can't one of the hands handle this?"

He pressed his lips firmly together and shook his head. "They've tried, and you know that my Dad's leg has been giving him trouble lately, so he's not of much use."

"It's fine, Emmett. We'll all come down and help, get this taken care of quickly and we can get back out on the road together," Jasper offered.

But Emmett shook his head again. "Thanks, Jazz, but you don't have to do that. In fact, I've already arranged a different ride home so that you and Bella can stay on the road. Alec Volturi and his Dad are going to be passing by here today and they've agreed to haul my horses and me back home, and we'll just hit some local rodeos there to try to keep our spot in the standings. Bells, you can just take my truck and finish the tour we originally planned. You need to stay on the road for the bigger prize money, because Alec just gave me the results from his last stop, and if I'm calculating this right, that put you back down to tenth. So no arguments, you need to keep hauling."

Before I could say anything, Rose chimed in. "Yeah, hate to bail on you guys, too, but I got a call from my producer while we were waiting for our breakfast. He wants me to fly out to Phoenix to cover for the other sports caster that was supposed to be there. Guess she had a baby or something, I don't know. But you'll have to drop me in Lincoln so I can catch a flight down there tonight," she directed at Jasper.

"Emmett, are you sure? Rodeo really isn't that important. We could come home and help-" I started to say, but he cut me off again.

"Seriously, Bella, rodeo is that important. We'll be find at home. You need to stay on the road. Just take care of my truck, okay? And yourself. Both of you better be in pristine condition the next time I see you," he tried to tease, but there was a sadness to his voice.

There would be no more arguing with him. Half an hour later, my horses were on the trailer, and Emmett's horses were on Alec's trailer, and we were all ready to go our separate ways.

I ran up to Emmett and threw my arms around him. He picked me up in his trademark bear hug and twirled me around once.

"You better call me every day with updates from the ranch," I said as he set me down.

"You know I will. You be careful, okay? And not just with the truck, I mean you."

"I will."

He picked up my hand and kissed my copper ring. "Good luck, little girl. Love you."

I smiled, trying to fight back even more tears. "Love you, too."

He pulled away from me slowly, then hopped into Alec's truck without looking back. I watched as the truck rolled onto the highway, and disappeared into the distance.

A few hours later, having dropped Rosalie off at the airport, Jasper and I were driving down the highway - alone.

I tried to will myself to be happy that I was here, doing what I loved with someone who definitely loved me, but Emmett's departure was making me somewhat despondent.

**(Song suggestion: Everybody by Keith Urban)**

Jasper was driving and was carefully glancing over at me. I knew he could sense my glum mood and confusion. Without saying a word, he reached over and pulled me up against him. He slung his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. His warm embrace made my mood start to dissipate

"I'm sorry, Jazz."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. I understand how hard that was for you. But you have to know that I will take care of you now, if you'll have me."

"I know and thank you," I replied.

Then I thought about what he must be going through right then, knowing how torn I was between him and Emmett. And yet he stayed with me, letting me make the choice without pressure and fully ready to accept it if my choice wasn't him. He was a good man, and he deserved to have someone's whole heart. Even though a part of my heart would always belong to my best friend, I still hoped that what I could give would be enough.

"You're too good to me, Jazz. I want you to grasp just how much you mean to me," I said softly as I craned my neck around to kiss his cheek.

He flashed me his killer smile and my heart quickly melted. I squirmed around in my seat until I was somewhat facing him, then started layering soft, sensual kisses around his jaw line, neck, and just below his ear.

His grin widened. "Mmm…sweetheart, if you're going to continue doing that, I'll have to pull the truck over so I can shower you with the proper amount of affection right back."

I laughed against his skin, causing him to shudder and grip the steering wheel harder. I didn't say anything. I just snaked my hand across his chest and sucked the lobe of his ear into my mouth lightly.

His eyes were blinking furiously, struggling to stay open. "Bella…" he breathed, "you have no idea how many times I've imagined you doing that. It's killing me that I can't just grab hold of you and do it back right now."

His words were exactly the distraction I needed. They brought me back to the here and now. This was what I wanted - him - and I'd be damned if I let him think otherwise.

I planted a chaste kiss on his cheek, then started stroking my fingers through his curly, blond locks. Jasper was amazingly handsome, gorgeous even. All of his features were perfectly aligned. He could be smug and cocky - which was still a complete turn on - or he could be caring and compassionate. He seemed to sense what people needed most, what emotion they exuded, which made him insanely perceptive.

Jasper was one of a kind. I was extremely lucky to have him, and I would spend the rest of this trip making sure that he felt the same.

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**A/N: Please review! I love hearing from you! More adventures with Jasper and Bella to come…but don't rule our other favorite boys yet, they might surprise you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So here's the next installment…some Jasper and Bella adventures. **

**Please keep reading and reviewing! Knowing what you think means a lot to me, so keep 'em comin'!**

**On with chapter 12...**

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Jasper and I drove…and drove…and drove some more.

At first, we stayed on the scheduled route that Emmett had previously planned. After two weeks, however, Jasper made a proposal for a change in course while we were near Denver.

"What would you say to changing our plans so that we ended up near my family's place for a little layover? In all this time, you've never been up to see it, and I'd really like to show you around. My parents would love to see you again, plus we can take a drive and spend some time on the beach, maybe even teach you to surf," he submitted, running his hands almost nervously through his blond curls. "What do you think?"

I grinned wickedly. "Jasper Whitlock, are you asking me to come home with you to meet the parental units?"

He laughed, and the little creases in his eyes danced as he smiled. I fucking loved that look; it made me burst with joy to see him so happy.

"Well, first off, you already met my parents, and they love you almost as much as I do."

"True," I haughtily agreed, making him chuckle again.

"And secondly," he continued, "I've been waiting for a long time to show you what I do and where I go when I'm not chasing after your pretty little ass."

Because he called my ass little and pretty - and I suppose my curiosity might have had something to do with it - I emphatically accepted. He was so happy, I thought he was going to bounce right out of the truck window. Good thing I was driving. Emmett would have chastised me severely if something had happened to his favorite truck.

_Ah…Emmett. What am I going to do about you?_

I'd called Emmett every day since he and I parted ways. I was worried - about the ranch, the cattle, little Alec Voltori, how they were faring at the local rodeos - but mostly I was just concerned about Emmett himself.

I told him of the little course correction that Jasper had suggested and I knew he wasn't himself when he didn't recoil at the idea. It was odd - Emmett _hated_ going off plan like that. But he just told me that a rodeo was a rodeo, and as long as it didn't hurt my national standing, that I should go if for nothing else to visit with Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock and give them his love.

He told me that things on the ranch were okay, that they had gotten the stray cattle back within the first two days he was home, and the fences repaired shortly after. There were still reports of animal rights activists in the area, but so far no new vandalism. He tried to calm my fears, but deep down I knew he was hiding just how bad the situation was. He'd downplay it, telling me to keep going on the road and that he'd call if anything serious came up at home.

I learned to just bite my tongue and stay quiet. Neither Emmett nor Jasper really wanted me to go back to Texas right now. So I didn't go. I stayed in the truck, even though a little voice inside warned me that I should go home. I shut it out, focusing only on each day, one at a time, with the gorgeous cowboy right beside me.

While we were traveling, Jasper remained affectionate - okay, extremely affectionate - though we had yet to actually sleep together. Don't get me wrong, we slept together…_sleeping_ slept, as in unconscious, snoring, drooling slept.

Just no sex.

_Shit. _

_Okay, am I cursing because I want to have sex and am currently not getting any, or is it because I want to prolong the dry spell even more?_

_Yeah, just…shit._

Jasper was the one to mention something about not wanting to rush into it, and my mind told me that I was grateful he was trying to give me time, make sure I was ready. My body, however, was having other ideas as it produced hormones at an alarming rate. The charming eye candy showering me with passionate kisses wasn't helping my resolve - _at all._

My surfer slash cowboy love interest was comfortable and attentive even without sex, holding me close and touching me softly as we slept. Each subsequent time we stayed in a hotel room, though, his proximity and touching began to shift closer and harder into me. I suppose he was having the same internal battle with himself that I was. Nonetheless, he somehow managed to keep his cool and calm demeanor. I was starting - albeit sarcastically - to hate him for it.

_Stupid, shiny buckle winner._

We traveled on, now making our way toward Jasper's home, for another two weeks. When we reached a rodeo in Temecula, California, we were able to breath sigh of relief. The rodeo there was a big one, and we both took home first place checks. That put us up enough to relax our schedule, allowing us to take that week off to spend at the Whitlock family spread.

So, our were plans finalized. Two days later, I sat beside an again near bouncing-with-excitement Jasper as he pulled the truck and the trailer into his long, tree-lined driveway. It was mid afternoon when we arrived, and the sun was streaming down to highlight the crisp, white vinyl fencing that covered nearly the entire property.

The line of trees finally gave way to a sea of manicured green grass that sprawled around a huge, red brick-cased house. No, I couldn't even call it something as mundane as a mere house, it was truly a mansion that would look more at home set in Beverly Hills. It had at least three stories and two wings, a huge attached garage that probably held ten or twelve cars, and a few other smaller buildings that were identical in their outer décor. The 90210-esque abode came complete with a pool and huge patio area that I spied as we rounded the back of the house, er, mansion.

I tried to keep the look of awe off my face, and was succeeding for the most part. That is, until he drove around the back side of the house to where their barns were laid out.

**(Song suggestion: Hallelujah by Paramore)**

I couldn't help but stare at the site before me. It was like a dream. Sure, the McCarty ranch had nice enough barns and plenty of stall space, chutes and corrals for the horses and cattle, but they were functional and had been there since the ranch was built with some renovations as needed over the years.

But this…this was a equine enthusiast's dream.

From the outside, I could tell that there was huge roof-covered arena, probably somewhere around two hundred fifty feet in length by one hundred fifty feet in width. Just peering inside the brand new bluish gray barn's door, I could see about thirty or so stalls laid out down a long, cement isle way. There were turn outs, pastures, hot walkers and round pens…mares with foals, some cattle, and a blue heeler dog now running alongside the truck, barking in greeting. It was beautiful and pristine, with hired hands all moving about their various jobs to keep it looking as such.

"Wow," I breathed, not able to say anything that wasn't monosyllabic.

Jasper chuckled. "I knew you'd be more blown away by the barn than the house. Most people can't get past that damn oversized mausoleum." He stopped the truck and leaned toward me, placing a kiss on my temple. "But that's one of the things I absolutely adore about you - you know how to appreciate all the right things."

I blushed and snapped out of my reverie. "Can't help it. I was practically born in a barn, and it looked nothing like this one. Hell, it looks so damn clean and tidy that someone probably could give birth in there without incident."

He flashed me that perfect white smile, then climbed out the door. He bounded around the front of the truck to my side - stopping only to pat the dog, aptly named Blue, on the top of the head - then opened my door and offered me his hand as I slid to the ground. His arms encircled me and he pressed his cheek to mine, speaking softly into my ear.

"Anything you need here is yours, all you have to do is ask. Consider this your home, and everything here is at your disposal," he drawled, then kissed my cheek and held me tight.

My brain made a screeching halt from all it's other processes to orbit around what he had said.

_Consider this my home…but this isn't my home. My home is in Texas…isn't it?_

I hadn't regarded anywhere other than Midland and the McCarty ranch as home, ever. I didn't know why, but lately that concept was becoming hazy, almost like it was slipping away. I wasn't sure how I felt right then - maybe this place could be like a home, too…?

I shoved away my thoughts and decided to just live in the moment. I hugged Jasper's waist tightly and buried my nose in his neck. "Thank you," I whispered against his skin there, just before kissing it softly.

He pulled back to look at me with a beaming expression. I returned it with all the smile I could muster, hoping that I was showing enough excitement for him not to worry.

Just then we were interrupted by a light, jovial voice with a Spanish accent. "Senor Jasper, it's good to have you home. May I have some of the boys unload and tend to those horses for you?"

"Sure thing, man. It's good to see you," Jasper said as he shook the black haired man's hand. Then he turned and motioned toward me. "Bella Swan, this is the man running the show around here, Miguel Rodriguez."

"It's great to meet you, Mr. Rodriguez," I said as I extended my hand to him. His grasp was firm and rough, yet had a gentleness to it at the same time.

"Please, call me Miguel. Mr. Rodriguez is my father," he laughed. "And it's my pleasure to meet you, Senora."

My smile widened at the sincerity of the man in front of me. I had no doubt that he loved his job and took great pride in caring for the horses here. You could see that he loved this place when you looked into his eyes.

Through light conversation, I found out that Miguel's family had immigrated here from Honduras, but he was born in the U.S.. He had worked for the Whitlock's since he was twelve years old. One day, they had caught him sneaking under the fence to feed the horses carrots and apples that he bought on his way home from school at the local market with his leftover lunch money. His first job with them was as a groom. Twenty years later, he was foreman for the whole operation, overseeing everything from breeding and foaling season for the broodmares to dictating what time of day the barn isles needed swept. He was a good man with a good heart, and you could tell that the instant you met him.

I watched as Miguel directed two young workers - one a sandy haired boy about sixteen, the other about the same age and the spitting image of his foreman father - unload both of my horses from the trailer and get them settled into their stalls. They were fed, watered and bedded down within minutes, looking at me like they had died and gone to heaven. Miguel promised to have them brushed down and turned out into a small paddock later so they could stretch their weary legs. I thanked him profusely before Jasper started pulling me away.

"Come on, sweetheart. I want to show you around the rest of the property before it gets too late. I promised my parents that we'd grace them with our presence at dinner tonight."

I involuntarily glanced down at my road weary attire. Jasper caught my gaze and spoke up before I could.

"Don't worry, we'll have time to get cleaned up and I'll make sure you have a fresh change of clothes before we eat."

I sighed with relief. "Thanks, Jazz. I'm definitely in need of a laundry day, and I don't want to show up at dinner with your parents wearing day old jeans and a dirty t-shirt."

He grabbed my hand and gave me that irresistible grin. "You'd still look beautiful anyway, Bella. You always do."

I squeezed his hand in appreciation and blushed furiously. His compliments always threw me off kilter.

We walked around outside for the next hour, Jasper showing me all the barns, the horses, his favorite old Massey-Ferguson tractor that he and his Father had restored, and finally, his family's horses. Afterward, we headed toward the huge house for the grand tour.

As I walked through the front doors, I was greeted with the proverbial grand staircase, high ceilings and crystal chandelier. The things that were out of place, and no doubt contributed by his father, were the hand painted portrait of John Wayne and the mounted elk head that hung on the wall.

"I can tell that this room was a compromise," I said as I pointed toward the dead animal on the wall.

"Yeah," Jasper chuckled, "they sort of clashed on this room. Mom wanted to welcome guests with elegance. Dad wanted them to feel at home, or ready to go out and shoot something, I'm not sure which exactly."

I had to giggle as he led me through each of the rooms. The main part of the house was designated for his Mother and Father - Victoria and James - and for family activities. The enormous kitchen, complete with state of the art appliances and a full time chef, was located there, as well as a gaming room, home theatre, dining room, and the master suites on the upper levels.

The east wing of the house had been claimed by Rosalie. It included her own living slash entertainment area, a ridiculously huge walk-in closet, a large office space, some guest rooms, and finally her bedroom - which took up nearly the whole top floor itself.

The west wing was Jasper's. His side of the house was closest to the pastures, and each window had a stunning view of the horses roaming the property. The bottom floor was mostly taken up by a complete fitness center, changing rooms and access to the outdoor pool and hot tub. The top floor of his wing contained his office - which was stunning with it's dark cherry walls and floors, not to mention all of his buckles and win photos on display - some closet space, though it wasn't nearly as big as Rosalie's, a guest room, and his bedroom.

That was the last stop on the tour. As he took me by the hand and pulled me inside, I had to marvel at it's diversity. It seemed like he had a wall for each of his interests. One wall was completely covered with large picture windows with the same great view of the horses outside grazing. It's ledge was constructed into a sort of day bed or couch made of a deep mahogany leather with matching pillows strategically strewn about.

Opposite the windows was a long wall containing a large flat-screen TV, surrounded by an impressive stereo system - complete with speakers embedded into the walls of each room of his wing that all ran back to this point - his collection of CD's and DVD's, with a mahogany leather couch that match the day bed near the windows.

His bed - a large dark cherry four poster - was covered with the same dark shaded down comforters and an abundance of pillows. It was also gigantic in size. At the foot of each side was a deer skin rug thrown on the hard wood floor.

Next to the windows was a doorway into his colossal bathroom - mosaic tile wall to wall, huge two person Jacuzzi tub, a separate open air shower area with several showerheads pointing in every direction. There were speakers embedded into the walls in here as well.

In the corner, next to his bed, were his surfboard and his guitar. At first, I thought this was a funny pairing to have the two next to each other. Then I realized that those were the two things that let Jasper express himself and be free. They definitely deserved to be displayed together.

I was exasperated as I wondered around the room. Everything was huge and over the top, and yet it also fit Jasper to a tee. There were photos of his travels and friends in elegant frames scattered over everything - on the walls, on the tables and other furniture, some even loosely taped near his bed. As I looked closer, I realized that many of them were photos that included me.

I was looking at one in particular that was situated in a gold frame on his nightstand. It was taken on at the National High School Rodeo event when I was eighteen. I was laughing, wearing Jasper's worn straw cowboy hat with my long brown hair flying around in the breeze. Jasper was in the photo, too, and had one arm slug around my shoulder, his opposite thumb dug into his pocket as he leaned into me with an identical grin plastered on his face. We looked good in that picture…happy, like we fit together.

I felt Jasper come up behind me and look over my shoulder. "That's my favorite one of you," he drawled. He ran his fingertips up and down my arms gently as we both stood there admiring the image. "You look good wearing my things."

I chuckled. "Is that so?"

He nodded. "Yes, ma'am. But then again you always look good to me," he trailed off as he bent his head to kiss the exposed skin where my shoulder met my neck.

I shivered and leaned into him. His touch was intoxicating. We had an undeniable chemistry and here, in his room, after looking into his own little world from this vantage point, I could feel it intensify. I realized that I would never want for anything being here with him - not for material possessions, and not for love either.

_I could be at home here with Jasper, couldn't I? _

_Yes, I think I can._

**(Song suggestion: Believe In Dreams by Flyleaf)**

"Jazz," I said softly, and he craned his head to look at my face. I turned around to face him and looked into his deep blue eyes. "Kiss me."

His eyes burned with passion, and he didn't have to be told twice. His lips plunged down onto mine with a hurried fervor. I wrapped my arms around him and fisted the back of his shirt, pulling him as close to me as I could. One of his hands was trailing through my hair, the other was at my hip and gripping for dear life. Our tongues danced and battled and we barely came up for air before attacking each other all over again.

Jasper's scent was intoxicating me - like sandalwood and the ocean breeze - and I couldn't get enough. My hands roamed his body, lifting up the hem of his white button down shirt that was conveniently already un-tucked and running my hands up the length of the bare skin on his back. He moaned slightly into my mouth as we continued to kiss, the sensations for both of us becoming overwhelming.

Suddenly he pulled away, breaking our kiss. Panting, he rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. "Bella," he gasped. "We need to stop if we're both going to have time to clean up before dinner with my parents."

I almost laughed at Jasper, the ever-present voice of reason. Then my more creative, not to mention audacious side kicked into overdrive with the onset of my hormone overload.

"Well then," I said with all the courage I could muster, "I think it would be best if we saved time and water…"

I pulled away then and walked toward his bathroom, peeling clothes off as I went. Jasper just stood there with his mouth gaping open. When I reached the bathroom door in only my shirt and panties, I turned toward him.

"You coming?" I asked with a feigned look of innocence and one eyebrow raised.

I swear I almost heard his jaw snap shut. He didn't say a word, but followed me in next to the open air shower. He turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. When he turned back around to face me again, his expression was hesitant.

"Are you sure, Bella? I don't want you to do something you're going to regret-"

I cut him off. "Shut up, Jasper. Just…shut up," I barely whispered as I began to unbutton his shirt. I ran my hands up his chest, over his shoulders and finally down his arms to push the white fabric from his body.

**(Song suggestion: Stare by Marjorie Fair)**

He watched his shirt fall to the floor, then gazed back at me as I removed the remainder of my clothes and stepped into the steamy water. I closed my eyes and let the water run over my face, basking in it's warmth. The spray from the showerheads was coming from all directions, enveloping me in a constant heat.

I rubbed my eyes, blinking and reaching around for the shampoo bottle when a familiar hand stopped mine from somewhere behind me.

"Let me do that, sweetheart." Jasper's deep tone made my heart skip. Moments later, a pair of calloused, but gentle hands began working the shampoo into my hair with lingering strokes. He did the same with the conditioner, and I closed my eyes when he directed my head back, running his fingers through my hair to rinse it all away.

I did the same for him, and he let a quiet moan escape his lips while my fingers worked languidly through his flaxen locks. We washed each other's bodies, letting our palms loiter on all of the forbidden zones. I could help but stare at his toned body as my hands moved across his chest. I knew he was staring at me, too, though I wasn't self conscious - the reverence with which he looked over my body gave me the confidence to be here with him in such an intimate way.

When we finished rinsing, Jasper's arms encircled me, pulling me in close to him, face to face. The intense sensation of skin to skin contact was amplified by the steaming water. He bent his head down and kissed me, lavishing me with long, slow strokes of his tongue on mine.

Everything about the last half an hour had me so incredibly turned on, and I could see that Jasper's excitement had matched my own throughout the entire shower. I shifted and pushed into him harder, making the hardened length that was pressed into my stomach twitch and a low groan escaped his lips.

"Ugh…Bella, as much as I want to take this further, if we don't stop we're going to miss dinner." I nuzzled my head on his soaked chest in response, laying small kisses there. "But I fully intend to pick this up the moment we're alone. I don't have the strength to stay away from you for much longer."

"Good," I whispered.

We reluctantly turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying off with large, plush towels. Jasper left for a moment, returning with my bag of toiletries and a stack of clothing, handing both to me as the knotted towel around his waist slid dangerously low on his hips. I took it all, set the bag near the sink then started looking through the clothes.

"These aren't my clothes," I noticed.

"They are now," he replied. "I called ahead to Maria - she's kind of the family's assistant I guess you could say - anyway, I told her your size and your tastes and she picked those up for you."

"Jazz, you didn't have to do that." I wasn't used to people doing so much or buying things for me, and it always left me feeling inadequate somehow.

"I know," he shrugged, "but I enjoy taking care of you. Besides, you're the one that said you needed a laundry day. That's being taken care of, too, by the way. Your clothes will be finished brought up here by tomorrow morning."

I shook my head in defeat. I had known that the Whitlock's never wanted for anything. I just had no idea that anything and everything was at their disposal like this. Jasper must have been used to getting his way a lot.

"Well, thank you, Jazz, but you don't have to keep doing things for me like that. I can take care of myself."

He strode over to me, then ran his fingers along my cheek. "I know you can, sweetheart. You've been doing that all your life, for yourself and others. Now it's my turn to spoil you - and I'd like to do that for a long time if you'll let me."

I looked into those deep blue eyes and was lost instantly. He planted a single kiss on my cheek, then turned and walked back into his bedroom. I stood there, looking in the mirror for a few seconds, wondering how the hell I was able to deserve something like this extravagance that was situated all around me. This was what I had always dreamed of having, what every girl dreams of - the cowboy whisking me away to his mansion on the hill, hundreds of rolling acres littered with horses, being showered with gifts, having anything I want simply handed to me before I even knew I wanted it - this was what I once thought was out of reach. Yet here I was, able to hold it all in the palm of my hand.

In spite all of that, I found myself suddenly a little homesick.

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**A/N: So, how are we liking Jazz 'n Bells? They'll be more California adventures from the pair to come in the next chapter, along with some delicious plot twists.**

**As always, your reviews are appreciated, so please take the time to tell me how I'm doing! Thanks again for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoy the next installment…**

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I changed and got ready as quickly as possible. I left my hair down, only partially drying it with the blow dryer, which allowed it to bounce up into it's signature natural curls on the ends. I went with some light makeup, not one to overdo that sort of thing. Then I slipped into the clothes Jasper had brought me - white Capri's and a black t-shirt that had an intricate white and gray design in tiny crystals over one shoulder and down one side. There was even a brand new pair of black heeled flip flops waiting there for me as well.

Everything fit me as if it were tailored to my exact measurements. I didn't doubt that the clothes were from some prominent designer, though I couldn't bring myself to look at the tags, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I felt incredibly self-confident in them.

I made my way toward the corner of Jasper's room, eyeing his photos some more, when he entered. He was sexy but casual in his slow-slung faded and worn jeans, a long-sleeved white Henley and black Doc Martin's. He looked normal, not like someone who was riding a bull less than two days earlier.

He walked over to me and put his hands on my hips. As he looked down at me, his hair fell into his eyes in that completely seductive way and I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers through it. He closed his eyes and smiled, leaning into my hand. Without opening his eyes, he bent down to kiss me, gripping my hips a little harder and pulling me against him. I inhaled deeply through my nose as our lips met. His scent tonight - like an ocean breeze - was intoxicating.

Our kiss slowed and he eventually pulled away and grinned again.

"You ready for dinner, sweetheart?"

I grinned right back and placed my hands in his. "Lead the way."

We walked out of his bedroom and it hit me just how odd it was to see the two different sides of Jasper collide right in front of me. I had only previously known the down home cowboy side. But here, in his home element and especially when dealing with his Mom, his upper crust rose to the surface.

Jasper took my hand and led me down the long staircase to the main dining hall where we were greeted by his parents. James and Victoria Whitlock both embraced me tightly.

"Bella! Girl, it's been too long! You look great!"

"Thank you, Mr. Whitlock. It's good to see you, too," I nearly choked out, he was squeezing me so tight.

"Now, you know you can call me Jim."

I blushed and gave a nod as he handed me off to his wife.

"Isabella, darling…you look fabulous. We're so glad you could finally come to our home! And don't you dare call me Mrs., someone might hear you," she teased in her courteous, yet haughty tone as she was letting me out of her embrace.

"Yes, Victoria. Thank you so much for having me," I replied as politely as I could.

"Mom, Dad, give my poor girl some air," Jasper chimed in as he led me toward the table. "Here, sweetheart, have a seat," he said, pulling out a chair for me.

"Thanks, Jazz," I blushed again. I had a feeling that the night would be full of my red cheeks.

Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock sat across the large oak table, and Jasper sat next to me, taking my hand at every open opportunity. It was hard to concentrate on what his parents were saying when he was rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, or tracing his fingertips on my palm.

"So dear," Victoria started, "how long will you be staying with us?"

All I could get out was an, "Um…" as I looked to Jasper, really unsure of how to answer that question. We hadn't really discussed how long we would be at his home, or where we would go next. Thankfully he came to my rescue.

"Well, we're not sure where we're headed next. There are a couple of rodeos nearby - within an hour or two - so maybe we'll catch those. We can stay at least a week; I don't think we're in a big hurry, though," he surmised, looking at me for approval.

I just smiled and nodded.

"Well you know you're welcome to stay as long as you like, Bella," Mr. Whitlock added with his wife's emphatic grinning approval.

It was then that I noticed that their hands were also clasped together on the top of the table, just like mine and Jasper's. After nearly twenty five years of marriage and their completely different lives merging together, his parents were still in love. They made it look easy. Their diversity had been overcome, and they were obviously madly in love after all those years - you could see it in the way he looked at her, and the way she gazed back.

Apples and oranges blended just fine in this house. That's what Jasper was - some kind of hybrid between the two that came out even more faultless than the originals. Some kind of "orapple".

_Orapple? I've gone and lost my entire mind right now, haven't I?_

A light squeeze of my hand by Jasper brought me back to reality, and I quickly picked up on the ongoing conversation just as dinner was being served.

The meal that the private Chef had prepared - poached salmon over wild rice - was absolutely exquisite. When the plate was set down in front of me, however, I almost didn't know what to do - it looked like art, not food. I glanced around me to see the rest of the Whitlock family diving in, so I figured when in Rome…right?

Mr. Whitlock broke the silence. "So Bella, how's that McCarty boy doing?"

I choked on my rice.

Jasper swallowed hard and stared down at his plate with wide eyes.

When I finally cleared my throat enough to speak, I looked up to find both of his parents waiting expectantly.

"Uh…Emmett was traveling with us for a while, but had to head back to Texas early to help out his father on the ranch," I spilled out hurriedly. "But the last time I talked to him he said to send his love to you both."

I glanced over to Jasper to see his eyes tighten briefly, continuing to find his salmon suddenly very interesting.

"Oh, that's too bad," Victoria added. "It's been so long since we've seen him. I wish he could've come here with the two of you, you know, to relax and have a good time."

I nodded and promptly stuffed my mouth full of salmon. I knew why I was tense on the subject of Emmett - I hadn't heard from him for the last two days, and it wasn't like him to not talk to me every day or even several times in one day. I hadn't even received so much as a text message.

I wasn't exactly sure why Jasper was so rigid, but he was nearly a statue beside me. His hand had left mine and the color was drained from his face.

_What was _that_ reaction about?_

Finally Jasper snapped out of his pause and broke the silence.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, Mom…I was thinking of taking Bella to Riley's winery tomorrow."

"Oh, Isabella, you'll love it," she gushed. "It's so gorgeous over there. You two should take some of the horses and ride over. I'm sure Riley would let you put them up in his barn while you sampled his latest fare. Be sure to give him a call before you drop by, dear."

"I will. Bella, that sound okay to you?" Jasper asked with a smile.

Even though I could clearly see his expression was a front, I responded anyway.

"Sure, that sounds great. I'd hate to be so close to California wine country and not get to see it."

Everyone politely chuckled at my response, as if this were some high class ladies' tea party and I just spilled the latest gossip. It felt forced, Jasper's reaction was a mystery, and now Emmett was at the forefront of my mind. Not quite the way I had intended my evening to end.

Nonetheless, the night did end after some more wine, casual conversation, and hugs from James and Victoria. Jasper took my hand as we climbed the stairs, once again with me following behind him. When we reached his wing I noticed him relax a bit. When we reached his bedroom, he ushered me in then closed the door to face me.

He sighed. "I'm sorry about my parents. They were kind of in their own little world tonight."

"It's fine," I shook my head. "They're good together, I can see it in the way they speak to each other and always hold hands. I've always like them a lot."

Jasper walked over to me and once again put my hands in his, letting them hang down at our sides. I leaned in closer to rest my head on his chest. I unexpectedly felt very drained by the whole evening, not to mention being on the road just hours before.

"Jazz…"

"Hmm?"

I inhaled deeply. "Listen, I know what I was insinuating only a few hours ago while we were in the shower, and believe me I've been itching to get you all to myself, but…well…" I trailed off as I looked at the ground and shuffled my feet, like a little girl who was about to be reprimanded.

"You're tired," he observed.

"Uh…yeah. Sorry."

He kissed the top of my head, then rested his chin there. I felt him exhale and lean into me closer.

**(Song suggestion: Farewell and Goodnight by Smashing Pumpkins)**

"Nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. I'm pretty tired, too. All I want to do is fall asleep with this beautiful woman in my arms."

"Guess that means I'll be taking the guest room," I teased.

"Don't you even think about it. You're not going anywhere, and there's no one else I'd rather be with, conscious or not, than you. Come on, I'll get you something to sleep in," he said as he pulled away.

He walked over to his closet and pulled out a soft, worn t-shirt and brand new pair of boxers and handed them to me. I smiled with heavy eyelids, then quickly changed. He simply stripped down to the boxers that were already on his body and climbed into bed, patting the space next to him for me to join him.

I crawled under the covers and scooted my body up against his. He was laying flat on his back while I was on my side, nestled into his arms with my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead and I melted into him even more.

"Bells…"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think about spending a day on the beach with me? Maybe in another day or so, since we've got Riley's to visit tomorrow."

"Mmm…will you be surfing?" I asked with a grin. I'd always wanted to see him in action on the waves. I imagined he'd be absolute poetry out there, with his long, sleek muscles flexing with each ripple of the water.

"Yes, and I'd like to teach you how, too."

I chuckled lightly at the thought. "You trying to purposely drown me? You know how clumsy I am. I'll probably be the only person in history to fall off my board and knock a shark out cold before it can even bite me."

"Nothing will happen to you. I told you I'd take care of you, remember? You can trust me," he said in such a reassuring tone that, if it weren't for my injury track record, I would have believed him instantly.

"Okay, the beach it is."

"Oh, and if you wake up in the morning and I'm not here, don't worry. I just have to run into town first thing to pick up something, then I'll be back to spend the afternoon with you. Make yourself at home, there will be breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. And like I said before, all your clothes will be clean by then and brought up here for you. Is that alright?"

I nodded. "I thought I'd spend the morning with Copper and Penny anyway. Turn them out, give them a good looking over, make sure they're doing okay."

"Miguel can do that for you."

"I know, but I'd rather do it myself. I know their quirks and ticks better, what they can take and what will need tending to."

"Sure. But don't hesitate to grab Miguel for help or for any supplies you might need. Or one of the other boys."

"Okay…"

Then I yawned, by body betraying my mental fight to stay awake.

"Okay…" he trailed off. "Sleep now, sweetheart. I love you…"

"Mmm…," I mumbled groggily, "love you, too, Jazz…" and in seconds I was out.

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Sun and a warm breeze from an open window made me leisurely open my eyes. I gradually got by bearings, remembering where I was exactly.

_Jasper's room…Jasper's bed…Jasper…?_

He wasn't next to me when I looked to my side. Then my brain caught up, and I remembered that he had some kind of errand to run in town.

I looked toward the nightstand on my side of the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. There next to the gold-framed photo of Jasper and I was a little folded note and a single red rose. I snatched up the little white paper and opened it up.

_My Sweet Bella,_

_You are the epitome of radiance lying there asleep in my bed. I will return to you soon and I'll count the seconds until then… ~ Jazz_

A colossal smile spread across my face. Sweet and romantic gestures were Jasper's forte, that was quickly becoming apparent. Sometimes it seemed overwhelming, but this morning it was simply charming.

I stretched my body then stumbled out of bed. My clothes and belongings were right there on top the couch, all folded and pressed, right next to my suitcase. I also found a stack of clothes on the other side of my suitcase with sales tags still on them - brand new and in my size. I stared at that second pile for a few minutes, contemplating, but inevitably decided to go with my own familiar clothes, even if they were a bit old.

I changed into a dark indigo wash pair of jeans that were slightly frayed at the bottom hem. I put on a white camisole and a navy blue button down shirt - leaving it all casually un-tucked - and promptly rolled the long sleeves to my elbows. Then I decided to pull on my favorite worn pair of boots, the ones made of coffee colored doeskin with the crepe soles.

I stole a glance at my attire in the mirror, deciding I didn't look too bad for spending the morning in the barn, even if it was a pretty fancy barn. Horses still shit after all, can't ever be _that_ fancy.

I washed up, brushed my teeth, and pulled my hair into a loose bun at the nape of my neck. Little pieces escaped to frame my face which always annoyed me, but today I didn't mind. My good mood overshadowed everything at that moment.

I grabbed my phone on the way out of Jasper's room and checked my messages as I made my way toward the barn.

No voicemails.

No texts from Emmett

One dirty joke text from Rosalie.

One picture message from Edward.

I decided my first order of business should be the breakfast that my growling stomach was demanding. When I walked into the kitchen, I was assaulted with the smell of blueberry waffles and maple syrup. One of the staff ushered me to the table and quickly retrieved a steaming hot stack of waffles for me with a large glass of orange juice. I thanked her profusely, to which she only nodded and smiled.

_Maybe she doesn't speak English…?_

I finished my fill of food, downed the OJ, then headed to the barn.

On my way I looked at my cell phone again. I figured I should begin with the only person I hadn't heard from. So I dialed Emmett's number and waited…and waited…and got his voicemail, again.

_Beep…_

"Em, it's Bella…again. Please call me and let me know if everything is okay," I pleaded with the recording. "I haven't heard from you in so long and I'm worried and…and I miss you."

I pressed the end button. I really did miss him. A lot. Being away from him physically was hard, but not even getting to hear his voice had been driving me insane lately. Emmett was the one constant in my life, and now he had become just another variable. I didn't like it.

I sighed and scrolled back through the text message list. I came to Edward's picture and decided to open it, hoping it would cheer me up.

_Who knows, maybe it's another great shot of his lovely nakedness._

No such luck, though the photo did bring a smile to my face.

It was Edward sitting next to Alice in a Starbuck's. The caption read: _"Eddie & Allie's new coffee addiction_." It did cheer me up to know that he had kept his promise to look out for Alice.

I sent him back a quick text.

_Glad 2 see u r taking care of my new lil "sister". B good 2 her & have a vanilla cappuccino 4 me!_

Needing more of a smile, I moved onto Rosalie's dirty joke. It was obviously meant to be sent to a guy, but she knew I could forward it to all the deserving men in my contact list.

_FWD: Hey, I found a prostitute here that charges by the inch! Obviously I couldn't afford her, but I thought you might enjoy a cheap night out!_

I had to laugh out loud to that one, and as I did I nearly ran into someone.

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry, Miguel," I exclaimed as I fumbled around trying to keep my balance.

"It's alright, Miss. No harm done. I didn't see you coming around the corner of the barn there," he said in a youthful voice.

_A youthful voice?!_

I looked up to find that it wasn't Miguel I had nearly bowled over with my clumsiness, it was his young son.

"You're not Miguel," was what my mouth blurted out before my brain filter could kick in.

He just laughed. "No, I'm not. I'm his son, Seth. You must be Jasper's guest, Isabella," he said as he extended his hand.

I shook it with mine. "Call me Bella. Yes, I'm here with Jasper…visiting."

"Glad you could join us. Are those your horses over there?" he asked, pointing to the first two stalls.

"Yes," I said as we walked toward them. "The one on the left is my gelding, Copper, and this is Penny."

"They're good-lookin' animals. I can tell they're really fit and healthy," he observed.

"Thanks. I do my best to take care of them. They take care of me so much when we're rodeoing, and I try to return the favor. Actually that's what I'm doing here this morning. I'd like to turn them out into a larger paddock for a while…that is, if that's ok…?"

Seth smiled. "Of course. I'll help you take them out," he said as he grabbed two lead ropes, handing one to me. "We can take them out back, there's an empty grass lot out there that will do just fine."

"Great, thanks."

We started to lead the horses out, me with Copper and Seth with Penny.

He looked back at me as he led her down the aisle way. "It's nice that you come down here yourself to do this kind of thing. I think it's better for the horses, ya know?"

"I agree with you one hundred percent. Jasper said that y'all could take care of these guys yourselves. Not that I doubt your ability or anything, but I actually enjoy taking care of my own horses," I replied.

"That's really cool. I could tell by the look on your face when we were unloading the horses for you yesterday that you wanted to be in there helping," he noticed.

"You've got that right. I'm definitely used to doing everything myself."

Our conversation quieted for a moment when we reached the empty pasture. We let both horses go and closed the gate, watching them as they both raced around the lot bucking and playing. Both of them stopped simultaneously and dropped down to the ground to roll on their sides and backs in the lush grass, effectively scratching their whole bodies. They stood, shook off, then milled around nibbling on the grass.

I turned toward Seth. "They're characters, those horses of mine."

"That's for sure," he agreed. "But I bet they get tired of being out on the road just like a person would."

"Yeah. This is really great that they get to relax a little, stretch their legs and play. It'll make them more focused and their legs stronger in the long run," I explained. "Actually, I was thinking of using a poultice on their legs tonight. Do you have any around here? I think my personal stash has run out."

"Sure thing," he said with a bright expression. "I've never actually had the chance to poultice one before. Dad usually does that. Do you think I could help?"

He was so eager, I couldn't help but agree. "Sure. You can work on Penny. I'll show you how."

"Awesome. Thanks, Bella."

"Well thank you for the help, Seth."

We watched Copper and Penny in the paddock for about an hour, and Seth bombarded me with questions about rodeo, Texas and life on a real working cattle ranch. I told him it wasn't nearly as glamorous as working here - the days were long, dirty and hard, but very fulfilling. He was enamored with my ramblings, so I just continued on.

Occasionally I would get in a question about his life. Turns out that Seth's father, Miguel, had fallen in love with a beautiful woman that lived on the vineyard next door. It was Riley's sister, Bree. She and Miguel hid their relationship well, that was until she became pregnant with Seth.

"My parents ran away together. Must have been a pretty romantic thing to do. Anyway, she had some complications and died when I was born," Seth continued the story.

"Oh, gosh…I'm so sorry, Seth."

"It's okay. I never knew my Mother, except for all the great things that Dad and Uncle Riley tell me about her. The two of them made up after my Mom died, and Dad moved me back here so I could be closer to family, and because he says that working for the Whitlock's is a Godsend, which I don't really disagree with. I get to work in a great barn and play with horses all day, when I'm not in school, that is."

"Jasper and I are supposed to go over to visit your Uncle and his vineyard later today," I said.

"You'll like him, and his wine. It's the best in Southern California," he beamed, obviously proud of his heritage.

We brought the horses in and cross-tied them in the aisle way as I showed Seth how to apply the poultice and bandages for cooling and support. He learned quickly, and kept a cheerful conversation going while we groomed and then put the horses away in their stalls.

Just as I was closing the latch to Copper's stall door, I felt strong arms encircling me.

"Looks like you've been busy," Jasper's drawl floated to my ear.

I leaned back into him. "Yep. Seth helped me pamper the horses today."

Seth stood to the side, sheepishly grinning at the little moment I was having with his employer. Jasper looked over to him and winked. Seth's toothy grin widened.

"Thanks for taking care of my girl today, Seth."

"Sure thing, Jasper. Bella and I had a good time. She taught me how to poultice a horse's legs," he rattled off with enthusiasm.

"That's cool, man. Hey, do you think you could saddle up Sloan and Ginger for us? We're headed over to your Uncle Riley's place today," Jasper said.

"No problem. I'll get right to it," he called over his shoulder as he bounded off toward the end stalls.

"Jazz," I protested, "we can saddle those horses up ourselves. You don't have to make him do it."

"Don't worry about it, Bells. Seth's got it. He does it all the time," he shrugged.

"Well so do I."

"Look, I told you not to worry and that I wanted to spoil you, so let me do it, okay?" He gave me the puppy dog eyes. I couldn't resist those on such a gorgeous male specimen.

"Okay," I relented.

Shortly after, Seth came striding back toward us, both horses in tow. Sloan, a gorgeous steel gray mare, was my mount, and the nearly white horse, Ginger, was Jasper's. We climbed aboard and headed down a dirt path that led into the tree line.

The ride was picturesque as the horses strolled the over small rolling hills of the neighboring vineyard. I could see the winery ahead of us through the sprawling green and purple of the vines.

All in all, it took about an hour to reach the barn near the back of the winery, and the whole way there I was in awe of the beauty around me. Even the smell - like concord grapes and ocean saltwater - was delicious.

We put up the horses in some empty stalls in the barn, which is where we briefly met Riley. He was a handsome man in his forties with a definite business-like attitude. He shook my hand, and when he shook Jasper's I noticed what I was certain was a rather large fold of bills pass between them. It was just like in the movies - trying to be inconspicuous, but completely obvious. I internally rolled my eyes.

"Good to see you, Jasper," Riley acknowledged. "I've got everything set up for you on the back patio by the pool, private, just as you requested."

"Thanks, man," Jasper said as he reached toward me to take my hand. "Come on, Bella. Riley's set out some of his reserved stock for us."

"Only the best for you two," Riley seemed to tease as we passed.

When we arrived at the designated spot, there was a table for two set with several different bottles of wine and glasses, multiple cheeses, fruits and some dainty crackers set on silver trays. Fresh flowers in a crystal vase on the table added the final touch of elegance.

The air was warm and a light breeze was blowing, making Jasper's blond hair graze his face seductively. My hair was also swirling lightly around my face. He leaned over toward me to tuck a strand behind my ear.

"I'm so happy that you're here with me, Bella," he said, his expression beaming.

He pulled out a chair for me, then filled my glass with wine from one of the bottles on the table. It was one of his favorite concords, he'd said.

I picked up the glass and let the divine liquid rush past my lips and hit my tongue.

"Mmm…Jazz, you were right. This wine is fabulous."

He took a sip. "Glad you like it," he smirked knowingly.

"Mr. Whitlock, are you trying to impress me?"

"I might be. Is it working?"

"Yes. But Jazz, you know you don't have to do things over the top just for me. I'm here with you because I like the person you are despite all the fancy trimmings."

"So then does that mean you don't want to use my ridiculously large and overpriced hot tub tonight?" His smirk grew.

"Well I didn't say that," I laughed. "But seriously, I'm falling for the caring, sweet and sexy guy I've known all these years, not the accumulated belongings or this extraordinary lifestyle."

He paused in thought for a moment. "That's why it has to be you, Bella. You're probably the only woman I know who can look at all of this," he said as he gestured toward the vast spread around us, "and truly appreciate it. You're beautiful, loyal and intelligent, but you're also honest and humble, not a gold digger or self absorbed like a lot of women. That makes me want to spoil you even more. Promise me that while you're here, you'll just relax and let me take care of you?"

I bit my lip.

"Okay. But only because you sucked up and called me beautiful _and_ intelligent."

"See," his grin softened, "you're already taking compliments better."

"Maybe I just like taking them from you," I retorted.

He leaned over the table and grasped my hand in his. "Then I guess I'll have to give them to you more often, because I don't think I can tell you enough just how perfect you are."

"Don't call me that," I blushed and looked away.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not perfect. Far from it in fact."

He sighed. "In my eyes you are. And these eyes have seen your entire body. Or don't you remember?" A wicked grin spread across his face.

My blush deepened. "Oh I remember…every detail of your sexy form." As the sentence escaped my lips, my courage rose to the surface and I looked straight into his eyes. They looked as if they were about to pierce right through me. I could see the lust there, with longing and adoration flowing through them.

We sat there in idle conversation for a while longer, savoring the amazing things the wine and food was doing to our pallets. The sun was starting to set, signaling that it was time for the ride back to the Whitlock abode before it got too dark.

We rose from our seats and Jasper pulled me to him. My body molded to his as he held me close and started kissing me deeply. I sighed and almost whimpered into his mouth as our lips moved together. I could taste the sweetness of the wine on his tongue. When the kiss ended I was smiling up at him as he still held me close.

Then there was a sudden flash of light.

"Mr. Whitlock! Mr. Whitlock! Is this the latest girlfriend?"

_FLASH!_

"Mr. Whitlock! Does this mean you're officially off the market?"

_FLASH!_

"What's your name, doll?"

_FLASH!_

**(Song suggestion: Ride by The Vines)**

I blinked furiously. Jasper drew me into him and covered me up long enough to curse under his breath, then he took my hand and started to run toward the barn.

"Jasper, what is going on…" I yelled as I tripped and sputtered behind him, trying to keep up.

_FLASH! FLASH!_

"Just run for the barn, fast…" he hollered back.

We reached the barn and flew inside. Jasper turned around and shut the barn doors, locking them from the inside.

"Jasper! What the fuck was that out there?!" I was beyond angry at this point.

He shook his head and clenched his fists. "Paparazzi. They're tabloid photographers. Someone must've told them I was here, or else they were waiting for someone else, spotted me and decided that I was a better target."

I didn't know what to say. It was so surreal. Never in a million years had I ever thought that I would have a reason to outrun paparazzi.

"We've got to get out of here," he nearly ordered as he pushed past me to get the horses. "I'm going to open the barn door for you and I want you to kick that horse and run like hell back the way we came. I'll be right behind you. Got it?"

"Yes," I almost questioned nervously.

My shaky voice must've been enough to cause Jasper's internal eruption to stop cold for half a second. He handed me my horse's reins, then held me out at arms length to look at me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry that this had to happen tonight. They're animals out there, and don't listen to anything they say, alright? Just start running that horse and don't stop until you hit the tree line on my property."

I nodded.

He hugged me close for a moment until the inevitable banging and shouting started just outside the doors.

"Mr. Whitlock…we just want a quick comment from you. Is this that girl going to be the new heir to the Whitlock fortune?"

He signed and pulled away. "Don't listen, just run," he reiterated.

I mounted up as he approached the door. With one swift movement the door was swung open and I started kicking. My horse, Sloan, was up to full speed by the time I was at the wall of photographers, and they scattered like stampeding cattle to get out of my way. It was a good thing, because there was no way I was stopping. I could see flashes from their cameras and hear them calling after me and yelling questions at Jasper.

I kept on running, pushing the mare beneath me as hard as she could go. I didn't look back until I was safely in the trees. Jasper was only about thirty seconds behind me, and the wall of cameras had stopped at the far edge of the vineyard, unable to keep up.

He pulled Ginger to a stop, never taking his eyes off of me.

"Shit, Bella…I'm so sorry about that. I didn't expect them to be there, otherwise we never would have gone. I didn't want to have to put you through that so soon."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I mean, you go through it all the time. It was inevitable for them to descend on me at some point like vultures at their last meal."

Relief washed over him at my reply. "You really are amazing, you know that? Anyone else would have either wanted to stay there and be in the spotlight, or else they'd be chewing me out right now for putting them through such an ordeal. But not you."

I shrugged. "I figure it's a part of your life you'd rather not have and that you can't control. No use worrying over nothing," I explained.

**(Song suggestion: You by Switchfoot)**

"That's why it has to be you," he said almost under his breath as he turned to lead the way home. I didn't know if I was meant to hear that part or not, so I kept quiet.

The last leg of the ride was definitely more peaceful as we both settled into an amiable silence, simply enjoying the scenery.

When we reached the barn again, Seth took and tended to our horses with a big, goofy grin plastered to his face without saying a word. It was odd, but then again the kid was pretty much always happy, so I quickly dismissed it.

Jasper grabbed my hand and silently led me toward the back of the barn, where the sunset and a view of the endless rolling green pastures filled with horses was visible through the large sliding doors. It had quickly become one of my favorite places on the property.

As we got closer to the doors, I noticed something white spread all over the floor - rose petals. There were covering everything, like it had just snowed them down from the heavens, and there were little white twinkle lights strewn all around and above us, even in the shrubs just outside the door.

My heart started pounding. I took in the scene before me, and all of the little innuendos thrown out there by Jasper today.

_Oh my God. Is he going to…?_

We reached the end of the decorated barn isle and Jasper stopped to turn and face me. His eyes were dancing with anticipation as they searched mine.

Honestly, I had thought about this day happening - a lot - but that didn't mean I had made up my mind about any of it.

_Could I really spend the rest of my life, here, with this man in front of me? Would I be truly happy? Can I make him truly happy? Am I enough for him and for this whole life that he leads?_

I wasn't certain to any of the answers to those questions. I mean, of course I loved Jasper and I would always love him. I just didn't know if it was the right kind of love, or if it was enough…for either of us.

I was out of time. The man in front of me was ready to make the grand declaration, claiming me as his for all eternity. Yet here I was, my nerves and indecision making me flounder like a fish on the bank.

"Bella," he whispered. Both of us were trembling at that point, only for completely opposite reasons.

His hand was nervously fiddling with something in his pocket. Just as he was opening his mouth to speak again, the phone in my pocket started ringing. I recognized the ring tone. It was one I hadn't heard in too long a time.

_Emmett._

Jasper closed his eyes and let out the air he had been holding in. I pleaded with him with my eyes, trying to will him to understand that I needed to take this call, but he wouldn't look at me. He backed away, running his hand over his face.

In that split second I was torn wide open between the man who was right here in front of me - who openly loved me, who was ready to give me everything I ever dreamed of - and my best friend - the one who was there for me for so long but had recently removed himself from my life…until this very moment in time.

Then I made the choice.

I dove into my pocket and flipped open the phone.

"Hello? Emmett? Why haven't you answered any of my calls?"

"Bella," he croaked. "Bella, I need you to come home…"

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Gasp! Oh no! What will Bella do?!**

**For those of you who would like to have seen Jasper and Bella's shower adventure get a little steamier in Chapter 12, I'll but putting up an outtake in "Alternative Notion" that will narrate an alternate ending to that night. I left it out of the main story just because I didn't want Bella being too frivolous with her goodies. **

**New updates on both "Notion" and "Alternative Notion" will be up soon!**

**Review and let me know what you think! They're greatly appreciated!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey all! Thanks for the great reviews! Keep 'em coming!**

**There is a new outtake posted on my spin off story "Alternative Notion" - an alternate reality of Jasper and Bella's hot shower scene from Chapter 12...lemony delicious!**

**I'll apologize now to Kerry - you've been a tremendous help, but this story just took on a life of it's own. Please don't hate me! ****J**

**I'll start this chapter with a snippet from where we left off in the last chapter…**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_In that split second I was torn wide open between the man who was right here in front of me - who openly loved me, who was ready to give me everything I ever dreamed of - and my best friend - the one who was there for me for so long but had recently removed himself from my life…until this very moment in time. _

_Then I made the choice. _

_I dove into my pocket and flipped open the phone. _

"_Hello? Emmett? Why haven't you answered any of my calls?"_

"_Bella," he croaked. "Bella, I need you to come home…"_

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Chapter 14...**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(Song suggestion: Konstantine by Something Corporate)**

I stopped breathing. The breath on the other end of the phone was ragged…tired…shaking.

"Emmett, what's wrong?" My tone was serious and direct. I could tell something wasn't right. He wasn't right. His voice was all wrong.

"I just…I don't want to do this to you, but I can't help it. I can't do this alone. Please, Bella…please come home…" He was choking back tears, I could hear it.

"Emmett please, just tell me what's wrong." Now I was shaking and on the verge of tears. Never in my life had Emmett McCarty admitted that he needed help from someone else, yet he was asking me at that very moment.

Fear racked my body as I thought through all the scenarios that would prompt him to call me in his current state.

_Something happened to really shake him up. Was it the horses? His…our family? Something about the ranch? _

_Fuck…it has to be bad for him to want me to come home. It's so bad that he doesn't want to tell me over the phone…_

Then it hit me that the phone had gone eerily silent.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God…_

"Emmett? Em, are you there?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen - _call ended_.

"Fuck," I spat and immediately tried to redial Emmett's number.

All I got was a busy tone.

I dialed it again.

Another busy tone.

I tried to call Emmett's father - nothing. I tried to dial the land line at the ranch and again there was no answer.

_This is wrong. Really wrong. So wrong. Why won't they answer? What happened? His voice - I've never heard it like that before. He had been crying. Emmett doesn't cry, he's the strong one. But not today, not now. He's not strong enough to handle whatever it is and he needs me…he said he needs me…_

"Fuck," I said under my breath. I stared off into space. Thoughts…so many thoughts buzzing through my head were making me dizzy. I tried to will them to slow down, to focus…and I finally did, settling on only one important notion. I didn't even understand the words until they came out of my mouth.

In such a low whisper I wasn't sure I had even said it…"I have to go."

"What?"

All of a sudden I broke from my stare.

_Shit…Jasper._

In all my internal fretting, I had forgotten about him standing right there, in this decorated barn aisle, probably on the verge of proposing. And there I was, the only thought in my brain circling around another man.

"What did you just say," Jasper repeated, annunciating every syllable deliberately.

I froze for an instant. Then I started running away from him to the other end of the barn.

"I have to go," I called over my shoulder. "Seth!" I yelled. "Seth! Where are you?!"

Little Seth finally appeared in the doorway ahead of me as I ran toward him.

"Bella, everything ok?" he asked, concern crossing his face at my insanity.

"There's no time, I have to go. I need you to get my truck and trailer and drive them over here _right now._ Can you do that?"

"Sure, Bella. But don't you want to…"

"No! I need to leave _now," _I said with all the force I could muster, probably freaking out the teenage boy in front of me even more.

"Okay, I'll go get them," he called as he ran back out the door.

By then Jasper had caught up to me. I was trying to get into Penny's stall when he grabbed my arm hard, stopping me cold. Despite his sweaty palms, his grasp was firm - so firm that I was sure there would be a hand shaped bruise there tomorrow.

"Bella," he said in a strangled voice, yanking me around to face him.

I was staring at a pained man. Sadness, anger, love, jealousy, confusion, betrayal - all of these emotions were written on his face and swimming in his eyes. I knew I was breaking his heart, and possibly mine in the process.

Yet it didn't matter.

My best friend in the entire world needed me and it didn't matter the reason. I would drop everything, give up everything - anything and everything - if he merely asked me to. It didn't make any logical sense to me, why I could so easily drop everything for one and not the other. So how was I supposed to explain that to the perfect man in front of me, the perfect man who was about to perfectly propose in this perfect place?

"Bella, please…just wait-"

"No," I cut him off, shaking my head and closing my eyes. "I can't wait. Something's wrong with him, Jasper, something big. He asked me to come home - he never asks anything like that of anyone, let alone me - that means there's something _really wrong. _The phone cut out before he could tell me what was going on," I spit out as fast as I could - so fast I nearly sounded like an auctioneer. But I was wasting time having to explain myself. I needed to leave…_now_.

I tried to pull away from Jasper, but he held me fast. My arm started to throb from the lack of circulation.

"Please…let me try to call him, or someone else down there. You don't have to leave yet, slow down and let me figure this out," he tried to plead, desperation in his voice. "Why can't you just stay here with me and we'll get to the bottom of things together?"

I had to use all my strength to pry his fingers from my arm. He must not have realized how tight he was holding me, because once he looked down to see my fingers pulling at his, he immediately let go.

I tried again to explain the unexplainable. "No. I need to go. You don't understand…he's my best friend, family, and he said that he needed me to come home. He practically begged, and you know that he just doesn't do that. Hell, he virtually threw me at you when he left a few weeks ago, so this isn't a fucking social call!"

My irritation was boiling to the surface. Once again I reached for my horse's stall door, managing to open it a few inches, only to have Jasper grab it while still in motion and slam it shut with authority.

"Bella, stop." He took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm his flailing temper. "You don't even know why he called. Why don't you let me send someone down there - Miguel maybe - to see what's going on."

My mouth dropped open and I gaped at him in horror. Emmett said he needed me, but Jasper was his friend as well. Yet the man in front of me wasn't concerned enough to want to go down there himself. He hadn't offered to come with me. He wasn't worried about Emmett at all - the only thing that mattered to him was keeping me contained right here.

I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth together in frustration.

"I need to go home," I hissed through my teeth. And then I drove the last nail into the coffin of 'what could have been'. "Nothing else matters right now. _Nothing_."

Jasper stood stark still as I turned and hastily stumbled into my horse's stall, leaving him seething. From the corner of my eye I could see his face turn to a white stone, then red with anger.

The rumble of the diesel truck sounded outside sending my heart into even stronger palpitations than before. I was slipping on Penny's halter, fumbling around in my haste when Seth came bounding back into the barn then.

"Bella, do you want me to run to the house, have one of the maids gather your things there?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, if you can. But if not it doesn't matter," I shouted as I trotted Penny out of the stall, brushing past a still motionless Jasper and toward the awaiting trailer.

Seth spun around and sprinted for the house. I really didn't care about those clothes. I didn't care about anything but getting home.

I loaded Penny onto the trailer, then jumped out and headed for Copper's stall.

Jasper stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

"Do you know what you're doing?" His tone was dark and incensed. His eyes bore down on my, and I nearly burst into flame from the rage burning in them.

I looked up at him. I knew what I was doing; I knew what I was so ready to sacrifice.

"Yes," I said definitively.

"Really? Because I don't think you do." He was almost yelling now, mere inches from my face. My breath caught in my chest, suddenly afraid of the vehemence I never thought him capable of.

"Fuck, Bella! I just got you here and now you're running away, running for home! Why is it that you can't stay away from him, huh? What makes him more important?"

I could feel my face getting hotter, tears of anger starting to well in my eyes as I began screaming. "Why are you being like this, Jasper? He's your friend too damn-it, and he's my fucking _family_! The only one I've got now! It doesn't matter why he needs me! And you didn't hear him on the phone…you just don't understand," I repeated, trying to drive the sentiment home.

"You're fucking right I don't understand," he shouted back. "I don't understand why you can run to him at the drop of a hat and why it took me all these years to get you to even consider kissing me. I don't understand how you can pick that old run down ranch over what I know is your fucking dream equine operation here, complete with anything you could ever ask for simply handed to you. And I really don't fucking understand how you're so eager to dismiss this," he yelled as he thrust his hand into my face.

There in his palm was a ring. A diamond ring. But not just _a_ diamond…several diamonds, probably totaling six or seven carats, set in an intricately webbed platinum band. It was striking. It was too much. It was meant to be mine. And I was leaving it behind, right along with the man who was promising to love me for a lifetime.

Still, my subconscious was crying out to go home to Emmett.

"Jazz," I breathed. "I-I…" I stuttered as I closed my eyes.

I had no idea what to say to make it better. I don't think I could have said anything at that point. Again, it didn't matter.

My brain suddenly kicked into overdrive. Flashes of all the Whitlock's extravagance, their lifestyle, all of the _things_ and possessions, the expectations, the press, the coddling, the fucking private chef…

"Jasper, how did you expect me to live up to this kind of life? I would never be good enough for you to parade around through all this extravagance. I'm just a country hick, I don't have style or grace or even proper etiquette to live like you, to be the kind of woman that you need draped on your arm. I can't live up to all this! You set the bar so fucking high that I'd never be able to reach it!"

"Fuck, Bella! All I ever fucking wanted was you! I want to marry you for Christ's sake," he argued.

"Really Jasper? You want to propose to me? We've barely spent any time really getting to know each other! I thought I knew you before, but after being here even just these few days with you, I realized I don't know you at all and you certainly don't know me or else you would've grasped that none of those material things matter to me! They never have! Coddling me and throwing fancy things around is not what I want. I just…I just can't do this right now," I heaved out in sobs as I pushed past him to get to Copper.

I heard some sort of growl escape Jasper's body, then a loud _thud_ as he pounded his fist into the oak stall front next to him. I jumped at the sound. He was gazing down at his bleeding hand, looking completely numb in his appearance when I stepped into the aisle way. He just kept staring blankly at the blood dripping from his knuckles as I rushed past him.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I loaded Copper and closed up the trailer. There were so many reasons to be crying right then, and I didn't know which one was making the tears come so quickly.

Seth made it back with my suitcase and threw it in the back seat of the truck. "I got it, Bella," he panted, out of breath.

I hugged him. "Seth, thank you so much. You'll never know how thankful I am to have met you."

He hugged me back. "You be safe now, Miss Bella," he choked out, his eyes getting watery right along with mine.

**(Song suggestion: Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy)**

Then I turned to Jasper. A loud sob ripped through me when I saw him standing there just looking at me still from inside the barn. There was nothing there in his face, his eyes. He was blank.

"I…I'm so sorry, Jasper. I h-hope you can forgive m-me…someday," I stammered as I cried.

He didn't move. He didn't speak.

I wanted to run to him and hold him. I wanted to run away and get in the truck. I wanted all of this to be okay somehow, for everything to just reset and go back to the way it was when I had just turned sixteen - happy, uncomplicated.

But nothing would ever be the same. I could never have that back again, not after my parents' death and not after today.

I blinked the tears away from my eyes as best I could, then turned and climbed into the truck. It roared to life and I pulled away from the perfect life I could have had. In my side mirror I could see Jasper as I drove away - still standing there, still cold and vacant. That was to be the image sure to haunt my dreams.

Yet I drove. I drove on to honor the promise I made all those years ago. I would be and do anything for the one person who was my other half, the only family I had left.

My heart was torn, shredded down it's length from top to bottom. Torn for the life and love I could have had and was leaving behind. Torn for the life to which I was returning, because I wasn't sure how that familiar life was going to be changed when I got there.

As I entered the freeway I was overcome with my tears and grief. I tried to wipe them away, but more inevitably replaced the ones that met my sleeve. My chest felt heavy, like it was going to cave in on itself at any moment. Grief for what I had just done to Jasper, fear for what I might find at home, worry for Emmett, sorrow for myself and the mess I was making. I was like a giant tornado, leaving a path of destruction in my wake. No matter where I went I was bound to uproot and dismantle the things that I held

dear.

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**(Song suggestion: Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park)**

It was a thousand mile trip home, and I knew I would be crying pretty much all the way. A few times - somewhere around two hundred miles into it - I thought about jerking the wheel into oncoming traffic, or maybe over a cliff. I figured I could end everyone's troubles with just one quick turn of my wrists.

Only two things stopped me: my horses, helplessly attached to the vehicle that could bring my sweet demise, and knowing that Emmett needed my help. Though I still had no idea what kind of help he needed. I kept trying to call. So much so that my phone battery was dead within half an hour of me starting the trip - I had to plug it into the truck's cigarette lighter to charge.

I knew I'd hit a low point with the thought of taking my own life. My tears were slowing at the moment, so I decided that I needed to talk to someone. I dialed my own personal New York therapist.

The phone rang twice, then he picked up.

"Hello, love."

"Edward…" my voice cracked out.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked in a hurried tone.

"I…I left Jasper's. We had a fight over Emmett calling me and asking me to come home. Emmett was crying - something was really wrong, he never cries - and then the phone cut out and I can't get a hold of anybody on the ranch. Jasper lost it because he was about to…to propose to me…and I just left…" Tears started flowing again and I sniffled into the phone.

"Jesus, Bella," Edward said under his breath. "First of all, are you okay?"

I shook my head even though he couldn't see it. "No. I almost…" I sighed. "I almost swerved the truck off the road. I wanted to just not feel, to die so that I wouldn't hurt anyone ever again."

"Bella," he said in a slow, commanding tone. "You need to listen to me. Taking your own life will only cause more pain and heartache for everyone you leave behind. Trust me. Even though you're on the other side of the country right now, and I don't care if all we ever have are phone conversations; you're still one of the best people I know, and losing you is not an option for me."

His words started to sink in. My chest didn't feel so heavy right then. The tears were still coming, though I knew there was no stopping those until the ducts actually ran dry.

"Thank you, Edward. I don't know how you do it, but you always manage to say the right things, like you can go through peoples' heads and figure out exactly what they need to hear."

"It's a gift, what can I say," he remarked sarcastically. "But seriously, love, you need to relax a little. You've obviously made a choice that somewhere deep down inside you can feel is right. From what little I know and what you've been describing to me in our conversations of Jasper, he's a good guy, but has only been considering his own wishes and beliefs, not yours. And like you said, Emmett is your family. Where I come from, family comes first - blood runs the thickest. If Jasper can't see the reasoning in that, then he doesn't deserve you, and he should stay the fuck in California. Or better yet, send him here and I'll show him the meaning behind a New York Irish family."

A small chuckle actually escaped my lips. Edward was good.

"Again with the knowing just what to say. You sure you shouldn't be a shrink instead of a fireman?"

"Positive," he assured. "My imaginary couch is only open to you. Abuse it as you see fit."

"Again, thank you, Edward. You have a way of spinning some clarity onto things for me like no one else."

"Happy to be of service. So, you going to be okay, or am I getting on a plane and coming to your rescue tonight?"

Loaded question. I had to pause and think for a minute.

"Yeah, I think I am okay," I tried to believe out loud.

"I don't think you've completely convinced me, but I do think you'll make it for at least the next few hours. So, I'm going to hang up now, but anytime you need to call me don't you dare hesitate to use that phone. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Alright. You be careful. If you don't call me before, then at least call me when you get home, so I know you're okay." Caring and concern was lacing his voice.

"I promise I will. Really, thank you Edward."

"Anytime, love. Anytime."

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**(Song suggestion: Cold Desert by Kings Of Leon)**

Driving through the Arizona and the New Mexico desert gave me plenty of time to think. It was dark, which made traveling a little better - cooler for the horses and my truck to stay out of the blazing one hundred ten degree sun that beat down during the day - so at least timing was on my side in that respect.

My tear ducts had officially run dry, and my eyes were aching. I felt like jell-o in the seat of the truck, flopping a little each time I hit a bump in the road. I was physically and emotionally worn out, even though I knew that this rollercoaster wouldn't be over for a while.

I still hadn't heard from Emmett or anyone on the ranch. I reached for my phone and dialed his number again. I knew it was futile, especially after already leaving eight other messages. But I listened to the ringing, the woman's voice directing me to leave a message, then the beep.

"Emmett, I'm so worried about you. I still don't know what's going on. It's the middle of the night - or the morning I can't tell, but it's dark. I'm coming home. I'm somewhere in new Mexico right now. Please, please call me. It's driving me fucking insane that I don't know if you're okay. Love you, Em."

I hung up, still feeling empty. I wouldn't feel whole again until I saw him, until I knew he was alright.

I took a long pull from the vanilla cappuccino I picked up at a truck stop a while back figuring it was finally cool enough that I wouldn't retain third degree burns on my tongue from it. I didn't necessarily need the caffeine; I wasn't afraid of falling asleep while driving through the night. There was no way I was going to sleep anyway even if I was stationary - too many unresolved questions floating through my already overcrowded brain.

At some point I had called Rosalie. She didn't answer. I left her a message explaining my actions and apologizing to her for essentially breaking her brother's heart. I did the same with Alice. I was hoping and praying that they could forgive me and try to understand my position.

I didn't call Jasper. Oh, I had dialed his number about a hundred times, only to flip the phone closed and throw it down on the seat of the truck again. I'd stare at the tiny offensive piece of technology for a few miles, then inevitably grab it and start dialing again, only to chicken out once more. Finally, as I crossed the border into Texas, I made the decision not to call Jasper until I was home and safe with all of the facts laid out about what was going on. That seemed like the right thing to do for now.

The road was long, straight and flat before me. The little white dashed lines of the highway were keeping rhythm with the music on my radio - "Hello Alone" by _Anberlin_ - as I pushed the speed limit as much as I could dare.

I wondered - right along with the music - if anybody was out there that could make me feel whole again. I felt alone, like I was caught between two dimensions, unsure which was reality and which was a fabrication.

The words called out to me, my own personal anthem.

_Is this the end of everything we know…_

_Is this the end of everything I am…_

_Is anybody out there…hello alone…_

Maybe this was the way I was supposed to be - alone.

I shook my head, desperately trying to clear those thoughts away. This whole mess wasn't about me. I needed to stay focused.

The road began to look more and more familiar the longer I drove. I was getting close. The sun was just starting to come up along the horizon in front of me as I headed east, headed home.

I would be there by late morning. As the miles and the minutes ticked by, I began to grow more and more anxious. My palms began to sweat and the steering wheel was hard to grip. I noticed my hands shaking and my left leg bouncing up and down. The air was getting hotter outside, but I was cold - I've always gotten cold when I was nervous.

I don't remember entering the Midland city limits. I don't remember turning onto the road that lead to the ranch. I do remember pulling onto the long driveway, my heart pounding so hard that I thought it might break right through my ribs. I took short, shallow breaths, my whole body shaking.

I stopped at the main house first. When I got out, one of the newer hands came over to help. I asked him to take care of my horses, put them in some stalls in the barn for me.

"I can't Miss Bella," he replied.

"What? Why not?"

"Because the main horse barn burned down two nights ago."

My eyes widened. I spun around to look where the barn should have been situated. In it's place was a large pile of blackened timber, still smoldering.

My hand clutched onto my chest as it tightened. I couldn't breathe. I could barely speak, but somehow I needed to force the words from my throat.

"Where's Emmett," I managed to mutter.

"He's down at the bunkhouse, ma'am. Just got back here from the hospital this morning…"

I didn't stick around to let him finish his sentence - I was moving toward our bunkhouse. My eyes began to well as I past the remnants of the barn, but I couldn't look at that right then. The only thing I was trying to focus on was the figure coming into view as I moved, the one sitting on the steps of the bunkhouse.

_Emmett._

His head was in his hands. His massive frame was quivering. But my brain registered that he was physically okay, that he was alive and breathing in and out. That had been my main concern.

**(Song suggestion: Have A Little Faith In Me by Joe Cocker)**

I froze about fifty feet away.

Emmett's head slowly and painfully rose from his hands. His bloodshot eyes met mine - he had been crying there, alone.

He didn't move. He just sat there, shock written on his face.

I moved toward him. Slowly at first…then I was running. Just as I was about to reach him, Emmett stood up and I leaped into his waiting arms. He engulfed me, pulled me close, lifted me off the ground as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. My arms held onto him as tightly as they could and my heart was literally aching from being away from him.

"You're here," he mumbled in disbelief into my neck.

"You asked me to come home."

"But I didn't know-"

I interrupted him. I couldn't let his train of though continue. "It's you and me, remember? I promised, so I'm here."

"Bella," he sighed, still not letting go.

I heard him sniffle and felt his tears against my skin. I was crying, too, utterly unable to hold them back. I didn't want him to let me go as I came to the ultimate realization: I may have gotten out of the truck at the McCarty ranch, but I wasn't truly home until I was in Emmett's arms. I didn't know until that moment. It was defining.

"Emmett, don't you ever fucking leave me again," I sobbed into his shoulder, which caused him to cry even harder. He was still holding me tightly, still suspending me in the air.

"I'm so sorry, Bella…I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do, who else to call," he rasped, trying to get hold of his emotions and failing miserably.

Finally he carefully loosened his grip and let me slide down his body until my feet touched the ground, but he didn't let me go. His strong arms kept me pressed against his chest, where I laid my head and listened to his thrumming heart. One of his hands raised up to stroke my hair as we stood there, swaying ever so slightly in our embrace.

My emotions were all over the map. There wasn't a single one that I could pick out among the dozens that washed over me.

I don't know how long we stood there in each other's arms. It felt like a second…it felt like an eternity. Whatever it was, it was perfect because I was _home_. That word had taken on a brand new meaning.

At some point, we both sank down to sit on the front porch steps. I leaned against the railing, holding Emmett within my tiny arms. His back was pressed to my chest, his head falling back to my shoulder. One of my hands was wiggled under his arm and laid over his heart covered by his massive paw. My other hand was idly drawing my fingernails though his short, curly black hair. He was starting to close his eyes and relax into me - though not so much as to crush me with his weight.

It was odd to comfort him like this, yet familiar at the same time. He wasn't one to show how vulnerable he could really be, and I knew that something horrible had happened to allow me to comfort him in this way.

I drew in a deep breath and asked the burning question.

"Emmett? What happened?"

I felt him tense in my arms, then go slack with the escape of a gust of air from his lungs. He minutely shook his head and clamped his eyes shut before he started.

"There was a fire," he began in a quiet, raspy voice. "I was in bed, staring at the ceiling at one in the morning - I haven't been sleeping well since…well, since I came home. I was lying there and I could smell something burning. And then I heard this piercing scream coming from the barn, only it wasn't made by any person…" he trailed off, swallowing loudly and trying to choke back the tears falling from his eyes again.

His hand gripped tighter onto mine as he continued. "I flew out of the house and ran to the barn, screaming for help. My Dad came running out of his house, too and we both raced into the barn to try to save the horses." He paused, taking a deep breath. By now my tears were falling again.

"We got most of them out, but Scarlet and Rhett were in the back of the barn, farthest away from the door…Scarlet's mane and tail were on fire when I finally got her out of the barn. One of the hands started snuffing them out with his jacket. I turned around to go back in for Rhett and saw my Dad standing in there in the flames. There was a loud crash and part of the roof came down, pinning him and Rhett in the aisle."

He was visibly shaking now and I clutched to him with all my strength, silently trying to let him know that I was there.

"I was able to move the beam that pinned Dad down, and I rolled him around to put out the flames on his clothes. Rhett was looking at me, struggling, and on fire…but there was nothing I could do for him…I needed to get my Dad out…" he stammered. "I picked up my Dad and ran him out of there. It was too late to go back in - the fire was too bad. I heard Rhett's whinnying scream…burning alive. Scarlet was screaming back, trying to run over the hand that was holding her to go back inside the burning barn…and there was nothing I could do."

He paused to allow his eyes to well up again. A huge crocodile tear slid down his cheek before he went on.

"My Dad has really bad burns on fifty percent of his body. Nearly his whole right side, arm and leg, which are both broken. He's in the hospital. They put him in a chemically induced coma so he won't feel the excruciating pain from the burns and breaks that they can't they even set yet. And it's all because he went in after _my_ horse."

It was then, through my tears, that I noticed the burns, cuts and scrapes along Emmett's hands, arms and face. I hadn't even seem the bandage on the palm of his right hand, or the one peaking out of his shirt that was on his left wrist. He was battered physically and broken mentally.

"H-how did it start?" I whispered.

His jaw clenched, and I could see his sadness take a turn toward anger.

"It was those fucking animal rights activists. Apparently they'd been hiding out, casing the place from the hay loft of the barn. One of them was smoking and dropped their cigarette butt into the hay. I only know this because the one son of a bitch just stood there dumbfounded, watching us run in again and again after the horses, while all his crony friends were running down the road to an unmarked van. He stood there, another cigarette in his hand, watching my Dad and my horse get burned alive. I tried to kill him. It took four of the hands to pull me off of him. He just kept saying he was sorry, that it was about keeping the animals safe. Stupid mother fucker…" he spat with venom pouring from his words. "'It's about the animals' my ass. Those fucking animals get better care than most people in nursing homes, which is probably where they just condemned my Dad to living with their idiotic quest to free the animals. The cops came and arrested the stupid bastard. He's pleading guilty to trespassing, attempted arson and attempted manslaughter."

"Oh, Em…" I breathed as I kissed his temple, trying futilely to make it all better.

He sighed. "That's why I called you. I just can't go through this alone. I'm so sorry, Bella."

His anger quickly faded into remorse. I felt his shoulders sag with the weight of his thoughts.

"Emmett, stop it. The only thing you should be sorry for is not calling me right away the night it happened."

"I didn't want to take you away from the road, away from Jasper," he said as he looked down at his feet. "But I couldn't help it. I needed you here. So I broke down and called. I was going to explain everything on the phone, but my hands were shaking so bad that I dropped the phone and it smashed onto the sidewalk at the hospital and it stopped working," he admitted.

Now it was my turn to sigh, only it was in relief. "That explains some things. I tried to call you back, tried to call you all the way here. I was so worried about you. What I left doesn't matter. I'm here with you now, and there's nowhere else I want to be…except maybe visiting your Dad at the hospital. Your Mom must be a mess."

"She's taking it better than I am. She's so strong. Like you." He turned his head so his ice blue eyes could penetrate my chocolate brown ones. "I don't know what I would do without you in my life, Bella. I don't think I could do this without you."

"You don't have to. I'm not going anywhere," I promised, losing myself in his gaze.

Emmett turned back around and suddenly found his shoes very interesting again. "Something happened with Jasper when you left, didn't it?"

I rested my head against the side of his and nodded. "When you called he…we got into a fight. Things were going way too fast. I told him I couldn't live up to life he led. And he couldn't understand why I was ready to drop everything the second you called and go home. He wanted to send someone else down here to see what was going on. When I flat out refused and told him I was leaving, he lost it. So did I. We both did and said some harsh things, all of which are probably deserved and true. Anyway, I left, he stayed, and it's for the best."

"Bella," Emmett said in a serious tone, "I don't want you to give up a good life with him because of me, because I'm too weak to handle this on my own."

"Em, stop. This is my home. You are my family. And my home and my family needed me. Those are the reasons I came back. No one will ever come before you."

The truth of my admission brought a tightening sensation to my chest. My heart beat faster. I closed my eyes and got lost in the warmth of my best friend, my family, my home - all of which I was holding in my arms at that very moment. I was right when I told Jasper that nothing else mattered. I didn't need to leave to find myself or anything else like I had thought - my everything was in Texas all along.

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**A/N: Just so you know, this story is far from over! We still have more Texas adventures, Jacob and Leah's wedding, and possibly even a Vegas road trip! What will happen with Emmett and Bella? How will the rest of their friends react? What will happen when Jasper and Bella finally meet again? Stay tuned to find out!**

**I also plan to post another outtake for "Alternative Notion". Which would you rather read - an Emmett POV from the day of the fire, a Jasper POV from the day of the fight, both, or something else? Please review and tell me what you want to read! Thanks again!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I guess I should have given you a tissue warning for chapter 14. I was so incredibly happy with all the reviews for it - thanks again for continuing to support this little fic!**

**I've added another outtake to "Alternative Notion" - an Emmett POV during his call to Bella, and a Jasper POV for the fight scene. Hopefully that will give you some more insight into our boys' minds.**

**So…Bella's home, Emmett's home…how will they cope with all the bad news? Will Emmett finally come clean about his feelings? Prepare yourselves for angst-ridden McCarty…**

**And now, chapter 15...**

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I'm not sure how long I stayed on those steps, holding my best friend. It seemed like ages and at the same time not nearly long enough. But inevitably my brawny companion's stomach growled and I took it as my cue.

"Let me make you something to eat," I coaxed, breaking the silence that had settled around us. I really didn't know what else to say to fill stillness anyway, so his perpetually empty stomach saved the day. "You should eat something."

He let out a small sigh. "I'm not hungry."

"Liar. You're always hungry."

He chuckled. "Alright. But then I've got go - there are some things I need to take care of."

I nodded absently, not sure if I should invite myself along to whatever he had to do today like I always did, or if our dynamic had changed since I'd been gone. Maybe I shouldn't assume things.

"Can I come with you?" I asked in a small voice.

Emmett turned around and gave me a perplexed look. "Bella, why did you even have to ask me that? Of course I want you to come with me. You're finally back, and there's no way in hell I'm going to miss out on any more time with you than I already have," he affirmed.

My worried face broke into a smile and I squeezed my arms around him tighter.

"So what are we doing today?"

His mouth pressed into a firm line. "I need to go to town, stop at the insurance company's office to see about the claim on the barn. I have to go to the medical supply store to order some of the things my Dad will need for when he's able to come home. Then I'm supposed to meet my Mom at the hospital in the evening."

"Okay," I replied. "Then let's get some food into you so have the strength to get through all that."

We both stood up and I stretched as I started to walk toward the front door, only to be stopped by a large hand snaking around my waist. Emmett pulled me back against his chiseled chest, holding me close before placing a lingering kiss on my cheek. When he pulled his full lips away from me, I felt his breath tickle my ear.

"You're the one who is giving me the strength to go on with all of this." He kissed me again softly, this time just below my ear on my neck. "Thank you for coming home," he breathed.

I shivered, electric currents running from the point where his lips had connected to my skin all the way down to my fingers and toes. Guys have held me and kissed me - including Emmett when he was being mischievous and playful - but I'd never felt that type of shock before. It enveloped my whole being, making every hair on my body feel like it was standing on end.

"Emmett," I whispered, sinking back into him for a moment, reveling in that tingling feeling.

His embrace tightened when I spoke his name.

_Oh God, that feels good…_

_Shit, shut up Bella. He's way too emotional right now to think straight. Don't take advantage of this…no matter how good it feels…_

My prioritizing brain caught up with my body then, screaming at me that now wasn't the time for that sort of thing. There were roles to play, functions to perform, things that needed taken care of - that and I had just left a marriage proposal hanging less than twenty four hours ago. I chastised myself for being selfish and caught up in a moment that was so uncertain, one that may or may not have even meant anything at all. There was too much on our plates today to get caught up in that kind of emotion.

"Em," I croaked, my voice betraying my silent internal conflict as it broke. "I need to get to the kitchen to get you some food. We both need to eat. There's a lot to do today," I reasoned, both with him and myself.

His strong arms hesitantly let go. I forced my still wobbly legs to move forward into the house and he followed me inside, quietly leaning against the counter once we made it into the kitchen.

I fumbled through the refrigerator, looking for something edible, though it only seemed to contain beer, bottled water and a package of homemade beef jerky. I looked up over top of the door and scrunched my face at Emmett.

"Is this all you have in here? Beer and beef jerky?"

He laughed, the same throaty chuckle I had known forever. It was a wondrous thing, and I was grateful that it hadn't disappeared for good.

"What? It's bachelor food," he protested

I snorted, then let a smile play across my lips as well.

And just like that, we settled into our familiar banter as we dined on Ramen noodles that I found buried in the cupboard. The humor was a little strained given all that had gone on in the last few days, but it felt good - right - nonetheless. I was emphatically happy we could still have that between us.

After eating, I made it to my room, changed my rumpled clothes and flipped through my phone. I noticed that I had some new voicemails, but decided to ignore them for the moment. I dialed Edward's number instead and hit send. He answered on the first ring.

"You ok love?"

"What, no hello or other traditional greeting?"

He chuckled. "No, I've forgone all formality as it pertains to your well being."

"Whatever," I answered in my best valley girl impression, then laughed. "I just called to let you know that I made it home okay."

"Good. I was sitting here at the department refusing to let go of my cell phone, even when the guys started harassing me. I'll have you know that I'm putting up with some seriously embarrassing shit to make sure I didn't miss your call."

"Oh, my Edward in shining armor," I falsely gushed. "Wait - are you working right now?"

"Yep, sitting here for my shift at Station Fifty One of the New York City Fire Department, just waiting for that bell to sound."

I mentally smacked my hand on my forehead. "Shit, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you while you're working, and I definitely didn't mean to cause you any grief from the other firefighters."

"No problem, love. I'm a big boy, I can take it."

"Yes, yes you are a big boy."

"You would know."

"Yes I would," I smirked, just as I was sure he was smirking on the other end of the line. "Okay, enough about your phallic greatness."

"Damn-it, you know how I love talking about my greatness, but sure, anything you say…" he left off just as a loud ringing started in the background. "Sorry, Bella, that's my cue." I could hear him breathing hard on the other end of the line - running to grab his gear for whatever the situation that ringing was signaling him to. "I'll call you tomorrow. Bye, love," he hurriedly breathed.

"Be careful, Edward. Bye."

I flipped the phone shut and paused to clear my head, sending off a little silent prayer that my new friend would come through the danger of his job unscathed.

My next task with the tiny piece of technology was going to be far more daunting.

I closed my eyes and sighed, rubbing my eyelids with my thumb and first finger before giving in and dialing my voicemail.

"You have…three…new messages," the automated female voice announced.

_Why is it always a chick's voice on these automated things? _

I held my breath as I waited for whatever wrath I was about to endure.

"Bella, it's Alice. I got your message, got confused, then got on the phone with Rosalie and finally figured out what the hell you were talking about," she rambled so swiftly I almost missed it. "Listen, don't worry about a thing between you and me. I haven't known my dear brother for very long, but I've known him long enough to realize how little control he actually has over his actions and emotions. It's as if the man has some kind of impulse problem. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you and I are cool. Oh, and thanks for sending dreamy Eddie my way for company - my friends are flipping that I hang around with a New York firefighter! Call me!"

I let out the gush of air that I was holding, only to suck it back in as I waited for the next message.

"I don't know the full story, so I'm not going to pretend to be okay with anything either of you two did or did not do until I hear everything for myself. That being said, I'm sure my brother was a completely self-absorbed douche that hid behind some kind of chivalrous cape. Don't worry, you and I are good, I just don't want to jump to any conclusions until we've actually talked. I'm on my way back home now to survey the damage there for myself since Jasper isn't forming coherent sentences yet. Call me when you get this."

_Rosalie. Well at least she wasn't screaming profanities. _

I allowed myself two shallow breaths before the next message started playing. Then I stopped cold at the voice.

"Bella? Shit…I…I'm…God, I don't know what to say…fuck…" There was some fumbling, then the voicemail ended.

"End of new messages. To erase this message press…" the mechanical voice prompted as I shut my phone and stared at it in my hand.

The last message was Jasper. He had actually attempted to call me. From the sound of things, he had been dialing and hanging up, fighting with himself whether to leave a message or not, just as I had done during my drive home.

I tried to take a deep cleansing breath, but ended up coughing and sputtering - probably choking on the excess guilt and worry that was piling up in my chest. Somehow I managed to stuff it all back down and get a grip on myself. I vowed to call the girls back tomorrow and explain things in more detail. Jasper was another matter entirely, and I knew I needed more than just a day to deal with all that he entailed.

So, at least somewhat resolved, I raked my fingers through my hair, tugged at the hem of my fresh shirt, then found my way back downstairs to Emmett.

I decided to check on my horses before we left - since I sort of abandoned them with one of the newer ranch hands - and found that they had been turned out into a small corral and were happily munching on some hay. The trailer had been unhooked and the truck was parked in the driveway. I was relieved that my one track mind that was solely trained on Emmett when I arrived didn't have any consequences for my horses or the precious McCarty ranch truck.

I jumped into the driver's side of the truck with only minimal resistance from Emmett.

"Just what do you think you're doing, little girl," he called as he sauntered around the front of the truck.

"Well I thought I'd get in here and play a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit, farm truck addition…what the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

"I know you don't think you're actually going to be piloting my favorite vehicle, so it must be the board game that brought you here."

The sarcasm could be cut with a knife.

"Emmett McCarty, you are not going to be driving anywhere with all those bandages on your hands and arms, not to mention your mental state right now."

"And what about your utter lack of sleep, Miss Bella? I really don't feel like being wrapped around a tree this early in the day because your eyelids have sandbags in them."

I clenched my jaw. So did he. Then I did the only thing that would settle the dispute. I squeezed my fist shut and jutted it out into the air between us. Emmett eyed my suspended fist and narrowed his eyes at me for a moment before conceding, shoving his fist next to mine.

"One - two - three…" we counted together as our fists bounced up and down in unison.

He cursed under his breath and nearly glared at me. I shot him a look that said "this is _not_ negotiable" and he surprisingly backed away chuckling with his hands in the air signaling his surrender. I nodded and huffed, satisfied at how my paper covered that enormous rock slash hand splendidly.

We traveled around town, completing our various duties. Each time we entered a new building I would knowingly take Emmett's hand in mine, reassuring him that I was there and that we could do this together. And each time I didn't let go until we were safely back into the tiny comfortable space of the truck's cab.

Our final destination was the hospital. The long ride in the elevator to the fifth floor burn unit was tense to say the least, but Emmett's hand had found it's way to mine in the visitor's parking lot and hadn't let go yet. When the elevator doors opened, I could feel him give my hand a slight squeeze.

We stepped out onto the linoleum floor, greeted by the sound of the nurse's squeaking sneakers as they marched up and down the hallway. Our boots made little sound as we approached our destination - the private room at the end of the hall.

Stopping just outside the doorway, I peered in. Kate, Emmett's Mother, lifted up her weary face, putting on a brave smile when she spotted me. I tried to return the smile, but it was difficult in that setting.

"Bella, my gosh honey, it's so good to see you," Kate gushed, standing to walk over to me, giving me a warm hug. "Honey, you look tired. You didn't have to come here, you know. You could have waited-"

I held up my hand to cut her off. "Kate, I needed to be here, to be with my family. I would have been here sooner, but _someone_ only called me yesterday to tell me what was going on," I alleged as I gave a sideways glance toward the hulking form next to me.

I saw Kate's eyes narrow as she gave the same look to her son, _I told you so_ clearly her implied intent. I smirked just a little as Emmett bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand sheepishly.

Turning back to her, I decided to ask the tough question in a small, quiet voice. "So how is he doing?"

Apparently, Emmett had been through this enough times and slowly pushed past us to take a seat at his Father's side.

"Garrett's doing…okay," she sighed. "He has second and third degree burns on about half of his body. They're going to keep him in that coma for a long time, weeks if not months maybe, so he won't be in any pain while he heals. Because of that and the broken limbs, he's going to need a lot of physical therapy," she said mechanically. She must have been fed that line and repeated it to others a million times by now.

I reached out and took her hand. I could see she was thankful for the gesture and not the Spanish Inquisition, so she went forward on her own, answering the question she knew I was going to ask next.

"He'll be able to walk again, in time. But he won't be of much use on the ranch." Tears started to roll gradually down her cheeks. "He'll live, but it's going to kill him to not be able to saddle up and ride out with the rest of the boys. He's going to be heartbroken. And…oh, Bella…I am, too," she quivered. I pulled her toward me knowingly and held her tightly in another embrace.

Kate left go after a few minutes, having calmed herself. "I think I'll head down to the cafeteria now that you two are here to stay with Garrett. If that's okay?"

"Sure. Em and I will be right here when you're ready to come back," I reassured her. I couldn't even imagine what she was enduring, and I figured a small respite was needed for her to preserve her sanity.

She turned and paced down the hall, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. I moved into the room and took the empty seat next to Emmett, instinctively placing my hand over his on his armrest.

Both of silently appraised his Father's motionless form. There were bandages covering most of his body, so I couldn't make out the exact lines of the burns that would forever scar his skin. Several machines beeped and ticked away beside him. He looked so peaceful and I was suddenly very grateful for the induced coma, even if it meant that he couldn't communicate with his family. At least it spared him the agony that he surely would have gone through otherwise. And not just the physical agony, but the emotional as well, because I wasn't sure what he would say to Emmett's guilty expression - the one I wanted to caress and kiss away more and more with every passing second.

Tears welled in my eyes and my heart ached for my second family, all three of them. Again for the second time in my life, because of one, stupid accident, peoples' lives were changed in an instant. Before it was me who needed the unwavering support of the McCarty's. Now it was my turn to be the rock for them.

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A few hours later and I was ready to collapse. Being awake for thirty six hours straight was starting to get to me. I was thankful that Emmett drove home from the hospital, especially since I was asleep in the passenger seat before we even pulled out of the parking lot.

The next thing I remember was waking up in my own bed. My boots had been removed and placed on the floor beside me, and I was covered with a large afghan. I stretched and rolled over, trying to blink the sleep from my eyes. I glanced at the bright red numbers on the clock on my nightstand - two forty five a.m..

_What in the hell am I doing up at two forty five?_

My questions was quickly answered by the sound of the front screen door creaking open and boots walking across the front porch that echoed through my open window. I scrunched my eyebrows together and forced my brain to put the clues together.

_Okay, never mind me…what in the hell is Emmett doing up at two forty five?_

I sighed. I was still beyond tired, but I knew I'd never get back to sleep knowing that Emmett couldn't. So, I flung the covers off and attempted to shimmy out of bed. That's when I noticed that I was still in the my jeans from earlier in the day - by now they were wrinkled and loosely hanging from my body in all the wrong places. I'm sure my hair looked like a complete haystack. I was too tired to do anything about all that now. I flung my hair into a messy bun as I stood up and stumbled my wait around the house.

I managed to make it to the front door with only one stubbed toe, courtesy of that damn sharp corner in the upstairs hallway, and what would surely turn into a deep purple bruise on my thigh from the corner of the kitchen table.

I paused when my fingers reached the handle of the screen door. Through the tiny mesh squares I could just make out Emmett's silhouette in the moonlight. He was standing on the bottom step, a blanket in hand, his head thrown back to stare at the night sky. He was still for a few minutes, then started walking around the right side of the porch.

Once he was out of sight, I crept out of the screen door, paying careful attention to open it just so, allowing me to slip through undetected. I tiptoed across the porch and down the steps while keeping my eyes trained in the direction I last saw Emmett move. I tried to tread lightly across the dried earth. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to sneak around, it just felt like the something I should do, like maybe I was going to intrude on some private ritual Emmett had picked up while I was away from him.

Questions about this new habit rolled through my mind. _Since when did Emmett start coming out here at night? What is he doing out here? Would he even want me to know what he is doing? _

My own questions bothered me. Never before had the thought of Emmett doing something on his own concerned me. I realized why - he never did anything without me before. I always knew what he was doing and why, and vise versa. This obvious new custom of his was rankling.

Of course, while lost in my thoughts and my efforts to stay undetected, I was blind to where I was actually walking. That is until I heard a voice.

"Looking for something?"

I gasped and jumped nearly three feet in the air, clutching my chest. I peered down through the darkness to find Emmett laying on his back nearly under my feet on a blanket. He wasn't looking at me even while speaking; he was unwaveringly staring toward the heavens.

"Christ on a crutch, Em, you scared the shit out of me! What the hell are you doing out here?" I asked, still trying to keep my heart in my chest.

"I could ask you the same question," he droned.

I put my hand on my hip, cocked my head and raised an eyebrow in response. His eyes shifted to my stance briefly, then closed as he let out a gust of air in resignation.

"I'm looking at the stars," he finally responded, "and thinking."

**(Song suggestion: Counting Stars by Sugarcult)**

My expression and stance relaxed when he patted the spot on the blanket next to him. I bit my lower lip between my teeth for a moment, then moved to lay beside him. The blanket was small enough that our arms were touching as we laid there on our backs. Normally this wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary. Tonight, however, I could feel some kind of energy radiating from the point where our skin was making contact. It caused my flesh to raise into tiny goosebumps.

"I don't remember you coming out here like this," I tried to casually observe.

"I didn't until recently, when I came back home," he admitted. "I haven't been able to sleep very well. So I come out here to look at the stars, to think, let my brain decompress."

I let his words float around me in the night air. My hand involuntarily reached out, my fingers expertly entwining themselves in his. We stayed that way - silently watching the night sky - for a long time. It was comfortable and familiar, yet at the same time so completely different. Confusing.

I took a deep breath, willing myself to focus.

"Em, what are you thinking about?"

"You," he breathed without hesitation.

My eyes widened. I didn't expect that answer. I had expected to hear him talk about his Father, the new and overwhelming responsibilities that were going to be his now concerning the ranch, the tiny scratch on the bed of his beloved truck that I hoped he'd never find - definitely not me.

I began absently spinning the little copper ring on my pinkie with my thumb.

"What about me," I said in a small voice.

There were a few seconds of silence before the answer flew out of him, seemingly out of his control as he continued to stare straight up at the stars.

"I'm thinking about how happy I am that you're home now and how miserable I was when I wasn't with you. I'm thinking about how I should have never let you go with Jasper. I'm thinking about all the mistakes I've made, even though at the time I thought it was the best way, that I had no other choice. I'm wondering if I hurt you, thinking about how I should have told you…or shown you…"

"Told me what?"

Emmett let out a slight groan and turned his head away from me.

"Don't do that. Don't you dare hide something from me Emmett McCarty." My voice was low but firm. There were too many things going unsaid between us lately and I was determined to make that right.

He abruptly sat up, pulling his knees to his chest and letting go of my hand to wrap his arms protectively around his legs. His forehead dropped to rest upon his knees, and I could just make out the tiny lines near his eyes that showed just how hard he was clenching them shut. He was folding in on himself, a gesture I was all too familiar with from my darker days, and something that I never thought I'd witness my goofy, light-hearted, and just generally wonderful best friend ever doing.

I sat up, too, and folded my legs underneath me. Not knowing exactly what to do, but desperately wanting to provide him with some kind of comfort, I tentatively reached out and touched Emmett's shoulder with my fingertips, letting them trail a soft line down his brawny bicep to his forearm and back. I heard his breathing become more ragged the longer we sat there.

Then suddenly his head snapped up and he stared straight ahead, off into space. His gaze slowly diverted to me, and he searched back and forth between my eyes, like he was looking for some unknown explanation that was looming there.

After a few seconds, he must have found it because his own eyes grew darker, a deeper shade of blue than I'd ever witnessed. For the first time in a long time, the worried "V" that had been knitted in his brow disappeared.

"Bella," he muttered, his voice thick with longing. "I can't control what I'm about to do, and I'm not going to be sorry for it," he said as he started to lean toward me. He came within a few inches of my face, looking directly into my eyes as he spoke again. "I'll never be sorry for this," he whispered, just as his full lips came in contact with mine.

My brain stopped functioning. I couldn't hear, taste, touch, see or even smell anything but Emmett. His whole being surrounded me in that kiss and I felt as if I were completely safe yet engulfed in flames at the same time.

His lips moved softly against mine, taking my bottom lip between his. So painfully slowly, our mouths moved and countered each other. I felt the fingertips from his left hand make a slow trail from my hand, all the way up my arm, my neck, until his oversized palm was gently laid against my cheek. He was reverent in his movements, making me feel like I was in some kind of real life fairy tale

When his lips stilled and he pulled away, I was actually aching from the perfection of the moment that had been so long in the making. That kiss was the pivoting point that our relationship had been waiting for and I knew it the moment his lips brushed against mine.

He pulled back just enough to look at my face again while keeping his hand firmly planted on my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, allowing a slight sigh to escape my parted lips. His thumb moved slightly so that it was now stroking my bottom lip, causing my breathing to stay elevated.

"Emmett," I whispered and I fluttered my lids open to see him. His eyes were dancing back and forth between mine, searching for the answer he was so desperately seeking. "I'm not sorry for that either."

I could actually feel my pupils dilate and darken with my admission. Emmett leaned forward again, allowing his forehead to rest against mine as we both tried to control our wild heartbeats. I heard him swallow hard.

"Bella," he exhaled. "I'm not sorry, but the rational side of my brain is kicking in right now, telling me how incredibly delirious we both are from lack of sleep. I think you should let me take you back to bed."

I just nodded. He was right, we were both unbelievably exhausted and in desperate need of sleep. And even though I was afraid to leave the stars and the blanket where our walls had finally been broken down, I allowed Emmett to pick me up and carry me into the house anyway. '

We made it up to my room, and he gently set me down on top of the bed, just as he had probably done only a few hours ago. He kissed the top of my forehead, then started backing away.

I panicked. I couldn't just let him walk away now.

"Emmett," I nearly yelled in my desperation.

He halted immediately, looking at me with a twist of fear, as if he'd done something wrong.

I sat up and reached for him. "Em, please…stay with me?" I sounded pathetic and needy, and I definitely didn't care because I truly did need him with every fiber of my being.

He crossed the distance between us in two strides and grabbed me up into a huge embrace. "Anything for you, little girl," he whispered sweetly to me.

I scooted over and Emmett crawled under the covers beside me. He held out his arms and I gladly leaned into them, wanting nothing more than to be smothered by their strength. I nuzzled my head into the crook between his shoulder and his sculpted chest, bringing one hand up to rest over his heart. Once I was comfortably situated, all the looming questions and implications marched right out of me as complete contentment overwhelmed my overused senses, rendering me brainless. It took mere seconds for us to begin to drift into a rhythmic breathing pattern, which sent us both into a blissfully easy sleep.

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**A/N: Aw…how cute.**

**I promise that the next chapter will get back into more of the old goofy Emmett that we all fell in love with. Please let me know how I'm doing and review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey everyone! First, let me apologize for the delay in posting…I had to be away for work for a few weeks…trust me, the stresses of work were not conducive to great writing, so I opted to wait and take my time with the next chapter to be sure you 'get your money's worth' so to speak. **

**Just a quick note: I've posted a new story for the Bookward "Off The Page" Contest. The story is titled "Imaginary Love" and it's a combo of **_**Twilight**_** and **_**Sundays At Tiffany's **_**by James Patterson/Gabrielle Charbonnet. The contest voting has since closed, but check it out anyway if you're looking for something new to read.**

**Back to Notion… Alright, I'm asking you to bear with me here. I know that Bella's birthday in the book is September 13th****. However, for my own personal Notion timeline purposes, Bella's birthday is now November 13****th****… a Friday (which it will be in 2009). This is me flashing my official literary fiction license to bend the truth.**

**Chapter 16...**

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The next three weeks went by like a whirlwind. Emmett and I quickly assumed control of the McCarty ranch, just as we were probably born to do, even if it was earlier than intended. I was caught up in everything that was screaming for immediate attention - working the normal duties on the ranch, keeping my horses in shape, removing the pile of rubble and reconstructing the horse barn (okay, so strong, burly men did the heavy lifting, but they needed supervision, right?), overseeing the book work that Kate had fallen behind on since she spent so much of her time at the hospital, the hearing for the activist who caused the fire, and endless other tasks. Our neighbors were extremely helpful, offering their time and services, as well as providing an exuberant Emmett with an endless supply of covered dishes.

Garrett was healing quickly. The doctors were very expectant that he would be able to come home soon. Kate was anxious to be able to speak to her husband again, though I suspected that Emmett was somewhat nervous about what to say to his Father. He still felt responsible for his condition. It didn't matter how many times I tried to convince him that it was just a horrible accident, I think the only person that could make him see the truth in that statement would be Garrett when he would finally be able to wake.

Emmett and I didn't get a chance to discuss that night under the stars. We had risen the following morning to both of our phones buzzing next to us, signaling the beginning of the onslaught that just didn't seem to end. I did notice, however, that when he and I did have some time together that we oriented ourselves around each other more, held hands and exchanged gentle touches, and shared a few more chaste kisses than before, though his lips had yet to return to mine. He still held me every night all the same, but we were so exhausted from our day that we inevitably fell asleep before we could begin any kind of conversation.

I actually didn't mind the work. It was a welcome distraction from the rollercoaster my life had been. I was able to get lost in the vocation of it all, and I seemed to take on the role of mother hen that Kate passed down quite easily. I felt that I had somehow revived the spirit of my own Mother inside me, and I found myself thanking her silently for setting this life up for me on more than one occasion.

I did speak with Rosalie a few times over the last weeks. She filled me in on what she knew, what Jasper would tell her. At first I thought maybe I didn't want to know, but my bleeding heart told me that without a doubt, the Whitlock's were my friends for better or worse. No matter what had gone down between Jasper and I, I owed it to him and his family to remain in contact and remain their friend.

Originally, Rosalie was reluctant to share too much information about Jasper with me. I knew it was some kind of brother-sister thing, and I respected that. But soon she broke down, obviously needing someone to talk to about her brother's behavior. And who better to talk to than the source of all his madness.

I remember the last conversation I had with her a few days ago…

"_Hi Rose. How are you holding up?" I asked into the tiny cell phone receiver._

"_I'm holding. Work is crazy good and keeping me occupied, but Bella, I called because I need to talk to you…about Jasper."_

_I swallowed hard. "Sure. Is he, um, still drinking?" I could hear the guilt saturating my own voice._

_She sighed. "Not as much. He was so bad there for a while, I thought I was going to have to take his ass to Betty Ford. But Dad got a hold of him and straightened him out. Jasper was a possessive tool to you, Bella, but he's still my heartbroken brother, so I can understand that he needed to have a major drunk fest for a while."_

"_Rosalie, I'm really really sor-"_

_She cut me off. "Isabella Swan, if you tell me you're sorry one more time I'm going to stuff my fucking Stiletto heel down your throat."_

"_Oh, shit…I'm sor-…damn-it! I feel so damn bad because it's my fault that Jasper's suffering, which means it's also my fault that you have to deal with him. I just had to leave, you know? And as much as I would love to have you as my official sister, I don't think I could've accepted his proposal either," I admitted, a mixture of sadness and shame tainting my voice._

"_You don't have to explain all that to me. I know what Jasper can be like. He builds up this little perfect scenario in his head and then does everything he can to keep it that way. You should have seen him when he found out his grand illusion of Santa Claus was a hoax - at seven years old he locked himself in his room for days and refused to come out until Mom bribed him with every baked good known to man. He's overzealous to a fault, and I know that his reasons for wanting to propose weren't the right ones, even if they seemed that way in his tiny little mind. He'll be okay. In fact, he's packing up to hit a rodeo in Utah this weekend, so I know he'll be back to normal and realize his mistakes very soon."_

"_I hope so."_

"_I know so. Promise," she assured before we said our goodbyes._

I heard her words replaying in my head, but still felt incredibly guilt-ridden. I didn't regret leaving, but I did regret having to hurt Jasper, and having to put Rosalie and Alice in the middle.

Life can get fucked up in an instant. Seems like karma is determined for me not to forget that little lesson.

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I pulled the covers over my head. I was hoping that today would be like any other, but I had a strange sense of déjà vu around me. It would be just my luck to experience this day - the worst one of the year in my opinion - over and over again like some twisted version of _Groundhog Day._ I opened one eye and peeked out from under the blanket, secretly searching for Bill Murray.

Friday, November thirteenth. My birthday.

I knew that today was inevitable - the remembrance of the day of my birth and also the day of my parents' death - even though I hadn't dared to speak about it to anyone. I hoped they'd forgotten.

My hopes were shot to hell when the first notes of _50 Cent'_s "In Da Club" came drifting through the crack under my bedroom door. Seconds later Emmett came bursting in, his huge frame swaying back and forth, holding a hair brush to his lips like some kind of fake microphone.

"Go Shorty! It's your birthday! We 'gonna party like it's your birthday! We 'gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday! And you know we don't give a fuck 'cause it's your birthday!" Emmett belted out as he bounced to the music.

I groaned, but then couldn't hold back my laughter. It had been so long since I'd seen him as his happy and carefree self. If celebrating my dreaded birthday was going to make him smile, then the least I could do was play along.

The covers flew off my body, courtesy of Emmett. Before I could protest, he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder, caveman style. I squealed like a little girl, then broke into a fit of giggles when he smacked my cotton underwear-clad ass with his brush slash microphone. I had only worn my sporty cotton undies and one of his old t-shirts to bed because the it had been unbearably hot last night. Not that it mattered - when we were five both of us were nearly naked, in diapers and in a kiddy pool together. Granted, our anatomy had, um, changed a bit since then, but with Emmett I was never embarrassed of my body, and he clearly enjoyed showing off his muscular build since he was only donning some black cotton pajama bottoms, sans shirt. At least between the two of us we could make up one whole outfit.

I reached my arm down to land a firm smack on his tight ass in return, letting the sound reverberate through the upstairs hallway. His only response was to laugh and give my feet a little tickle, sending me squirming in his grasp even more.

Finally, he plopped me down right side up on a stool at the island in the kitchen, tossing the hair brush on the counter next to me. When I got my bearings, I spied a fresh pot of coffee and a stack of blueberry pancakes waiting for me.

"Happy Birthday, little girl," Emmett beamed as he waved his hand up and down like some kind of overgrown Vanna White on steriods. "I made you breakfast."

"I can see that," I said as I inhaled deeply. "It smells like heaven! Thanks, Em."

He smiled brighter than I had seen him do in over a month. It was infectious and I found myself grinning back, truly proud of the effort he was putting in to make this day a better one than history had proved it to be.

We both dove into breakfast with a wild abandon. I didn't remember us eating last night before we both crashed in my bed with exhaustion from the day's never ending work load.

"So…" Emmett began as he nudged me with his elbow. "You'll be happy to know that I've cleared our schedules for the rest of the day."

I stopped mid-chew to stare at him. "How did you-" I began with a perplexed expression.

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. Dad's doing much better, Mom will be at home most of the day setting up their house with all the new medical equipment and everything, and our neighbor, Marcus, is going to come over and supervise the workers. He says to tell you 'happy birthday' by the way." He gave a shrug of his shoulders as if it was a piece of cake to get everything covered for the entire day. "We can do whatever you want for the entire day. If you want to go out, then we'll go out, and you can pick what we do and where we go . If you want to stay inside, then I'll cook for you all day, run you a hot bath, give you a foot massage, and we'll watch chick flicks 'til we use up a whole box of tissues. And if you want to stay on the ranch but not in the house, we can take some horses for a ride, I can build you a fire and we can roast marshmallows and eat s'mores until we both throw up."

I eyed him suspiciously as I contemplated the utter deliciousness of graham crackers and chocolate. "Don't play with me, Em. Are you serious right now?"

"Yes, dear," he chuckled as he ruffled my already nasty mess of bed head hair. "It's part of your birthday present. Why, is there something else you'd rather do? Today is all about you, babe, and I will be at your service the entire day."

"Oh my God!" I screamed. Then reality caught up with me. "Wait, are you sure we can afford to do this right now? I don't want to put us behind in the work around here."

"It's fine, the work will still be there tomorrow. Besides," he said with a sexy smirk, "I want to be selfish and have you to myself for twenty four hours."

I felt the corner of my lips twitch upward, a smirk of my own matching Emmett's just moments before I launched myself across the kitchen island at him. Plates, silverware and maple syrup went soaring, and I didn't care. A chance to stay home, to not have to deal with seeming well-wishers, dressing me up in an uncomfortable dress and heels, making awkward conversation over some overly loud bar band, and instead spending all that time with the best person I knew on the face of the planet…it was a dream come true.

Unfortunately, Emmett didn't expect my sudden response. He hadn't braced himself. He should have known better.

Then again, the last few days had been tedious and tiring, not to mention the past few weeks. He was probably just consumed in planning, managing and stressing to realize that with the day's proposal revealed I would revert back to my quirky ways and tackle him right off of his little wooden stool and onto the floor.

There was a loud _thud_ when we hit, my fall broken by Emmett's large body though he protectively held me in place against him with his giant arms. I knew it was okay because he was laughing hysterically, causing me to bounce around on his chest.

I peppered his cheeks with kisses. "Thank you…_kiss…_thank you…_kiss…_thank you…_kiss…_"

"That's my Bells," he said low and laughing, almost to himself. "A little excited are we?"

I pulled away and beamed down at him while I sat on his stomach. "You have no idea! I want to stay in today! I don't want to leave this house for any reason!" I paused, casting my eyes off to the left, and then back to Emmett. "And I don't want you to leave for any reason either."

Impossibly, his smile widened and his dimples deepened. "I was hoping you might say that." His huge hands grabbed the backs of my thighs - dangerously close to my ass. He picked me up as he stood and gingerly set me back down on my feet. Then he pulled me into a hug, his arms moving from my thighs, ghosting over my ass and finally coming to rest around the small of my back. He was so big, he probably could've wrapped his arms all the way around me twice. "I've already taken the liberty of stocking up for the day," he explained as he buried his face in my messy hair. "We have three freshly rented chick flicks in the living room, chocolate marshmallow ice cream and your own personal double fudge brownie cake for your own private sugar high, plenty of options for lunch and dinner, and I even arranged a little surprise for you later this evening."

Backing away he could get the full effect, thought not far enough to be out of his strong reach, I knitted by brows together and put a hand on my hip. "Em, you know how I hate surprises."

"Don't worry, you're going to like this one. At least I hope you do. And you don't even have to leave the house," he proclaimed triumphantly.

I shook my head, but couldn't keep the smile from spreading across my face again. After spending an entire lifetime together, the man knew me. Not just trivial things, like what clothes I liked to wear or what cocktail I had in front of me at a bar, but things that were essential to I really was, like the fact that I had a hard time leaving the house on this particular day. Any of my other friends would have drug me out, taken me to dinner or to a club, telling me it was for my own good that they would get me silly drunk. But Emmett knew better.

Still holding me close, Emmett's deep blue eyes gazed down at me.

"So Bells, what do you want to do first?"

I let my eyes wander down and to the left again as I thought. But thinking was definitely becoming difficult as Emmett's thumbs began to rub back and forth over the thin fabric of the t-shirt that was covering my hip bones.

"I think," I paused as I tapped my finger against my lips, "I think I want to get cleaned up first."

Emmett nodded, his eyes drifting to the tangled mess on the top of my head, and pressed his lips together. I knew he wanted to make some sort of smart ass comment, but intelligently he held back out of birthday courtesy. "And then?" he asked.

"And then I want to watch some of those movies. Which ones did you bring home?"

"Uh…" he thought while his eyes rolled toward the ceiling. "_P.S. I Love you, Dirty Dancing _and_ French Kiss."_

"Oh, you're good," I said as I tapped his chest with my finger

"Yes, yes I am," he affirmed, slowly letting go of me and crossing his arms with a smug smile.

"You know we're going to gain, like, three hundred pounds by eating chocolate cake and ice cream today, right?"

"Yes, that's my master plan - to make you so big that you can't ever leave me or this house again unless someone cuts a hole in the roof to lift you out with a crane."

I smacked his shoulder. "That's a lovely picture, Emmett. Yes, I would love to be that person for you."

He shrugged and gave me a low dose of puppy dog eyes. "Hey, you can't blame me for wanting to keep you."

"Ugh. I don't have to be morbidly obese for you to keep me, you know." The words just bubbled right out of my mouth - obviously my brain filter wasn't in tact - but that didn't make the words any less true. Emmett just grinned from ear to ear.

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A pint of Ben 'n Jerry's Phish Food ice cream, two bags of extra butter popcorn, three movies, four Corona's and five and a half hours later…

"Em?"

"Hmm?"

I craned my neck to the side so I could focus on Emmett. His position was an exact mirror of mine. Upside down on the couch - knees bent over the headrest, heads hanging down near the ground. We'd been sitting like that, side by side, for the last twenty minutes in speculative silence, something that we hadn't done since we were kids. The blood was obviously rushing to our heads, responsible not only for tingeing our faces red, but also for the word vomit about to spew from my mouth.

Then again, maybe it was the Corona's fault.

"After all this time, why didn't you tell me?" my lips asked of their own accord. Only after they were already out there, floating between us, did I bite my bottom lip between my teeth to keep them from moving again.

I don't know why I chose that moment to let the filter between my brain and my mouth dissolve. The day had been going so well - the two of us laughing, holding each other, absolutely peaceful in this little bubble we had created. And there I was, potentially ruining everything. I didn't even know how I wanted him to answer that question. Did I want him to tell me that he was wrong about that first real kiss, that he didn't feel anything other than a near brotherly love for me? Did I expect a mushy confession complete with some gooey sonnet from Shakespeare?

No, definitely could do without the Shakespeare.

Emmett turned his head to meet my gaze. We stared at each other, still upside down, for what seemed like a small eternity - though it was probably only a minute or two - our eyes dancing back and forth, searching the other's in earnest.

I didn't have to elaborate; he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I was…" he sighed, but his eyes never left mine. "I _am_ afraid that you don't feel the same way, that I'll scare you away altogether with how much I do feel for you," he admitted. "And Bella," he said softly as he reached for my hand, our fingers gently entwining. "I can't live without you in my life, no matter what role you choose to play in it."

I allowed myself to finally blink, then released my lip from my teeth before I gnawed a hole through it. I didn't know what to say, but I knew what I could _do_.

I half sat up and half rolled toward Emmett, placing my body tight up against his and brought us face to face, still hanging off the couch. Our clasped hands stayed tight as I brought them up to rest between us on his chest. I ran my free hand through his dark hair, watching his eyelids falter and a breathy moan escape him as he leaned into my touch.

Then I felt his contoured abs tighten underneath me, and his arm wrap around my body at the small of my back.

Suddenly we were kissing. I don't know who started it, but it was deep and passionate, full of crashing lips, heavy breathing…and just…_need_. We _needed_ this, each other.

So many emotions coursed through me at once, and I had never, ever felt that particular combination of them before. Contentment, exhilaration, lust, relief…love. It was love, in all the right forms and all the right ways and it was perfection surrounding me like a warm embrace. The perfection you can only have when the one person who knows you best in the entire world wants you in every way possible. I felt whole. Complete.

I felt Emmett's legs flex and his arm tighten around me as we slid in one fluid motion from the couch to the floor. He pulled me on top of him, never breaking our kiss for more than a few gasps of air.

We kissed and touched and held each other until our heads began to spin and we finally had to pull away, nearly panting. His eyes wavered and then focused, searching mine so deeply it felt as if he were inside them. Then his lids closed and a sigh escaped his lips as he tucked me into his side with my head resting on his chest. With my ear pressed to him, I could hear his heart beating wildly and I knew it was matching pace with my own. We stayed there, laying on the floor in wrapped around each other without saying a word. Oh, there were plenty of words that came to my mind, just none of them forming any sort of coherent sentence.

Emmett's phone started to ring on the coffee table next to us, breaking the silence. He let out a little groan, but then carefully extricated himself from our tangle of limbs and sat up to answer it.

"Hello…hey man…yeah, yeah…no, we're still a green light…eight o'clock then…right…hey thanks again for doing this, I owe you," he laughed, then glanced back at me and smiled mischievously. I was desperately wishing I could hear the other end of that conversation. "Yeah, she is….okay, see you then…later."

"Who was that?"

He just smiled and tossed his phone back on the coffee table. "No one you need to worry about right now," he said as he began to stand up. He offered me a hand and I reluctantly took it - staying right there on the floor in Emmett's arms was more than okay with me, but apparently he had other plans.

"Come on, Bells. The surprise will be ready in about an hour. I need you to go upstairs and put on the clothes I have laid out for you on your dresser."

"But-" I started to protest.

"Nope, no buts. Just put them on and get a cleaned up a little. I'm going to make us some dinner, then it'll be time for your surprise. And we can't be late."

I raised my eyebrow inquisitively, and Emmett shot the same look right back, challenging me. He hadn't led me astray so far tonight, so I simply shrugged and turned toward the stairs. I didn't make it two steps before his paw grabbed my arm and spun me around. The force of the spin caused me to collide into him hard, and fortunately his lips were standing at the ready to absorb the blow. He kissed me with such force, and I was relieved that his strong arms were there to hold me upright. At first it was just our lips crashing together, moving frantically. Then, nearly in unison, our tongues swept out and lavished each other, stroking and prodding in the most decadent way.

The urgency simmered down, and Emmett placed one last chaste kiss on my lips, then my cheek before pulling away. He brushed the backs of his knuckles across my cheek bone let out a deep breath.

"Now you can go upstairs to change."

All I could do was nod and bite my lip as I slowly backed away. Backing probably wasn't a good idea because I inevitably tripped on my own two feet, but recovered quickly and turned toward the stairs. I could hear Emmett stifling a snort behind me.

I rolled my eyes and continued up the stairs to my room, grabbed the pile of clothes from my dresser, then headed for the bathroom. I just washed up a bit in the sink since I had showered earlier and gave myself a light spray of my favorite perfume. My hair was, well, unruly at best. I managed to pull it up into a loose bun on the top of my head, a few stray pieces automatically falling to frame my face.

I turned to the pile of clothes then and actually looked at them for the first time, realizing that Emmett had picked out my favorite pair of jeans - the ones that were old, worn and with genuine holes in the knees that were earned from actual work - and a soft gray cotton long sleeved shirt with our high school emblem screen printed on the front. The shirt was actually his, though I claimed it from him our senior year and wore it to every one of his football games for good luck.

Feeling fresh and still comfortable, I pushed up the long sleeves on the oversized shirt and bounded down the steps. I felt so light and airy. Happy. Definitely not an emotion I was used to feeling on my birthday - the one day more than any other, the anniversary, when I felt remorse and responsibility for the death of my parents. I always visited their grave the day after, choosing to spend the day of trying to hide out and drown in my tears until my girl friends burst into the room to drag me out and "cheer me up". They meant well, so I put up with it, secretly dieing inside the entire time. But today was different. Emmett had been giving the gift of reinventing this day as one that I could be happy with, all the while allowing me to still sort of hide out and not leave the house.

I paused on the third step from the bottom when I heard a knock on the front door. I could make out the sound of Emmett's feet plodding over and opening it, a short, muffled conversation, then the click of the door closing again. I tentatively slinked down the remaining stairs and padded barefoot into the kitchen, just as Emmett was setting down an armful of boxes on the counter.

"Who was at the door, Em?" I asked meekly.

"The delivery guy. Brought some packages for you," he said as he raced up the stairs, presumably to change.

I scrunched my face in confusion and made my way over to the stack of boxes. I hadn't been expecting anything, so I tiled each one toward me, reading the return addresses. The first one - a rather large package - was from Rosalie. I sighed with a small smile, then moved on. The second was a little smaller and from New York City, both Edward and Alice's names appearing at the top. My grin widened. I set that one down and moved to the final box. I was longer and flatter that the other two, and I didn't recognize the return address, from somewhere in Utah. Then I glanced up at the name that went with it - J. Whitlock.

_Fuck._

My smile quickly drained, as did the color from my face. Emmett must've already made it back down to the first floor - changed into jeans and a t-shirt like me - and had been watching my reactions, because he calmly walked over and took the last package from my shaking hands.

"We'll leave that one for tomorrow, okay Bells?" he asked quietly.

I nodded.

He took the box and set it on top of the refrigerator before coming back to me.

"Hey," he said as he grabbed my face with his hands. "Look at me." I blinked a few times, then forced myself to focus on his unwavering baby blue eyes. "Don't think about that, about him. Today isn't about him."

I bit my lip and nodded again, not trusting myself to let any words escape my mouth.

"Come on. All of these can be opened tomorrow. Forget about them until then. Besides, I have dinner just about ready."

He grabbed my hand and towed me toward the oven. Donning two pink oven mitts - which also happened to be covered in little white bunnies - Emmett grabbed the bubbling pan of lasagna and set it down on a rack to cool.

"Em, there's no way you made this while I was upstairs getting changed," I skeptically hedged.

He laughed. "Alright, you caught me. My Mom says happy birthday, by the way. She knew this was one of your favorite meals, so she made it up yesterday and I had it in the fridge. All I had to do was heat it up. But hey, don't I get credit for knowing how to turn on the oven and not burning it?"

Then it was my turn to laugh a little, the tension from moments earlier easily dissipating in my best friend's buoyant presence. "Sure, Em. You get credit. Thank you, it smells delicious."

My mood shifted back a more jovial one as we ate our dinner and Emmett kept the witty banter and conversation going. He made it a point to talk about nothing in particular, always keeping it light and joking.

He kept peeking at his watch, and at around seven forty-five he ushered me into the living room next to the computer.

"Now sit in that chair right there and let me work, woman," he said playfully, to witch I promptly saluted and plopped down in the rolling desk chair. He worked hastily, attaching extra speakers from the stereo system and a brand new web cam to the computer. I was thoroughly confused, but didn't ask. Ten minutes later, with all tech pistons firing, I was gazing at a blank computer screen.

"Uh, Em? If your present was watching some kind of porn, then first, let me just say that it obviously isn't working right. And second, I think I'll pass anyway."

"Bella, just relax. Your show will be on momentarily."

Just as the words leave his mouth, the screen began to flicker. All at once I was greeted with an up close and personal view of a spiky head of black hair bouncing around the screen.

"Alice!"

"Bella! Happy Birthday!"

"Oh my God! This is awesome! I'm so glad I get to talk to you today, and see you at the same time!"

She laughed and shook her head. "Silly Bella. I know that seeing me should be the cat's meow as far as birthday presents go, but that is decidedly not the only present you'll be getting from me. Or Edward for that matter."

"Edward?! He's there too?"

Just then a bronze head of disarrayed hair playfully shoved the punk pixie aside.

"Hi, love! Happy birthday!"

"Holy shit! This is awesome!"

"Yes, yes I am," Edward replied with his trademark smirk. "But actually most of the credit goes to Emmett. When we told him what we wanted to give you for your birthday, he suggested this little web cam set up so we could do it live."

I spun around to a grinning Emmett, my eyes wide with disbelief. He just kept smiling, and pointed back at the screen for me to turn around. When I looked back at the monitor again, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I recognized Edward's apartment, but just barely. It had been transformed into a sort of stage, with drums, guitars, microphones - and the people who played them - all gathered around his grand piano. Edward was seated at the piano bench with a microphone, and Alice was standing in front of the band with one of her own.

"When Alice and I told Emmett that we wanted to play for you for your birthday present, we thought he'd help us get a CD that we recorded to you. That's what's in the box that arrived today, by the way. But then he came up with this idea and we liked it so much better," Edward explained.

"Alice, I didn't know you were in a band," I gushed.

Her laughter trilled through the speakers. "Yeah, I've been singing with the guys here for the last year or so. I introduced them to Edward about a month ago, and he's been doing gigs with us ever since. We wanted to tell you so badly, but we also didn't want to ruin this surprise for you. You have no idea how hard it was to keep this a secret!"

I turned to Emmett. "You've been planning this for the last month?"

He sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "Well, yeah. I wanted today to be special for you. I didn't know if you'd be back home with me for sure, but I figured with the internet, you could get your gift no matter where you were."

My eyes started to water at his altruistic gesture. But before I could get out of my seat to hug Emmett, Edward called my attention back to the screen.

"Okay, love, are you ready?"

"Yes! I can't wait another second."

"Okay. This first one is my present to you…I wrote it with you in mind," Edward replied almost nervously. I wasn't nervous - I was bouncing in my seat, excited and taken back at the same time that he had composed something just for me.

**(Song Suggestion: 3AM, Piano Acoustic Version, by Matchbox 20)**

The sultry notes floated through the air in only the way that Edward could play them. The melody was beautiful as his fingers expertly caressed the keys of his prized piano. His head was tilted down, his bronze hair falling gently into his eyes as he began to play, a look of pure abandon covering his face.

Then he lifted his chin and, placing his lips close to the microphone, and began to sing. Soulful, rough and velvety all at once, the words seamlessly drifted from his throat and into the air, enveloping everyone in their path. His eyes remained closed, the corners crinkled in both concentration and emotion. He was putting his whole being into this performance, for me, and my heart swelled at the sentiment that he was pouring into the song. My song.

It _was_ my song, describing the two of us in the most poetic fashion, from the way I would talk to him during the wee hours of the morning when I was lonely, they way I confessed my fears and the way that he comforted me with his words.

As song drifted to a close, I couldn't help the huge smile that was plastered on my face. I sprang up from my seat, clapping wildly. Edward must've been able to see or hear my reaction because he blushed - _Edward actually blushed! -_ and donned a sheepish grin.

"Edward, that was amazing! I loved it so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He just chuckled. "You're welcome, love." Then he cleared his throat. "Uh, we have another song for you. This one is actually a present from all of us - Alice and I both, but also Emmett, too."

I spun around in my chair to look at Emmett. He just smiled and motioned back to the monitor again.

Alice spoke up then. "Emmett enlisted our help in preparing this song for you - well, obviously, since the big brute needed our musical genius. Anyway, he gave us the specs, told us what he wanted to say in the song, and we all worked together to come up with the finished product. So just sit back and enjoy, Bella!" she trilled as she bounced to her position as lead singer.

The whole band shimmied into position. Even Edward became poised on the piano bench.

I couldn't take my eyes off the screen in front of me.

**(Song Suggestion: We Are Broken by Paramore)**

The piano began to come to life again, and immediately Alice's gorgeous voice flowed into the microphone. The band was lithe in their movements, quietly throwing their every effort into this song for someone most of them had never met.

I was mesmerized by the song, zoning out and staring at the screen. The words were hitting me like a sledgehammer to the chest. These were Emmett's words, and I knew it.

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers_

_Tower over me_

_We are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And all the promise that we adore_

_Give us life again_

_Cause we just want to be home…_

_Home. _Emmett was my home. I knew it even more as I heard the words in the song. The song was perfect. He was perfect. He was everything I had ever wanted, everything I had ever needed, and right here with me all this time.

I felt his large, warm hand slip into mine and pulled me up into his waiting arms. He nudged the chair with his knee and it rolled away to the far end of the room. I just stared up at him, my mouth hanging open with no word or sound escaping.

I was speechless.

I was breathless.

And _Emmett_ made me feel that way.

His eyes bored into mine, the depths of the emotion there was unfathomable. His arms encircled me and we started to sway to the music. We danced, slow and sweet and oh-so-close, but we never broke eye contact. It was as if he was willing me to understand the span of his emotion with this look, and it was working.

My brain suddenly jolted to something - he had been planning this, long before I even returned home to him. This song and these words…he was going to convey them to me even if I wasn't here, even if I was off somewhere with another man. Tears were pricking the corners of my eyes the more I thought about it.

Seeing my tears forming, his arms tightened around me…his _arms like towers_. I did feel safe within them, safe and loved here with him.

_Loved? Yes. Love. I love Emmett McCarty. I'm in love with Emmett McCarty. This is what real love feels like. This is what it means to be in love with your soul mate._

Emmett's next words felt as if they were plucked directly from my mind. "You were right here in front of me all along," he whispered. Then he pulled me in closer, tucking my head into his chest. I felt him bow his head down to whisper in my ear. "It's you, Isabella. It's always been you. I love you."

A sob escaped my body as my tears flowed freely, soaking the front of his shirt. There were tears of joy, for I had never been happier than I was at that exact moment. One of his arms tightened even more around my waist as his other hand came up to cradle my head to his chest, pulling me into him as close as I could possibly get. Yet it didn't feel close enough…I couldn't get close enough…

As the song was coming to a close, I couldn't contain it any longer.

"I love you," I mumbled into his shirt.

Suddenly our motion stopped and he pulled me away from his body. I immediately missed the warmth and comfort I had found there. It was impossible not to look up at his face, and I'm sure my expression was one of shock.

"What did you say to me, Bella?" he rasped, his own watery eyes locked onto mine.

I sniffled, but I didn't let my voice waver. I was sure about what I was going to say next.

"I love you, Emmett McCarty."

I watched his eyes widen and his breathing stop. And then in an instant his lips were crashing onto mine, our bodies smashed together tightly as the kiss consumed us. It was fire and passion and just…love - pure unadulterated love coursing between us. I didn't have to tell myself that I could be content with this, that I could learn to live with this type of kiss day in and day out…no, on the contrary. I wouldn't be content without it, I couldn't live without that kiss, that love. I knew with every fiber of my being that I could not survive without him.

It was just the two of us in that moment…that is until I heard whooping, hollering and whistling coming from the computer speakers. Emmett broke the kiss, both of us grinning and chuckling like fools in front of our audience.

"That was hot!" Alice bellowed in her tiny little voice.

"Nice one, Bella! Way to get some tongue action in there," Edward cat-called.

I think my face turned purple instead of red. I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot about the web cam pointed directly at us. Apparently so did Emmett, because his cheeks were flushed as well, though not nearly as deep as mine. But he didn't falter, instead just pulled me into a comforting hug so I could hide my face until it returned to it's more normal pale shade.

When I finally felt the heat subsiding from my face, I turned back toward the computer screen. "Guys, that was amazing! Thank you so much! You sounded incredible!"

"Well we're glad you enjoyed it, Bella," Edward smirked knowingly. "So, right then. We'll let you two go so you can finish celebrating," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

The only word I had to say was a drawled out, "Alice…" and immediately Edward was assaulted with a tiny backhand from my fairy-like friend. "Thank you."

"No sweat, Bella. Someone's got to keep his ego in check."

"And I have no doubt, Alice, that you're the one for the job."

She smiled widely as Edward rubbed his arm, feigning pain from his pixie-slap. I giggled and thanked them all profusely again before Emmett made a few clicks with the mouse to end the web connection.

And then, before I could even process what was going on, I was back in Emmett's huge embrace. We hugged it out like old times, except it wasn't like old times. There was that new…something…that spark that I had been missing. He must have felt it, too, because he pulled me even closer. We stood there, swaying ever so slightly, entwined in one another. I felt him kiss the top of my head and stoke my hair, cradling me like I was fragile or precious, but also crushing me against his body as if he couldn't get enough of me.

My arms were around his waist and clutching at his shirt. When he tightened his grasp, I let my fingernails drag across his back to grip him in a new spot, just below his shoulder blades…and he let out a low pitched groan.

It was the sexiest sound I've ever heard.

I've had the unfortunate pleasure of listening to Emmett tap the ass of all too willing girls from across the hall since he was in high school. Hell, there was even a time when we double dated at the drive-in theater where both of us got a little action, me and my date in the back seat and him and his date in the front. So without a doubt I knew all about the sounds that Emmett McCarty emitted when he was aroused. But _that_ sound…I'd never, _ever_ heard _that_ sensuous sound from his lips before.

That same instant, his weight shifted and I was flush against him. I could feel him, hard and straining right through his jeans and into my stomach, since he literally towered over my petite frame.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest, and my accelerated breathing began to match his. I swallowed hard, trying to will myself to calm down, but when he lowered his lips to place a slow, languid kiss on my neck just below my ear, I suddenly lost the ability.

"Ugh, Emmett," I half sighed and half moaned, driving my nails even further into his back.

"You keep talking and digging your nails into me like that and I won't be able to help myself, little girl. I've waited far to long already," he drawled, slow and smooth and laced with sex.

He let his mouth linger on my neck, kissing and sucking his way up my jaw line and finally landing on my lips, sending tingles right down my body to all the best places. He didn't wait for permission this time as his tongue darted out to meet mine, licking and massaging and competing for dominance with my own. He tasted delicious, better than any sweet or pastry, and I was becoming lost as I tried to drink everything about him in - everything that I had so absently overlooked before.

What was I thinking before? How had this not crossed my mind? Emmett was so much better at this than anyone else had ever been. I knew it was the combination of the two of us together, and that everything else that lay before and between us would be just as significant.

"Em…" I muttered when we finally came up for air. "I don't want to wait any longer. I need you. I've always needed you…"

A low growl came from deep inside his chest. Then in one swift movement, he bent to cup my ass in his enormous paws and lifted me off the ground. My legs automatically wrapped around his waist just as his arms wrapped around mine. I threaded my hands through his hair, our mouths continuing to ravage each other as he effortlessly turned and carried me up the stairs.

Along the way I managed to pull off his shirt as well as mine, leaving me to press my naked flesh against his warm body. The only cloth separating us was my bra and some worn denim.

When we reached his bedroom, he kicked the door open with such force that it nearly shook the whole house. Then, in contrast, he moved to the bed and laid me down tenderly, hovering over me but resting his weight on his hands that were spread on either side of my head. The man above me was so strong, and was physically able to break me in two were he so inclined, but he was the most gentle soul I had ever encountered and I had never once felt any fear when he was nearby.

He propped himself up, still on one hand and then one elbow, being careful not to crush me with his massive frame. He let his hand caress my cheek and his baby blues looked straight through me.

"Bella…I've wanted this for so long. Are you sure?"

My eyes never wavered from his. "I'm absolutely sure about you. I love you, Emmett. I'm in love with you. I should have realized it sooner. But now that I have, I don't want to waste any more time. I want you. I want this, right now," I trailed off as I reached down to undo his belt buckle. He groaned in response, and let me work my way through the button and zipper of his jeans.

I quickly reached my hand down into the denim, under the elastic of his boxers and gripped his full length, which was massive and throbbing in my palm.

"Oh, fuck, Bella. God, that feels so good…so good…" I just hummed in response and leaned up to return the favor of lavishing his neck with kisses.

Things were becoming heated and frantic, and I just needed to feel him right that second. I knew could feel that consuming intensity, too, because his hands were roaming relentlessly all over my body.

Another groan escaped him, but this time it was in frustration as his hand snatched my wrist, halting my movement in his pants. I pulled back and looked at him with wide eyes, my body tense.

_Oh God, is he rejecting me already? Now that we're finally here together, doesn't he feel anything for me? Oh shit, oh shit…_

He must've read the panic in my expression, because he quickly recovered and found his voice.

"Bella, as much as I am loving this fast and intense situation we're in right now, I think it'd be best if we slow things down a bit."

My face went from panic to disappointment in a millisecond, then bounced back and forth between the two as I stumbled to get the words out of my mouth.

"Y-you don't…don't want me?"

"Shit," Emmett gasped under his breath as he shook his head. "No…I mean, yes…damn-it! Bella, yes, I want you, in every way possible and definitely more than once. I just don't want this to be a quick fuck and then send you on your merry way. I want to make love to you - slow and soft and sweet. I want it to last all night, and when we physically can't take anymore, I want to watch you sleep in my arms. You mean everything to me, Bella - _everything_ - and I want this to be perfect."

My panic changed to shock at his admission, then finally to understanding.

"I love you, Em." It was the only phrase that came to mind to make him comprehend.

"I love you, little girl," he whispered. "Close your eyes."

I complied, and he began running the calloused fingertips of one hand from my cheeks, across my lips, my neck, the middle of my chest - where he flicked open the front clasp of my bra - and all the way down to circle my belly button. Then he started ascending back up the way he came, this time taking a detour toward my left shoulder, sliding the strap of my bra down my arm with only the lightest of touches. He traced his way over to my right shoulder and repeated the process. I kept my eyes closed, relishing in the goose bumps his fingers were leaving all over my skin.

I was so lost in the sensations on my skin that I barely registered him undoing the button and zipper of my jeans. I arched my hips off the bed and he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of the denim and the cotton panties underneath, peeling them both from my body at the same time. I felt some shifting at the edge of the bed, but didn't lift my eyelids.

Laying there, naked and exposed for my best friend sent nervous and anxious chills up and down my body. I wanted this - oh, God, did I want this.

"Open your eyes, Bella"

My lids fluttered open and my pupils focused on the man kneeling in front of me. The naked man in front of me. The extremely well hung, hard, naked best friend in front of me. He was glorious with all of the deep cut muscles exposed and on display for me. And on his face, a grin was starting to slowly spread.

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him. Now.

With deliberate movements, I sat up right in front of him, mirroring his position. Except I couldn't hold still, and I crawled right into his lap. My hands snaked their way around his neck and I drew his face closer to mine, stopping just before our lips could touch. Then I let my tongue dart out and taste his parted lips, running it smoothly over the bottom one before pulling it back in and relishing the taste - like sweet tea with lemon. So familiar and inviting.

When my tongue made it's way toward his lips again, this time it was met with his tongue playfully licking and battling with mine until we couldn't stand it any longer and our lips finally met. I kept my hands in his hair and on his face while his moved to my hips. He raised me up and positioned his hardened length at my entrance.

When I felt his tip enter, we both stopped moving, but continued panting with need. Staring directly into his eyes the entire time, I began to lower myself onto him. We both let out breathy moans as I sank farther and farther, until he was completely engulfed by my warmth. Then I stayed still, relishing in the feeling of Emmett inside me. So perfect, so right. I had no second thoughts. I wanted this with all of my heart, to show him just how much he meant to me.

His hands came to my hips, rocking me back and forth then guiding me up and down. I leaned forward into him, breathing heavily in his ear while he lavished my neck with kisses. The change in angle allowed him to slide deeper within me, and I could feel myself start to tremble.

"Ugh, Bella, you feel so amazing. I never thought…I never thought it could be like this…"

"So good, Em, s-so good…"

Our pace quickened and I new it was only a matter of moments before we were both sent over the edge. I was drunk with lust, and getting more intoxicated as he slipped a hand between us to rub circles on my most sensitive spot. I wanted to tell him how good it felt, how close I was, but I could only manage gasps of air as my release consumed me. Seconds later I felt Emmett tense beneath me as he reached his own peak, and the delicious flood of warmth entered me.

There we were, both sitting upright, both holding onto each other for dear life, me straddling my best friend - not what I had originally planned for my birthday, but it was a fucking fantastic surprise.

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**A/N: Would it be too much to ask to review even though it took me so long to update? What the hell, I'm selfish…please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through my 'lack of update' episode!**

**I just posted my entry in the "For The Love Of Jasper" Contest, called "Always Charmed". Please read, review and (if you're so inclined) vote!**

**Previously…**

_There we were, both sitting upright, both holding onto each other for dear life, me straddling my best friend - not what I had originally planned for my birthday, but it was a fucking fantastic surprise._

**Chapter 17...**

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After we came down from our high, Emmett and I simply laid in bed, tangled in each other and pressed as close together as we could possibly be. My head rested on his chest, arms and legs pulling one another together. I don't know how long we were like that, but I do know that neither of us could sleep or even speak for a long time. We were way too absorbed in the after glow.

Finally, I just had to break the silence.

"If I would have known I could get a birthday present like that, I'd have stripped you naked several birthdays ago."

Emmett let out a hearty laugh and my head bounced up and down on his chest with the force of it. "Yeah, no kidding! I mean, this isn't awkward or weird or anything. Nothing like all the horror stories you hear about sexin' up your best friend," he chuckled.

I snorted. "Really. I don't know why more people don't just bite the bullet and screw like bunnies more often."

"Don't temp me, Swan."

"Don't make empty promises, McCarty."

I looked up at him as he looked back down, both of us with mischievous grins plastered to our faces.

"Oh, they're not empty. I fully intend to follow through," he winked.

"Mmm, how I do admire your follow through."

He laughed again and I was completely happy in this little moment.

"You know," he continued, "I did get you one more present, but it'll have to wait until tomorrow because there's no way I'm leaving you or this bed tonight." His tone then became hushed, as if he were afraid to speak his next words out loud. "And I'm afraid if I leave that I'll come back and realize this was all a dream. And you won't be here."

I peered up at him through my eyelashes. "Em," I whispered as I stretched upward to kiss him on the cheek. "First of all, I don't care if I ever get another gift again. There's nothing that's going to top this one. And it's me who's having a hard time believing this is real. I'm not leaving you, Emmett. Ever."

I was the one to start the next kiss, but he was the one to deepen it, causing us to plunge head first into round two…

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I woke early the next morning to soft kisses peppering the back of my neck. Emmett had brushed my hair aside and proceeded to give me goosebumps all over my body from his ministrations. I couldn't help but smile and giggle like a little girl on Christmas morning.

"Morning, my beautiful girl."

"Mmm, good morning Em."

"Yes, it's always good when I wake up with you in my arms. And this time it's even better because you're naked."

"Having inappropriate thoughts about me Mr. McCarty?" I teased.

"Hell yes I am! I've been suppressing those naughty thoughts for entirely too long. You're just going to have to deal with my horny ass every morning…and afternoon…and evening…" he trailed off as he peppered my body with kisses.

I laughed seductively. "I think I like the sound of that."

I felt him press his naked body up against mine, immediately noticing his arousal strained between us. He groaned when I pretended to stretch, pushing my ass back into his lap.

"Ugh…Jesus, Bella. You can't just do that to me and expect me to have any kind of self control."

I turned to lustfully stare into his eyes. "Who said anything about control?"

"Damn-it," he growled as he kissed and lightly bit my neck. Abruptly, he sat up to look at me. "Hold that thought.

Emmett reached out to the drawer of his nightstand, sliding it open and retrieving a little wooden box, shaped similar to a tiny ring box, but it had E. M. burned onto the top in elegant script. He held it out to me in the palm of his hand.

"Happy birthday, Bella. Go ahead, open it."

I gave him a sideways glance, silently chastising him for giving me a gift when he knew how much I hated to be doted on, but sat up and reached for the box nonetheless. I carefully lifted the hinged lid, allowing a small creak to escape as it opened.

"Emmett," I gasped, and then stopped, simply because no words would come out. Inside the wooden box lay a pair of the most beautifully delicate earrings I had ever seen. It was a stud type of earring - a blue stone set in an intricate circular weaved pattern of silver. They were elegant and understated, gorgeous but not over the top.

"Those were my Grandmother Elaine's," he explained. "They're blue topaz. My Grandfather gave them to her, and I think she wore them nearly every day. She told me that he actually found the topaz stone that they came from right here in Texas, and had a local jeweler turn it into this. I know that topaz is the birthstone for November, and blue topaz is the Texas state gemstone, so I thought they'd be fitting. Do you like them?"

"I love them," I whispered. "But, how did you get these?"

"Do you remember the day she died, when she called me over to her? You and I were about eighteen and we were there to say goodbye that day."

I nodded silently, remembering the day all too well. It had only been a year or so after my parents had died that I had gone with Emmett to see his ailing Grandmother. She had been the family cornerstone and the most caring woman I had ever met, always treating me as part of the family. It was another karmic devastation Emmett and I had endured early on.

I could see Emmett's eyes drift away, now focused on something behind me, as if he were almost seeing the memory right before his eyes.

"You were across the room," he recalled, "sitting in her rocking chair waiting for me. She slipped the box into my hand as I hugged her, and she whispered to me that I should give these to someone special. Then she actually looked over at you and nodded her chin in your direction. She could see it - us - even then."

"She was a smart woman," I replied.

This time Emmett was the one who simply nodded as he pulled me in for a trademark bear hug. The tightness of his arms felt so safe, so loving, that I never wanted him to let go.

"I love you, little girl, so much," he sighed.

"I love you, too, Em. I'm so unbelievably happy right now."

We both reluctantly pulled away as the first rays of the sunrise began to peak through the window panes. Emmett palmed my cheek with his hand, lightly brushing his thumb back and forth as we gazing into each other's blissful yet watery eyes. We both leaned into each other, passing light touches and soft, sultry kisses between the two of us. The moment was simple and perfect, as it should be.

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We were finally able to tear ourselves away from one another and prepare for the morning's chores. I hated to leave the warmth of his bed, but there was a lot of work waiting for both of us that just couldn't be ignored. I tried to compile mental lists of everything that needed done as I started downstairs, but my thoughts kept circling back to the man in the shower upstairs.

_So much to do and so little time. And so many ways I want to say "fuck it" and go jump Emmett's bones in the hot, steamy shower instead. Mmm…all that hot water trickling down those huge biceps…STOP IT, BELLA! Focus!_

When I hit the bottom step, I did find focus. Only it was on the three boxes still piled on the kitchen counter.

I forced myself to blink, then to breathe, then to move forward toward the offending objects, stopping directly in front of them. I exhaled loudly, shook my head back and forth vigorously as I internally groaned.

_Aw, shit. Just do it like a band-aid, Bella - quick and painless._

I wasn't entirely convinced about the painless part as I reached in a drawer for a butter knife. Carefully, I cut open the strips of tape that closed each box, then tossed the knife in the sink.

_No need to keep a sharp object in your hand for any of this, even if it is just a butter knife._

Okay, so I was never the kind of girl that could pull the band-aid off in one rip; it always took me two tries. Therefore, I opened the smaller, predictable box that came from New York.

Inside wasn't a surprise - it was the CD that Edward and Alice had promised, full of his piano compilations and her band's original songs. There was also a birthday card with "hugs and kisses" greetings and their names. I giggled at their silly X's and O's scrawled all over the CD's case and the card.

The next box in line I knew was Jasper's. I had no idea what could lay inside - love poems, diamonds, a voodoo doll full of pins…

I flipped open the box's flaps and pulled out a long, flat object surrounded in bubble wrap. At first, the bubble wrap made me giddy - my simple mind and I loved that stupid stuff - but I quickly sobered and tore at the protective wrapping.

Inside was beautifully detailed mahogany wood picture frame with a photo of the four of us - Emmett, Rose, Jasper and I - arms all wrapped around each other in front of the National Rodeo Hall of Fame, taken about three years ago. We were lined up from left to right: Emmett was pointing at something in the distance with an expression just like a little kid in a candy store, Rosalie was mid eye-roll but had a hint of a smirk on her face. I had my head thrown back in laughter at their antics, and Jasper was looking down at me with his eyes alight and an adoring smile across his lips.

That simple photo caught the essence of us, and it made my heart leap and my breath hitch. I stared at it in my hands, tears in my eyes, as I wondered if we would ever be like that again.

My hand shifted and I felt something on the back of the frame. I flipped it over and found a letter taped to the back, with "Bella" written in an elegant script on the front. I hesitated, but only for a moment before my fingers twitched beyond my control and reached inside the envelope.

It was a letter from Jasper.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_I won't lie to you and tell you I'm okay when I'm not, but I am doing better. _

_I understand why you left that day. I know that I rushed and pushed and behaved selfishly when it came to you, to us. My delusion was that I could provide you with all these material things and maybe that would be enough for you to stay. I just wanted us so badly, too badly, and it came at the expense of what would make you truly happy._

_That's all I ever really wanted when it all boils down - your happiness. _

_I am truly sorry for the way everything played out that day. I've replayed it in my mind over and over, trying to find where I went wrong, what I could have done to stop you. I realize now that was the problem. I wanted to stop an unstoppable force - you - and to do that would have been stopping the very thing that made me fall in love with you. So I can't bring myself to try and stop you anymore, to try and keep you corralled just for me. I can only hope with all my heart that you'll want me in your life in some way in the future. _

_Please forgive me._

_~ Jasper ~_

Silent tears fell from my eyes and slid down my cheeks. I had no idea what I had ever done to deserve such a good man in Emmett, in Edward, and in Jasper all at once, but I was suddenly afraid that karma would come back to bite me in the ass and reclaim all the reverence they had bestowed upon me. Nothing justified this - I wasn't worthy of this kind of love and attention. There was no way this was all meant for me. No matter what I went through in life before, this was just too much to comprehend.

"Bells?"

I sniffled and turned around. Emmett, smelling all gloriously fresh from his shower, slowly walked toward me. I silently held out the picture frame and the letter. He took both, carefully examining both before setting them on the counter and pulling me into a tight hug. His comforting warmth was just what I needed to validate myself, and I instantly felt better with him near.

"You okay?"

I nodded and rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands as we pulled away from each other. "Yeah, Em. I'm good."

"Okay." He looked like he wanted to say more, but kept silent. I reached up to stroke his cheek softly with my hand, mutely letting him know how much I appreciated him, and how much I loved him.

"So, what did Rosalie send you?" he asked, I'm sure in an attempt to change the focus to something less difficult.

"Um, I don't know. I didn't get that far," I realized.

So I turned around to the last remaining box and dug in. When my hands reemerged from the mess of tissue paper inside the box, they were clutching two tickets. I furrowed my brow and looked up to Emmett. He simply shrugged, so I brought the flimsy cardboard up to my face to examine them closer.

"What are they for?" he asked.

"It says they're some kind of reservations for a nightclub called Moon inside the Palms…"

"In Las Vegas?"

"Vegas…LAS VEGAS! Oh my God! Emmett! She's telling us we're going to Las Vegas!"

His eyes formed into saucers and a huge grin sprung up to match the one on my face. "Vegas? You mean we did it?!"

"We did it! We made it to the NFR!" I shouted.

Then we both screamed like twelve year olds at a New Kids concert.

We jumped up and down, holding onto each other and laughing hysterically. I was so insanely happy. Although, with the rollercoaster of emotions I'd been going through lately, the past few days made me feel like a bipolar circus clown - complete with frizzy hair, hugely retarded smile and a tear drop etched to my eye. Utter craziness.

Once we managed to settle down, I grabbed for my phone and dialed. It was picked up after one ring.

"OhmyGodRosethankyousomuch!" I half yelled and half slurred.

She just giggled. "You're welcome, Bella. Happy birthday!"

"How in the hell did you find out that we qualified?"

"Now what good would I be to my friends if I didn't abuse the power of my job to find out these little tidbits of information from time to time? You both made it - you in the barrels and Emmett in the steer wrestling. So I figured I'd take the liberty to make some reservations at the hottest club on the strip so we could get our party on and celebrate," she explained.

"Rose, I think I might be in love with you right now. Emmett's shaking his head at that, but you know I can't resist your feminine whiles when you do miraculous shit like this," I quipped.

"Don't I know it. Tell Emmett he can watch as a consolation prize."

I pulled the phone away from my face to look at Emmett with a seductive smile. "Rose says you can watch the two of us if you want."

I thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his head, though I wasn't sure if it was in protest or lust.

He cleared his throat, pulled at the collar of his shirt and then pointed a finger at me. "You, little girl, will not be let out of my sight when we get to Las Vegas. I won't have you switching teams on me because of Rose."

I burst out laughing. Rose must have heard him, too, because she was cackling just as hard.

"Alright, my secret lover, I've got to run. If I'm going to be in Nevada in a few weeks I have a lot of planning to do. Keep yourself in line until I see you, you hear?" I teased.

"Sure, Bella. You know me."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Shut it, Swan. I'll see you in Vegas."

"Vegas, baby! Bye!"

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The next few days were spent with the phone glued to my ear. Between making plans for the ranch work in our absence, collaborating with Rosalie on our hotel arrangements, and setting things in order for the road trip, I barely had time to think.

Emmett was a peach, always helping me out when he could. During the days we were always running in separate directions, but the nights were reserved exclusively for us, and we made the most of them. Sometimes we would simply hold each other and talk about our day. Other times there was no talking, only animalistic grunting and general rooting around as we fulfilled our primal needs.

Garrett was awakened from his medically induced coma about a week after my birthday. Emmett and I were both at the hospital, along with Kate.

I watched as Kate simply clung to her husband after the first words he uttered were, "Katie, honey, I love you." She cried. I cried. I think Emmett did, too, although his full out tears didn't show up until after he and his father got a chance to speak privately. I didn't want to intrude on their moment of healing, so I didn't go in with him for that conversation. However I was there when he came out of the room, the look of guilt no longer lingering in his watery eyes as I held him in the hospital hallway.

Emmett's father was on track to be home and settled before we left for the NFR. Everyone was ecstatic at his progress, though Garrett was disappointed that he couldn't be there in person to see his only son compete.

During that time I'd also finalized our plans to make a pit stop in Colorado for Jacob Black's wedding. It had been so long since both Emmet and I had seen him. We definitely wanted to be there to witness the day the cowboy slash Indian finally settled down, and also to meet the little lady that prompted him to do so.

So much upheaval and so much healing had gone on in just a short time in our lives. I hoped that this excursion would mark a new and even better chapter for us. No matter what the outcome may be once we actually started competing in Vegas, the road trip that brought us there would no doubt be a memorable one.

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**A/N: Once again, please read and review! **

**Don't forget about the new one-shot I've recently posted, "Always Charmed."**

**Next up for the McCarty/Swan duo is Jacob's wedding…sure to elicit some deep love and sexy times! ****J**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Yes, I am a complete failure. I am fail. It is me. I define it. And I'm sorry. L**

***sheds tear of remorse***

**I could regale you with "boo-hoo" tales of real life, but I won't. We'll just get right to the fact that I've created lemony goodness for you below in hopes that you don't hate me too much.**

**Also, if you've read my one-shot "Always Charmed", just want to let you know that the first few chapters of it's expansion story are being beta'd and will be posted very soon. Put me on author alert so you don't miss out!**

**Ok, enough talk….hope you enjoy…**

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**Chapter 18**

**(Song suggestion: Black Heart Inertia by Incubus)**

A whirlwind - that's what ran rampant through the McCarty ranch in the last few weeks. The Thanksgiving holiday flew by quietly, as we all had something to truly be thankful for this year. Garrett was home and doing much better, and with Kate relentlessly doting on him I volunteered my culinary services to prepare our meal. Emmett 'mmm'ed" and "ah'ed" appropriately, praising my turkey stuffing skills as he attempted to stuff himself silly. I simply gave the credit to Kate for showing me my way around the kitchen at an early age.

Emmett and I left the following day. I don't know exactly how we managed to pull everything off in time, but it all laid behind us as we drove north - the truck and trailer loaded down with horses, tack and suitcases - toward our first stop in Colorado.

We settled into the familiar pattern of our previous road trips, with a side of the new feelings we'd both recently declared. While Emmett drove, I was either neatly tucked into his side under his protective arm, or, if I actually sat still in my own passenger seat, we clasped our hands together, resting them on the center console. Our back and forth banter over crazy drivers and control of the iPod kept us entertained as per usual.

The scenery of the drive was beautiful. I could honestly understand why Jacob decided to settle here. There was always something just a little wild about him, and I could picture him being more at home in these woods and mountains instead of the desert he grew up in.

Pulling into Black Ranch, I began bouncing in my seat. I looked over to find Emmett sporting a happy grin very similar to mine as we made out way down the gravel and dirt driveway.

"There he is," I practically vibrated as I pointed to the russet brown figure, bundled in a faded Carhart jacket and worn leather gloves, riding through the vast fields toward us.

Emmett barely had the truck stopped before I was jumping out the door and running toward Jacob, not caring about the chill in the air. He pulled his horse up and slid lithely off its back just in time to catch me up in his huge, warm embrace.

"My little Bells. How are you honey?" his voice was deep but jovial as he held me tight.

"Oh, Jacob, I'm really good," I murmured into his chest. He set me down gently and held me by my shoulders at arm's length as if appraising me.

"Gees, Bells, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you, you were this fiery little teenager ready to tear up the world with your fast horse. This older and respectable look you've got going on now suits you," he jested as he flashed me a toothy grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Jake, you know me better than that. Since when have I ever been respectable?"

"Never. You're always indecent."

"Damn skippy."

Just then, Jacob looked over my shoulder. "Hey Emmett! Man, you look good, too! What the heck have they been feeding you down in Texas?"

Emmett laughed. "Blame it on that little spitfire right there; it's her good cooking that keeps me large and in charge."

"Whatever, Em. Even if I weren't there I'm sure your mother wouldn't let you starve," I retorted.

Both men chuckled as Jacob ushered us out of the cold and toward his home.

Jacob welcomed us with open arms, as did his entire staff and new family, the Clearwater's. The ranch that he now called his home was magnificent. Hundreds of rolling acres that were just gorgeous and covered in a fresh dusting of snow. The house itself was huge. Jacob explained that part of the house that was originally built in the early nineteen hundreds had been carefully restored when the newer, more modern additions such as the huge wooden wrap-around porch and sunroom addition were added at Leah's request.

And Leah herself was a site to behold - quite the mixture of the gorgeous Native American that her heritage had bestowed upon her as well as a modern day beauty that was tough enough to handle a rope and a steer. She was gracious and kind to both Emmett and I, having only met us for the first time upon our arrival. I could instantly see how well she complimented Jacob.

We arrived around seven in the morning they day of their wedding to find Leah just dismounting from a morning ride.

_A woman after my own heart, still riding fence a few hours before her own wedding day._

She showed us where to put up our horses in the barn, gave us a quick tour, and then scurried off to her mother who was waiting to primp her for the rest of the day.

Emmett and I worked in mostly a comfortable silence as we settled our horses in, pausing every so often to deal out a soft touch here or a quick kiss there.

Time flew by, and before I knew it, I was putting the finishing touches on my hair and makeup in the guest bathroom of Jacob's house. Emmett was just outside the door, already dressed in his crisply starched Wranglers, polished black Justin boots, white button down shirt and tweed jacket. He was western delicious.

I opted to go slightly dressier, though still embracing the whole western theme of the affair. I wore an ankle length black skirt, black square-toed stingray boots, and a white button down shirt - left un-tucked and unbuttoned just enough to show some cleavage. I let my hair down, soft ringlets framing my face.

I walked out of the bathroom and quickly went for my suitcase to find the jewelry I had packed. When I stood up, I felt a warm presence right behind me.

"Bella," Emmett breathed, "you look…"

I turned around as I fastened my earrings and stared up at him, raising my eyebrows in question.

"Wow. You look amazing," he finally finished.

I let a slow smile spread across my face. "Thank you. You're pretty handsome yourself. I'm going to have to beat the ladies off of you with a stick tonight."

He shook his head and raised his hand to stroke my cheek. I leaned into his touch.

"You're wrong. No one will be looking at me tonight. They'll all be staring at the eye candy I've got on my arm."

"Em," I nearly whined as I playfully slapped his shoulder. He just smirked and I couldn't help the grin that made its way onto my face as well.

* * *

Dancing with Emmett should be illegal in at least 37 states, including this one, because the man was making me weak in the knees.

The ceremony for Jacob and Leah was short and sweet, allowing us to cut right to the chase and start the party at the reception. Which is were I now find myself, wrapped in humungous arms, swaying dangerously close to the man in front of me. The man who had all the right body parts pressed up against me. The man who was whispering in my ear, sending chills up and down my spine. The man who was suggesting we take this party to a more private location.

"Bella, I can't take it anymore. I need you out of that dress…now. And so help me God if we don't get out of here soon, you'll be buck naked in front of a shit load of Indians," he growled low in my ear.

I didn't know whether to giggle or swoon. Thank goodness he was strong and holding me against him, otherwise I would have melting into a puddle of arousal right there on the floor.

I pulled back just enough for me to see his face.

He winked.

I smiled.

He smirked.

And then we were off, Emmett pulling me by the hand in a hasty retreat into the next room of Jacob's house and toward the stairs. I paused to remove my heels; apparently I was taking too long. Before I knew what was happening, Emmett's arm had taken me out at the knees and he cradled me bridle style, taking the steps two at a time. I took that as a convenient moment to pepper his jaw and neck with licks and kisses, causing his steps to falter just slightly.

Finally making it inside our room, Emmett gently set me on my feet, then closed and locked the door. He quickly grabbed me, spinning me around so that I was now pinned against said door as he assaulted my neck with his lips. Both of us were breathing heavily, hands wildly grasping for each other's clothes.

"Not fast enough," he whispered as I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. So I abandoned them, instead going straight for his pants. I unbuckled his belt and top button, then slid his zipper down and was rewarded with Emmett's groan when I palmed his length through his boxer briefs.

Meanwhile, Emmett's hands had successfully pushed the straps of my dress down my shoulders and pulled the material down underneath my breasts. He reached behind me and with one flick of his fingers unclasped my strapless bra, then grabbed it and threw it over his shoulder. I didn't see where it landed…not that I cared.

I hooked my thumbs into his pants and briefs, pushing them both down in one smooth motion to let them pool around his ankles. His erection sprang free and he groaned in relief when I grasped him, skin to skin. Emmett's hands never stopped moving, and he slid them up the back of my thighs, bunching the material of my dress around my middle as he went. When he reached my hips, he paused and pulled back to look at my face.

"Why, Miss Swan, no panties?"

I flashed him a seductive grin. "Easy access."

He didn't need any more of an invitation. His strong hands gripped the backs of my thighs and lifted as he pushed me into the door. My hand, which was still pumping his hardened length, guided him to my center, and in one quick thrust, we were joined.

I moaned as he grunted, loving the feeling of Emmett inside me. He fit there like no one else, and I reveled in the sensation. My hands flew to his hair and my head lulled back, hitting the door with a thud. I knew I was digging my heels into his ass, but he certainly wasn't complaining. We were so worked up, it wasn't going to last long for either of us.

"Touch yourself, Bella. I was to hear you moan my name."

I did as he instructed, my right hand trailing down between our bodies to rub my most sensitive spot. It only took a few quick flicks and I was moaning just as he intended. My release triggered his, and I felt him still as he exploded inside me.

Still panting, Emmett carried me to the bed and we both fell into it, utterly spent.

"Holy hell, Em that was hot."

"Yeah," he rasped, his breathing struggling to return to normal. "You make it that way."

"No I think it's you and all those ripped muscles of yours," I said as I looked over at him. We were both flat on our backs, side by side on the bed, but with this statement, Emmett turned on his side and propped up his head with his hand. I could see him start to flex his muscles - first his arms, then I saw his washboard abs twitch where his shirt had ridden up.

"You like that, don't you little girl," he said with a cheesy grin.

I smacked his chest and snorted. "You're ridiculous."

"Yeah, but you love me."

"Yeah, but I love you."

His arm reached over to slide around my waist and he pulled me flush against him. Looking down into my eyes, piercing me with the deep blue color, he whispered, "I love you, too, Bells. More than you'll ever know."

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**A/N: I may not deserve it for my failing updates, but I'll beg anyway…please review!**

**Next chapter, we'll be in Las Vegas!!! Nearing the finish line… ;)**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thanks to those readers, both new and old, who have read and reviewed! And a special thanks to the Altered Lions and Sacrificial Lambs blog for recommending this little fic during their month long fest of Emmett love! They're awesome, and everyone should definitely check out their blog. **

**My new story, Always With You, has been posted and is a few chapters in, so run on over and check it out!**

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**Chapter 19...**

The lights of the strip were mesmerizing making me nearly dizzy with their blinking and beckoning. So many colors and shapes of manmade versions of the seven wonders pierced the desert sky. It was beautiful in a Christmas lights in July, money hungry, tacky, half-naked stripper kind of way. It also signified the culmination of a year's worth of hard work and sacrifices.

We had arrived…Las Vegas…home of the worst Elvis impersonators, the best casinos, legal prostitution, and the National Finals Rodeo.

Emmett cranked up the radio, blasting Kanye West's song _Flashing Lights. _It was surreal as he put the windows down, the dry desert air swirling around us. I was literally dancing in my seat, moving my arms shoulders in rhythm with the music and the blinking lights that seemed to be in harmony. Emmett had his arm slung out of the window, head bobbing, and a huge smile plastered to his face as his eyes danced back and forth between watching me and the road. The electricity was palpable in the night air.

He fluently pulled the truck and trailer through traffic and into the Thomas and Mack Center. Neither of us spoke much as security guards ushered us around while we unloaded horses and tack - I'm sure that neither of us knew what to say to break the tension and the seriousness of the situation we found ourselves in. Emmett was twitching nervously, and so was I as we led the horses through the Center and to their stalls.

When the animals were finally settled, we both just stood there and stared straight ahead at the stall fronts. I was the one to finally break the silence.

"Em, we're _here_," I whispered.

"I know. We did it." Emmett quietly slipped his sweaty palm into my own.

"We did it," I repeated, needing to say the words aloud to make them seem more true.

I looked over at Emmett to find him returning the same wide-eyed grin.

All at once, the two of us erupted, utterly unable to control the excitement bubbling out of us.

We hugged. We laughed. We jumped up and down and squealed like little girls.

"Oh my God! We fucking did it! We're in Vegas, baby," I yelled.

Emmett was chanting, "Vegas! Vegas! Vegas!"

Suddenly we heard a loud snickering coming from further down the aisle. "You know you two look like you belong in one of the freak shows they have going down on the strip, right?" Rosalie drawled, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised.

"Rose!" I screamed and ran toward her, nearly knocking her over in all my dim-witted gusto. "Rose! We're in Las Vegas!"

"Yes honey, I saw all the shiny lights on the way in, too. I'm surprised you and He-Man over there weren't too distracted to actually make the drive here what with all the big city radiance," she said, her sarcasm thick.

I smacked her arm. "Hey, don't ruin our happy dance moment. You get paid just to show up here and look pretty all the time. We're new at this."

"True," she smirked, and then thrust a manila envelope into my chest. "Here's your shit - your itinerary, hotel keys, club tickets, map of the Center…you name it, and it's in there. It's your whole life for the next two weeks. You're welcome."

"Wow, organized much?" Emmett muttered.

"I have to be to keep you two hicks in line. It's practically a full time job," she quipped. "I should get some kind of hazard pay."

I stepped in to save the situation and give Rosalie the validation she was clearly searching for. "Rose, thanks. Really. You spoil us and I'm so grateful the two of us won't be wandering aimlessly and picked up like strays by pimps."

"We wouldn't wander. We'd find a very tasteful gentleman's club and help to pay tuition for some hard-working ladies," Emmett suggested.

I raised one eyebrow and gave him my best "don't go there, big boy" stare.

"Or not. You know, whatever…" he backpedaled.

Rose snorted. "Damn girl, you used exactly two muscles in your face, no words, and made a six foot four inch two hundred pound man back up and sweat like a whore in church. I'm so proud…" she trailed off, sniffling and making a bogus sad face.

"I learned from the best," I said with a nod and a wink in her direction.

"Okay, there's way too much estrogen floating around right now. Bella, we need to go back to the hotel so I can reassert my manhood."

A laugh bubbled from my lips and I swatted Emmett's chest playfully. He eyed me as if I was a piece of candy - or meat, whatever - and licked his lips before flashing me his dimpled grin.

_God, that grin! Waiter? Check please!_

"Enough you two," Rose broke into our moment, "get the hell out of here before you combust and I get covered in something nasty."

Emmett took the opportunity and literally started running with it, and me, toward the exit. I was sure he had something less than innocent on his mind.

Rose was quick to try to squash that mood right down. "No funny business you two! You have one hour to meet me in the lobby and then we're going out, damn-it," she called to us.

"An hour? Guess we'll have to hurry then, little girl," Emmett whispered, his voice dipping lower.

"Huh. So what are we going to do with the other fifty six minutes?"

Emmett immediately stopped and spun around to face me, his lips pursed. I giggled, but not for long. Before I could blink, he grabbed me and flung me over his shoulder caveman style. I laughed harder causing him to chuckle and slap my ass as he carried me out the door.

* * *

One hour and some not so innocently shared shower time later, Emmett and I were riding the elevator down to the lobby. Despite our shower activity, he still had me pinned against the wall, ravaging my lips and neck. Thank god we were alone in there.

Not that I was complaining about the extra attention, especially given how hot he looked right then. He was wearing a tight gray v-neck t-shirt, sleeves rolled twice. It was enough to show off his impressive build. His dark wash Twenty X Wrangler jeans were leaving nothing to the imagination, particularly when he was pressed hard up against me.

His black felt hat was tilted up on his forehead so he could kiss me without interference. My hands were running up and down his strong back and I was getting lost in the heated moment.

Even Emmett's freshly polished black cayman boots looked sexy to me. Then again, everything about him set my body on fire.

By the way Emmett's eyes had appraised me in the suite when I walked out from changing, my outfit must have met his approval as well. I was wearing my dark Petrol jeans with black stingray boots. My white button down shirt came complete with a black angel's wings design printed on the back, which was spattered with black crystals. I fucking sparkled.

I opted to let my hair down in soft waves since I knew Emmett liked to run his fingers through it. Both of us were also donning our latest win buckles, which happened to be clinking together loudly as he pushed me against the wall.

Entirely too soon, the elevator chimed and came to a halt and the two of us reluctantly pulled away. The doors opened to reveal a cross-armed Rosalie tapping her toe to some unknown, irritated beat.

"You're late."

"It's Emmett's fault," I shrugged. Emmett held his hands up in surrender and gave a look that said, "hey, what can I say?"

"I don't doubt that," she replied. "Let's move out people! Jasper's waiting in the car."

She turned and promptly marched towards the doors. I, however, suddenly found my feet firmly planted on the ground.

Emmett tugged me forward and leaned to whisper in my ear as we walked. "No worries, Bella. You can do this. It's the same Jasper we all grew up with, and we'll all do better to think of him that way."

My jaw was still unhinged as I furrowed my brown and looked up at Emmett.

_Since when did he become so proficient with giving good advice?_

By the time my brain caught up with my body, I was being shoved head first into a waiting limo. I heard the locks click before I realized I'd been tossed onto a warm body. Scrambling upright, I found myself face to face with none other than Jasper Whitlock.

"Um, hi Bella."

"Jazz, what's going on?"

I was thoroughly confused and needed some answers. Turning toward the tinted window all I could see was a stern Rosalie. She scowled, knocked on the window, pointed at me and yelled through the glass, "Get over it, Swan! You're not coming out of there until the two of you make amends and get a grip. So talk!"

I swiveled my head around to look at Jasper, who was twiddling his thumbs and looking down at his lap.

"I'm sorry, Rose thought the best way for me to talk to you would be to lock us in a room together. Guess a car is the next best thing," he said quietly.

I sighed. "Jasper, listen…"

"No, let me get this out. This is my fault. I'm so sorry, Bella. You have to know that I didn't mean to get that angry that day. I know I rushed, and I forced things, emotions, that just weren't there…for either of us. I understand that now. You and I just seemed to make sense in my head, you know? But I didn't stop to consider how overwhelming I could be. I just…fuck…I just don't want to lose our friendship over my stupidity because it's worth a lot to me, even though I didn't treat it that way." He paused, finally looking up at me but bracing himself for a rejection.

"I don't want to lose our friendship either, Jazz," I said quietly while looking into his ice blue eyes.

He exhaled as if he'd been holding it in for a very long time. "I'm so glad to hear you say that, sweetheart. And when I saw you in the lobby with Emmett, I knew right away that I got in the way of something more, something great before. One look at you two and anybody can see it. I'm truly happy for you, Bella."

I smiled and opened my arms. "What do you say, wanna hug it out with me?"

Jasper choked out a laugh with me and we did hug, as friends should. Instantly there was a weight lifted off me I didn't know I had been carrying around. Things were smoothing out and going the way they had always been intended before I got the grand idea to go "find myself". Who knew I had been right where I needed to be all along?

* * *

"You two are so on my shit list right now," I said as I pointed my glare at Rosalie and Emmett. He at least had the brains to look sheepish. Rosalie, however, was not fazed.

"It was for your own good," she insisted. "And now that the bullshit is out of the way, we can all have a good time tonight and focus on our jobs tomorrow."

_Damn-it. _I hated it when she was right.

Pulling up to the club, I felt some of my anger at Rosalie and Emmett fade away. Drinking and dancing tended to put me in a good mood, and the loud chords flowing through the doors promised a kickin' good time.

"You okay, B?" Emmett asked, pulling on my hand as we neared the entrance.

"Yeah. It was unexpected, that's all. Next time, please try to rein in Rose, okay?" Jazz and I could have done that on our own."

"I know. I'm just glad we're all good."

"Me, too."

When we turned, the doors to the club were opened, velvet ropes cast aside, and the perks of partying with the Whitlock's came at us full force.

The club had been transformed for the NFR guests, I'm sure. A bonafied honky tonk was laid out before us, steel guitars punching out toe-tapping tunes. I felt at home instantly.

We all sauntered up to the bar, greeting the people we knew from the rodeo circuit. Jasper ordered us a round of buttery nipple shots, which were so good that I giggled and took to licking everybody's glasses clean. I noticed Emmett adjusting himself and trying to hide a groan.

Jasper and Rosalie seemed to know everyone in the damn bar and were busy schmoozing. The dance floor was packed with couples, all spinning and stomping as they two stepped like pros.

"Want to go for a spin, little girl," Emmett drawled, leaning in so close that I could feel his warm breath on my neck. It sent shivers up and down my body.

I turned and winked at him. "If you think you can keep up with me, big boy."

"Oh, I think I can keep up. Let's show these rhinestone cowboys how we do it bigger in Texas." He said over his shoulder as he pulled me to the dance floor.

"Em, I'm fairly sure that we'll be escorted out of here if you show them just how much bigger Texas is - this bar isn't quite _that _kind of establishment." With that comment, he yanked me as close to his body as he could, so close that I could feel just how big Texas was as it pressed into me.

"Hmm. Well it's their loss. Guess we'll just have to settle for dancing then." And with that, I was moving and twirling with the crowd.

My clumsy nature somehow disappeared any time I danced with Emmett. I was sure that is was simply because he was so strong that he physically just didn't let me fall. We had gone dancing like this countless times back home, always earning cheers from the crowd for our moves. Tonight was no different.

My feet shuffled with the driving rhythm along the wooden floorboards as we let Big & Rich's _Jalapeño_ whisk us away into our own little world. I was spun around, picked up, thrown and pulled into different moves, all the while laughing and having the time of my life. We had to have literally cleared the dance floor because I couldn't see anyone else around us, though Emmett had me moving so fast that I don't think I could've focused on anyone else had I been trying.

When the song ended, I was dipped low and kissed hard. The bar crowd was cheering, but they were a low buzz in the background as I lost myself in Emmett's kiss. Finally coming back up for air, we were both beaming and snickering, our faces red from exertion as well as the attention we were receiving.

A slow song filtered through the speakers next, and the mass of people once again surrounded us. We had just started to move again when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"May I cut in?"

I was nearly ready to yell at whoever dared to interrupt my moment with my boyfriend and was going to suggest that he take in the size of said boyfriend before trying to dance with his woman, but when I turned around I was face to face with the last person I expected to see.

"Oh my god! You're here! How are you here?!" I screamed as I launched myself into his open arms.

"I promised you that I'd be here if you made it to the big time, didn't I? And you doubted me!"

I pulled out of the embrace and smacked his chest. "Won't do that again, that's for sure. You're unbelievable!"

Emmett reached his paw around me to shake hands. "Edward, man, how you been?"

Edward's eyes moved to the floor to watch his feet shuffle. "I've been good. Actually, really good. And it's all because of a little pixie," he said as he turned around and extended his hand.

Suddenly, Alice appeared and placed her hand in his with an ear-splitting grin.

My mouth dropped open and I looked back and forth between the two. I must've looked like I was watching a tennis match or something, and I found it hard to form a coherent sentence.

"You…two…but…"

"Surprise," Alice offered, then threw herself into a hug with me.

"Holy shit, guys! This is great! I'm so happy for you two, and so happy that you're here," I laughed.

Edward cleared his throat. "So, how bout that dance, love?" I nodded emphatically as Alice finally loosened her grip on me.

"Come on big guy, help me find Rose and Jasper," Alice demanded as she began towing Emmett away. It was hilarious to watch her little body pull his huge frame through the crowd.

My focus turned back to Edward. "Do you even know how to two step?"

"Bella, Bella. When are you going to learn that I am a man of many talents and am not to be underestimated?" With that, we began to move, perfectly in sync with Keith Urban's _Everybody._

"I can't believe you're here," I reiterated, shaking my head.

"A promise is a promise. I wouldn't miss this for the world. Plus Ali and I really wanted to get away from the New York cold for a while."

"So, you and Alice, huh?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. She's fantastic, Bella. She's like a ray of sunshine every day, all day. She makes me truly happy," he admitted.

"Then that makes me happy for you. You deserve that, Edward."

"And are you happy?"

The grin that slid across my face should have been conformation enough, but I answered verbally anyway. "Yes. You have no idea how much."

He nodded. "Okay. You know I had to check, right? Distance isn't a factor when it comes to friendship, and I needed to make sure my friend was content with her decisions."

"I am. I spent all that time thinking I needed to search for happiness when it was right there in front of me the whole time. I feel stupid that I didn't recognize it before, but thrilled that I did before it was too late."

"Good. You deserve happiness, too, Bella."

"I have it now. Everything is as it should be - I'm surrounded by friends and family and, as icing on the cake, my dreams of competing here are coming true. I'm the luckiest person in the world right now."

The song came to an end, and so did our dance with one final hug. "Thanks for everything, Edward."

"It's been my privilege, love. But now I think I need to give you back to someone before I really do get my ass kicked. And he looks like he could do some serious damage."

I could feel Emmett hovering behind me and I smiled. His hand snaked to mine and I turned around just in time for the next song. We began to two-step again, this time slower and more reserved, not to mention closer; I don't think there was any air at all between our now heated bodies. I hummed contentedly at the sensation.

"You look so gorgeous out here; your whole body is just lit up."

I blushed. "I'm just so happy that things have worked out like this. I'm so in love with you, Emmett McCarty."

"And I'm completely in love with you Isabella Swan. I will be, forever."

I was entirely lost within Emmett's deep blue eyes as we moved. I didn't think about the people around us, the responsibilities waiting for us back home, or the huge competition that lay before us. My mind was wound around the amazing man that was holding me in his arms at that moment. I was loved, truly loved, and there was no other feeling in the world that could compare. Everything else in the world could wait just a little longer...

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**AN: Reviews = Love…please share some!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: What's this? A Notion update? No, you're not seeing things…I am alive and well and updating again! Yay! I'm still working on my other fics as well, so keep an eye out for updates on those, too. Hope I still have some readers left out there, and if so, show me some love and let me know what you think of this chapter. *Hugs n Kisses***

**Chapter 20**

I fidgeted. My body was blatantly rejecting the idea of trying to keep still. I sat there in the metal fold-down seat of the Thomas and Mack Center, knee bouncing, hands wringing, jaw clenched. My nerves were officially shot as I tried to pay attention to the opening ceremonies of the National Finals Rodeo.

Emmett gripped my knee with his hand to halt its incessant motion. "Bella, you need to calm the fuck down. You're going to have a good run. You're ready. Copper's ready. Just enjoy the ride tonight."

"Ha. That's easy for you to say. You didn't get the first draw in your events. I'm going to be the first barrel racer to set foot in that arena tonight. I'll be the one to set the pace. And I'll probably be the first one to make an ass of myself and fall off at the first barrel."

He rubbed his hand up and down my leg, the friction warming my skin under my wranglers. "Stop, you're going to psyche yourself out."

Jasper leaned forward from the seat behind me. "Bells, you need to think of this as just another rodeo. Shut out the crowd, don't watch the other competitors. You just go out there, ride your horse like you do every day, and remember that you do this because its fun and you love the thrill."

I took a deep breath and nodded, still staring out into the crowd with its flashing cameras and sea of faces. I repeated my new mantra quietly to myself, "it's just another rodeo…it's just another rodeo…."

"Think she's gonna hurl?" Emmett looked back to ask Jasper. "If she hurls it's going to be nasty – she had the breakfast burrito this morning. Potentially colorful, but still nasty."

"Nah, she's got an iron stomach. I think she's more likely to pass out from hyperventilating. She looks more white than green. Green people vomit. White people faint."

"I can here you, you know. And so can everyone else within a fifty foot radius," I growled just slightly louder than my ongoing mantra.

"Actually I wasn't too sure about that what with you spewing that same sentence over and over. You're seriously freaking out right now aren't you?" Emmett chuckled.

I shot him a glare.

_He needs to check that chuckling before I smack that grin right off his dimpled face. Stupid, calm, shiny buckle winners. Both of them. Ugh!_

Thirty minutes and many deep breathing exercises later, I found myself behind the chutes, assuming my position to watch Emmett's first go of steer wrestling. I kept the ear buds to my iPod firmly nestled in my ears, blasting Pitbull's song_ I Know You Want Me –_ Emmett had insisted that it should be his theme song, and instructed me to play it as I watched him. I rolled my eyes at the time, but there was truth to that damn song and he knew it…he was too damn hot for his own good when he competed in this event.

My hands gripped the metal railing as Emmett backed Scarlet into the box. I could still make out the announcer a bit, so I turned up the volume on my iPod even louder. I didn't want to hear the back story I knew he would be spewing to gain the attention of the crowd; they could obviously tell there was something wrong with the horse in the ring from the shortened mane and splotches of bright pink skin all over her body from where she had been burned. The wounds were healed, but the hair had yet to grow back, making her look like someone had graffitied her body with neon pink spray paint.

The official hooked the barrier rope as Emmett backed his mare to the far right corner, so far in that her tail was rubbing the fence. She had such a huge burst of speed that he had to put her as far back as possible so she didn't get a penalty for breaking the barrier rope too early.

Emmett shifted in his saddle and tugged the reins a few times, checking to be sure Scarlett was ready. Her eyes were wide, her nostrils flared and her muscles quivered in anticipation. She loved this just as much as Emmett did. I watched as his chest expanded in a final deep breath.

He nodded.

The gate containing the steer slammed open and they were all a blur of black, brown, white, and the deep blue of Emmett's button down shirt and Wrangler's. My eyes were experienced, though, and were able to follow the flow of their movements.

Scarlet had flattened her ears and flew up right beside and eventually overtaking the steer. Emmett was leaning to the right, finally pushing from the saddle just as the mare was pulling away. Using his momentum and his strength, he fell onto the steer, grabbing it by its nose and horns, simultaneously digging his heels into the dirt. With one sharp twist of his arms, the six hundred pound steer was flipped on its back, all four legs in the air.

The crowd erupted and I hissed out a "yes" and a fist pump. His time was good. Very good. There were still a few more bull-doggers to go yet, but Emmett was definitely sitting pretty for a top spot.

A little bit of relief flashed through me now that his run was done. I didn't stick around for the results; I still had to get Copper tacked and ready, and I didn't want to have to rush.

The walk back to the stalls was quick. Nobody bothered to try to stop and talk to me; they were all too focused on their own go's. I scrolled through my playlist on the way back, finally settling on Unwritten Law's song _F.I.G.H.T._. The driving beat kept me focused on the task at hand.

Some kind of Zen-like state took over me – I was totally focused. I methodically groomed and tacked my horse, taking care to check and recheck all of my equipment as I put it in place. Even Copper was amazingly still and quiet as I worked around him. I walked out of the stall and sat on a bale of hay to strap on my spurs and to just fucking breathe. I had to wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans to dry them off. Placing my hat on my head, adjusting the brim low, I found my resolve and went into the stall to put bridle up.

Wrapping an arm around Copper's neck and placing one hand on his nose, I had to ask just once. "Think you've got ten more good runs in you, boy?" He sneezed, bobbing his head up and down. "Me too, old man. Me too."

I tucked my iPod in my jacket, then shrugged it off and tossed it on the hay bale as we exited the stall. Climbing aboard, I mentally checked all my tack again as I thanked the heavens that my friends had actually listened to me and left me alone before my run. Superstition or not, I needed to be alone to concentrate on my strategies. They would all be in the stands cheering me on and that would be more than enough.

A few minutes later, I found myself in the warm up pen with a small number of other barrel racers. I tried not to look over my competition for fear of being so star struck by the famous faces that I'd lose my nerve. I centered on my ride and my horse and chanted "it's just another rodeo" as Jasper instructed while I warmed up Copper with some long trotting circles.

The sound of the drag tractors leaving the arena made my pulse spike.

It was time. No more stalling. No more wondering if I was ready. It didn't matter much whether I was ready now or not.

"Miss Swan, you're up first ma'am," the gate man called as he read off his check list. I nodded and made my way toward him. He pushed the gate open and I could see our first target dead ahead. Copper stayed calm as I situated myself in the saddle. I heard the announcer calling the class, then the boom of the speakers as they erupted with music…

But not just any music…it was Pitbull – _Move, Shake, Drop_.

_Only Emmett._

A grin the size of my home state spread across my face. Somehow that man had connections to the MC for the night and managed to play this song for me. He knew it was on my competition playlist and took advantage of the fact that the NFR loves to play loud music as you make your runs.

"You're clear to go when you're ready, Miss Swan. Good luck."

I nodded and patted Copper's neck. "Ready boy?" I felt him tense immediately. We made one small circle and then took off up the alleyway toward the first barrel. My spurs tapping on his belly set the pace, and we flew into the arena at top speed.

We had taken several practice runs at this yesterday, and our preparation was paying off. Everything sailed so smoothly – his stride was perfect, my position in the saddle was right on the money, my long hair flowed behind me from underneath my cowboy hat, and the capacity crowd was just a low buzz on the periphery as we melted around the first turn. Copper practically ate up the second barrel he was going so fast. On the final turn, he was so close to the can that my knee grazed the rim all the way around the back side. It was a perfect turn.

I reached for my over and under rope as we turned for home and prodded him for more speed. I kept low and forward in the saddle, eliciting every possible ounce of speed from our form. We crossed the timer and flew down the alleyway before I even thought about trying to slow him up.

And then I breathed.

_Holyfuckingballsoffire!_

My mind was spinning and I was giggling, completely overjoyed at how well our first run had gone as we came to a stop. The adrenaline in my system had my hands and every muscle in my body practically vibrating. Even if our time didn't clock up in the top five, I knew that run was the best we could do and that was enough.

I patted Copper's neck nearly the whole walk back to the stalls. His breathing was starting to find its regular pattern and his body began to relax as we went. I would have to be sure to give him a good liniment rub down and wrap his legs up after this. Just as we neared the stalls, I heard my favorite booming voice.

"Bella! Baby, that was awesome!"

I laughed as two giant arms wrapped around me nearly pulling me out of the saddle. "Thanks, Em." My arms instinctively wrapped around him and I buried my face in his neck. I didn't care that he was covered in dirt and grime from rolling around with a damn cow, he smelled and felt familiar; my home. I giggled even more when I realized that my feet had yet to hit the ground.

Still suspended in mid air by Emmett's embrace, I mumbled into his neck. "You can put me down, Em."

"Don't wanna."

"Mmm. I like the sound of that."

But someone was getting impatient…Copper stamped his foot and nudged my back with his nose.

"Em, honey, you really need to put me down. I need to take care of my horse."

He sighed and reluctantly loosened his grip so that my body slid down the length of his. He traced his hands up my arms to cup my face before our lips collided. The kiss was warm and sweet and full of emotion. After a few seconds he broke away to look in my eyes. His grin nearly split his face in half and his bottomless blue eyes danced with exhilaration. I couldn't help but return the very same look.

"Okay, let's get this taken care of. We need to get back up there to see where you placed, and then Jasper's up for the bull riding," Emmett said as we turned to go.

That reminded me, "Oh, speaking of placing, where did you end up? I was so nervous that I didn't hear a thing until they called my name to run."

He didn't say anything for a minute, choosing instead to just smirk as he started to undo the cinch on the saddle. I tried to wait patiently.

"Em, don't leave me hanging. Tell me," I smacked his arm with one hand, Copper's bridle in the other. I hung it just outside the stall then came back to face Emmett, my arms crossed and blocking his exit as he held my saddle. I wasn't moving until he decided to spill it.

"Fine," he sighed. "I just didn't want to disappoint you…you know, with my second place run and all…"

"Emmett Eugene McCarty, you got second?" I squealed and bounced and then ran and jumped into his arms – luckily he had enough presence of mind to drop my saddle and catch me. He laughed and spun me around as I peppered his face with kisses and girly shrieks.

"Come on, little girl. We've got to get this wrapped up so we can go see how you did tonight," he chuckled as he lowered me to the ground.

We were just finishing up and walking hand in hand back toward the main arena when we heard the announcer's voice booming from the speakers above us. "Finals results of the women's barrel racing…our winner tonight was Brittany Pozzi riding Stitch…second place goes to Bella Swan riding Copper…in third place we have Cherry Cervi with Dinero…"

I seemed to be doing a lot of squealing today. A lot of bouncing, too. And hugging. Well, okay, Emmett was doing the hugging, but I let him. There were no words for the absolute exhilaration I felt in that moment, knowing that everything the two of us worked for was finally paying off. For once, I hadn't been plagued with clumsiness or bad luck, and that was a miracle in itself.

After we calmed down enough to not make a spectacle of ourselves as first-timers, Emmett and I made a dash for the arena. We had missed Jasper's saddle bronc ride earlier in the day, but we'd heard that he drew a third place check. His next event was bull riding, and there was no way we were going to miss that.

The bucking bulls at the NFR were some of the best in the world. They were mean, they were rank, and Jasper was just about to strap himself as tight as he could to one's back. A few hours ago, Emmett jumped from a horse at a full out run to tackle a steer.

I never said my two favorite boys were smart men, but they sure were entertaining.

The two of us made it to the stands just as the gate swung open for the first rider. He didn't last long – about four seconds – before the large red bull put him in the dirt. The same went for the next rider. The third cowboy was able to stay aboard for the full eight seconds and also managed to stick a decent landing on his knees when the buzzer sounded, but his bull was a mean son of a bitch and chased him the whole way to the wall. Cowboys could be agile buggers if given the proper motivation.

Fourth to go was Jasper. I zeroed in on him as he straddled the bull, pounding on his gloved hand and tightening the rope that tethered him to the gray eighteen hundred pound beast.

Many of the cowboys competing wore protective vests and helmets. Jasper donned the vest, but refused to wear the head gear. "I have to wear my lucky hat, Bells. I need luck more than I need what's left of my little brain," he'd told me last year when I begged him to put safety first. But he was part of a dying breed of old school cowboys who harbored more balls than brains.

We watched and I held Emmett's hand as Jasper slid up on his rope hand and seated himself deep onto the bull's back. He braced himself; right arm flexed and tied down, left arm in the air, spurs at the ready for a good mark-out. With his hat pushed down low, he gritted his teeth, then nodded.

With a loud crash the gate flew open. Like a coiled spring suddenly cut loose, the bull twisted into the air, a huge cloud of dust launching from its back and creating a surreal image of man and beast. The bull dipped its head and began to spin and buck to the right. Three rotations later and he changed directions, Jasper expertly reading his every move and staying with him step for step.

The buzzer sounded at the eight second mark, and I exhaled the breath I was holding only to sharply intake another.

As Jasper brought his free hand down to untie the rope, I realized it was taking way too fucking long for him to get free. He was caught up in the rope and the bull was still bucking. A few more twists and Jasper was pitched from the bull's back and ultimately tossed around like a rag doll, his hand still stuck in the rope.

All at once there was a flurry of activity in the ring. The clowns were throwing themselves in front of the bull, trying to distract it from the potential target of Jasper's body. Four other cowboys rushed the bull on the side where Jasper was dangling helplessly. All of them were trying to work the rope free, one was wielding a knife to try to and cut the bonds. Finally, with a one last pull, Jasper fell free and the bull was herded from the ring.

He didn't move.


	21. Chapter 21

**We're coming to a close here folks, two more chapters to go after this one! Don't hate on me for the cliffies, you know you like the excitement! So if you're still out there and reading, let me know what you think and hit that review button. **

**Thanks for reading!**

Notion Ch. 21

He didn't move.

At least what I could see of him wasn't moving. Fifteen people must have been surrounding Jasper's prone form, and all I could make out were his boots and the bottoms of his legs stretched out from beyond the circle formed around him of the medical staff, ring crew, and clowns. I drew is a shaky breath and held it. Emmett's hand clenched my own tightly and I knew he was barely breathing, too.

Then one of the crew moved away, signaling for someone to fetch the backboard.

That's when I saw Jasper move.

It wasn't much, just a short sliding of his foot, a bending of his knee, but it was enough. Emmett must have seen it, too, because we both let out the breath that we were holding for lord knows how long. My feet made the decision before my brain caught up with the action.

I don't remember running. I don't remember dragging Emmett behind me by the hand like he weighed no more than a feather.

What I do remember is stopping just outside the medic area as Jasper was being wheeled past…

And the fucker winked at me.

He winced when the stretcher he was on hit a bump in the dirt, but the fucker still smirked and winked at me. I just stood there, stark still and silent except for my mouth doing its best impression of a fish out of water.

_Of all the no good, rotten…_

Emmett's laugh boomed through the hallway. Not sure if he was laughing at my expression or Jasper's deranged sense of humor and once I snapped my jaw shut, I covered my bases and smacked him on the back side of his head anyway. He kept on snickering.

_Big, dumb, sexy, smartass._

I stomped into the medical area, ready to give Whitlock a piece of my mind. He was trying to shoo the doctors away and they were doing their best to convince him to stay put. I could tell from the doorway that his shoulder didn't look normal.

"I'm fine. Gotta ride again soon, so I'll just be on my way," Jasper started to say.

He started, but I finished.

I walked right up to Jasper as he was shrugging the doctors and medical trainers away and stood in his path. He looked down at me, giving me a condescending smirk. That was all it took.

I reached forward and grabbed onto his shoulder, the one that I knew was dislocated from fifty feet away. Jasper let out a wail and crumpled back down to the stretcher.

"Now you listen here Jasper Whitlock," I gritted out from between my teeth. "You will lay here and you will let these doctors put that shoulder back into place." He started to protest so I squeezed harder, producing another gasp and shriek from his throat. "And you will follow their instructions to the letter, even if that means no more riding. Do you hear me?" Jasper tried to ignore me, but I'm a mean mama when I need to be, so I squeezed and shifted that should just a bit more. That got his attention and probably a chipped tooth from grinding his teeth so hard. "I said, do you hear me?"

"Yes ma'am," he groaned through his teeth and I finally released him.

I turned to the medical staff. "Ok boys, he's all yours." I tried to leave the room in a hurry, but I still managed to hear loud yell and the sickening pop of Jasper's dislocated shoulder being shoved back into place.

Men are babies.

When a guy is sick or hurt, he milks it for all its worth, constantly belly-aching that he's in pain or that he feels useless because he's out of commission. Women are much tougher. Anyone that can bleed for a week and not die, or squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon knows how to tolerate pain.

So when Jasper had to sit out the rest of the finals, you know he was mad enough to spit nails, but I was woman enough to put him in his place. Emmett was a giggling fool about the whole thing, snorting every time I raised an eyebrow and nodded to Jasper's sling in silent warning.

The rest of the long week went by in a blur of cheering on Emmett, listening to Jasper grumble, kissing on Emmett, running Copper for all he was worth, and lovin' on Emmett for all I was worth in our hotel room every night. I was wrapped in a world that I'd never really allowed myself to dream of, yet there I was, alive and living it as hard as I could. I think my mom and dad would have been proud, or at least Emmett told me so.

Rose, Edward, and Alice were the best support system and cheering squad. Every time I started to get nervous or down, my friends always knew just what to say to lift me back up. Emmett was riding for a gold buckle and I was sitting in second place and had left all the barrels standing so far.

The last night of the NFR, Emmett pulled out the victory and pulled me to his side, barely coming up for air from my lips as Rose tried to interview him on live TV. I was a little red faced, but mostly I was shaking like a leaf since I had yet to make my last run.

It was still the happiest time of my life.

The happiest time…right up until my final run.

_Breathe. Breathe. Relax your seat. Easy, Copper…keep it easy right now…that's it. Still two other girls to go. Visualize. Check the reins at the first barrel, then let him wrap the last two cans on his own. Trust your horse. Breathe._

I was the last draw to go. Two more girls were in the warm up pen, waiting their turn ahead of me. I really didn't even see them. I knew they were there, but couldn't tell you who they were, what they looked like, if they had said anything to me, or if one of them had suddenly sprouted wings and was about to fly out the window. God could have chosen that moment to reveal himself to me and I probably would have just ridden right past him. My only thoughts were of me, my horse, and the guy manning the in-gate.

Two of us left now.

My heart was thudding in my chest. I fought to control the shaking in my hands with slow and steady breathing. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and gave me the high that I lived my life for. _This_ feeling is what made everything worthwhile. This is what I had dreamed of my entire life. Everything came down to this one last ride. My one chance. My moment. My destiny within reach.

And then there was one.

When the last horse before my draw was gone, Copper began to get restless. He didn't like to be alone. I knew he didn't, and I had planned accordingly on how to keep him steady.

But something was off. He was too excited, too hot right now. I circled him a little to try and remove some of his tension, but I only had about ten more seconds before that gate would open and I would be headed up the alleyway.

Copper shook his head and started prancing sideways, and both of us had muscles that were trembling. He was breathing too heavy. That wasn't good. The change in climate wasn't good on his lungs and I knew that he was prone to bleeding through his nose. I leaned to the side and tried to peer at his nose. Sure enough, there was a thin trickle of blood rolling down his muzzle.

But it was too late. I was out of time. That damn announcer had condemned me.

"And our last cowgirl is Miss Bella Swan on Copper Dash…show her your love folks!"

The gate swung open, revealing the alleyway into the arena. Copper was too seasoned and knew what that meant - he was supposed to run. I tried to hold him back - I didn't want to hurt him - but he was too strong. He rooted his nose forward, ripping the reins from my hands and took off at full speed down the alley.

I wasn't ready.

I tried to play catch up, frantically reaching and grasping for the reins, but all my fingers could find was Copper's long red mane. I buried my fingers into his long hair and held on so tight that my knuckles immediately turned white. My feet weren't set and had somehow slipped from the stirrups.

I was in deep shit. This would be like holding on to a speeding freight train with my bare hands. My instincts kicked in. I deepened my seat in the saddle, gripped with my knees and thighs, and did the only thing that I could do - I spurred him on faster.

We sped up the alleyway and burst into the arena, running faster than I've ever gone in my entire life.

In the back of my head I could hear the crowd gasp as they realized something was terribly wrong.

We made a direct beeline for the first barrel and I wondered if Copper could rate quickly enough at this speed in order to wrap around the can. I braced once hand on the saddle horn and tightened my grip even further on his mane, but never stopped bumping my spurs on his belly or hissing him on for more speed.

Just when I thought for sure we were going to blow by it, Copper melted into the ground underneath me and effortlessly snaked his way around the backside of the barrel before exploding out of the pocket toward the second. I was able to stay with him, still pushing for more speed. He wrapped the second barrel just as smoothly and then headed for the third.

The crowd was going wild and all it did was push my horse and I even faster.

Copper sat into the ground and seemed to slide right around the final barrel, turning back to the alleyway. He flattened his neck out and stretched his legs as far as they would go, covering ground like never before. I still kept spurring him, one hand tangled in his mane and the other using my over and under rope to push him harder.

I could see the alleyway rapidly growing larger.

I could hear Copper thundering underneath me.

I could hear the crowd stomping their feet and screaming.

We crossed the timer's barrier when I really heard it - my horse's breathing hitched. Then stuttered. Then stopped.

And we were falling.

Copper's head bowed down between his legs…legs that had buckled underneath him. His whole front end disappeared before my eyes, and I was launched out of the saddle toward a large, white, brick wall.

There was a loud thud.

There were screams and gasps.

And then there was blackness…


End file.
